I've been attending a very small church for a few years. It is not actually the denomination that I consider myself to be, but I go there because overall, I was comfortable with the pastor and the other people there, whereas many of the other nearby churches I tried just weren't a good fit for me. This one was. And because of transportation issues, which I'll mention later.
But the old pastor retired and moved away to another state, and a new one and his family have taken over. Now overall, the new pastor is really good. I do like him, he has good, thought-provoking messages and seems very grounded in the word. But there is one thing about him that is driving me nuts. He is obsessed, and I do mean obsessed, with church attendance.
Don't get me wrong- I do believe in being faithful in attendance, and I'm also happy to see the church growing. It's the methods of this pastor, his family and apparently the actual doctrine of this particular denomination and their use of guilt that I'm not used to, and it's making me feel like I'm a prisoner of them and all their newly added services.
I'm not just talking about Sunday and Wednesday services, which are pretty standard (though under the old pastor there was only Sunday morning service, no weekdays). No, even youth services regardless of your age. Even (get this) children's choir practice- even if you don't sing and have no children, and (get this one now) even BBQ's and volleyball on Saturdays in the summer (which didn't actually happen, but there was talk about it)! I kid you not. He expects everyone in the church to be present every single time there is absolutely anything happening on church property, unless you are practically dying or something. No joke. If the Roto Rooter man is there cleaning out the septic tank he probably expects everyone to be there for it. The old pastor was not like this!
He literally said in a recent sermon, "Our lives revolve around church (services and activities). They don't revolve around the world (meaning jobs, family, etc.)." He comes in, takes over, adds all these new services and activities that didn't exist before, and then expects everyone to alter their schedules accordingly. Now he's been bugging me to talk to my boss and have him change my work hours to accommodate all these new church activities, which is not going to happen. For one thing, in order to change my schedule they would have to change everyone else's schedule too, and that's not really fair to my coworkers.
This is really starting to get on my nerves. Hardly any of his sermons or messages or even Bible studies don't contain some reference to being a faithful church attendant. He actually misuses Scripture to bring home his point, making you feel guilty if you cannot be there for some service or event. He doesn't even approve of people going on vacation if it means they will be gone and miss ANY service or event!
I've always been faithful in attendance unless I had a good reason I couldn't make it, or if something came up. I've gone to other very good churches in years past and none of them ever used guilt trips like this. They understood that sometimes people wouldn't be able to make it to some of the services and were fine with it, as long as you always came back regularly and were there when you could be. Also, there wasn't a conflict with my work schedule and church until the new pastor took over and began adding more services and events that didn't exist before. Now because I work until late in the evenings, it means I have to miss some of these. Also, my days off are the only days I can do things like grocery shopping, laundry and other errands because I'm too exhausted from my job to do them on work days. All these added activities are putting a squeeze on my free time to do these things too.
I feel like I've reached a breaking point. Right now they have Sunday and Wednesday services, plus other activities on Tuesdays and now apparently Thursdays. They've been talking about adding even more. Last night I barely slept because I was so stressed out about it!
I know the simplest answer some people might give me is "Find another church!" And some others might agree with him and say to me, "Find another job so you can be there all the time!" But both of these are difficult primarily because I don't drive (I do ride a bike and the bus), and there is no transit service on Sundays, so I need a good church that is close to home. And I need a job that's close to my home for the same reason. I feel trapped, and don't know how to handle this! It has me depressed and feeling stressed and drained.
But the old pastor retired and moved away to another state, and a new one and his family have taken over. Now overall, the new pastor is really good. I do like him, he has good, thought-provoking messages and seems very grounded in the word. But there is one thing about him that is driving me nuts. He is obsessed, and I do mean obsessed, with church attendance.
Don't get me wrong- I do believe in being faithful in attendance, and I'm also happy to see the church growing. It's the methods of this pastor, his family and apparently the actual doctrine of this particular denomination and their use of guilt that I'm not used to, and it's making me feel like I'm a prisoner of them and all their newly added services.
I'm not just talking about Sunday and Wednesday services, which are pretty standard (though under the old pastor there was only Sunday morning service, no weekdays). No, even youth services regardless of your age. Even (get this) children's choir practice- even if you don't sing and have no children, and (get this one now) even BBQ's and volleyball on Saturdays in the summer (which didn't actually happen, but there was talk about it)! I kid you not. He expects everyone in the church to be present every single time there is absolutely anything happening on church property, unless you are practically dying or something. No joke. If the Roto Rooter man is there cleaning out the septic tank he probably expects everyone to be there for it. The old pastor was not like this!
He literally said in a recent sermon, "Our lives revolve around church (services and activities). They don't revolve around the world (meaning jobs, family, etc.)." He comes in, takes over, adds all these new services and activities that didn't exist before, and then expects everyone to alter their schedules accordingly. Now he's been bugging me to talk to my boss and have him change my work hours to accommodate all these new church activities, which is not going to happen. For one thing, in order to change my schedule they would have to change everyone else's schedule too, and that's not really fair to my coworkers.
This is really starting to get on my nerves. Hardly any of his sermons or messages or even Bible studies don't contain some reference to being a faithful church attendant. He actually misuses Scripture to bring home his point, making you feel guilty if you cannot be there for some service or event. He doesn't even approve of people going on vacation if it means they will be gone and miss ANY service or event!
I've always been faithful in attendance unless I had a good reason I couldn't make it, or if something came up. I've gone to other very good churches in years past and none of them ever used guilt trips like this. They understood that sometimes people wouldn't be able to make it to some of the services and were fine with it, as long as you always came back regularly and were there when you could be. Also, there wasn't a conflict with my work schedule and church until the new pastor took over and began adding more services and events that didn't exist before. Now because I work until late in the evenings, it means I have to miss some of these. Also, my days off are the only days I can do things like grocery shopping, laundry and other errands because I'm too exhausted from my job to do them on work days. All these added activities are putting a squeeze on my free time to do these things too.
I feel like I've reached a breaking point. Right now they have Sunday and Wednesday services, plus other activities on Tuesdays and now apparently Thursdays. They've been talking about adding even more. Last night I barely slept because I was so stressed out about it!
I know the simplest answer some people might give me is "Find another church!" And some others might agree with him and say to me, "Find another job so you can be there all the time!" But both of these are difficult primarily because I don't drive (I do ride a bike and the bus), and there is no transit service on Sundays, so I need a good church that is close to home. And I need a job that's close to my home for the same reason. I feel trapped, and don't know how to handle this! It has me depressed and feeling stressed and drained.
