Do you think that using inappropriate contentography is equal to cheating?

2PhiloVoid

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Dang sure can't get them to focus on 2 Corinthians 8: 13-15

Just like our whole supposedly Christianized society has a difficult time focusing on 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8.
 
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2PhiloVoid

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Kids with rumbling bellies unsure when their next meal is going to come? Families driven from their homes into destitution because they were forced into bankruptcy trying to afford prescriptions/medical treatments that nobody pays any mind to anywhere else in the world? People dying left and right due to drug addictions caused by pharmaceutical malfeasance and lying in pursuit of the almighty dollar?

God's cool with all of that. He has His priorities straight. It's the self diddlers that really get His goat.

Actually, from what I've read in the Bible (i.e. from cover to cover), all of the things you've mentioned, in one form or another, and sometimes in our society, several forms, "get His goat," I think.

[Good points, DZ! Don't think I'm knocking you, 'cuz I'm not! I'm just adding a extra couple of cents to the ante. ;)]
 
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2PhiloVoid

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i'll say that while I understand the Biblical description of lust, I think that wanting your spouse sexually, being turned on by them, while that could be considered lustful, it is a natural feeling. It is a human feeling. Sometimes, I feel that sex is viewed as a bad thing always, when it comes to talking about lust from a Biblical sense.

I'm just going to chime in for a moment and say that I've never, ever considered my sexual desire for my wife to be a form of lust. And to say that it ever could be seems to stretch the meaning of biblical sexuality sin beyond its actual interpretive bounds.

Analytically speaking, it probably would be good if Christians in the English speaking world could actually sit down and sort out the various etymologies and denotations that seem to get so [pardon the pun] 'screwed up' and unnecessarily intertwined in when the topic of sex vs. lust comes about. There's seems to be way too much confusion on these related subjects in the churches, I think. Christians seem to be so confused and afraid to really talk about these topics in a clear fashion that they are often doing many people a disservice in their reticence to fully handle what God has actually given us. One would almost think that in American culture, the Devil gave us 'natural sexual desire' rather than God.
 
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SkyWriting

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It puts it into the "not a volitional act" category.

Say, you're sitting in your car at a red light and your brakes suddenly failed, allowing the car to jolt out and kill a child in the cross walk.

Is a dead child "OK?" Certainly not. But the incident is not your fault.

Sure. Going to be with God is never a bad thing.
It may make us sad, but the child has no complaints.
God is aware of the timing of everything.
 
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PeachieKeen

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I post on a marriage forum, and one of the questions recently came up about inappropriate content use. Mainly these threads are geared towards men viewing inappropriate content, but there are a lot of women who view inappropriate content, also. I personally wouldn't view it as cheating, unless...there were live interactions, and/or a personal relationship ensued from interaction through webcam inappropriate content, or something. That said, I don't believe that this is something that ''all'' men struggle with, but our society would make it sound like women should just accept men doing this, and get over it. lol Really demeans men, doesn't it?

But, back to what I was saying, there are women who view inappropriate content...and so my question is to the men here...if your wife was privately viewing inappropriate content, and leaving you out of it, and ''taking care of herself'' without you around...would you view it as cheating? Would it bother you?
I view it as cheating for sure. My husband used to do it and have no problem with it (beginning of dating), but we had some very honest conversations about it and now are both of the understanding that in our relationship that is to be viewed as cheating.

I think it may be unreasonable these days to expect a man to never have done it at all, but I think it's insulting to him to expect he can't move past it and it's something women just have to be the better person about.
 
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PeachieKeen

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one more bit to add. When I was having the conversation with him here's the way I helped him understand my feelings.

I started by asking if he would be comfortable with me pleasing myself to an ex's nudes (don't exist btw, just to illustrate). He said no, that's completely inappropriate because we used to be in a relationship.

I said ok, what if I did it with Bob's nudes instead? (Bob was a mutual friend I never had interest in but he had feelings for me). Once again, no. That's crossing the line.

Ok, what if I did it with Fred's photos? Fred was an attractive coworker, no history between us but we both know him. No. I couldn't look at him knowing he made you feel that way.

It went on until we realized the only thing that felt "ok" about regular inappropriate content is that there was a very little chance he would have to see the guy or me with the guy and come to terms with what ive done with that guy in my head. It took him taking the anonymity out of it to realize the act is very personal and damaging. It wasn't a comfortable conversation, but I think understanding one another is the key to a healthy relationship.
 
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RDKirk

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Just like our whole supposedly Christianized society has a difficult time focusing on 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8.

What does God continually focus on, however?

Consistently, through the OT and the NT, God focuses on how nations have cared for their poor, for the widows and fatherless children.

When God compared Israel to Sodom, for instance, He didn't speak of Sodom's sexual perversion, He explicitly said it was their callousness to their poor for which He destroyed them.
 
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RDKirk

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Sure. Going to be with God is never a bad thing.
It may make us sad, but the child has no complaints.
God is aware of the timing of everything.
Diversion.gif
 
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2PhiloVoid

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What does God continually focus on, however?

Consistently, through the OT and the NT, God focuses on how nations have cared for their poor, for the widows and fatherless children.

When God compared Israel to Sodom, for instance, He didn't speak of Sodom's sexual perversion, He explicitly said it was their callousness to their poor for which He destroyed them.

That's not what I read in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. From what I can tell, God really is focused on whether we are attempting, however fumbling we may do it, to live Holy lives before Him. But nowadays, it seems that the "easy grace" message has so easily permeated our culture that we think Jesus is our Big Buddy in the sky, who wouldn't hurt a fly. And no, let's not fool ourselves in regard to Sodom and Gomorrah; they were banned as immoral exemplifications of all of the same things that the Canaanites were supposedly banned for and for which God clearly and in no uncertain terms contrasted as moral choices to the nation of Israel when He, through Moses, proclaimed the Blessings and the Curses. We need to get our theology straight---in fact, it's the same underlying theology that is represented in the Torah, and the Prophets, and the Writings, and then like a scarlet thread all the way through the book of Revelation.

All I can say is that if we Christians turn a blind eye to raunch culture and just accept it, we're just playing into the onset of the Devil's work and mankind's sins, of which just one manifestation happens to be the production, distribution and widespread consumption of 'inappropriate content.'

And now we're at a point in our so-called cultural advance that inappropriate content is "...no big deal"? Really?
 
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Dave-W

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If she became aroused and had an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], then she has mentally, emotionally had sex with another man,
Disagree.

One of the Kinsey reports said that girls of the age 2 (toddlers) could have full blown adult strength [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse].

Are THEY envisioning having sex with a man? I seriously doubt it.
 
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Ken Rank

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I think that is misleading. The passage you mention (Matthew 5:27-28) is just a restatement of the 10th comandment, that you should not covet your neighbour's wife. In fact the Greek word tanslated as "lust" here is often equated with the Hebrew word used for "covet" in the 10th commandmend. So this is not a new idea. And we are told not to covet another man's wife because she is his possession. In other words we are not to seek after something that belongs to someone else. Modern marriages are not of this form - my wife is not my possession - but even if they were, seeking to steal someone's wife is very different from sexual attraction to a woman you see either in real life or on a screen. (Note that I am not saying lust is not a sin - I think it is - but that this verse is not quite what it is commonly interpreted to be.)

To answer the OP though, yes, I would be upset with my wife if she was doing what you describe, but I wouldn't regard it as cheating.
Covet... lust (self indulgent sexual sin)... he was very clear when he revealed the spirit behind the letter, the "intent" of the letter... to lust in the heart for another is no different than the physical act in God's eyes. You don't have to see it that way, but that is how God sees it. So how you would feel about your wife is one thing... how God feels about may or may not be another. :)
 
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DZoolander

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It's more than some guy self diddling, it's about what constitutes Cheating on a spouse, to say I personally don't like it but if my wife Husband do it, I'm cool with that, it's their choice......BFS!

When that becomes ok in a marriage, the one watching the inappropriate content is effectively leaving the Marriage for greener pastures.

1Co 7:2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1Co 7:3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
1Co 7:4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1Co 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

In Marriage we take a VOW, to our perspective spouse, and to God, have we as Christians forgotten what a Vow is and means to God?

Num. 30:2
If a man vow a vow unto the LORD, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

Deu. 23:21
When thou shalt vow a vow unto the LORD thy God, thou shalt not slack to pay it: for the LORD thy God will surely require it of thee; and it would be sin in thee.

Ecc. 5:4,5
4) When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools: pay that which thou hast vowed.
5) Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.

That's where these conversations start getting a little wonky to me.

It's like you're arguing that I'm saying sexual immorality is ok and needing to prove it to me. But that's not my point at all...lol

What I'm saying is that there are a litany of things in this world that are evil and wrong...and that people pick and choose what they decide to focus upon. For the most part - it seems to me that the Church chooses to focus primarily on sexual stuff - often at the sacrifice of everything else.
 
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Jon Osterman

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Covet... lust (self indulgent sexual sin)... he was very clear when he revealed the spirit behind the letter, the "intent" of the letter... to lust in the heart for another is no different than the physical act in God's eyes. You don't have to see it that way, but that is how God sees it. So how you would feel about your wife is one thing... how God feels about may or may not be another. :)

Well, I don't think that is true. I don't think that is the point he was making. Jesus was saying that the intent to commit a sin already damns us, and the implication is that this is true for all sins. He is using the 10th commandment as an example. But looking at a woman lustfully is not a violation of the 10th commandment because there is (normally) no intent to steal her away from her husband.
 
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2PhiloVoid

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That's where these conversations start getting a little wonky to me.

It's like you're arguing that I'm saying sexual immorality is ok and needing to prove it to me. But that's not my point at all...lol

What I'm saying is that there are a litany of things in this world that are evil and wrong...and that people pick and choose what they decide to focus upon. For the most part - it seems to me that the Church chooses to focus primarily on sexual stuff - often at the sacrifice of everything else.

And I agree that in some ways, a number of morally simplistic people in our Churches do 'focus' too much on certain aspects of our society, and I think they do this not because they really want to help, but because they'd like to see society improve in such-and-such a way.

The truth is, as you've alluded to and with which I agree by insinuation, is that many Christians do address social issues (such as the one discussed here), but they do so in awkward ways which don't do justice to the issues addressed, nor do they express themselves in an intelligence, educated, nor even truly empathetic kind of way.

However, there are a few Christians who do have a better sense for how to address some of the issue of inappropriate content, like the folks at XXX Church, among a few others. But in saying this, it frustrates me to know that I have to end up qualifying my statement with the term "FEW," which is another aspect of our agreement that there is an amount of shortsightedness in this area on the part of many in the Church. Additionally, as you've rightly said, there are all of those other pressing social problems affecting the basic welfare and well-being of people in our societh and our Churches seem to also ignore those even though God cares about those other social issues.
 
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Ken Rank

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Well, I don't think that is true. I don't think that is the point he was making. Jesus was saying that the intent to commit a sin already damns us, and the implication is that this is true for all sins. He is using the 10th commandment as an example. But looking at a woman lustfully is not a violation of the 10th commandment because there is (normally) no intent to steal her away from her husband.
We don't need to agree. But there are many instances where he reveals the spirit behind the letter or the intent of the law. For example, is it only murder when you kill another with intent? No, to hate your brother is to have already killed him. See, the same type of scenario he gave with adultery. The point Jon, is simple... he is revealing why we need the law written on our hearts. I can show you where God gave Israel the Torah and commanded them to keep it on their own hearts. They failed, we fail... and as part of the covenant we are part of, God will write the law Himself where we couldn't keep it... on our minds and hearts. That work has begun, it will be completed when HE comes, and when that work is done, we will be incorruptible, unable to sin again. That is the point he was sharing... no matter how well we obey, the heart will still betray us.
 
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Loren T.

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I would be upset, but not as upset as I would about her actually doing it with another man. Maybe that's illogical, but as wrong as it is, that image or video is not actually touching my wife in ways only I should. I understand lust, because I deal with it as a guy, so I think it would be a lot easier to forgive then actual adultery.
 
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Dave-W

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What I'm saying is that there are a litany of things in this world that are evil and wrong...and that people pick and choose what they decide to focus upon. For the most part - it seems to me that the Church chooses to focus primarily on sexual stuff - often at the sacrifice of everything else.
Yeah - I agree.
 
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Dave-W

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For example, is it only murder when you kill another with intent? No, to hate your brother is to have already killed him.
Hating him IS the intent.

If you kill him accidentally, it is NOT murder. No intent.
 
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RDKirk

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Hating him IS the intent.

If you kill him accidentally, it is NOT murder. No intent.

You beat me to that.

The intent is what makes it a crime, as proven by Jesus' statement. It's still a crime because of the intent, even if the act is not carried out.
 
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Ken Rank

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Hating him IS the intent.

If you kill him accidentally, it is NOT murder. No intent.
Of course... if you hate him and then go to him with the intent to kill him (you look at him, raise the gun, and deliberately fire) you both killed him in your heart and in the flesh. But if you hate him and don't take his life... you still have committed murder in the heart which to God is still murder and one of the many reason why we need to be changed. :)
 
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