My husband and I have attended the same church since we moved here after graduating college. It's not only our spiritual home, but many of our friends attend as well. Amyway, we had the same pastor until last Spring when he got a job offer he couldn't refuse. It did not take us too long to find a new one and he's been...ok. He's a great speaker, but sometimes gets a bit too political ( he's never formally endorsed anyone or any policy from the pulpit). Yesterday, he preached the most disturbing sermon I have ever heard...
We have been going through a series on the ten commandments, and yesterday was on lying/bearing false witness. Instead of the focus of the sermon being about the lies we tell everyday and all, his focus was about how this is becoming not only the norm, but celebrated in our society. He then went on for about 20 minutes about the sexual assault and rape accusations women are making against "nobel men like Brett Kavanaugh to smear their reputations and upheave the Biblical value of male headship." He then said at another point "the #metoo movement celebrates and encourages lying." The most disturbing part about all of this was at the end when he said "moral, modest, Christian women do not have to be concerned about being raped. I was appalled! I spent the entire time squirming in my seat, and almost walked out. I looked around to see if anyone did, and nobody did. My best friend was raped in college, I could think of nothing yesterday other than the memories of coming home to her crying.
After church, we went to lunch as we always do with our friends. I asked the other the women if they were just as appalled, we've all received at least persistant unwanted attention from men. Their response indicated otherwise, though one texted me afterward saying she understood and got where I was coming from but "It was a challenging sermon to women, but remember God heals scars and it's our duty to trust and submit." I talked to my husband about it when we got home and while he was sympathetic at first, my best friend came up (he was there) and he said "Well, she's not entirely innocent, she had been drinking and wearing a revealing outfit." I couldn't believe it! I've known him and we've been together since high school, and he's incredibly respectful. He did apologize later and said his "guy brain" just took over for a second, and volunteered to sleep on the couch to give me space.
I emailed my church elders my concerns. One just replied "Thank you for your telling us your concerns." Another replied, "A good sermon is supposed to make us feel uncomfortable," and "Perhaps God was convicting me for something in my past, and I was misunderstanding. I should talk to my husband, it's his duty to spiritually guide me." I don't know what to do or where to go anymore. I don't feel comfortable or even safe going to my church knowing those are my pastor's views, and everyone so far is defending him.
We have been going through a series on the ten commandments, and yesterday was on lying/bearing false witness. Instead of the focus of the sermon being about the lies we tell everyday and all, his focus was about how this is becoming not only the norm, but celebrated in our society. He then went on for about 20 minutes about the sexual assault and rape accusations women are making against "nobel men like Brett Kavanaugh to smear their reputations and upheave the Biblical value of male headship." He then said at another point "the #metoo movement celebrates and encourages lying." The most disturbing part about all of this was at the end when he said "moral, modest, Christian women do not have to be concerned about being raped. I was appalled! I spent the entire time squirming in my seat, and almost walked out. I looked around to see if anyone did, and nobody did. My best friend was raped in college, I could think of nothing yesterday other than the memories of coming home to her crying.
After church, we went to lunch as we always do with our friends. I asked the other the women if they were just as appalled, we've all received at least persistant unwanted attention from men. Their response indicated otherwise, though one texted me afterward saying she understood and got where I was coming from but "It was a challenging sermon to women, but remember God heals scars and it's our duty to trust and submit." I talked to my husband about it when we got home and while he was sympathetic at first, my best friend came up (he was there) and he said "Well, she's not entirely innocent, she had been drinking and wearing a revealing outfit." I couldn't believe it! I've known him and we've been together since high school, and he's incredibly respectful. He did apologize later and said his "guy brain" just took over for a second, and volunteered to sleep on the couch to give me space.
I emailed my church elders my concerns. One just replied "Thank you for your telling us your concerns." Another replied, "A good sermon is supposed to make us feel uncomfortable," and "Perhaps God was convicting me for something in my past, and I was misunderstanding. I should talk to my husband, it's his duty to spiritually guide me." I don't know what to do or where to go anymore. I don't feel comfortable or even safe going to my church knowing those are my pastor's views, and everyone so far is defending him.
