This is a late response as I just found this post, but I wanted to reach out in hopes that what I've learning may help you.
I've struggled with the exact same problem. I didn't have "inexpressible joy" as described in 1 Peter 1:8. I did not have "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding" in Philippians 4:7 either. For me, my walk was back and forth between sin and God in the past, and a few months He has lead me back and I am here to stay.
Yet even in Him guiding me back, I am not filled with these things. I've always thought something was wrong with me, but I have found some others who are the same way. And one thing I've learned that is extremely hard to grasp sometimes is to not trust feelings. Sometimes I am filled with a lot of peace, sometimes I have brief moments of joy and seeing Christ in a new light and I praise and thank Him. But I don't focus on the feelings.
One thing that I've struggled with to is I don't really feel a physical love for Him often. I pray to be changed and love Him, and I see myself slowly changing in that regard, but I've noticed that when I am now presented with the option to sin, how broken am I! I feel a lot of sorrow that I would even consider doing the act, and if I do sin I am broken by what I have done and how I gave in. These feelings developed over time of seeking Him and praying, but I realized that this is what it means to love the Lord, "If you love me, keep my commands." (John 14:15). You are new to Christ, and I am new to truly seeking Him and following Him, and I still fall short and fail often. It takes time walking with Him to develop the fruit of the spirit (Love, joy, patience, kindness, and the others in Galatians 5:22-23)
Jesus says "Whoever comes to me I will in no wise cast out" in John 6:37. If you come to Him and ask Him to forgive your sins and to lead you and guide you He will. I used to think I had to will up the perfect surrender, the perfect repentance, the desire for Him and then I would be accepted and there would be fireworks and I would behold His glory and be overwhelmed with joy, but it never happened. Instead, I've been battling with a torn heart that half wants Him and half doesn't, half sees glimpses of hope and joy in Him and half that feels numb/driven away. Yet I've learned from my pastors and Godly friends that He accepts me as I am. It doesn't matter if I don't feel anything, heck it doesn't matter if even I am feeling negative things like a hard heart or if an overwhelming desire to sin is taking hold of me. I can turn to Christ, and He will save me and deliver me.
If you have come to Christ and asked for forgiveness and to know and live for Him, trust Him. Even if you don't feel anything. I know it can be extremely difficult, I know it can be frustrating when you feel absolutely nothing at times and see others filled with joy. But His promise is true. He loves you and is there for you. Trust Him and seek Him, even if you doubt and your faith is small, all who come to Him He will NEVER cast out or turn away.
One last thing that I want to share too is, I've learned that the fruits of the Spirit are fruits. That is, they start out as seeds. Sometimes they develop really fast, or some grow faster than others. Other times, they start as seeds and grow slowly, sometimes even very slowly. Faith is a journey. When you ask Christ to forgive you and to lead you and guide you, the journey starts. You don't need to experience certain feelings or have perfect faith. You just need to ask and trust, and trust in HIM to change you. He loves you and is for you. If you want to talk or have any other questions please let me know. We go through the same thing, and if the Lord can use what I have been taught to help you, I want to be there for you.
It took me forever to learn- and I still struggle with- that it is trusting in Him to change us and lead us. Even if we don't feel anything, and (in my life and the lives of others) even if we feel a battle in my heart between Him and sin, He doesn't reject us. All we have to do is turn to Him and trust. Even if we struggle to trust if we turn to Him He is faithful and will lead us. I hope this helps and if you want I will pray for you
. You're not alone, and you are definitely not hopeless. Spend time in His word, and try to stick to a plan and decide on a book to read. I don't know where you're at, but one of the gospels or 1 John would be a great book to read. 1 John focuses a lot on assurance of salvation and how to know you're save by Christ, and how to fix your path if you're doing something wrong. Even if you start out reading only a couple times a week, I encourage you to stay in the word and learn from Him. Pray for Him to be with you and teach you before and as you read. Also, if you haven't already, I encourage you to look for a good Church to plug into. One of the major factors of my double-mindedness (going back and forth between living for the world and God) was not being plugged into a fellowship. God led me to an amazing Church, and I made a lot of strong relationships with other believers. This has helped my walk tremendously; we are not designed to do this alone. I hope that you find peace in trusting the Lord even when you don't feel anything. If you want to talk more feel free to let me know
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