My heart is so hardened

eleos1954

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Do you think children are stupid? They are not. They sometimes ask questions no adults think of. But what is different? They believe and trust.

I did not say that I thought children were stupid ... nor did I say that God has something against intellect. so ... to make it very clear.

No I do not think children are stupid and no do I think God has anything against intellect.
 
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Kelvin Owens

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You are at a serious crossroad in your life and you need to follow God with all your heart. What most people do not understand that there is a penalty for the sins that we commit. Jesus gave us eternal life when we accepted Him as our Lord and Savior which is gift from God. This does not give us a pass to continue to sin and use grace as an excuse to do these things that we should not be indulging in. God gave us specific instructions to remember (keep) his statutes and commandments (even the least of these). Mat 19 17-19, Mat 5 17-19. We need to spend time with God each day, read the Bible, pray, and worship God. As we do this, we are changed from blessing to blessing and glory to glory and we strengthen our spirit man. There is a cleansing that takes place as we abide in Him (sanctification/consecration). We are made in the imagine and likeness of God. Right now your spirit man is weak as you have been operating in the flesh for so long. 1 John 2:15-16 You need to put of the flesh and feed your spirit with the Word. Develop the fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 Also, you are in need of deliverance from ungodly soul ties and generational curses. You can read up on how to do that on this forum or search for it on Youtube. We all have to workout our salvation which is a daily walk. Be blessed. I will be praying for you.
 
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Invalidusername

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Write these down because here is what I feel you need to do:

1)Realize that sin is when you do not love God, and when you do not love others as yourself. If what you are feeling guilty of, or "repenting of", is not doing something to others that you would not want done to you, then you're probably not even sinning, and your motivation is probably coming from an accusing spirit and not The Holy Spirit. But if you're hurting someone and you like it, then I wonder if you have ever even believed in Jesus as the Christ, for it would appear that you are not in his body.

2) Forgive anyone who has wronged you, realizing that they are as weak concerning sin as yourself, as are we all. This is what you would want done to you if you were them.

3) Do not dwell upon any thoughts that would form condemnation or disgust for any other people's sin, and definitely do not say with your mouth anything bad about others, particularly so as to condemn them for their sin. This is what you would want done to you if you were them.

4)Put some money in your pocket. Go out and find someone worse off than yourself such as a beggar. Look at them until you feel sorry for their lot in life, (Wait for the Spirit of God). Once you feel God's Spirit of empathy, go give the money to that person in that Spirit. This is what you would want done to you if you were them.

5) As you walk away, make sure that you thank God in Jesus Name for letting you know His Spirit. Continue thanking Him for it until you know that He knows that it is sincere. This is what you would want done to you if you were God.

6) If and when your guilt comes again and tries to make you feel bad for "being a sinner", ask that thought, who am I hurting? God will tell you and convict you, but an accusing spirit will not answer. Remember also the money you gave in God's Spirit, and remind yourself that Jesus said one act of Love covers a multitude of sins.

Be blessed in Jesus Name for there is no condemnation in Christ.

I've done everything on your list except give money to a homeless man. The Spirit still does not come. I feel no call from God. No promptings of the Holy Spirit. I am a void. It would've been better for me to never have known the ways of righteousness.
The fact that you are thinking about it, and are worried, means that it is impossible that he has left you. I was saved this summer, but my addictions still kept getting in the way. They were willing and I knew what I was doing. Thankfully I had a friend help me get back on track, some of my addictions stopped(not all but I'm still trusting in Him to get me out of them) and I am happy and joyful that I've stopped. My thoughts have been better, my faith is stronger, and I feel the Holy Spirit working inside me. My advice is to stay in the Word, pray, and get an accountability friend that will pick you up and encourage you when you fall. Also serving and giving is a way to feel joyful again.

You have the Holy Spirit prompting you still. That's good. Don't turn back.

I don't know exactly what you have done. My advice would be if you can "repay" what you have done wrong, do so and confess to God and if possible also to the person you wronged. Then move on, trust in God's mercy. He has not forsaken you! You wouldn't be here writing this if He had. So again, forget your own darkness, and trust in his shining mercy through the cross.

Too many things to count. I hope you are right but I have an empty heart. No call or promptings from God.
 
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Invalidusername

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You are at a serious crossroad in your life and you need to follow God with all your heart. What most people do not understand that there is a penalty for the sins that we commit. Jesus gave us eternal life when we accepted Him as our Lord and Savior which is gift from God. This does not give us a pass to continue to sin and use grace as an excuse to do these things that we should not be indulging in. God gave us specific instructions to remember (keep) his statutes and commandments (even the least of these). Mat 19 17-19, Mat 5 17-19. We need to spend time with God each day, read the Bible, pray, and worship God. As we do this, we are changed from blessing to blessing and glory to glory and we strengthen our spirit man. There is a cleansing that takes place as we abide in Him (sanctification/consecration). We are made in the imagine and likeness of God. Right now your spirit man is weak as you have been operating in the flesh for so long. 1 John 2:15-16 You need to put of the flesh and feed your spirit with the Word. Develop the fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22 Also, you are in need of deliverance from ungodly soul ties and generational curses. You can read up on how to do that on this forum or search for it on Youtube. We all have to workout our salvation which is a daily walk. Be blessed. I will be praying for you.

Thank you for your prayers. I don't know if I or God can fix my empty heart. I think God can revoke His gift of salvation to a child who is disobedient. It matches the parables Jesus says. I just wish God had been patient with me a bit longer. But then again He knows my stubbornness better than I do.
 
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childeye 2

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I've done everything on your list except give money to a homeless man. The Spirit still does not come. I feel no call from God. No promptings of the Holy Spirit. I am a void. It would've been better for me to never have known the ways of righteousness.
Yes well if you're not focused on someone else's sufferings and instead are focused on how you feel, then you're of course feeling empty. If you really want to feel God's Spirit, you
need to help someone else.
 
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Invalidusername

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Yes well if you're not focused on someone else's sufferings and instead are focused on how you feel, then you're of course feeling empty. If you really want to feel God's Spirit, you
need to help someone else.

I have. I even witnessed to a guy about my faith and I was surprised that he listened to me and seemed interested. I want to do right by God and follow Him but there is a too late.

I just don't have any more promptings from the Holy Spirit. What a high price I paid for sin.
 
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childeye 2

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I have. I even witnessed to a guy about my faith and I was surprised that he listened to me and seemed interested. I want to do right by God and follow Him but there is a too late.

I just don't have any more promptings from the Holy Spirit. What a high price I paid for sin.

You said before that you have not helped a homeless man which was on the list, (so that you could acknowledge God and thank God for His Spirit). Why not? Are you not thankful for His Spirit? Do something for someone else that costs you something and thank God to be able to do it, if you really want to do right by God.


Respectfully, do you really expect me to believe your claim that "there's a too late", when I know that Jesus claims that one act of love covers a multitude of sins? Why argue with Jesus who is sent by God to argue for us, not against us? I'm sorry but I must believe Jesus over you because His words give hope while your words are hopelessness.


Moreover you apparently convinced yourself that you paid a high price for sin, while also claiming to have preached the Gospel; Is it the same Gospel wherein Jesus paid the price for the sins of the world because we are carnal? Why do you think he did that? Did he die for nothing?


Also you speak about "your" faith, rather than "the faith". Do you believe in an Eternal Love or not? Because that’s “the faith”. If so, then get busy loving others. If not, then you haven’t believed in the Gospel.
 
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Ken Rank

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If you did a Hebrews 6, you wouldn't be concerned in the least. The fact that you are concerned means you're still with us. The joy returns as you act out in unconditional love for others and stop obsessing over self.
That is almost word for word what I would have said. The fact that @Invalidusername even cares reveals one undeniable truth... God has not gone anywhere. If He had, if He had given you up to your desires and lusts and whatever else... you would not be seeking reconciliation with Him. The "Lost sheep of Israel" were given that name because when they went into Assyria they did not repent and instead, assimilated into the Assyrian culture and accepted their many gods. So, God gave them up, and in return they ceased to retain God in their knowledge. By the time the youngest that was taken captive was old, nobody had any knowledge of the God of Israel and weren't looking... hence them being lost. Not just to their sins... but to their IDENTITY. You don't have that problem, you don't feel God like you felt Him before, sense Him like you sensed Him before... but that doesn't mean He isn't there... perhaps He is just standing in a another spot (so to speak) waiting for you to find Him in that meaningful way, again.

I wouldn't dare tell you what to do, invalidusername. But if it were me... I would go take some time alone and fast and pray... a lot. :) God bless.
 
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I have. I even witnessed to a guy about my faith and I was surprised that he listened to me and seemed interested. I want to do right by God and follow Him but there is a too late.

I just don't have any more promptings from the Holy Spirit. What a high price I paid for sin.

You did not answer me before. Did you deny Jesus as your Savior when you went prodigal into a life of sin?
 
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I just don't have any more promptings from the Holy Spirit. What a high price I paid for sin.
JOHN.14: = Jesus Promises Another Helper
15 “If you love Me, keep My commandments. 16 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. ...

26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

JOHN.16: = 13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. 14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. 15 All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.

You need to delve more into the Bible or Word of God, so that the Holy Spirit of God can teach you more things, remind you of more sayings from Jesus/God, guide you into more truths and tell you more about the book of REVELATION.
.

JOHN.20: = 28 And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

LUKE.16: = 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’ ”


Maybe, promptings from the Holy Spirit of God was mostly for the apostles and prophets, eg hearing directly from God/Jesus.

Sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking only bring the curses/punishments of God upon you, eg murderers are executed, thieves are jailed, traffic offenders are fined, etc. Christians should not remain in serious and harmful sins/evil-deeds, eg serial rapists, serial murderers, etc. Define sins/evil-deeds.(MATTHEW.7:12)
 
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zoidar

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Too many things to count. I hope you are right but I have an empty heart. No call or promptings from God.

I doesn't matter. What matters is what you choose. You choose to follow Christ now right? If so just trust in his mercy.

"the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out." /John 6:37
 
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Invalidusername

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You did not answer me before. Did you deny Jesus as your Savior when you went prodigal into a life of sin?

No not consciously. I did prioritize other things over Him though.
 
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Invalidusername

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That is almost word for word what I would have said. The fact that @Invalidusername even cares reveals one undeniable truth... God has not gone anywhere. If He had, if He had given you up to your desires and lusts and whatever else... you would not be seeking reconciliation with Him. The "Lost sheep of Israel" were given that name because when they went into Assyria they did not repent and instead, assimilated into the Assyrian culture and accepted their many gods. So, God gave them up, and in return they ceased to retain God in their knowledge. By the time the youngest that was taken captive was old, nobody had any knowledge of the God of Israel and weren't looking... hence them being lost. Not just to their sins... but to their IDENTITY. You don't have that problem, you don't feel God like you felt Him before, sense Him like you sensed Him before... but that doesn't mean He isn't there... perhaps He is just standing in a another spot (so to speak) waiting for you to find Him in that meaningful way, again.

I wouldn't dare tell you what to do, invalidusername. But if it were me... I would go take some time alone and fast and pray... a lot. :) God bless.

That's true. I never did stop thinking of myself as a Christian. Maybe a carnal one but I never completely rejected my identity.

JOHN.14: = Jesus Promises Another Helper
15 “If you love Me, keep My commandments. 16 And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. ...

26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.

JOHN.16: = 13 However, when He, the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears He will speak; and He will tell you things to come. 14 He will glorify Me, for He will take of what is Mine and declare it to you. 15 All things that the Father has are Mine. Therefore I said that He will take of Mine and declare it to you.

You need to delve more into the Bible or Word of God, so that the Holy Spirit of God can teach you more things, remind you of more sayings from Jesus/God, guide you into more truths and tell you more about the book of REVELATION.
.

JOHN.20: = 28 And Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

29 Jesus said to him, “Thomas, because you have seen Me, you have believed. Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

LUKE.16: = 29 Abraham said to him, ‘They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.’ 30 And he said, ‘No, father Abraham; but if one goes to them from the dead, they will repent.’ 31 But he said to him, ‘If they do not hear Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded though one rise from the dead.’ ”


Maybe, promptings from the Holy Spirit of God was mostly for the apostles and prophets, eg hearing directly from God/Jesus.

Sins/evil-deeds/law-breaking only bring the curses/punishments of God upon you, eg murderers are executed, thieves are jailed, traffic offenders are fined, etc. Christians should not remain in serious and harmful sins/evil-deeds, eg serial rapists, serial murderers, etc. Define sins/evil-deeds.(MATTHEW.7:12)

Those are some very helpful verses. I will mediate on them. Thank you.
 
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Invalidusername

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I doesn't matter. What matters is what you choose. You choose to follow Christ now right? If so just trust in his mercy.

"the one who comes to Me I will certainly not cast out." /John 6:37

Yes I had that verse come to my mind when I was thinking about suicide yesterday. It helped me to calm down.
 
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No not consciously. I did prioritize other things over Him though.

Not the same thing then. If you did not verbally deny Jesus as your Savior, and you do not speak bad words against the Holy Ghost, you can be forgiven.

For if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Jesus says we are to forgive a person 70 x 7. This means God can forgive us like that, too (And more). God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

1 John 1:9 is a promise you can bank on. If you believe by faith that verse, then you are forgiven according to that verse. The feeling of God's Spirit in your life will come in time. The healing will come in time. But you must believe 1 John 1:9. It is 100% true. In fact, go to 1 John 1:9 right now and tell the Lord again how you are sorry. Tell the Lord that you believe His promise in 1 John 1:9 and that you will now live your life for Him. Don't wait for a feeling. Just believe 1 John 1:9. You have to believe it.

Solomon sinned a lot more than you and he was forgiven by God in the end. In fact, he wrote actual books in the Bible. Do you think God would let an apostate to write books in the Bible? The words of Scripture came about by the working of the Holy Spirit through men of God and not by apostates.

Anyways, Solomon went after other gods and had many wives and concubines. Yet, he concluded in Ecclesiastes that these things did not satisfy him. He concluded that we are to fear God and keep His commandments.

If you are interested, you can check out my thread on how I believe Solomon was saved in the end (According to Scripture):
https://www.christianforums.com/threads/was-solomon-saved.8055573/

Grievous sin does separate us from God, and it's wake might make us feel distant to God, but we have to walk by faith first. Walking by faith will in time give you the joyful presence of the Lord in time. But it starts with 1 John 1:9 (i.e. Repentance). But we do not believe just by having a feeling. The joy of the Lord will come in time. For David cried to the Lord to return to him the joy of his salvation back. He also felt as you did in Psalms 51. David committed adultery and murder. He also had many wives and concubines. He also disobeyed God in regards to giving a census. Yet, he was forgiven in the end because he kept seeking after God. David was a man after God's own heart. They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. That's what you need to do. Wait upon the Lord until He renews your strength in Him. It's faith. Not a feeling. Feeling will come in time, but believe in God's Word by faith first. For without faith, it is impossible to please God.

Side Note:

I know your contention may be Hebrews 3:13-14, Hebrews 6:4-6, Hebrews 10:26, and Hebrews 10:38-39.

But you have to realize that this is talking about denying Jesus as Lord. The author of Hebrews was telling certain Messianic Jews who wanted to avoid persecution for a while by going back to the Jewish religion for a while until the persecution passed. But the author of Hebrews appealed to them about how Jesus is the Heavenly High Priest of a better covenant. We can see this push that Jesus is our priest in Hebrews 4 through Hebrews 5, and Hebrews 7, Hebrews 8, Hebrews 9. They wanted to come back to Jesus intentionally later on in their life after having regressed back to Judaism. But the author of Hebrews is telling them that if they were to do that, they would crucify the Son of God to themselves afresh (or all over again), thereby putting Him to an open shame (And they could no longer repent of their sins if they did that). So basically, they were intentionally wanting to deny Jesus by becoming Jewish in order to avoid persecution. This is not the same as just falling into sin in general. James 5:19-20 and the Parable of the Prodigal Son both teach that a believer can come back to the faith to the saving of their soul from living a prodigal life or in backsliding into sin. As long as you did not intentionally set out to deny Jesus and you did not not verbally reject Jesus, you can be come back to the faith and have assurance of salvation (in time), once you allow the healing process to take hold on your life by God.

I hope this helps, brother;
And may God heal your soul.
I will be praying for you.
 
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zoidar

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Yes I had that verse come to my mind when I was thinking about suicide yesterday. It helped me to calm down.

I will pray for you friend! My mom used that verse to calm me down when my heart was empty, full of evil and darkness. Just like you, I believed it was too late for me. But I made a commitment to trust fully in Christ, trust in his forgiveness and not look at my own heart ... and Christ showed me mercy.

You know, just like you I was saved and made some poor decisions. It was like the Holy Spirit was gone, the connection to God was gone. I was even sure I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit. All I had was this darkness inside. But Jesus came to save the lost, he came to save me, and he came to save you.
 
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Invalidusername

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Not the same thing then. If you did not verbally deny Jesus as your Savior, and you do not speak bad words against the Holy Ghost, you can be forgiven.

For if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). Jesus says we are to forgive a person 70 x 7. This means God can forgive us like that, too (And more). God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

1 John 1:9 is a promise you can bank on. If you believe by faith that verse, then you are forgiven according to that verse. The feeling of God's Spirit in your life will come in time. The healing will come in time. But you must believe 1 John 1:9. It is 100% true. In fact, go to 1 John 1:9 right now and tell the Lord again how you are sorry. Tell the Lord that you believe His promise in 1 John 1:9 and that you will now live your life for Him. Don't wait for a feeling. Just believe 1 John 1:9. You have to believe it.

Solomon sinned a lot more than you and he was forgiven by God in the end. In fact, he wrote actual books in the Bible. Do you think God would let an apostate to write books in the Bible? The words of Scripture came about by the working of the Holy Spirit through men of God and not by apostates.

Anyways, Solomon went after other gods and had many wives and concubines. Yet, he concluded in Ecclesiastes that these things did not satisfy him. He concluded that we are to fear God and keep His commandments.

If you are interested, you can check out my thread on how I believe Solomon was saved in the end (According to Scripture):
https://www.christianforums.com/threads/was-solomon-saved.8055573/

Grievous sin does separate us from God, and it's wake might make us feel distant to God, but we have to walk by faith first. Walking by faith will in time give you the joyful presence of the Lord in time. But it starts with 1 John 1:9 (i.e. Repentance). But we do not believe just by having a feeling. The joy of the Lord will come in time. For David cried to the Lord to return to him the joy of his salvation back. He also felt as you did in Psalms 51. David committed adultery and murder. He also had many wives and concubines. He also disobeyed God in regards to giving a census. Yet, he was forgiven in the end because he kept seeking after God. David was a man after God's own heart. They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. That's what you need to do. Wait upon the Lord until He renews your strength in Him. It's faith. Not a feeling. Feeling will come in time, but believe in God's Word by faith.

Side Note:

I know your contention may be Hebrews 3:13-14, Hebrews 6:4-6, Hebrews 10:26, and Hebrews 10:38-39.

But you have to realize that this is talking about denying Jesus as Lord. The author of Hebrews was telling certain Messianic Jews who wanted to avoid persecution for a while by going back to the Jewish religion for a while until the persecution passed. But the author of Hebrews appealed to them about how Jesus is the Heavenly High Priest of a better covenant. We can see this push that Jesus is our priest in Hebrews 4 through Hebrews 5, and Hebrews 7, Hebrews 8, Hebrews 9. They wanted to come back to Jesus intentionally later on in their life after having regressed back to Judaism. But the author of Hebrews is telling them that if they were to do that, they would crucify the Son of God to themselves afresh (or all over again), thereby putting Him to an open shame (And they could no longer repent of their sins if they did that). So basically, they were intentionally wanting to deny Jesus by becoming Jewish in order to avoid persecution. This is not the same as just falling into sin in general. James 5:19-20 and the Parable of the Prodigal Son both teach that a believer can come back to the faith to the saving of their soul from living a prodigal life or in backsliding into sin. As long as you did not intentionally set out to deny Jesus and you did not not verbally reject Jesus, you can be come back to the faith and have assurance of salvation (in time), once you allow the healing process to take hold on your life by God.

Thank you Jason. Your words have greatly helped me. I will no longer do any self examination and obsessing over not feeling convictions about stuff and try to fix my eyes on God/Jesus no matter what. I hope you are right about me being able to come back. I miss God and the Holy Spirit.

I will pray for you friend! My mom used that verse to calm me down when my heart was empty, full of evil and darkness. Just like you, I believed it was too late for me. But I made a commitment to trust fully in Christ, trust in his forgiveness and not look at my own heart ... and Christ showed me mercy.

You know, just like you I was saved and made some poor decisions. It was like the Holy Spirit was gone, the connection to God was gone. I was even sure I had blasphemed the Holy Spirit. All I had was this darkness inside. But Jesus came to save the lost, he came to save me, and he came to save you.

Thank you. I will take your word for it and keep searching. Even if it takes me 45 years.
 
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zoidar

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Thank you. I will take your word for it and keep searching. Even if it takes me 45 years.

Maybe you can think of it like this: Even the best of us don't deserve to go to heaven, it's a mercy-ticket. Ok, your heart may be empty and hardened, but Christ still is your mercy-ticket, just like for the rest of us.
 
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Thank you Jason. Your words have greatly helped me. I will no longer do any self examination and obsessing over not feeling convictions about stuff and try to fix my eyes on God/Jesus no matter what. I hope you are right about me being able to come back. I miss God and the Holy Spirit.

You are most welcome. It begins with 1 John 1:9 and believing it, brother. It's a promise verse. I pray you go to that verse tonight on your knees and cry out to God with all your might in the quite of your room. For in the Lord's prayer it states that we are to say to the Father (as a part of an outline), forgive us our debts (sin). God knows that we can struggle with sin. God knows that believers can fall into a life of sin for a while like the Prodigal Son. But God wants us back. Remember, when the Prodigal Son wanted to go back to his father, the Father did not instantly appear out of nowhere. The Prodigal Son had to go back home. We have to get deep into the things of God (within His Word). This is the place or home God wants us to reside. The spiritual treasures within His Word put deep within our hearts. It takes time to return back home sometimes. Just keep the faith and believe and you will then be able to rejoice with the Father in loving embrace.
 
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