Prayers needed

wesf · Oct 1, 2018

I have drifted from God. I once could worship, I had joy and I had personal freedom. Over the last several years, life circumstances have brought me down. I have a lot of anger and bitterness which has contributed to me finding myself where I am now. I am Pentecostal and my belief has not changed. However, I have become distant from God and very jaded towards the church (that I helped found). I had a son that passed away just over 2 years ago at the age of 3 due to a genetic disorder. I have a lot of hurt. I feel like I am totally alone in my loss (aside from my family). The other leaders in our church seem to not really care about the hurt I carry due to our tragedy. I have no one else to talk to that can really relate to what it is like as a father that has lost a child. people tell me that they are there if I need to talk but it does not seem sincere. In church I feel so bound that I no longer want to attend because I feel like the only reason that i am there is to work. I no longer find joy in being there. I'm not sure where to go from here. I just know God has to intervene. I feel my heart is turning to stone.

GodsGrace101 · Oct 1, 2018

My prayers are with you W.
Unhappily, actually no one does understand you. We all know that losing a child is the worst that can happen but unless one has gone through this, it's not understandable.
I have a granddaughter with autism and we experience the same as you are.

Be encouraged. God will not leave you, don't leave Him and a!low the evil one to have the victory.

Amen.

Undenied · Oct 1, 2018

God's beloved Son experienced hurt and death so your son and you can have eternal life.
I see many religious people living the church life, trying to fit a certain perfect picture. This will make people avoid you and your pain, as many want to dodge the fact that pain and trouble can be in a Christian's path. In other hand, this expectation of what a Christian should always feel puts pressure on you. You feel pressured to keep living your faith the way you once lived. You went through a major event in your life, there's no way to pass by this without living a huge change in your soul too. This will bring you closer to God. Even if now you feel numb. Don't fake your feelings and thoughts when you go to God. Seek God even in the silence you seem to be "hearing" from Him. Church can wait. Please, don't give up, don't be God's loss.

Solomon Smith · Oct 1, 2018

If things have gotten stale then maybe you should consider changing Churches and getting a fresh start.

Also, I would seek a Christian counselor whom you can talk about the death of your child with.

SWIll · Oct 1, 2018

Prayers brother.

Southernscotty · Oct 2, 2018

I am so sorry for your loss and it breaks my heart that you have went through this friend. Know without a doubt that the precious child that you lost will be in the presence of Jesus and have exuberant joy beyond measure.
You WILL be together again when God calls you home friend.
I know the hurt is weighing your heart down but God will turn that hurt into something good if you let him as you can now support others going through this same thing.
You have prayer going up for you right now and please feel free to private message me anytime.
God Bless
Scott

Ash8676 · Oct 2, 2018

Praying for you, that God sends someone that you can talk to about your loss and that you can feel God is by your side as you deal with what you are going through.

wesf · Oct 4, 2018

I can't change churches. I am a founding member of the church I attend and I am also in leadership. But most importantly, God has not released me to be able to go elsewhere.

Southernscotty · Oct 5, 2018

wesf said:
I can't change churches. I am a founding member of the church I attend and I am also in leadership. But most importantly, God has not released me to be able to go elsewhere.

I appreciate so much what you said here, It shows me that you pray before responding and that my friend is the correct response always :]
God may be doing a great work here and I pray that it is revealed to you friend

Greg Merrill · Oct 5, 2018

Father, life's circumstances, trials, horrors, afflictions and assaults, naturally cause us to look upon them as Peter looked upon the wind and waves, and took his eyes of Jesus. May this one take his eyes off the visible church and the mortal people in it, as valuable and loved by Christ as it is, and turn his eyes to You, locking them upon You, getting into Your Word and allowing it and Your Spirit to uphold him, not dependence on his own spirit, emotions, intellect, and strengths and abilities. May he lean upon You in complete trust, and seek Your closeness. May he walk in the spirit victoriously, and not in the natural flesh which always is inadequate and lets us down. Amen.

believerwithallmyheart · Oct 6, 2018

wesf said:
I have drifted from God. I once could worship, I had joy and I had personal freedom. Over the last several years, life circumstances have brought me down. I have a lot of anger and bitterness which has contributed to me finding myself where I am now. I am Pentecostal and my belief has not changed. However, I have become distant from God and very jaded towards the church (that I helped found). I had a son that passed away just over 2 years ago at the age of 3 due to a genetic disorder. I have a lot of hurt. I feel like I am totally alone in my loss (aside from my family). The other leaders in our church seem to not really care about the hurt I carry due to our tragedy. I have no one else to talk to that can really relate to what it is like as a father that has lost a child. people tell me that they are there if I need to talk but it does not seem sincere. In church I feel so bound that I no longer want to attend because I feel like the only reason that i am there is to work. I no longer find joy in being there. I'm not sure where to go from here. I just know God has to intervene. I feel my heart is turning to stone.

So sorry for your loss. Sometimes we don't understand why God has things turn out a certain way. I cannot even imagine how difficult it is with what you are going through. I will pray that you may rekindle your passion for God and that you start going to church again. I will also pray that God gives you guidance, wisdom and peace of mind in this extremely difficult time. Hang in there.

wesf · Oct 9, 2018

I have decided to resign my position as church clerk but retain my seat on the board of directors. I have not officially resigned at this point but plan to do so this week. I have total peace about the decision but I have concern about how it will be received by other leadership. I can compare myself to Martha in the passage below:
Luke 10:38-42 ...'Now it came to pass, as they went, that He entered into a certain village: and a certain women named Martha received Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus feet, and heard His word. But Martha was cumbered about with much serving, and came to Him and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things, but one thing is needful, and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.'
I have found that I have become so wrapped up in serving the church that I have become distant from the ONE I am supposed to be serving. I can't continue to compromise my spiritual walk by allowing serving to get in the way especially when I have never had a calling to do church finance.

Please pray that my resignation will be well received. If it is not well received then I feel like I will have to find another church I don't want to do.

LoricaLady · Oct 9, 2018

Well, if you were getting the comfort and support you want and need, you would not be feeling cold toward that Church. Remember that a Church is not the Lord, though. I pray you will get comfort and healing from HIM. No one else can really do that like Him, anyway.

Mydreams · Oct 11, 2018

Lord please bless wesf and this prayer. In Jesus Holy name, Amen!

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