- Nov 10, 2017
- 69
- 44
- 44
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
Sometimes when my wife and I have arguments she brings up things that my pastor or my pastor's wife said about me to strengthen her argument. These things get under my skin more than the argument itself because the pastor or pastor's wife did not tell me these things directly. This issue has been going on for about a year. For example my wife said that the pastor said I am "rigid" or "militant" about my faith and the pastor's wife said I "take church too seriously". My wife tries to downplay these things because she works on the church staff and I am not privy to all the internal conversations and context in which any comments were made so she says I should not be so worked up. This issue really bothers me and yesterday after she told me what the pastor's wife said, I told her I am considering possibly finding a new church. I am really just hurt that these things are not being directed to me and also the way my wife is using it as ammo during arguments hurts although I do consider the feedback as possibly constructive. Am I being irrational? Should I just overlook this? Any advice is appreciated.
Edit: Here's the context of the things that were said by the pastor and his wife:
My wife had a meeting with the pastor where they were discussing the children's ministry program and he was asking her how she's doing spiritually, how marriage is going, i.e. normal pastoral stuff. My wife brought up explained an issue we had when I wanted her to pray with me more often but she resisted it because she wanted prayer to be more spontaneous and my way was too routine and structured. He then made the comment perhaps in empathy that I could be seen as "rigid" and "militant" with my faith.
In regards to the other comment from the pastor's wife, they had a prophet prophesy over the church staff and their spouses. He said to me, among other things, that I could grow if I allowed "church to be fun". The next day they had a group debriefing (without me there), and she said that this prophecy makes a lot of sense for me because "I take church too seriously" .
Edit: Here's the context of the things that were said by the pastor and his wife:
My wife had a meeting with the pastor where they were discussing the children's ministry program and he was asking her how she's doing spiritually, how marriage is going, i.e. normal pastoral stuff. My wife brought up explained an issue we had when I wanted her to pray with me more often but she resisted it because she wanted prayer to be more spontaneous and my way was too routine and structured. He then made the comment perhaps in empathy that I could be seen as "rigid" and "militant" with my faith.
In regards to the other comment from the pastor's wife, they had a prophet prophesy over the church staff and their spouses. He said to me, among other things, that I could grow if I allowed "church to be fun". The next day they had a group debriefing (without me there), and she said that this prophecy makes a lot of sense for me because "I take church too seriously" .
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