Dating as a Christian

The Bible doesn't talk about that. I'd say you're free to do that, but be up front with your intentions.

I'd say dating/courting should be with the intent of ultimately marrying, and not just casual fun. That's just me. Peace in Christ.

mukk_in said:

I'd say dating/courting should be with the intent of ultimately marrying, and not just casual fun. That's just me. Peace in Christ.

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That was my thinking ,when I was in my 20's.But,the Christian women told me that I was "too serious". Therefore,that kind of thinking did not work.

exitstageright said:

That was my thinking ,when I was in my 20's.But,the Christian women told me that I was "too serious". Therefore,that kind of thinking did not work.

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I believe that your thinking is still correct my friend. Don't worry about those who don't subscribe to it. It's not what works here that matters, but what counts eternally. Peace in Christ.

it might seem tempting at first to do that kind of dating but something tells me that it could eventually lead to feelings of emptiness.

mukk_in said:

I believe that your thinking is still correct my friend. Don't worry about those who don't subscribe to it. It's not what works here that matters, but what counts eternally. Peace in Christ.

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But,I have no idea when eternity is going to start. If eternity starts during my life time,then everything is academic. But, what if Christ does not return for another 500 years? During the 1970's,my father,a Deacon,was totally convinced that Christ would return before the year 2000. My father passed away on December 15,1990. Now, we are not to be too concerned about the ways of the World. But,we are still living with ,and have to deal with the knuckle heads down here on Earth.

There are some things of this world that I do enjoy. And there is nothing wrong with that. For example, I love to cruise. In the Book of Revelation, it says, that,when Christ returns, "There will be no more sea". Therefore, if there will be no more sea, there will be no more water. If there is no more water ,there will be no more need for ships. Therefore, there will be no more cruise ships. So,logic dictates that I should do as much cruising as I can,while I am here on Earth.

nnnnn

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But, I live a pretty "full" and satisfied life. Eternity starts right now. In fact, as Paul and Jesus said, it's probably better not to date at all. Their lives weren't empty at all.

mukk_in said:

Everyone is entitled to their opinion. But, I live a pretty "full" and satisfied life. Eternity starts right now. In fact, as Paul and Jesus said, it's probably better not to date at all. Their lives weren't empty at all.

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Good for you! However,Paul was married at one time. Because, Paul, at one time ,was a Pharisee. And, one of the requirements of being a Pharisee is that one had to be married.

Now, of course, Jesus was single. But,Jesus was not any ordinary man.His mission or purpose in life was not to have a wife, and to have children. Jesus was also the Son of God. Jesus is also the King of Creation. Now tell me, would you want to have an intimate encounter with something that you created? I should think not.

Vobble said:

Hello everyone,

I've seen a bit of a similar thread in this forum. But I am wondering something slightly different.
I want to know if, as a Christian, it is okay to date, for the sake of dating, (meaning, by my own definition, go on dates with anyone - Christian or non-Christian) without the intent of relationship. For example, going on one date with a different person each week?

If you don't want a relationship/don't feel ready for a relationship, but do want to experience dating for fun, for conversation, to get out on the weekends etc... or for some form of physical connection (not sex), is it wrong to date in the aforementioned way?

Would like to know from a biblical perspective.

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In itself, it is 100% fine. It's called having friends. However, what is in both your hearts is what matters (consider it the preview of what actions you are going to be taking in the future). If you're like most people, you will need to be on your guard. As @Sketcher said, be communicative about your intentions, especially by the time when you want to give or receive affection. It should be obvious that affection (along with the acceptance and affirmation that accompanies it) can lead to powerful sexual feelings and desires—things that you may have trouble freezing the progress of. If that happens, IMO you may need to stop the affection. You may need to decide whether to stop seeing the person, or whether you both are on the marriage track. If the latter, then you both need to set and agree to physical and emotional boundaries with no exceptions. In that instance, consider every time you are together a test of how serious you are about God. You need him to make a long-term relationship work. Don't spoil those future blessings he wants to give you.

Being hurt by having to break up a relationship you don't want to break up is one reason people can become very careful and controlled about how they let a relationship progress. For example, kissing can escalate the physical part of your relationship faster than one or both of you are ready for (especially in the maturity of your commitment to each other). Also recognize that something that makes you feel really good can become addictive (where you start losing the will and power to resist).

mukk_in said:

In fact, as Paul and Jesus said, it's probably better not to date at all.

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Where does it say that???

Vobble said:

Hello everyone,

I've seen a bit of a similar thread in this forum. But I am wondering something slightly different.
I want to know if, as a Christian, it is okay to date, for the sake of dating, (meaning, by my own definition, go on dates with anyone - Christian or non-Christian) without the intent of relationship. For example, going on one date with a different person each week?

If you don't want a relationship/don't feel ready for a relationship, but do want to experience dating for fun, for conversation, to get out on the weekends etc... or for some form of physical connection (not sex), is it wrong to date in the aforementioned way?

Would like to know from a biblical perspective.

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As Sketcher said, the Bible is silent on dating. There are different reasons to date: looking for a mate; for companionship; for fun; to not be lonely on the weekends; to share things with; etc. I can only guess at this point, but if I were single, I'd probably date for fun until I got tired of it, and then I'd focus more on finding a mate. I think it's important, though, to be up-front with the folks you're dating - to let them know what your game plan is.

@mukk_in, @dysert, Paul's and Jesus' words must be taken in context.

The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. (Matthew 19:10-11, 1984 NIV)

However, remember God also said,

God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth.” (Genesis 1:22, 1984 NIV, also in Genesis 1:28)

Jesus' disciples were suggesting that it is better not to marry, in general, but Jesus said God has only made some people that way. Additionally, the disciples' question resulted because they had not really recognized the ramifications of what Jesus said.

Paul wrote down these memorable verses:

Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. (1 Corinthians 7:1, 1984 NIV)

I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. (1 Corinthians 7:7, 1984 NIV)

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. (1 Corinthians 7:25-26, 1984 NIV)

However, he also wrote:

But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. (1 Corinthians 7:2, 1984 NIV)

I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. (1 Corinthians 7:7, 1984 NIV)

Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. (1 Corinthians 7:25-26, 1984 NIV)

I think it depends on what you mean by 'dating'. If you are just meeting up with people as friends, then that is fine. Just be honest about your intentions and don't date one person consistently if you are just being 'friends'. Also, be careful with physical affection - it's very easy for this to spill over into more than friendship and once boundaries are blurred, the capacity for people to get hurt is high.

BTW, you may find a lot of men are fine with the issue of them meeting multiple women in this way, but they may not be very happy with you doing the same! So be prepared for some of them to get crabby with you when they find out you've been out with someone else or if they want to progress to being a couple and you don't.