A little background... My husband and I have been married for 13 years with two kids. We're in our early 30s, my husband is a professional and I am a stay at home Mom. He is an elder in our church. (we both understand the severity of this position)
When we met in our late teens (I was a senior in high school, he a sophomore in college) we were both Christians and averse to alcohol. I've never even been tempted and he had one hard-to-remember night in high school (that was the only time he ever drank and he swore it off). It was never a thing and it never has been. Until recently. For whatever reason, in the last 6 months or so he has begun to take to wine or champagne - nothing "hard" or beer... But we've gone on a few vacations and he has a glass on the plane, at the hotel, out to dinner, whatever. He's on vacation right now with our 10 year old son and he's sending pictures and in the pictures is his wine glass (with wine in it).
He's very adamant about it being only one glass, he is not drunk, not even buzzed. But I can't shake it.
Now... I have made my position very clear on this - and many times. It makes me uncomfortable and I do not like it. I confessed to him that I cannot give him any "good" reasoning other than I really hate it. In my mind, that should be enough. I'm his wife and he should respect me. But he's really firing back at me - really fighting it. And I don't understand why. He says it "relaxes" him. But I'm concerned... why does he need relaxing? What if, while in this state of relaxation, he sins. Is this a stumbling block?
We've dealt with things in the past and it just drags up all of my old feelings of... I can't explain it... Hate. Fear. Loss. Abandonment. But why is he fighting me so much on something that, as he says, "doesn't mean anything". If it doesn't mean anything, why does it mean so much?
He's a very logical man, and he wants logic. All I can give him is that it makes me uncomfortable. So he fires back with things to get back at me. (ie: "I'm going to make a long list of things that make me uncomfortable")
I'm so sad. My heart is so heavy over this. I wish it didn't matter so much to me... but I feel God is pushing him through me. It matters to me because it matters to God. Does that make sense?
It just feels good to talk about this. Alcohol is so prevalent in our society... Even my Christian friends drink. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this.
I used to drink socially a glass of wine maybe like once a year or so. But when my Christian
fiancé
asked me to stop, at first, I was angry because I didn't want anyone controlling my life. But then I took a step back and thought to myself. Okay Jay, what is more important? The drink or the girl of my dreams? I chose my girl (Who is now my wife). So I made a promise that I would not drink alcohol (unless it was a dire medical emergency to numb pain or something). Granted, I did not struggle with alcohol, so it was not hard choice for me to make (Even though it is hard for others because they have become addicted to it).
In my putting away of alcohol, I have come to do deep studies on it and have come to the conclusion that it is a mild poison and a highly addictive drug that can control a person's life. I would give him the facts about alcohol.
A study in the UK says that even moderate drinking can cause brain damage.
https://www.theguardian.com/society...inking-can-damage-the-brain-claim-researchers
In 2011, 2.5 million people died from alcohol related reasons.
https://www.ncadd.org/blogs/in-the-news/2-5-million-alcohol-related-deaths-worldwide-annually
The Bible warns against strong intoxicating beverages:
Wine is a mocker (
Proverbs 20:1). Strong drink is raging (
Proverbs 20:1). Whoever is deceived by it is not wise (
Proverbs 20:1). Wine bites like a serpent and stings like an adder (
Proverbs 23:32). Do not look upon wine when it is red in the cup and when it moves itself aright (
Proverbs 23:31). You have not eaten bread, neither have you drunk wine or strong drink: that you might know that I am the LORD your God. (
Deuteronomy 29:6). Who has woe? who has sorrow? who has contentions? who has babbling? who has wounds without cause? who has redness of eyes? (
Proverbs 23:29). They that tarry long at the wine; they that go to seek mixed wine. (
Proverbs 23:30).
"What is Wrong with a Friendly Glass of Beer?"
Author Unknown
I was speaking to a teenager at a high school conference and one fellow came up to me and said, "Now, Doc, I don't drink, and I don't intend to drink, but actually, what is wrong with a friendly glass of beer?"
I said, "Do you know anything about the chemistry of alcohol?"
"No," he said, "I don't."
I said, "Alcohol is one of the greatest blessing God ever gave us."
"Is it? I thought it was just a curse," he said.
"No, it is a great blessing. The two reagents on a chemist's reagents rack which he uses as solvents are alcohol and water. Alcohol dehydrates and it dissolves. It is a marvelous thing. The photographic industry, tinctures, dyes, medicines, all kinds of things make use of alcohol.
There are about 19 kinds of commercial alcohol which brilliant chemists have developed, and we produce them by the tons. The kind of alcohol you drink is one type (ethyl), and the kind you put in your radiator is another kind (methyl). But all alcohols are poisons. In the body, they are going to cause ill effects. The reason is that they dehydrate and they dissolve.
Have you got a little imagination? Let us do a little chemical experiment here in your imagination. Let us take 16 bottles. In the first eight let us put alcohol and in the last eight let us put water. Over here we will see that alcohol dissolves, and here that it hardens.
Take, for example, some kind of fat and put it on water. It will just float around. What if we put fat in alcohol? Shake it up and it will dissolve. Take some resin, put it in alcohol, shake it up and it will dissolve. It goes to the bottom of water and stays. What happens to camphor? It floats on the water. Put it in alcohol and it will dissolve. We have fat, resin, and camphor. They will dissolve in alcohol. Put a green leaf in alcohol and it will take the color out. Now put these things in water and nothing happens. Now shift over here. Put a little bit of bread in alcohol. What will happen? It will get hard. Put a piece of meat in alcohol. What will happen? It will get hard, it dehydrates, it takes the water out of the meat.
Now this dehydrating and dissolving are the characteristics of alcohol which make it a great blessing. But, friends, when it goes down your gullet, it does not know if it is inside or outside. As soon as it gets in there it begins to work in the same way. It is not affected by gastric juices. It is absorbed through the walls of the stomach into the bloodstream and all your nerves and your brain are bathed with it. Every nerve has fatty substance called lipoid and the moment alcohol touches it, what happens? The alcohol dissolves it. When you dissolve the covering and insulation of the nerves, it is just like a telephone exchange with the insulation off. You do not get the message through to the proper source. This is why men stagger. They call for their right leg to act and the left leg gets the message. When alcohol goes into the heart of the nerves, that happens to be like the white of an egg. Alcohol cooks it. Alcohol is a great harm to the human body and mind because of these two properties of dissolving and dehydrating. Furthermore, alcohol is a narcotic, a deterrent of normal body functions. It is poison which adversely affects our judgment and self-control. It is, we believe, a harm to our offspring because it poisons the life-giving cells."
We talked for half an hour; and finally the teenager said, "Sir, that's the first time I have ever had an intelligent answer as to why I shouldn't drink beer. Thank God you told us."
....
"Alcohol is a very effective dissolving agent. It dissolves families, marriages, friendships, jobs, bank accounts, and neurons, but
never problems."
Author Unknown.
