what are you feeling right now? (24)

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Happy thanksgiving 'muricans! And whoever else celebrates it.

caved into eating yogurt with added sugar tonight even though I was supposed to watch my glucose and a1c

I'm also tired of always wanting to lie down on my bed and put my blankets on even when I'm not officially "tired." It's becoming an addiction

Angry and annoyed.

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I'm depressed. I'm always depressed. I have nothing to complain about but I just feel sad. My fear that I'm going to hell when I die is constantly in the back of my mind and it ruins everything. I'm a Christian and I try to repent of everything whenever I think about it but I'm scared. I'm so sick of feeling responsible. I often wish I was dead. I haven't acted on my suicidal thoughts but they are constantly there. I constantly feel exhausted.

I feel so much shame about myself. I'm scared to even try dating again because the last time I tried to meet someone I so easily started letting the idea of sex before marriage go through my mind just to keep someone I barely met. Then I got scared that I had allowed myself to even think about it. I'm so ashamed I even thought about it. I'm so ashamed it was even an issue. I broke it off immediately after that but now I'm nervous about dating again. I don't trust myself.

I'm constantly feeling shame about everything. I'm scared of everything. I'm constantly worrying about everything that could go wrong. I hate myself and I want to die. If I pass all my classes there is a job waiting for me in less than a year. I'd finally be able to pay back my student debt and finally help my parents. But now I'm wondering if I should help my parents retire earlier or if I should save up money to move out. I'm too scared of being independent to even move out on my own and I'm already 28 years old. I feel like an overgrown child because I basically am one.

I always focus on what's wrong and what I don't have or about things that were painful in the past. I never remember the good times, only the bad. I have so many things that God has given me to be thankful for, and all I ever do is complain.

Wishing God would have mercy on me and pity my suffering.

Wishing God would have mercy on me and pity my suffering. That he would just take me now, so that I don't have to worry about the things of this life.

sea5763 said:

I'm depressed. I'm always depressed. I have nothing to complain about but I just feel sad. My fear that I'm going to hell when I die is constantly in the back of my mind and it ruins everything. I'm a Christian and I try to repent of everything whenever I think about it but I'm scared. I'm so sick of feeling responsible. I often wish I was dead. I haven't acted on my suicidal thoughts but they are constantly there. I constantly feel exhausted.

I feel so much shame about myself. I'm scared to even try dating again because the last time I tried to meet someone I so easily started letting the idea of sex before marriage go through my mind just to keep someone I barely met. Then I got scared that I had allowed myself to even think about it. I'm so ashamed I even thought about it. I'm so ashamed it was even an issue. I broke it off immediately after that but now I'm nervous about dating again. I don't trust myself.

I'm constantly feeling shame about everything. I'm scared of everything. I'm constantly worrying about everything that could go wrong. I hate myself and I want to die. If I pass all my classes there is a job waiting for me in less than a year. I'd finally be able to pay back my student debt and finally help my parents. But now I'm wondering if I should help my parents retire earlier or if I should save up money to move out. I'm too scared of being independent to even move out on my own and I'm already 28 years old. I feel like an overgrown child because I basically am one.

I always focus on what's wrong and what I don't have or about things that were painful in the past. I never remember the good times, only the bad. I have so many things that God has given me to be thankful for, and all I ever do is complain.

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Being depressed makes us often victims of our own negativities, which works like a real catch 22, and grows us heaps of bad life. Fighting our depression with God's Word and goodness is the best way to overcome the pit of depression.

To thank God for His blessings instead of wailing your misfortunes is but one thing that we can try and change but is hard to do if we haven't had victories yet fighting our depression with God's word. Did you know that putting our faith in God's love - as demonstrated by Jesus Christ - brings us real hope for better to come - and chases any fear of hell away, bring rest and joy.

Focus on growing His good life up against your bad life. Such as love for God, neighbour, as well as yourself. Kindness, gentleness, self-control, long suffering, joy, thankfulness, compassion, and caring for others.

When i started to grow good life my misery was 24/7 so at first it was only minutes of doing loving or caring deeds. However in only just over 3 years i broke free from my suicidal depression and climbed out of my pit. I did this by praying for people who were going through a hard time, and doing volunteers work with those who are less fortunate, such helped enormously fighting depressive thoughts.

Be of good courage depression can be overcome. Jesus can make us stronger than depression can bring to bear.

Turn away from looking at the darkness instead draw near to God, don't seek for answers in your troubled mind, but rebuild your psyche with God's promises.

Isaiah 55:1-3
“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live."

salt-n-light said:

Wishing God would have mercy on me and pity my suffering. That he would just take me now, so that I don't have to worry about the things of this life.

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Physical death does not need to be the answer, Jesus can take your bad life away and bring your good life back again.

Be of good courage farming His good life into your heart and growing out of your pit. It really is possible through His loving mercy.

Peace.

Dead to bad, Alive in New.
The Battle For Your Mind
is the thoughts you fight,
when you are down deep.
With the darkness pressing,
your ability to cope to pulp.
As you sink into your pit,
feeling godforsaken and alone.

Thoughts automatically respond,
to the darkness all around,
with you digging your own grave.
Willing to change your reality,
but not knowing how,
apart of to die to the pain.

Letting The Word have His say,
is best way to deal,
with renegade thoughts,
fuelled by depression.
For God's ability to suffer
He passes on to you down below.

A true light in your darkness,
is the light of His Gospel.
The truth of His promises,
can live inside of you.
Also you hurting your hell
wanting to die to it all.

So please place your faith in Him!
Let His loving truth guide you.
Follow Him wherever He goes.
Pass all your inabilities to Him,
and gain His abilities in return.
Climbing out of your pit as well.

Happy Thanksgiving Day ！Thank you all!

Feeling well today i wasn't even nauseous this morning. Looking forward spending a day with family.

Blessings to all

Up and down. One minute I'm happy and exciteable, another minute, I'm aggravated and angry. And I think I ruined a good friendship because of this brain, and I don't know what to say because after awhile, apologies sound so hollow.

sea5763 said:

I'm depressed. I'm always depressed. I have nothing to complain about but I just feel sad. My fear that I'm going to hell when I die is constantly in the back of my mind and it ruins everything. I'm a Christian and I try to repent of everything whenever I think about it but I'm scared. I'm so sick of feeling responsible. I often wish I was dead. I haven't acted on my suicidal thoughts but they are constantly there. I constantly feel exhausted.

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We can't be sinless by ourselves. Jesus took your sins, mine too. No fear. We can't buy our way into heaven by being paranoid about our sins and flagellating ourselves. We're absolutely unable to do it. And when we try, we focus on our sins, we stare at our failures, probably fail even more while we're at it, and we live in constant fear. It's too much of a burden. Funny thing you should mention about being responsible: we're responsible for our sins, but we're not responsible for our salvation. That's Christ's job, and He already did it. It's done. We have the wonderful opportunity to just take it to heart, instead of leaving Christ out of it in an effort to try and do it ourselves. I think it's important to let God be God.

When we "give up", and give our burdens to God, believing that He cared so much about us that he gave us His Son, we become thankful. We can breathe. We can love better, we can forgive each other better. We praise God more. Wayholka above said it well: we often think of God as an angry boss who's waiting for us to make a mistake, instead of a loving father whose compassion and love surpasses ours. But when such thoughts come to me, I think of Christ on the cross, praying for those who crucified and mocked Him. That is love, that is grace, and everyone can have it. It's alright brother, don't stress yourself so much.

Said a prayer for you and everyone else in here.

One more thing, I wanted to say that I greatly appreciate everyone who has ever encouraged and comforted anyone here. It's so great to see something like that.

chaoticfirefly said:

Up and down. One minute I'm happy and exciteable, another minute, I'm aggravated and angry. And I think I ruined a good friendship because of this brain, and I don't know what to say because after awhile, apologies sound so hollow.

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Shooting from the hip here, since I don’t know details or those involved.

If you characterize your relationship as “good”, it should withstand your erratic behavior. If it were me, I would, in a private setting, explain to your offended friend that some types of depression will cause mood fluctuations, that you value the relationship, and to please not take it personally.

I also think it would be helpful to be a good listener, and try to see your words and actions from their perspective; how it affects them and makes them feel.

My moods are not bi-polar in nature. They tend to stay at a certain level for significant periods of time, so in that sense are easier to manage. I certainly haven’t mastered it, but it is really helpful for me to recognize and accept that I have unwanted thoughts and want to react to life’s stimuli in negative ways sometimes. Then, just let them go on their way without reacting. In other words, say/do what is right and best for the situation, take a deep breath, and wait for the next opportunity to work on learning thought control. That puts YOU in charge. And remember, we cannot be responsible for the things others say and do; they own their behavior.

Hope it goes better for you soon. I am happy for you that you are taking steps to better your situation in life. You have a lot to offer.

i've been downish today, especially this morning, still went out for a few hours with relatives, it really tired me but i still also enjoy it. Feeling lowish now at the end of day, very tired and drained. Still the evening to go with the relatives and tomorrow, Thursday morning early they be on their way to New Zealand for the last part of their 6 week holiday. It was good catching up again for sure.