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dusts

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Hello,
My mother has never seemed fond of me. She tells me I am worthless, has tried to push me out of moving cars, lies to me, tells others I am a bad person, blames every problem in our household & life on me, and never seems content with what I do. Today our pet died and she told me that it is my fault. She tells me that my father left because he never wanted anything to do with me (even though I know he loves me and I still see him every other weekend) and gets very angry at me very quickly, often very unpredictably. I have been grounded for crying and am ridiculed by her when I try to share my feelings about our relationship. I get all A's in school, have won national academic competitions, have been given scholarships, awards, and I always try my best to make her proud, but I never seem to find the ability to please her. The past week, she has been nicer to me than she ever has been. I have prayed and thanked God for this blessing and for the first time bringing me feelings of love through my mother. I think I have been disciplined by Him, though, for sinning, and she is now back to the blame, hatred, and anger that I am used to experiencing. I am wondering if her usual attitude could be discipline from God to me? What would cause Him to bring this upon me and is there anything I can do to bring back His blessings? Why would He punish me by taking it away? My mom goes to church; is there anything other than prayer that I can do to help our relationship through the Lord? I am grateful for the past week but do not look forward to again suffering through my time with her. Any scriptures I can look to would also be appreciated. Thank you ahead of time.
 
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CrystalDragon

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Given her previous behavior I'm pretty sure she needs mental help. I'm pretty sure some disorders have people being violent and rude a lot of the time and then suddenly be calm (I'm not a psychologist though so I don't know for certain). Either way you need to get some help for yourself to get out of the situation and for her to get some psychiatric help.
 
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High Fidelity

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Honestly I'd take this up with your Pastor.

We're told to honour our parents, but frankly, and I apologise if this appears rude, she's failing her Christian duty as a mother and that's a spiritual matter that should concern your Pastor.

Any advice we give can only really be communicated by you and it sounds as though she needs to hear it from someone else.

Is she a Christian? Does she usually take her faith seriously? If she does then she will hopefully accept wrongdoing and change when she's addressed by the Pastor about it.
 
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LaSorcia

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Hugs to you, dusts. It sounds like your mom has some emotional issues going on. Believe me, God is not punishing you through others. He LOVES you. Yes, he wants you to be good and grow, but he never punishes. 1 John 4:18

How old are you, may I ask? you write like you are mature.

Keep praying, it's good. Do what you can to trust God to take care of you while your family is unable to meet your emotional needs.

And welcome to CF, I'm so glad to meet you.
 
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Godcrazy

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I went through the same. Its hard to explain because if you haven't, people won't understand as there is a stigma that it's taboo that mothers can be like this. But they can.
Look up narcissism That's what it's about .And if you are really unlucky, it's called psychopath. Antisocial personality disorder.
But more than likely narcissist .
You can find plenty of information online and how to defend yourself and why they became like that.
It's not about you. It never was.
They are damaged.
They have a very fragile self that stranded on a toddler emotionally. It's too late for them.
Narcissism ranges from a few trait to full blown narcissistic disorder as it's called
If just a few traits they might be better with therapy. But you see they believe they're not wrong but everyone else are Why because their sense of self is so fragile that any perceived slight breaks their self to pieces. They stop exist That's why they lash out.
See www.daughtersofnarcisisticmothers.con
This is not about you or what you have done, or that you aren't enough .
I know it's the only thing you have but don't try to earn her love as noone and nothing is ever going to be enough. Same, don't go the other way and think you're worthless. You're not. Noone else would treat you this way right Exactly. It's not you. You were just unlucky about your mother
I have been there.
My mother is the same.
Please don't ever share anything sensitive with your mother as she will use it against you.
If you want to talk to me, please pm me.
Check out ollie Matthews on YouTube
God see you as his worthy, perfect daughter. Just the way you are.
 
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Godcrazy

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The most sad thing is if we are not married, and if we have not much friends ,we end up being alone because of them. But on the other hand, it's up to us to form new things or activities. Remember one woman in the bible, she helped the poor and those in need and the father less, and was very much loved and wanted. Remember that when it is the worse. Plus you can be and do anything in the world. You can have a very exciting life. So it's not the end .use it to God's advantage.
I've accepted that they are like they are. That nothing can change them. They are old now. And my siblings have taken after her and become just as cold. But we have God.
Stay close to him.
Fill your life with new friends and activities, fight for God. Be his tool. Help others.
 
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