The origin of this custom began long ago, when the deceased was not placed in a casket, but rather the body was prepared, washed, and wrapped in a burial shroud, or for a male, in his
(prayer shawl). Then the body would be placed in the ground, covered with dirt and then large stones would be placed atop the gravesite, preventing wild animals from digging up the remains.
The stones roughly from a pebble size to golf ball size might be obtained by the visitor beforehand from someplace of significance to the visitor or sometimes even provided by the cemetery itself (particularly during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur). All of the following eight possibilities either individually or in multiplicity at one time or another were the emotional and logical reasoning that at some future time the body is resurrected (Matthew 27:52-53) ...
(1) Depending upon your interpretation and beliefs, the Talmud (the written compendium of Jewish oral tradition) can suggest that t
he human soul remains in the grave with the body after death -- possibly for a few days, a week, a year, or until the final resurrection and judgment. Thus, mourners might have originally placed stones on the graves of loved ones in order to prevent souls from leaving their burial spots.
(2) Whereas the previous explanation was intended to keep something in, another theory suggests that people wanted to keep something
out.
Placing pebbles and rocks on Jewish graves might have prevented evil spirits and demons from entering burial sites and taking possession of human souls, according to superstition.
(3) The Bible relates the story of
God commanding Joshua to create a memorial in Jordan comprising 12 stones that would represent the "children of Israel for ever." Thus, this symbolic stone representation of the people of Israel might have been echoed later in the practice of leaving pebbles and rocks on the headstones of the dead.
(4) A nomadic people, visitors to Jewish gravesites
might have originally left stones to denote their visit and pay homage to the deceased simply because flowers and plants were not available. Because of the arid conditions prevalent in rocky or desert regions, visitors might have been forced to use whatever materials were at hand.
(5) Along those same lines, burying the deceased in rocky or desert areas often resulted in shallow graves that required covering the deceased with stones and rocks in order to complete the burial and/or to prevent predation. (Heaps of stone like this gave rise to the modern English word "
cairn.") Thus, it is entirely possible that the use of visitor stones on Jewish graves resulted from the practice of
"tidying up" gravesites by adding/replacing rocks and stones in order to maintain a burial spot.
(6) Stones—particularly pebbles—were often used in ancient times as a method of counting, including by shepherds trying to keep track of their flocks, who would keep the appropriate number of stones in a pouch/sling or strung on a string. Therefore, the ancient Judaic practice of leaving a visiting stone on the headstone or gravesite of a deceased loved one might have evolved from a simple system of
counting the number of visitors the deceased received.
(7) Another theory suggests that Jewish priests could become ritually impure by contacting a deceased individual—whether directly or by proximity. By using stones and rocks to mark a gravesite, therefore,
visitor stones could have served as a warning to Jewish priests not to approach too closely.
(8) Perhaps the most profound (possible) origin of the custom of placing pebbles, stones and small rocks on Jewish graves involves the fact that flowers, plants, foodstuffs and other organic materials quickly wither or decompose, evoking the transitory nature of life. On the other hand, a pebble, stone or rock symbolizes the lasting permanence and legacy of the deceased in the hearts and minds of survivors. This might explain the adoption of leaving visitor stones on tombstones and gravesites by those outside of the Jewish faith, who view this tradition as
an effective method of affirming their emotional and spiritual bond with a loved one despite their separation by death.
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