Why would my pastor send me an individual email after a falling out?

If it is written generically it could be that the list of who it’s sent to is hidden using BCC it a mailing list service?

quintessentialramble said:

I would like nothing more than to reconcile with his family but I'm not about to return to a church whose pastor and family is choosing not to love me. I need us to trust each other first.

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Email him the above quote and see if you get a reply. He could just keep sending you invites to services and you could politely decline any further emails or maybe it will open the door to a response....or maybe not.

You could attend the service listen to the sermon, & see if he makes an effort to speak with you, If anyone questions why you are there, you have the invite on email and you Gladly accepted it, doors open and doors close.

Every Blessing

quintessentialramble said:

I've posted on here before about a falling out with my pastors family and a desire to reconcile even though not only does he think they're not doing anything wrong by cutting ties with me, but also think its biblical to do so, (I in no way agree with this and am fully convinced they're being sinful). I have made my attempt at reconciliation a couple times only to get rejected, and walked away after that, later on I noticed his family unfollowed me on instagram.

Fast forward several months later...I receive an email from the pastor...it is an individual email advertising his next sermon series inviting me to the church. Normally, church emails are sent from the churches email to a long list of members.

This email was sent directly from the pastor to only my email.

Maybe I'm looking too much into this and perhaps it's not even An individual email...but I'm curious what if it is...would this even be appropriate to send to me before reconciliation with me?
I would like nothing more than to reconcile with his family but I'm not about to return to a church whose pastor and family is choosing not to love me. I need us to trust each other first.

Fyi, the salutation is addressed as "hello friend," even though it seems very clear we are not friends.

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Perhaps the sermon was inspired by his thoughts and prayers regarding your falling out? Maybe he would like to share it with you for whatever reason.

Hello dear brother.

I would ask you to see if any other members of that pastor's church have received emails such has that to try and see if this was personal or sent to a long list of members. That might be quite difficult to do considering the falling out but if it's possible I think that could be a good decision to take. If it appears that this email was sent only to you then I would agree that it could be appropriate to aim at contacting the family. If however it appears to be sent to a large group of people then I would reconsider.

You should love this family even if they not love you in return. Even if they hate you, you should love them greater than you love yourself. I think it's great that you're trying to reconcile with him and I think it's brave as well and you should absolutely strive to do so but if he does not want to speak to you that is fine too.

If you are trying to reconcile and you're not received than there's nothing to do about it. That brother who has denied this opportunity acts exactly like a man walking in darkness rather than one in the light. I doubt his faith if he isn't willing to reconcile. It would be better for you to stay away from those who calls themselves Christians but do not want to forgive others friend or foe alike. Remember what our small forgiveness are in the shadow of.

I've checked a lot of the threads you've started "Do you think it's possible for two people to forgive without reconciling? I do not." (being an example) and I agree with a lot of what you've said and your love is a testament to our heavenly father.

Ultimately, I think you take this opportunity to try and reconcile with this man and his family. The worst case scenario is that you're told to leave. The best is that this schism is fixed.

Clement of Rome in 95 AD wrote that "Love admits no schisms; love gives rise to no seditions. Love does all things in harmony"

1 John 2:9 says that if we do not love a brother or sister than we're in the darkness.



I wish you good luck my friend.

Also, loving someone can take many forms. When one fears a relationship to be toxic or draining to either party, neither is obligate on participating further. One can love from afar, and keep the other in good prayers. Sometimes all that is needed is a break, and sometimes people need to terminate relationships entirely. It's often necessary to retain love for those with which we struggle, so we don't become angry with them or say damaging things out of impetuousness

quintessentialramble said:

I've posted on here before about a falling out with my pastors family and a desire to reconcile even though not only does he think they're not doing anything wrong by cutting ties with me, but also think its biblical to do so, (I in no way agree with this and am fully convinced they're being sinful). I have made my attempt at reconciliation a couple times only to get rejected, and walked away after that, later on I noticed his family unfollowed me on instagram.

Fast forward several months later...I receive an email from the pastor...it is an individual email advertising his next sermon series inviting me to the church. Normally, church emails are sent from the churches email to a long list of members.

This email was sent directly from the pastor to only my email.

Maybe I'm looking too much into this and perhaps it's not even An individual email...but I'm curious what if it is...would this even be appropriate to send to me before reconciliation with me?
I would like nothing more than to reconcile with his family but I'm not about to return to a church whose pastor and family is choosing not to love me. I need us to trust each other first.

Fyi, the salutation is addressed as "hello friend," even though it seems very clear we are not friends.

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Why not email him back and tell him how you feel?

whereloveandmercymeet said:

If it is written generically it could be that the list of who it’s sent to is hidden using BCC it a mailing list service?

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Yup.

Unless the body of the email says something uniquely personal, it's likely an email sent to everyone they have addresses for, with other recipients hidden for privacy.

quintessentialramble said:

I've posted on here before about a falling out with my pastors family and a desire to reconcile even though not only does he think they're not doing anything wrong by cutting ties with me, but also think its biblical to do so, (I in no way agree with this and am fully convinced they're being sinful). I have made my attempt at reconciliation a couple times only to get rejected, and walked away after that, later on I noticed his family unfollowed me on instagram.

Fast forward several months later...I receive an email from the pastor...it is an individual email advertising his next sermon series inviting me to the church. Normally, church emails are sent from the churches email to a long list of members.

This email was sent directly from the pastor to only my email.

Maybe I'm looking too much into this and perhaps it's not even An individual email...but I'm curious what if it is...would this even be appropriate to send to me before reconciliation with me?
I would like nothing more than to reconcile with his family but I'm not about to return to a church whose pastor and family is choosing not to love me. I need us to trust each other first.

Fyi, the salutation is addressed as "hello friend," even though it seems very clear we are not friends.

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He could be using a new list server. With such only your email will show to protect the privacy of others.

quintessentialramble said:

I've posted on here before about a falling out with my pastors family and a desire to reconcile even though not only does he think they're not doing anything wrong by cutting ties with me, but also think its biblical to do so, (I in no way agree with this and am fully convinced they're being sinful). I have made my attempt at reconciliation a couple times only to get rejected, and walked away after that, later on I noticed his family unfollowed me on instagram.

Fast forward several months later...I receive an email from the pastor...it is an individual email advertising his next sermon series inviting me to the church. Normally, church emails are sent from the churches email to a long list of members.

This email was sent directly from the pastor to only my email.

Maybe I'm looking too much into this and perhaps it's not even An individual email...but I'm curious what if it is...would this even be appropriate to send to me before reconciliation with me?
I would like nothing more than to reconcile with his family but I'm not about to return to a church whose pastor and family is choosing not to love me. I need us to trust each other first.

Fyi, the salutation is addressed as "hello friend," even though it seems very clear we are not friends.

Click to expand...

I think I would go and listen to the message.
Maybe G-d himself is trying to tell you something, and you are rejecting G-d.

I would go. You asked for advice, there it is.

quintessentialramble said:

The only thing is...it's the only e-mail I've received from him or the church in a very long time....I have not received anything from the church since January when the falling out happened and I left, and nothing from the pastor since June when we last met.

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Have you been attending services regularly?

quintessentialramble said:

What I could do however...is send a reply email to the email that was sent...saying that unless his family is ready to forgive and reconcile, please do not contact me with anything regarding the church. I would love to discuss matters with your family as a whole, and while that would be hard and emotional, I feel it would be worth it to make the effort. I wish you no harm, but unless we can resolve our issues, I see no future at your church.

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Other than just bolstering your own pride, why would you even include the BOLDED part? If your situations were reversed, what kind of reply would YOU most favorably respond to? Is your honest intent just to thumb your nose at them, and "prove" that you have been right all along?

My advice is to either offer only a hand of friendship and a willingness to be humble enough to work things out.... or just hold your silence and never answer.