I feel really stupid.

SnowTiger · Nov 30, 2018

For the longest time I thought I was going to hell because of bets that I made in my head. Now I realize I'm going to hell because of my worst sins. I feel really stupid. The voices in my head say I will die due to my sins. I feel like my sins are too awful to be forgiven. All day long I am miserable. These voices bother me day and night. One voice says he is trying to save me, but he keeps trying to get me to do something I don't want to do. All day long he tells me to do things that I don't want to do. He says if I do what he tells me it will save my life. I believe he is telling the truth, but I'm still too afraid to do what he tells me to do.

I wish that the medications I'm taking would remove the voices, but they don't. They help a little so that I can sleep, but they don't remove the voices at all. I'm taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 5 mg Haldol. People tell me, "You should try another drug," but I swear I've taken a lot of them.

I feel like there is no hope. The voices say I will die in a horrible way and afterward I will wake up in a coffin. They say there is no way out of the coffin and I'll be trapped there forever. One voice laughs at me all day long. He says he is the devil himself. He says he knows the future, and I'm going to hell and there is no way out. He laughs at me and says "You're just bad enough." He says I will die due to my sins and that afterward I will wake up in a coffin.

I feel like God has no mercy for me. People say he loves me, but all day long I'm suffering from voices, and these voices feel like a punishment from God. I feel like I've tried everything to get rid of them, but nothing works. They laugh at me all day long.

Anyway, I want help, but I don't think anyone can help me. Only God can save me but he is unwilling. One voice in my head says he will save me if I just do what he says, but so far I've been too afraid to do what he tells me to.

eleos1954 · Nov 30, 2018

SnowTiger said:
For the longest time I thought I was going to hell because of bets that I made in my head. Now I realize I'm going to hell because of my worst sins. I feel really stupid. The voices in my head say I will die due to my sins. I feel like my sins are too awful to be forgiven. All day long I am miserable. These voices bother me day and night. One voice says he is trying to save me, but he keeps trying to get me to do something I don't want to do. All day long he tells me to do things that I don't want to do. He says if I do what he tells me it will save my life. I believe he is telling the truth, but I'm still too afraid to do what he tells me to do.

I wish that the medications I'm taking would remove the voices, but they don't. They help a little so that I can sleep, but they don't remove the voices at all. I'm taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 5 mg Haldol. People tell me, "You should try another drug," but I swear I've taken a lot of them.

I feel like there is no hope. The voices say I will die in a horrible way and afterward I will wake up in a coffin. They say there is no way out of the coffin and I'll be trapped there forever. One voice laughs at me all day long. He says he is the devil himself. He says he knows the future, and I'm going to hell and there is no way out. He laughs at me and says "You're just bad enough." He says I will die due to my sins and that afterward I will wake up in a coffin.

I feel like God has no mercy for me. People say he loves me, but all day long I'm suffering from voices, and these voices feel like a punishment from God. I feel like I've tried everything to get rid of them, but nothing works. They laugh at me all day long.

Anyway, I want help, but I don't think anyone can help me. Only God can save me but he is unwilling. One voice in my head says he will save me if I just do what he says, but so far I've been too afraid to do what he tells me to.

"One voice in my head says he will save me if I just do what he says, but so far I've been too afraid to do what he tells me to."

If any voices are telling you anything that is not in line with the teachings of Jesus ... they are not from God ... always remember that ... stay in Gods Word and always follow the Lamb.

May the Lord give you peace in your mind. Amen.

God Bless.

Lord'sWarrior · Nov 30, 2018

SnowTiger said:
For the longest time I thought I was going to hell because of bets that I made in my head. Now I realize I'm going to hell because of my worst sins. I feel really stupid. The voices in my head say I will die due to my sins. I feel like my sins are too awful to be forgiven. All day long I am miserable. These voices bother me day and night. One voice says he is trying to save me, but he keeps trying to get me to do something I don't want to do. All day long he tells me to do things that I don't want to do. He says if I do what he tells me it will save my life. I believe he is telling the truth, but I'm still too afraid to do what he tells me to do.

I wish that the medications I'm taking would remove the voices, but they don't. They help a little so that I can sleep, but they don't remove the voices at all. I'm taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 5 mg Haldol. People tell me, "You should try another drug," but I swear I've taken a lot of them.

I feel like there is no hope. The voices say I will die in a horrible way and afterward I will wake up in a coffin. They say there is no way out of the coffin and I'll be trapped there forever. One voice laughs at me all day long. He says he is the devil himself. He says he knows the future, and I'm going to hell and there is no way out. He laughs at me and says "You're just bad enough." He says I will die due to my sins and that afterward I will wake up in a coffin.

I feel like God has no mercy for me. People say he loves me, but all day long I'm suffering from voices, and these voices feel like a punishment from God. I feel like I've tried everything to get rid of them, but nothing works. They laugh at me all day long.

Anyway, I want help, but I don't think anyone can help me. Only God can save me but he is unwilling. One voice in my head says he will save me if I just do what he says, but so far I've been too afraid to do what he tells me to.

I don't know what the voice tells you, but I advise you to not do anything bad.
I don't have hallucinations, and I can't know what you go trough, I go through other things, but all I can say is that God doesn't want you to go to hell. You should give that hell thing a break. It's eating you up inside. If believing hell is giving you trouble, you should not give importance to that belief. It's detrimental to your health. No one really knows what happens after death. We believe. And believe is not knowing. Give the hell idea a break. Rest from it. If you need to give up that idea for your health, I'm sure God will understand. He knows each ones hearth. No one other knows but God. Rest.

SkyWriting · Nov 30, 2018

SnowTiger said:
For the longest time I thought I was going to hell because of bets that I made in my head. Now I realize I'm going to hell because of my worst sins. I feel really stupid. The voices in my head say I will die due to my sins. I feel like my sins are too awful to be forgiven. All day long I am miserable. These voices bother me day and night. One voice says he is trying to save me, but he keeps trying to get me to do something I don't want to do. All day long he tells me to do things that I don't want to do. He says if I do what he tells me it will save my life. I believe he is telling the truth, but I'm still too afraid to do what he tells me to do.

I wish that the medications I'm taking would remove the voices, but they don't. They help a little so that I can sleep, but they don't remove the voices at all. I'm taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 5 mg Haldol. People tell me, "You should try another drug," but I swear I've taken a lot of them.

I feel like there is no hope. The voices say I will die in a horrible way and afterward I will wake up in a coffin. They say there is no way out of the coffin and I'll be trapped there forever. One voice laughs at me all day long. He says he is the devil himself. He says he knows the future, and I'm going to hell and there is no way out. He laughs at me and says "You're just bad enough." He says I will die due to my sins and that afterward I will wake up in a coffin.

I feel like God has no mercy for me. People say he loves me, but all day long I'm suffering from voices, and these voices feel like a punishment from God. I feel like I've tried everything to get rid of them, but nothing works. They laugh at me all day long.

Anyway, I want help, but I don't think anyone can help me. Only God can save me but he is unwilling. One voice in my head says he will save me if I just do what he says, but so far I've been too afraid to do what he tells me to.

While we were still sinners, Christ died for our sins.

This means Jesus died for our imperfections before you woke up today.
You can't take it back. No take-backs. Jesus already died for your sins
to day and tomorrow. Mercy came when God sent His Only Son.

As for the voices, a day is coming when you will need to explain
how you pushed through the tough times. This person will be impressed!

SnowTiger · Nov 30, 2018

I always get worried that I lost my salvation because of something I said to my friend about Jesus. It was pretty bad and after I said those words to my friend, a sign appeared on my hand saying I will be in a coffin.

Serving Zion · Nov 30, 2018

SnowTiger said:
For the longest time I thought I was going to hell because of bets that I made in my head. Now I realize I'm going to hell because of my worst sins. I feel really stupid. The voices in my head say I will die due to my sins. I feel like my sins are too awful to be forgiven. All day long I am miserable. These voices bother me day and night. One voice says he is trying to save me, but he keeps trying to get me to do something I don't want to do. All day long he tells me to do things that I don't want to do. He says if I do what he tells me it will save my life. I believe he is telling the truth, but I'm still too afraid to do what he tells me to do.

I wish that the medications I'm taking would remove the voices, but they don't. They help a little so that I can sleep, but they don't remove the voices at all. I'm taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 5 mg Haldol. People tell me, "You should try another drug," but I swear I've taken a lot of them.

I feel like there is no hope. The voices say I will die in a horrible way and afterward I will wake up in a coffin. They say there is no way out of the coffin and I'll be trapped there forever. One voice laughs at me all day long. He says he is the devil himself. He says he knows the future, and I'm going to hell and there is no way out. He laughs at me and says "You're just bad enough." He says I will die due to my sins and that afterward I will wake up in a coffin.

I feel like God has no mercy for me. People say he loves me, but all day long I'm suffering from voices, and these voices feel like a punishment from God. I feel like I've tried everything to get rid of them, but nothing works. They laugh at me all day long.

Anyway, I want help, but I don't think anyone can help me. Only God can save me but he is unwilling. One voice in my head says he will save me if I just do what he says, but so far I've been too afraid to do what he tells me to.

Hi SnowTiger, wow, that is such torment, and to think that it all came about from some silly bets you once made! But I do know what is going on here. I just would like to know how credible that voice is that claims to be able to save you through obedience.. can you give some examples of the types of commandments you are afraid to follow?

SarahsKnight · Nov 30, 2018

SnowTiger said:
I feel like there is no hope. The voices say I will die in a horrible way and afterward I will wake up in a coffin. They say there is no way out of the coffin and I'll be trapped there forever. One voice laughs at me all day long. He says he is the devil himself. He says he knows the future, and I'm going to hell and there is no way out. He laughs at me and says "You're just bad enough." He says I will die due to my sins and that afterward I will wake up in a coffin.

I don't know what to say to any of this, SnowTiger, except that, it's just not true. God will have mercy on you and He is not punishing you or hates you and wants you to suffer. I realize this can likely only sound like an empty platitude to you, especially when your miserable circumstances can only attest something different than what I am saying to you. But, I don't know what else to say. I promise you, though, several times since seeing you for the first time on this forum I have prayed for your peace and healing and have encouraged others in my preferred sub-community here to do the same for you. No one should suffer these fears and problems as you do, and I will keep praying that somehow, some way God will reveal Himself to you in all this more clearly to you and show you His love and mercy.

SarahsKnight · Nov 30, 2018

Serving Zion said:
But I do know what is going on here. I just would like to know how credible that voice is that claims to be able to save you through obedience.. can you give some examples of the types of commandments you are afraid to follow?

Seriously, @SnowTiger , if Serving Zion can empathize with your problems in the least, then please take heed to him and answer these questions he poses. If there is the slightest shred of hope that he can help you in the least bit, no matter how minute it may seem (and that is not intended in any kind of disrespectful way to you, ServingZion, mind you), then surely it is worth it. It is already more than what I can do for you.

JazzHands · Nov 30, 2018

You're not going to hell SnowTiger but you do need to start asserting your voice over these other voices. You are sovereign and these unwelcome guests have no place in you.

Serving Zion · Nov 30, 2018

SarahsKnight said:
Seriously, @SnowTiger , if Serving Zion can empathize with your problems in the least, then please take heed to him and answer these questions he poses. If there is the slightest shred of hope that he can help you in the least bit, no matter how minute it may seem (and that is not intended in any kind of disrespectful way to you, ServingZion, mind you), then surely it is worth it. It is already more than what I can do for you.

The mind is difficult to get a handle on. Some people have the luxury of not encountering that plague.. but, for those who do encounter it, they would benefit from quality support. There is very little of that support available. You have on one hand a doctor that prescribes medicine that he has never taken before, and who doesn't believe you when you tell him it doesn't work, and on the other hand you have people who have no idea what it's all about, but who want to give you hope with empty words. Where is the one who solves the problem though? .. Jesus said "the truth will set you free" .. so how is it that we get into the bind to begin with? .. we aren't born that way, just as OP has said.

It is the actions we make, the words that we say, the decisions we make, memories within us that serve to empower the tormentor as an accuser: "The one who accuses the brethren day and night" - Revelation 8:10.

As I mentioned, there are those who are not spiritual, who give false assurances before listening to the facts. If OP is in such a situation because of what he has done or desired to do, it is the venom of Nachash that is poisoning him. For this reason, we are told that "if we confess our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". That cleansing, is as in John 15:3 - the word of life that puts the wrong thinking into right thinking. "Are you also going to leave me? .. "Lord, to whom would we go? .. You have the words of life!"

But it is not easy for the one who is in the darkness of the broken thinking, to trust the one who is shining the light upon his shame. They cover themselves with fig leaves.

I'll just leave that thought with SnowTiger, that there is a real way of healing.

JazzHands · Nov 30, 2018

Serving Zion said:
..They cover themselves with fig leaves..

That's precisely what I thought the metaphor alluded to!

Unofficial Reverand Alex · Nov 30, 2018

I'm a Psychology major with particular interest in schizophrenia, in particular, the different ways that the voices speak to people. It's interesting to see how the words depend on the particular person. As you apparently are religious, the voices are going to take a religious turn. If some major life events happened, and you turned Buddhist, the voices would likely be speaking in a Buddhist context, not talking about God rejecting His mercy, but perhaps more about enlightenment and the Eightfold Path.

I tell you this not because I'm an expert of any kind, but because it may be good to keep in mind. The voices are going to be relative to what you think or believe. You believe in God, so the voices will tell you things against God. If you were Buddhist, the voices would tell you things against enlightenment. These voices will hate you no matter what you do. Caving in to their interests will solve nothing; they'll only continue to torment you for different things.

And as long as God's mercy is being involved, The Diary of St. Faustina is a great resource you could try to read. The book is great, but the main idea from it I'd like to bring to you is this: Unite your sufferings with Christ on the cross. Unite your sufferings with His, offer them up as prayers, and they will be given value beyond your comprehension.

Have you tried praying for your hallucinations? Praying for the voices? I wonder how that would work...

Peace be with you.

Samaritan Woman · Nov 30, 2018

SnowTiger said:
I wish that the medications I'm taking would remove the voices, but they don't. They help a little so that I can sleep, but they don't remove the voices at all. I'm taking 600 mg Clozaryl and 5 mg Haldol. People tell me, "You should try another drug," but I swear I've taken a lot of them.

I'm assuming you've tried all the various atypical anti-psychotics available, including Vraylar - the newest one on the market?

SnowTiger · Nov 30, 2018

Samaritan Woman said:
I'm assuming you've tried all the various atypical anti-psychotics available, including Vraylar - the newest one on the market?

I've tried Vraylar and it didn't do anything. Clozaryl has been the most effective, but I still hear voices all day long. Nothing really works.

SnowTiger · Nov 30, 2018

I really feel like I'm going to hell. I think that God gave me a chance to believe in Jesus, but I didn't believe when I had the chance. Now it's too late.

Samaritan Woman · Dec 1, 2018

SnowTiger said:
I've tried Vraylar and it didn't do anything. Clozaryl has been the most effective, but I still hear voices all day long. Nothing really works.

OK, I just was wondering - I'm bipolar with a long history of psychosis and catatonia. I do want to include the links below from a trustworthy site because the info may offer you hope for treating your symptoms.

Could these food supplements help treat psychosis?

B vitamins may improve schizophrenia symptoms

I feel really stupid.

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