Fellowship vs quiet time

AnnaDeborah · Aug 28, 2018

I don't think it will be the last time you will encounter disagreement, sadly - it is so easy for us to convince ourselves that our way is the right way! All you can do in cases of disagreement is to ensure your own heart is right before the Lord. Because we each will have to answer for our own actions not those of others.

Bible Highlighter · Aug 28, 2018

I meet up with a brother every couple of months, but I actually desire more regular fellowship, but have had trouble finding like minded believers. I am even looking to just love at this point, and not pick apart people's odd beliefs in the Bible. But I know in time, it will lead to me telling them the truth with them not wanting to hear it. For the truth of God's Word is important to me. I started a Meetup group for those wanting to follow after Jesus (i.e. to live holy). Most do not seem to really desire that. Most also do not want to meet up outside of church. At least that is my experience so far. You could say that I am disheartened by not finding similar like minded believers like myself. I see them online (YouTube, or from an article), but not in person. I keep praying for God to bring like minded believers into my life that both my wife and I can really agree with.

As for daily felllowship: I just do not see that where I live, either. My time is spent in the Word of God, and prayer. I do converse with Christians online here at CF, but it is not the same as having fellowship in person.

Side Note:

I also do not agree with attending at a church building (among believers and unbelievers in worship), for I do not consider it to be biblical way of gathering. Even when I did attend church in the past at different places, I just never found that fellowship. I also have severe ringing in the ears and so music at church is not good on my ears (with it being so loud). Even with ear plugs, my ears can ring even louder because the music is so loud. I recently contacted a home fellowship group. I am going to check it out and see how that goes. I was at a house meet up group once (with it being a special event) in the past (where I used to live) and it was nice. I wish this is how the church met on a regular basis and not in expensive buildings where they put on a rock concert.

Bible Highlighter · Aug 28, 2018

As for quite time: I do like to take moments in prayer with God sometimes and silently pray in the morning. In fact, I am by nature a generally quite person. But when I speak about God's Word, then that's when I become passionate and speak boldly and with the power of God. I sometimes do practice sermons at home by way of video. But I have not released any on YouTube yet. I am a perfectionist, so I would like for my videos to be a little more professional looking.

Tropical Wilds · Aug 28, 2018

frater_domus said:
Do you have any advice?

Yes. Stop over thinking it.

Fish Catcher Jim · Aug 28, 2018

frater_domus said:
Yes, maybe that will help. I am very unorganized by nature, so a plan will definitely do wonders. But I aso must establish priorities. I can't let hobby time to take away from quiet time and fellowship. However, neither can I do these things continuously without a break, which in turn is helped by socializing and hobbies.

I must admit though, it feels very uncomfortable that the one community that I found meets every day. It sets a very high bar and I feel bad and downright inferior if I set time apart for other things. I feel like I am an inferior servant of God compared to them.

Maybe just check with them and I bet other members only come on certain days.

As far as how you are feeling....cast those thoughts down. They are not of God nor fitting but are a performance based thought which is under the old law and one of satans big attacks.

Relax and Enjoy your Salvation
Blessings

Fish Catcher Jim · Aug 28, 2018

frater_domus said:
The daily meetings is also the point where I feel attacked. They say that fellowship is of utmost importance and that we need to consult each other and that each one need to do what is best for the community. I feel bad for going to university, because that would mean less time spent in fellowship. That can't be right, can it?

Again......Relax and enjoy your salvation.
Trust God and lose the rule mentality.
All this rule stuff and performance stuff is meant to bring strife into your life.

Relax and go fellowship and trust that if the Father wants anything different He is more then able to let you know.
Blessings

marineimaging · Aug 28, 2018

frater_domus said:
Hey folks. A little bit of an issue came up that I am not sure how to handle. To say that God dropped a nuke on my head would be a bit of understatement.

After I moved to a new location, I finally decided that I feel ready to join a church community. I met a guy there and he invited me to visit his little fellowship, which meets daily for bible study and discussion. Boy, did I not want to go. Still, I felt compelled to try at least once. I went there with a desire to prove to myself and to them that this is not necessary and the first part was me actually fishing for bible phrases to prove my point that fellowship ain’t all that. Those weren’t the kinds of people I would usually consider meeting, simply for socioeconomic and educational reason.

However, then the bomb dropped in form of Acts 9:6, as suggested by one of the other six attendants. You see, I am a big fan of Paul, him being somewhat of a personal hero for me. But I never realized that one crucial point. Before he went all out on his own way, he was first told by the church what to do. And even when traveling, he had companions and rejoiced at seeing Christian communities. This passage stung hard, as God showed me the immense wall of pride I have built up and how it was blinding me and made me understand the importance of fellowship. But not only that, He then proceeded to tear down my little wall. All of a sudden I saw those people in a different light and I grew softer towards them. However, it was a very painful, humbling and downright uncomfortable experience, which resulted in dizziness and chills.

Now that God has opened my eyes and showed me how my compulsion to grow upwards I completely neglected, and even counteracted, to grow closer with others, I am not sure how to deal with that. I know that the fellowship meets daily, but I am not sure that is doable for me due to university. And then there is the question of my other activities and my quiet time. I am not sure how fellowship fits into my life, or rather I am not sure about the changes that my life will need to undergo now. I definitely feel different about the meetings now and I feel more open to visit other groups as well and make it a regular thing. However, I still lack the understanding of how it all fits together, I can’t answer the fellowship vs. quiet time dilemma and the general structure of life. I feel kind of disoriented and I even started to question all my activities that I do and whether it is even alright for me to pursue hobbies such a board games with my friends if it would mean me not being able to attend a fellowship sometimes.

Do you have any advice?

Take it one day at a time with sweet Jesus, one day at a time.

aiki · Aug 28, 2018

frater_domus said:
Now that God has opened my eyes and showed me how my compulsion to grow upwards I completely neglected, and even counteracted, to grow closer with others, I am not sure how to deal with that. I know that the fellowship meets daily, but I am not sure that is doable for me due to university. And then there is the question of my other activities and my quiet time. I am not sure how fellowship fits into my life, or rather I am not sure about the changes that my life will need to undergo now. I definitely feel different about the meetings now and I feel more open to visit other groups as well and make it a regular thing. However, I still lack the understanding of how it all fits together, I can’t answer the fellowship vs. quiet time dilemma and the general structure of life. I feel kind of disoriented and I even started to question all my activities that I do and whether it is even alright for me to pursue hobbies such a board games with my friends if it would mean me not being able to attend a fellowship sometimes.

Do you have any advice?

You are not living in the time or the culture of the Early Church, the Church of Acts. What is described of the functioning of the Church in Acts and elsewhere in the New Testament is not necessarily prescriptive. In other words, we aren't obliged to live exactly as the New Testament believers did. Some Christians, though, falling prey to the Is-Ought Fallacy, tend to confuse description in the Bible with prescription and try to recreate today what went on among the first believers. Some of what happened among them is worth emulating, but not all. Certainly, behaviours of the first Christians clearly tied to the time and culture of the New Testament are not binding, I think upon believers today. In light of this, what is the rationale, then, for such a schedule of fellowship? And do you think in your newfound concern for greater interaction with the community of believers that you might swing unnecessarily far toward the opposite extreme - a sort of near-cultish over-participation in this group you've found? It seems to me it would at least be prudent to wait a bit and get a thorough sense of what this group is truly like before committing yourself too much to its activities.

God calls us to love what He loves, and He loves you and I and He certainly loves the Bride of Christ, the Church. We can do no less. But our love for what God loves ought to arise as a natural consequence of our love for Him. Obeying the First and Great Commandment always inevitably results in obedience to the Second Great Commandment. Always. If you want to engage with the Church in a healthy way, then, I would urge you first to obey fully the First and Great Commandment. Don't let guilt, or shame, or any other motive than love provoke you into the fellowship of believers.

Hanging out with friends to play board games and such ought not to happen at the expense of fellowship with believers, but there is no biblical mandate that I know of that requires such participation in the Church that you have no time left for anything else. The Church ought to be a priority, yes, but not to a cultish degree.

Bobber · Aug 28, 2018

frater_domus said:
After I moved to a new location, I finally decided that I feel ready to join a church community. I met a guy there and he invited me to visit his little fellowship, which meets daily for bible study and discussion.

That's great. The meeting daily I'd say you need to balance out with wisdom and don't feel in bondage that it has to be every day without fail....such would get into legalism.

frater_domus said:
However, then the bomb dropped in form of Acts 9:6, as suggested by one of the other six attendants. You see, I am a big fan of Paul, him being somewhat of a personal hero for me. But I never realized that one crucial point.Before he went all out on his own way, he was first told by the church what to do.

Well keep in mind when you read from Acts in this passage it doesn't really say what he was to do except Ananias telling him he needed to be filled with the Spirit.

frater_domus said:
I feel kind of disoriented and I even started to question all my activities that I do and whether it is even alright for me to pursue hobbies such a board games with my friends if it would mean me not being able to attend a fellowship sometimes.

Well to me honestly it sounds like while such fellowship can be good if it becomes like a law over your life beware. I wouldn't let it translate to my consciousness that I've sinned for missing numbers of days. Everyone has differing needs in life. You said you're in university so you're just staring your life more or less or you do need to be more so focused on education to build a career than then say some of us retired folk ....Some people like myself may have more time to follow after more fellowship things then somebody else. If someone tried to make you feel guilty for missing days consider leaving. Such would be the equivalent of putting a yoke on your mind that God never intended you to bear.

Lulav · Aug 30, 2018

frater_domus said:
They did not rejoice that they could help and that I was now actively seeking a community I fit in. They lamented the fact that I was going against God's word and making a step back.

frater_domus said:
The worst part though is that they managed to make me feel guilty, uncomfortable yet again and downright a little bit dirty.

I have to say that reading through your posts this whole thing sounds off; and your meeting with them confirmed it. I've visited a couple church groups that had really strange ideas and weren't exactly welcoming, or started off welcoming then would ask you to dinner after service and basically grill you about your life, then they would focus on how they could 'set you straight' or make you leave.

I'm not surprised they told you that you were going against the word of God. But did they give you specific scriptures? I would be very skeptical about any of their bible studies, it sounds like they have their own interpretation and it could really lead you astray.

If you have a Baptist church to go to I'd say stick with that and run far from this group. I don't know exactly what they are selling but you shouldn't be in the market for buying it.

frater_domus · Aug 30, 2018

I did meet with a church elder. Cool guy, from Canada of all places

Well, he made two very good points. One is that this group voted with their feet. They are not part of any church and choose not to support it and the ministries of it, and they operate in relative isolation by having such frequent and long meetings as opposed to being the light and spreading the gospel.
The second one was a question of whether I felt the spirit of love in their action. While I do not know them well enough, I did not feel as welcomed and accepted as at my local church.
We ultimately arrived at the conclusion that if it works for them then God bless, but it is certainly not the kind of worship that is for me and I shouldn't feel bad about it. While I knew this before, the talk was helpful in putting it all into perspective

Well, guess it is time to review the lessons learned and shake the dust of my feet and move on. Thanks, everyone, for the input.

/thread

continueinfaith · Aug 30, 2018

frater_domus said:
The daily meetings is also the point where I feel attacked. They say that fellowship is of utmost importance and that we need to consult each other and that each one need to do what is best for the community. I feel bad for going to university, because that would mean less time spent in fellowship. That can't be right, can it?

Oh my goodness, this is so similar to how I'm feeling with my current church right now! They are adding so many new services and activities and implying that they're all mandatory, and it's stressing me out SO much! My job and other obligations are conflicting with all this new stuff and I'm under so much pressure! I wish I had some advice for you, but it helps me a little knowing that I'm not alone in this. Hopefully it helps you too knowing that YOU'RE not alone either.

LoricaLady · Aug 30, 2018

Has the Father told you that you have to fellowship with such and such a group every day? Does the Bible say that? You have a heart to do the right thing, and that is great. But don't go on a guilt trip.

Heck, once a week with a good fellowship group is great. if they stop being so good, like maybe with different members or a less Biblical direction, it is just fine to go elsewhere too.

On the other hand, quiet time with the Father is even more important. In that time, as you draw closer and close to Him, He will more and more guide you in all other areas.

Fellowship vs quiet time

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