Is the let it go concept unbiblical?

quintessentialramble

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For me, whenever I read the bible, in regards to broken relationships, what I see in scripture is that we are to seek forgiveness and reconciliation quickly, (before we give our next offering). However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it. But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

Furthermore, if something is valuable, you would never actually let it go. If your house was marred by a flood...you would repair it. If your wedding ring dropped in the drain, you would go find it. If your child disappears, you would look for them. If someone asked you for your prized autograph baseball, you would not just simply let it go...you might sell it, perhaps, but it when adequate value has been met.

Why then, do we not give people the same value when God says to love them? Why do we not value relationship like we do a ring, or a home? If we did, surely this would attract people to Christ. Wouldnt trying to hold on, instead letting go, prove that someone is valuable?
 

bcbsr

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For me, whenever I read the bible, in regards to broken relationships, what I see in scripture is that we are to seek forgiveness and reconciliation quickly, (before we give our next offering). However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it. But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

Furthermore, if something is valuable, you would never actually let it go. If your house was marred by a flood...you would repair it. If your wedding ring dropped in the drain, you would go find it. If your child disappears, you would look for them. If someone asked you for your prized autograph baseball, you would not just simply let it go...you might sell it, perhaps, but it when adequate value has been met.

Why then, do we not give people the same value when God says to love them? Why do we not value relationship like we do a ring, or a home? If we did, surely this would attract people to Christ. Wouldnt trying to hold on, instead letting go, prove that someone is valuable?
One scripture that speaks to that is Matthew 18:15-17
"If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector."
 
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timewerx

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It depends on the situation.

If your child went missing, you definitely go search for them for that is a good deed and what good parent would do.

If your house got damaged, you repair it.

Wedding rings - meh. Wedding rings is a tradition originally observed by unbelievers / idolaters / unGodly. Christians adopted the tradition at a later time. But if you ask God personally, was it the right thing to do?? Answer: leave it in the drain.

If someone asked for your prized baseball card, you may give it away or keep it. The best way to do with it however, is to sell it and use the profit to help a fellow brother and sister who are struggling financially.

It takes wisdom to know what to do with what you have. You certainly don't have to give up everything, literally. But you can't strive to live in excesses either for that is a strong sign that you love money and worldly things which Jesus and the disciples clearly instructed we shouldn't do.
 
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Sabertooth

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But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.
Jesus said [in John 20:23 NKJV],

"If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.
 
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timewerx

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However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

There's actually lots of scriptures about dealing with our possessions. When to let go of them or to keep them and for which reasons.

Most of these teachings applicable in our time will be found in the Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John and additionally, from the book of 1 John.

The wisdom and knowledge contained in there is more than enough to answer your questions about letting go of things.

If you like, I can give you specific verses that answer any question you may have about letting go or keeping things.
 
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aiki

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For me, whenever I read the bible, in regards to broken relationships, what I see in scripture is that we are to seek forgiveness and reconciliation quickly, (before we give our next offering). However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it. But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

Well, hang on. Forgiving and forgetting is the pattern God establishes for us to follow. It is what He does with our sin when He forgives us of it.

Psalms 103:12
12 As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

Jeremiah 31:34
34 ... For I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more."

Hebrews 8:12
12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.

Hebrews 10:17
17 And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.

Furthermore, if something is valuable, you would never actually let it go. If your house was marred by a flood...you would repair it. If your wedding ring dropped in the drain, you would go find it. If your child disappears, you would look for them. If someone asked you for your prized autograph baseball, you would not just simply let it go...you might sell it, perhaps, but it when adequate value has been met.

But none of these examples exactly parallel the situation between you and another person (who is not your child). You certainly can't - and shouldn't - attempt to force someone to continue in a relationship with you if they don't wish to. They aren't a prized possession that has no say in what you do with it.

Why then, do we not give people the same value when God says to love them? Why do we not value relationship like we do a ring, or a home? If we did, surely this would attract people to Christ. Wouldnt trying to hold on, instead letting go, prove that someone is valuable?

Of course an effort should be made to sustain valued relationships with other people but not to the point of coercion or ignoring their wishes to be left alone. Love does not engage in such things.
 
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timewerx

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For me, whenever I read the bible, in regards to broken relationships, what I see in scripture is that we are to seek forgiveness and reconciliation quickly, (before we give our next offering). However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it. But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

Actually, there is. If they do not listen, leave them alone - Matthew 10:14.

Furthermore, if something is valuable, you would never actually let it go....If someone asked you for your prized autograph baseball, you would not just simply let it go...

Do not value the things of this world - 1 John 2:15-17
 
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Tolworth John

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However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it.

Here you have the heart of the problem.

If they are unwilling to accept an apology or make an apology there are only a few things one can do.
Pray for them. Seek help to reconcile oneself with them, to tell God about the situation and leave it with him.
 
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dysert

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It's the old "shake the dust off your sandals" adage. You can and should certainly forgive them, but you can't make them reconcile with you. You can try, but if they don't want to, what choice do you have? You have to "let it go" because in reality that's the only option if you're dealing with someone who's recalcitrant.
 
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A_Thinker

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For me, whenever I read the bible, in regards to broken relationships, what I see in scripture is that we are to seek forgiveness and reconciliation quickly, (before we give our next offering). However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it. But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

Furthermore, if something is valuable, you would never actually let it go. If your house was marred by a flood...you would repair it. If your wedding ring dropped in the drain, you would go find it. If your child disappears, you would look for them. If someone asked you for your prized autograph baseball, you would not just simply let it go...you might sell it, perhaps, but it when adequate value has been met.

Why then, do we not give people the same value when God says to love them? Why do we not value relationship like we do a ring, or a home? If we did, surely this would attract people to Christ. Wouldnt trying to hold on, instead letting go, prove that someone is valuable?

The Prodigal Son's father let him go ... and patiently waited for him to return ...
 
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quintessentialramble

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Actually, there is. If they do not listen, leave them alone - Matthew 10:14.

Do not value the things of this world - 1 John 2:15-17

The verse in Matthew refers to the disciples preaching the gospel to unbelievers, not to relationship to those in christ.

Which is, exactly my point. People are of greater value than anything but God. Yet we put our full value on worldly possessions.
 
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A_Thinker

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The verse in Matthew refers to the disciples preaching the gospel to unbelievers, not to relationship to those in christ.

Which is, exactly my point. People are of greater value than anything but God. Yet we put our full value on worldly possessions.

Who is "we" ?
 
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timewerx

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The verse in Matthew refers to the disciples preaching the gospel to unbelievers, not to relationship to those in christ.

In John Chapter 6, a great number of Christ's followers (believers) left Him and no longer followed Him.

Jesus simply let them go and did not even try to get them back.

I could point out a few more examples from the Bible if you still remain unconvinced.

Letting go of people isn't evil because even Jesus and the disciples did it.


Which is, exactly my point. People are of greater value than anything but God. Yet we put our full value on worldly possessions.

Yup, here's another verse to make it clear.

1 John 3:17-18
 
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Andrew77

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For me, whenever I read the bible, in regards to broken relationships, what I see in scripture is that we are to seek forgiveness and reconciliation quickly, (before we give our next offering). However we cannot make others reconcile..they must also want it. But when they dont, the usual advice, from Christians and non christians alike is to let it go and let them go if I love them. However, no scripture is referenced for this, and therefore it seems that by letting go I am appeasing the teachings of man rather than obeying christ.

Furthermore, if something is valuable, you would never actually let it go. If your house was marred by a flood...you would repair it. If your wedding ring dropped in the drain, you would go find it. If your child disappears, you would look for them. If someone asked you for your prized autograph baseball, you would not just simply let it go...you might sell it, perhaps, but it when adequate value has been met.

Why then, do we not give people the same value when God says to love them? Why do we not value relationship like we do a ring, or a home? If we did, surely this would attract people to Christ. Wouldnt trying to hold on, instead letting go, prove that someone is valuable?

So I'll start off with a couple of quick stories, and then give an answer to you.

About a decade ago, I heard the story of a man who went into ministry, I believe in south east Asia. He was a missionary for over 5 years. His daughter called him, and he told her that he needed to minister to people there, and would call her back later. Two days later, he got message that his daughter committed suicide. Later his wife divorced him. He spent the rest of his life a shattered man, that rarely left his house.

Another man, a pastor, got married to a woman. For whatever reason the mans parents did not like this woman. They did not approve of her, and had no interest in her. When they called, they would ask for him, and ignore his wife. When they visited, they ignored her, and talked only to him. One day he showed up with only his wife, and no kids. He sat her down in front of them, and explained this this was his wife, and that she was more important to him, than anyone else in the world. He gave them an ultimatum: Either treat her with the dignity and respect she deserves as his wife, or be cut out of the family. No holidays. No grand kids. They change phone numbers, and move to a new home. They will never see any of them ever again.

While the first story was tragic, the other the parents accepted his wife, and the problem was resolved. But he said that even to this day, if they had continued to reject her, he would have cut his parents out of his life, entirely and forever.

So what is my point?

Your main point is essentially right. We should struggle after the lost sheep, just like Jesus did. G-d would chase us to the ends of the universe, and he is able to do this, because he is G-d.

And we should struggle toward that end. And we should fight for our relationships when we can.

However, we must not be arrogant about who we are. We are not G-d. We are not Jesus. We are human beings, and we are limited. We can't do what Jesus did, because he is infinite, and we are finite.

And by the way.... about that.... you remember all those times in the Bible where Jesus went off to a far place alone? Where he was walking out on the water by himself, alone? On top of a mountain alone?

Why do you think Jesus needed space to be alone? He was G-d. He was literally the infinite creator. Why did he need time alone?

Forgive this non-pastor for putting my opinion on this....

I don't think Jesus really really needed time alone. I don't think he did that for himself. I think he did that for us, to be a model to us for how we should live.

How does that apply to your question?

Sometimes we need to let stuff go. Sometimes we need to admit to ourselves, we did our best, and now we have to let it go.

That missionary needed to let go of those relationships. He need to let go of those lost people, and go be a father to his family, and a husband to his wife. He needed to let it go.

That pastor, needed to let go of his parents, if they didn't stop harming his family.

I'm a person that has had a few specific relationships, that I cared very deeply over. And that relationship was so toxic and damaging, I finally realized I had to let it go. Doing that caused deep pain to me, but now I see it really was for the best.

I still care about them. I still want to see they are good, and doing well. But I can't have that relationship.

Fight for your relationships when you can. But understand some relationships are literally toxic, and you will destroy yourself, before you ever save them.

I was telling a friend this years ago... if your boat is sinking.... then you can't save someone by tie a rope around them connected to your sinking ship.

If you have a relationship that is drowning you, you are not going save them, you are just going to sink with them. Fight for who you can fight for. Stand up for whoever you stand for. Protect everyone that you can protect.

But you are not G-d. You are not infinite. You have limitations, and you need to protect yourself, or you won't be able to protect anyone.
 
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timewerx

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Your main point is essentially right. We should struggle after the lost sheep, just like Jesus did. G-d would chase us to the ends of the universe, and he is able to do this, because he is G-d.

And we should struggle toward that end. And we should fight for our relationships when we can..

It doesn't seem to agree with scriptures. Jesus did not chase after those who did not like the Gospel - John 6:66-67, even teaching His disciples to do the same - Matthew 10:14.

Ironically, it was the Pharisees who "hard sold" their religion. The devil also hard sell his false teachings.

Most churches I know that spreads false teachings are actually quite aggressive in imposing their beliefs on their friends, relatives, etc.

I've also known many people who have been subjected to it from relatives, describes the experience as mostly negative, horrific, torture (they actually said those words!). It's practically emotional abuse.

Jesus didn't do it. Even when Paul, Barnabas, and John Mark went their separate ways due to disputes, they didn't go chasing one another. They simply let each other go.

It's enough you let people your thoughts but don't push the matter any further. Don't waste time. Don't subject other people to awkward situations or even emotional abuse. Move on.
 
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