How do I not let my good be evil spoken of??

baptistgirl21 · Nov 17, 2018

I get bullied all the time by family and friends who claim to be Christian. They always quote Romans 14:16 and yet they're the one's doing the bullying. They make excuses for their behavior by blaming me. They bully me because I wear blue lipstick and they don't like it at all so they call me a prostitute and all kinds of bad names. They say I shouldn't wear it because the bible says "Let not your good be evil spoken of" and people will think I'm evil or dangerous.
They all the time encourage me to worry about what people thinks of me when I'm trying not to. My therapist is helping me overcome my anxiety and says I shouldn't worry about what people think but my family goes dead against it! My mom threatens to call the therapist to tell her how it is. I'm an adult, I don't need my mother calling my therapist and yelling at her. She's helped me more than my mom has ever helped me in my entire life.
Anyways, I do realize the bible says not to let your good be evil spoken of but how can I do that when people are going to talk anyways? I can't just force someone to not talk about me. Someone could be talking bad about me while I'm sleeping. I have no control over peoples mind. Can someone please explain this to me? Thanks!

WESTOZZIE · Nov 17, 2018

Your therapist is right.....try not to worry about what other people say....and you are correct...people are free to say whatever about us..The Bible also says we should not judge anyone according to outward appearance...

John 7:24 Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment.

Righteous judgement is from an attitude of love and sees and respects others as if they are Christ Himself.

Another thing people do and then use Scripture to justify it is to say nasty "true" things about you and then claim they are "speaking the truth in love" to you. Eph 4:15 But the truth Paul is speaking of here is encouraging each other by reminding one another of who we are in Christ. This is why he exhorts us to only speak words to one another that will edify and build us up...
Eph 4:29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.
Calling you names because of outward appearance comes out from a legalistic attitude to the Lord. The thinking is that if I look "right" on the outside then I am righteous and holy.....What about the heart?! Jesus loves you sister....All you can do is practice forgiving your family and ask God to surround you with people who walk in the grace and love of Jesus.

paul1149 · Nov 17, 2018

Basically, the passage speaks of a balance. Those doing the judging ought to stop. But those who provoke needlessly ought to stop that as well. Everyone ought to be walking in love, trying to help the others in Christ.

How that applies, I think you will have to seek God's wisdom on (James 3). Blue lipstick seems a silly thing to argue over. Things like that often point to deeper unresolved relational issues.

There's a time to stand on your freedom in Christ, and there's a time to surrender your rights for the good of others. The way I see it, I would not surrender my rights because of the prejudice of others, because that is something they need to get over for their own good. But if my freedom was genuinely stumbling someone - say, my right to have a drink was tempting someone with a weakness to alcohol - then I definitely would consider giving up that right.

You will have to decide the genuineness of their complaints, prayerfully, and then act according to your conscience in Christ.

SkyWriting · Nov 17, 2018

baptistgirl21 said:
I get bullied all the time by family and friends who claim to be Christian. They always quote Romans 14:16 and yet they're the one's doing the bullying. They make excuses for their behavior by blaming me. They bully me because I wear blue lipstick and they don't like it at all so they call me a prostitute and all kinds of bad names. They say I shouldn't wear it because the bible says "Let not your good be evil spoken of" and people will think I'm evil or dangerous.
They all the time encourage me to worry about what people thinks of me when I'm trying not to. My therapist is helping me overcome my anxiety and says I shouldn't worry about what people think but my family goes dead against it! My mom threatens to call the therapist to tell her how it is. I'm an adult, I don't need my mother calling my therapist and yelling at her. She's helped me more than my mom has ever helped me in my entire life.
Anyways, I do realize the bible says not to let your good be evil spoken of but how can I do that when people are going to talk anyways? I can't just force someone to not talk about me. Someone could be talking bad about me while I'm sleeping. I have no control over peoples mind. Can someone please explain this to me? Thanks!

What the passage is saying is that if you feel God wants you to wear blue lipstick, and you are doing it for God, then stop wearing blue lipstick around them.

Don't do things for God that annoys others, if it is something you can stop doing and gain peace from it. You can always switch back when they aren't around. They will be impressed that you change your personal style for them in time.

longwait · Nov 17, 2018

baptistgirl21 said:
I get bullied all the time by family and friends who claim to be Christian. They always quote Romans 14:16 and yet they're the one's doing the bullying. They make excuses for their behavior by blaming me. They bully me because I wear blue lipstick and they don't like it at all so they call me a prostitute and all kinds of bad names. They say I shouldn't wear it because the bible says "Let not your good be evil spoken of" and people will think I'm evil or dangerous.
They all the time encourage me to worry about what people thinks of me when I'm trying not to. My therapist is helping me overcome my anxiety and says I shouldn't worry about what people think but my family goes dead against it! My mom threatens to call the therapist to tell her how it is. I'm an adult, I don't need my mother calling my therapist and yelling at her. She's helped me more than my mom has ever helped me in my entire life.
Anyways, I do realize the bible says not to let your good be evil spoken of but how can I do that when people are going to talk anyways? I can't just force someone to not talk about me. Someone could be talking bad about me while I'm sleeping. I have no control over peoples mind. Can someone please explain this to me? Thanks!

That's just how it is in this world and this life. Some people will never stop slandering us even if we throw ourselves into the flames for them. We will have to find ways and means to deal with it.

Tolworth John · Nov 17, 2018

baptistgirl21 said:
hey call me a prostitute and all kinds of bad names.

May I suggest that you talk to them one to one, just you and one other and ask why do you call me such horrid names?
Ask how they understand Gal 5:15 If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
and
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control.

Challenge there actions.

Willing-heart · Nov 17, 2018

If there is one message that comes loud and clear from Romans 14, it is this. The apostle Paul is saying, “Believers in Jesus Christ, for God sake, major on the majors, focus on what is important to God and to His kingdom. Don’t waste time and energy on things that are not necessary for salvation. Stop your petty argument over things which are not about the gospel. Cease and decease from creating mountains out of molehills from things that have nothing to do with righteousness and holiness. Life is too short to waste on the superficial and the superfluous.”

There are some people who still think and judge other Christians by the clothes they wear, or the type of music they like to listen too, or the style of worship they prefer, or the length of their dress, hair and all the rest of it. But, none of these things matter because ultimately the church belongs to Christ Jesus and we are to love everyone and major on the major, not on the minor. In Romans 14:16-17, Paul said, “Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating or drinking but of righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.”

I’ve never yet met a person with a critical spirit who is a joyful person. Thomas De Witt Talmage once said, “Without exception, people who have the greatest number of faults are themselves the most merciless in their criticism of others.” In another quote, someone else said, “Christians are so narrow-minded that they can look through a keyhole with both eyes.” I don’t know about you, but I think I’ve been guilty of that sometimes when I major on the minor.

I take no pleasure in being criticized, opposed or attacked- but Jesus takes pleasure in us when we endure persecution for his sake. Like the great apostle Paul, our commitment should always be to pleasing God above all else. And for this reason, was why:

Festus, the Roman procurator of Judea, called the apostle Paul a mad man.
The pope said of Martin Luther that he ought to be in an insane asylum (Bedlam).
The Roman emperor Julian the Apostate called Bishop Athanasius an “enemy of gods, wicked, and a clever rascal.”
John Wesley was beaten and robbed by a street mob and ridiculed in the press because he preached the gospel of Jesus Christ.
William Booth, the founder of the Salvation Army, was ridiculed and called insane, and the people who joined the movement were attacked and beaten.

In the essential, unity; in the non-essential, liberty; in all things, charity.

Repudiating Legalism

SkyWriting · Nov 18, 2018

baptistgirl21 said:
I get bullied all the time by family and friends who claim to be Christian.

Go make a new family. You don't need those people.

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How do I not let my good be evil spoken of??

baptistgirl21

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WESTOZZIE

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paul1149

that your faith might rest in the power of God

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SkyWriting

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longwait

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Tolworth John

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Willing-heart

In Christ Alone.

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SkyWriting

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