Am I ashamed or just cowardly?

First things first: Don't rush to these kinds of conclusions. God likes to transform us, and sometimes, He likes to take His time; it makes the transition more comfortable for us.

As of now, I'd say that this is likely God's way of telling you to get out there & talk about the Gospel and your core beliefs, with someone else. That answer may not sound satisfying at first, but think about it: these feelings can be used for good, instead of just confusion! If you feel like you need somebody else to talk, get somebody else, and God can use that as time to bring you closer to some fellow Christians!

Are you perhaps worried about 'getting it wrong' when you are sharing the Gospel? It can be a subtle trick that the enemy uses to keep us quiet ' "oh, you won't be able to speak well and might put people off - much better to let a more experienced person do the talking." It's something I often struggle with, but I remind myself that it is the Holy Spirit who convicts, not me, and so I just go ahead (with lots of prayer) and trust that God can use even my stumbling words.

It's good to be able to share your faith when you are the only Christian (you may not always have a Christian with you when you have opportunity to do so, and don't want to miss any opportunities) but there is nothing wrong in working with another Christian. God sent Aaron with Moses when he went to speak to Pharaoh because Moses didn't want to go alone, so you're not the first to feel this way!

Sounds like you need to grow in boldness and articulating rebuttals.

The most convincing way to witness is by doing so at the level of the heart. This requires the greatest understanding of the Gospel since it communicates actual life experience in a way the other person can appreciate. As you share normal day to day
conversation, look for natural ways to express your faith. Start with smaller expressions and, with God's help, you will grow in the skill and confidence to share more.

royal priest said:

The most convincing way to witness is by doing so at the level of the heart. This requires the greatest understanding of the Gospel since it communicates actual life experience in a way the other person can appreciate. As you share normal day to day
conversation, look for natural ways to express your faith. Start with smaller expressions and, with God's help, you will grow in the skill and confidence to share more.

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I know an exemplary Christian lady that was converted through the subtle witness of a co-worker. The point of witness which affected her most was by how the Gospel had so happily influenced her co-workers marriage life.

Ashley755 said:

Okay, so this is the situation.

I would be okay with spreading the gospel and discussing all of my core beliefs (some of which might be offensive to many) if someone (another Christian) was right beside me, standing with me on the subject. (Also, I would prefer if they initiated the conversation) I have no trouble being associated with these things, but it would be terrifying to openly put them out there on my own. I’d be afraid of getting jumped on and I’m honestly the worst with criticism. I’d be afraid of taking ALL the beating. I guess it would just be easier not to be alone. I’m very shy with people. But does this make me ashamed? Or does it make me a coward? Is it somehow both? Please help me, guys.

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I have noticed that Christian take the words "Preach the Gospels to all nations" to mean they are supposed to be going around witnessing to everyone in sight.

Actually Messiah warned us to NOT cast what is holy to the dogs, and to NOT cast our pearls to the swine He said there was such a thing as demon seed, children of the devil, who would be burned up. If you witnessed to such a person you would at best waste your time Also, the Bible says "Rebuke a fool and he will hate you."

And here's the saddest part. He said most people would take the wide path to the pit and only a few would take the narrow path to eternal life. Again, why witness to the majority? Also, why worry about what other people are doing or saying? What matters, my dear, is what the Holy Spirit is telling YOU. Listen to Him. If He prompts you to witness do so prayerfully. Otherwise just let your life be your witness.

Ashley755 said:

Okay, so this is the situation.

I would be okay with spreading the gospel and discussing all of my core beliefs (some of which might be offensive to many) if someone (another Christian) was right beside me, standing with me on the subject. (Also, I would prefer if they initiated the conversation) I have no trouble being associated with these things, but it would be terrifying to openly put them out there on my own. I’d be afraid of getting jumped on and I’m honestly the worst with criticism. I’d be afraid of taking ALL the beating. I guess it would just be easier not to be alone. I’m very shy with people. But does this make me ashamed? Or does it make me a coward? Is it somehow both? Please help me, guys.

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maybe see a little from column a and some from column b.. how did you handle the criticism? if it made you made better find a cooping mechanism before you start, or these guys will eat your lunch. Most test you to see if you are a goodie goodie who wears their heart on their sleeve, if you are then they will send you home crying. If you can stand a critical exam then proceed on, because they all want deep questions answered and they want to make sure you are not going to turn tail when things get tough.. and some just want to see christian break

In truth it is hard, but that what courage is, it is doing the thing that scares us despite being scared.
So..
Start here on this website go to the non christian section and start answering questions as God gives you the ablity to do so. gain a understand of the nature of the question being asked then seek out live people.

I've been doing this a while and find non christians ask about 10 different question all other are a varient on them as there are many different ways or arguments against christianity most people will only bother to understand one of the 10 most popular.

Why doesn't God come down and show absolute proof
Why does bad things happen to good people or children
why does God hate ______ if he is all loving (Actually paradoxes are their own sub section)
Where was God when.... happened
Why can believers .... like the apostles..
Sin is not real/We are more moral than christians or moral dilemmas
Proof of God
What's the big deal about dying and coming back 3 days later
Why did anyone have to die why not just forgive all
how do you reconcile all the problems in the bible.

Gotquestions.org has answers for all of these, or study and learn to provide your own.

Ashley755 said:

Okay, so this is the situation.

I would be okay with spreading the gospel and discussing all of my core beliefs (some of which might be offensive to many) if someone (another Christian) was right beside me, standing with me on the subject. (Also, I would prefer if they initiated the conversation) I have no trouble being associated with these things, but it would be terrifying to openly put them out there on my own. I’d be afraid of getting jumped on and I’m honestly the worst with criticism. I’d be afraid of taking ALL the beating. I guess it would just be easier not to be alone. I’m very shy with people. But does this make me ashamed? Or does it make me a coward? Is it somehow both? Please help me, guys.

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I used to be like this, except that there was no hope I could evangelize like that, and so I got a multi-year full blown dose of self-condemnation. That was a mess, all because I didn't know in what ways I could trust God. (Having access to a God-made elder would have helped with many things.)

When God has prepared you to do something for him, you will have a peace about it. Sometimes you might feel as if you don't have the ability to do something you know God wants you to do, but with God's help you will be able to. In those situations, you just need to get started and you will find God carrying you. However, sometimes people find out something they need to do for God before they have that peace, in which case, they should pray about it until they have that peace. Sometimes that praying can go on quite a while. For example, some people that feel driven to preach eventually uncover the fact that God wants them to enroll in seminary rather than just start preaching.

Ashley755 said:

Okay, so this is the situation.

I would be okay with spreading the gospel and discussing all of my core beliefs (some of which might be offensive to many) if someone (another Christian) was right beside me, standing with me on the subject. (Also, I would prefer if they initiated the conversation) I have no trouble being associated with these things, but it would be terrifying to openly put them out there on my own. I’d be afraid of getting jumped on and I’m honestly the worst with criticism. I’d be afraid of taking ALL the beating. I guess it would just be easier not to be alone. I’m very shy with people. But does this make me ashamed? Or does it make me a coward? Is it somehow both? Please help me, guys.

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God created us each to be unique individuals. When we try to be someone else, we're likely to be uncomfortable and fail at it. The question is how has God created you to share with others what He has done in your life? I know some Christians who are comfortable in front of a crowd on a street corner preaching away. I know others for whom it's painful to talk in from of a half dozen other Christians in a small group. My wife is usually quiet in front of groups, but she makes people comfortable and they will just open up to her one on one and talk about the problems in their life. She often just quietly prays with them and shares a bit. Sharing the gospel is not always about running through a fixed presentation, confronting and arguing, and answering every question. Sometimes it can be about just listening, and then sharing about something God has done in our lives.

Often Christians get put on guilt trips to be like the greatest model of everything they think they see. I need to pray 3 to 4 hours per day to be like the best prayer warriors. I need to read the Bible through at least once per month. I need to be in some church or ministry activity daily. I need to do this or that because someone else does it and I'll be a bad Christian if I do not. It's possible to run ourselves into the ground trying to meet the expectations and guilt trips we put on ourselves and all the while missing who God created us to be.

Ashley755 said:

Okay, so this is the situation.

I would be okay with spreading the gospel and discussing all of my core beliefs (some of which might be offensive to many) if someone (another Christian) was right beside me, standing with me on the subject. (Also, I would prefer if they initiated the conversation) I have no trouble being associated with these things, but it would be terrifying to openly put them out there on my own. I’d be afraid of getting jumped on and I’m honestly the worst with criticism. I’d be afraid of taking ALL the beating. I guess it would just be easier not to be alone. I’m very shy with people. But does this make me ashamed? Or does it make me a coward? Is it somehow both? Please help me, guys.

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The answer to your reluctance to share your faith isn't to think of yourself as cowardly or ashamed of your relationship with God. The answer isn't to have other believers with you when you decide to share your faith with the lost, either. The single, best way to share Christ with others is to love him more than anything else. Let me explain: I have a good friend who plays golf - a lot. He plays over a hundred games a season, he spends thousands of dollars each year in various golf-related fees and equipment costs, and walks many miles chasing after a little white ball. Why does he do all these things? Well, of course, because he loves golf! I mean he REALLY loves it! So, guess what happens when we get together. Guess what he always ends up talking about. That's right: golf. This is natural, though. All of us talk about the thing(s) we love most. For some, that's their car, or girl/boyfriend, or hobby, or career, or family, or politics. The list of things people love and love to talk about is endless! So, too, for the Christian. The secret of speaking confidently and freely about Christ is to love him above everything else. When he consumes your heart, it will come out in what you have to say to others. You won't be able to help talking about him. Simple, eh?

I used to think that I had to have a snappy answer to every possible challenge to my faith that a lost person might level at me. Nonsense. I don't think that way about my relationship with my wife. I experience life with her every day of my life. If someone were to ask me how I knew my wife existed, I would burst out laughing, I think, and say, "Well, because I live with her! I have a daily experience of my wife!" I can say the very same thing about Christ, too. While some might want to tell me I'm just imagining interacting with him, if I truly am walking with him every day, such objections won't make me afraid or ashamed but amused. I know Jesus personally. He affects my living at every turn; denying him would be like denying the existence of my wife. I would never dream of doing the latter. Why would I dream of doing the former? I suppose, though, it all depends upon what sort of experience of Christ one is having.

Actually there is nothing wrong with your feelings. The Lord Sent the Apostles out by two. There is strength in numbers. As that strength grows, so does your confidence. Soon you'll find yourself speaking up when led to when you are one on one. The more you read the word, the more your faith will grow as well. Rest in Him, take refuge under His wing...He is always with you.

In Christ
Daniel

Ashley755 said:

I would be okay with spreading the gospel and discussing all of my core beliefs (some of which might be offensive to many) if someone (another Christian) was right beside me, standing with me on the subject. (Also, I would prefer if they initiated the conversation) I have no trouble being associated with these things, but it would be terrifying to openly put them out there on my own.

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I think we all go thru that stage at some point, with the possible exception of those people who have type Triple A personalities, the super extroverts. (but they have their own issues to deal with IMO)

I am more of a laid back type B personality, and your description would make you that as well. It is NOT a problem if God made you that way. Or even if you are that way from abuse or injury and God has not yet restored and healed you.