My life and my memories are so out of the main stream. I may have to only tell them in small parts and much only to those with similar backgrounds could ever come near to understanding. My first memory is of laying in a room of blinding white light unable to move. I am aware of a presence standing by my left shoulder. It takes every ounce of my physical and mental strength to try to turn my body toward my left side to try to see who is there. As the figure is about to come into focus I hear in my mind not through my ears "If you see me you will die". I shut my eyes as tight as I can and yet continue to turn until I am facing the floor. For some reason I focus my mind on the thought " at least let me see your feet". Not having any warning response, I opened my eyes and I saw the bottom of what appeared to be a blinding white luminous robe of some type with glowing bronze colored feet. I remembered no more. How such a thing could even be my first memory puzzles me; and yet it is.This memory came back to me throughout my youth in my dreams and I always awoke in a cold sweat. It stopped when I became a teenager. G_d has saved my life so many times throughout my life from my childhood to now in my old age I have no explanation for why. Some people when I share how, get mad at me, demanding an answer to why G_d saved me and some loved one of theirs has died. I have no answers or explanations. That is why I hesitate to share much of my story as I don't want to hurt anyone and then some are beyond belief so much so if I heard someone tell such a story I would not believe it. I do know if it were not for G_d, Yeshua, (Jesus) and the Holy Spirit I would have never reached puberty.