- Jun 1, 2018
- 821
- 539
- 31
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Non-Denom
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
Basically, I am creating this thread because I can't figure out where I am going wrong. I feel like the fruit of the spirit is not as evident as it should be in my life, like more fruit is not being produced, and this is something that should serve as evidence for where a person is with God and whether they are in Christ or not. I must confess also that I sometimes have outbursts of anger. I'm not sure if I need more deliverance, it's something I could get with my pastor on. I know it's not enough to study the scriptures daily, to go to church Sundays and Wednesdays, to tithe, to do all these things that Christians do. I may not be fit to teach, I may not be fit to do a lot of the things that weigh a Christian down with responsibility. I don't know.
I can study all day long but what's the point if I don't write them in my heart and apply them in the daily? I don't feel much different from when I didn't study religiously or have zeal for these things. It's simply more knowledge, and that's it. Of what benefit is that? I'd rather be ignorant of the scriptures and bearing the fruit thereof than being knowledgeable of the scriptures and have little to show for it. It's a searing reminder of 1 Corinthians 13 when I recognize this about myself.
But then I wonder, are these just feelings? And then I say, well what are the fruit of the spirit? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Hmm. Love - My relationship with my wife isn't where I want it to be, I seem to care more about others' salvation than I care about the person. I'm not very joyful, I'm actually quite negative and the only thing that get's me fired up is deeper fellowship or leading someone to Christ - just seeing God move. I'm very patient. I feel like I'm a nice person overall. Idk about goodness really. I am faithful as far as belief in Christ and the bible is concerned, and in my marriage. I'm not the most gentle creature, a little rough around the edges at times... And self control... Hmm I need to think about that one for a bit.
I can't say I have really matured in any of these things since attempting to rededicate myself to the Christian lifestyle. I guess what I'm wondering is how do we experience God on a day to day basis? I mean I believe I do, especially I did at church Wednesday night during praise and worship after choir practice. I don't know, I just feel like I'm missing something.
Last night I imagined what it would be like to live in the times that Jesus walked upon this earth. I imagined myself crossing paths with Jesus. I would think He would allow me to cross paths because I love Him and would want to see Him and He loves me. I imagined whether I would follow Him or not, and I would! I would drop my job and my mortgage to follow Him! But He would probably tell me to go home because I am a married man and need to take care of my wife. And I would be sad because I wouldn't be able to stay with Him and be a part of His ministry.
Maybe this is just a rant, I'm not sure. Anyways, thanks I guess for reading, I just want to bear those fruits. I want to be a person that people can say, "Now there's a GOOD Christian."
I can study all day long but what's the point if I don't write them in my heart and apply them in the daily? I don't feel much different from when I didn't study religiously or have zeal for these things. It's simply more knowledge, and that's it. Of what benefit is that? I'd rather be ignorant of the scriptures and bearing the fruit thereof than being knowledgeable of the scriptures and have little to show for it. It's a searing reminder of 1 Corinthians 13 when I recognize this about myself.
But then I wonder, are these just feelings? And then I say, well what are the fruit of the spirit? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Hmm. Love - My relationship with my wife isn't where I want it to be, I seem to care more about others' salvation than I care about the person. I'm not very joyful, I'm actually quite negative and the only thing that get's me fired up is deeper fellowship or leading someone to Christ - just seeing God move. I'm very patient. I feel like I'm a nice person overall. Idk about goodness really. I am faithful as far as belief in Christ and the bible is concerned, and in my marriage. I'm not the most gentle creature, a little rough around the edges at times... And self control... Hmm I need to think about that one for a bit.
I can't say I have really matured in any of these things since attempting to rededicate myself to the Christian lifestyle. I guess what I'm wondering is how do we experience God on a day to day basis? I mean I believe I do, especially I did at church Wednesday night during praise and worship after choir practice. I don't know, I just feel like I'm missing something.
Last night I imagined what it would be like to live in the times that Jesus walked upon this earth. I imagined myself crossing paths with Jesus. I would think He would allow me to cross paths because I love Him and would want to see Him and He loves me. I imagined whether I would follow Him or not, and I would! I would drop my job and my mortgage to follow Him! But He would probably tell me to go home because I am a married man and need to take care of my wife. And I would be sad because I wouldn't be able to stay with Him and be a part of His ministry.
Maybe this is just a rant, I'm not sure. Anyways, thanks I guess for reading, I just want to bear those fruits. I want to be a person that people can say, "Now there's a GOOD Christian."
