I've been having an extremely difficult time lately. My faith has been slipping. And that seems small compared to everything else.
I broke my foot. I sprained my opposite ankle 2 days before the appt for my foot. I woke up blind in one eye all over the course of a week. That was the end of August.
My vision has been here for a week and gone for two- a never-ending nerve-wrecking process.
When my vision went again last Tues, I hit my broken foot head on on our staircase. The clumsiness is something that doesn't stop because as soon as my mind adjusts to seeing or not seeing the vision comes or goes again.
When I hit that foot I messed up my achilles tendon and my doc said I literally sprained every ligament in my foot and ankle. He had to put emphasis on the literally because at this point all I could do to survive was laugh.
I'm 19 by the way. I can't see. I can't walk. And I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last month. I feel like a 90 year old woman. My grandma who has a bad back has been pushing me around in a wheel chair and its so frustrating.
Okay this post is getting off topic.
My faith is almost gone. What little bit that is left has been coming and going at the snap of the moment. I used to be a VERY strong Christian. One of the elders in my (at the time) church told me that I was "the closest to God she had ever seen." I was 12. I was a leader in the church from age 15, my experience ranging from student and special needs ministry to crisis counseling and preaching. I'm 19 and I have all of this experience and all of this knowledge.
I've told people for years that everything in life is a choice. its all about perspective. All you have to do is believe to receive. And these thing are all VERY true.
But right now I can't find my way back. And I can't believe I'm saying this, but this time... this time I need help.
Please help me.
Dear sister I prayed for you and for recovery and healing. It is at our lowest moments the greatest happens. It is a time when we hit rock bottom that is the place to be on the Rock.
Praise Him! Tell Jesus how much you love and trust Him no matter the situation.
Rejoice in His creation. Rejoice in His salvation. Rejoice in knowing the Father spared not His Beloved Son in Whom He is well pleased, and that was done for us. Praise Him and rejoice in His coming for His saints when He will be our King in Glory. Praise Him.
Praise God He is using you to help special needs children. Oh sister our King in Heaven rejoice at these works which are the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
You are being pruned and forged to be stronger than you are now if that could be possible. He is preparing you for more fruit.
You are a tenacious young lady and I would be proud to be your father or uncle. You hang in there help is certainly on the way so keep strong in the faith of your youth. Hug the cross of Christ get those splinters in your hands as you gaze on the empty tomb knowing your King wore a crown of thorns but is now seated in Glory risen and glorified and he promises that we too will be like Him. He is faithful and true and keeps all His promises.
It all starts by praising Him and rejoicing in His Finished Work.
Let us also remember the people of great faith as shown in Hebrews 11:
The Triumphs of Faith
1Now faith is the assurance of
things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
2For by it the men of old gained approval.
3By faith we understand that the worlds were prepared by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible.
4By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks.
5By faith Enoch was taken up so that he would not see death; AND HE WAS NOT FOUND BECAUSE GOD TOOK HIM UP; for he obtained the witness that before his being taken up he was pleasing to God.
6And without faith it is impossible to please
Him,for he who comes to God must believe that He is and
that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
7By faith Noah, being warned
by God about things not yet seen, in reverence prepared an ark for the salvation of his household, by which he condemned the world, and became an heir of the righteousness which is according to faith.
8By faith Abraham, when he was called, obeyed by going out to a place which he was to receive for an inheritance; and he went out, not knowing where he was going.
9By faith he lived as an alien in the land of promise, as in a foreign
land, dwelling in tents with Isaac and Jacob, fellow heirs of the same promise;
10for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.
11By faith even Sarah herself received ability to conceive, even beyond the proper time of life, since she considered Him faithful who had promised.
12Therefore there was born even of one man, and him as good as dead at that,
as many descendants AS THE STARS OF HEAVEN IN NUMBER, AND INNUMERABLE AS THE SAND WHICH IS BY THE SEASHORE.
13All these died in faith, without receiving the promises, but having seen them and having welcomed them from a distance, and having confessed that they were strangers and exiles on the earth.
14For those who say such things make it clear that they are seeking a country of their own.
15And indeed if they had been thinking of that
country from which they went out, they would have had opportunity to return.
16But as it is, they desire a better
country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.
17By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac, and he who had received the promises was offering up his only begotten
son; 18it was he to whom it was said, “IN ISAAC YOUR DESCENDANTS SHALL BE CALLED.”
19He considered that God is able to raise
people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.
20By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau, even regarding things to come.
21By faith Jacob, as he was dying, blessed each of the sons of Joseph, and worshiped,
leaning on the top of his staff.
22By faith Joseph, when he was dying, made mention of the exodus of the sons of Israel, and gave orders concerning his bones.
23By faith Moses, when he was born, was hidden for three months by his parents, because they saw he was a beautiful child; and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.
24By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter,
25choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,
26considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward.
27By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king; for he endured, as seeing Him who is unseen.
28By faith he kept the Passover and the sprinkling of the blood, so that he who destroyed the firstborn would not touch them.
29By faith they passed through the Red Sea as though
they were passing through dry land; and the Egyptians, when they attempted it, were drowned.
30By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.
31By faith Rahab the harlot did not perish along with those who were disobedient, after she had welcomed the spies in peace.
32And what more shall I say? For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets,
33who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed
acts ofrighteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions,
34quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight.
35Women received
back their dead by resurrection; and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection;
36and others experienced mockings and scourgings, yes, also chains and imprisonment.
37They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were tempted, they were put to death with the sword; they went about in sheepskins, in goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, ill-treated
38(
men of whom the world was not worthy), wandering in deserts and mountains and caves and holes in the ground.
39And all these, having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised,
40because God had provided something better for us, so that apart from us they would not be made perfect.