Do have control on how we feel?

dysert · Oct 19, 2018

Dave-W said:
That you are immature and need to grow up.

Ah, well that's me anyway. No problem

durangodawood · Oct 19, 2018

dysert said:
That sounds crazy. So they teach that if you get a virus and are sick, or inherit some genetic disease that it's your fault? If you don't have "control over every area of life", what are the implications?

Shame and guilt.

Foxfyre · Oct 19, 2018

Phoebe Ann said:
I think there are times when sadness surfaces. I try to think of reasons to be happy. In fact I pray about it. It helps to realize things could be worse.

We have to keep focusing on our blessings.

Philippians 4
4 Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice. 5 Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. 9 Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

If I'm having trouble with re-occurring thoughts, I can do something to take my mind off of them.

The worst thing someone can say is, "Snap out of it!" That is a critical attitude. True friends try to be helpful instead.

Or in other words, we can't change the way we feel, but if we allow it, God can.

What we can do though is an intentional attitude adjustment choosing not to act or dwell on our negative feelings and really really enjoying the good ones.

I can't count the time when somebody--say on line here at Christian Forums or on some other forum--was so insulting and cruel and hurtful that I just wanted to walk away and not participate any further. Though it hasn't happened (yet) at Christian Forums, especially I respond that way if I feel I was unfairly or unjustly chastised by a moderator.

But if I just go on about my business as if that incident never occurred, behave as I have always behaved, and act as if it never happened, it is no time at all that those negative feelings are gone. I still regard the incident as unfair or unjust or whatever, but it no longer has any power to disturb my enjoyment of participating in the forum.

Going through the right motions can result in the right emotions. In many ways the Bible suggests that even if it doesn't put it in those exact words. I think it easier to do for Christians though. God does work in mysterious ways.

zephcom · Oct 19, 2018

Introverted1293 said:
You hear people say all the time that they can't help it. They can't help how they feel. They say this when they fall in love with someone, even when it is forbidden. Or when they feel hatred towards someone.

So, like I asked, is it possible that we do have control how we feel? I am taking a communications class in college, and according to the text book, we are in control on how we feel. But sometimes it does not feel like we control how we feel.

I'm going to side with the text book. I do that only because I really think I do control how I feel. Sometimes I have to work at it, but it is still doable.

With that said, I'm not sure that other people have spent much time thinking about that. Or have others spent much time trying to do that. It is far easier to to just say, "I can't help it."

Soyeong · Oct 19, 2018

Introverted1293 said:
You hear people say all the time that they can't help it. They can't help how they feel. They say this when they fall in love with someone, even when it is forbidden. Or when they feel hatred towards someone.

So, like I asked, is it possible that we do have control how we feel? I am taking a communications class in college, and according to the text book, we are in control on how we feel. But sometimes it does not feel like we control how we feel.

Many people often feel things that they don't want to feel and would feel differently if they had a choice. When we react to something that happens, we don't consciously choose how we are going to feel, we just are feeling something, and while what we feel can influence our actions, we we can choose who we are going to act in spite of how we feel. Furthermore, while our environment influences how we feel, we can we in turn choose to some extent what environment we want to live in and we can influence that environment. For example, children in a classroom with grey walls feel differently than children in a classroom with colorful walls and designs.

Robert65 · Oct 19, 2018

Introverted1293 said:
You hear people say all the time that they can't help it. They can't help how they feel. They say this when they fall in love with someone, even when it is forbidden. Or when they feel hatred towards someone.

So, like I asked, is it possible that we do have control how we feel? I am taking a communications class in college, and according to the text book, we are in control on how we feel. But sometimes it does not feel like we control how we feel.

One either knows thyself else one is a slave to their emotions. Take anger for example. Anger is a function of our not getting our way and generally caused by having unrealistic boundaries and associated expectations. Many see the world through the lens of how they think it ought to be which is a path to misery. When our expectations of how things ought to be clash with how things are this can cause dissonance such as anger. The wise do their best to see the world as it objectively exists. This argument is in the absence of harm as there are situations where anger is more appropriate like a loved one being murdered but even then it is wise to maintain a realistic perspective as opposed to diving down the rabbit hole of prolonged festering anger.

Be introspective and come to know thyself. Feelings are telling us something and can act as a warning that something is wrong. If one does not understand how to analyze their feelings and take corrective action then the feeling takes control and we are just along for the ride. Those who have a measure of control over their emotions are those who have taken the time to know thyself and thus can quickly come to understand what the problem is and implement a effective solution. I do this through introspection supplemented by the study of philosophy, sociology and psychology, others use religion to the same effect. Once one knows why they feel the way they do and have found ways to mitigate negative emotions then one will have a much more emotionally stable life. I could write so much more on this topic but hopefully this is enough to be food for thought.

Robert65 · Oct 19, 2018

Mountainmanbob said:
A man is what he thinketh.

Works best when we are concentrating on God.

M-Bob

"A man is what he thinketh." So true.

stevenfrancis · Oct 23, 2018

Introverted1293 said:
You hear people say all the time that they can't help it. They can't help how they feel. They say this when they fall in love with someone, even when it is forbidden. Or when they feel hatred towards someone.

So, like I asked, is it possible that we do have control how we feel? I am taking a communications class in college, and according to the text book, we are in control on how we feel. But sometimes it does not feel like we control how we feel.

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Do have control on how we feel?

dysert

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