Living together but desiring to Preach

are they living together for financial reasons ? trying to get along on one fixed income is very difficult. if they didn t pretend to be married i wouldn t consider that immoral. but since they do i think they should either split up or get married.

i can t think of any scripture right now. if one of them dies there could be a rude awakening for the surivor.

Yes, what they are doing is what they old-fashion way "living in sin." They are holding themselves out as something they are in fact, not -- married. Even if they are rationalizing their "arrangement" for financial justification, it is indeed morally wrong. If it were not, you would not be asking the question, now would you?

If they are still in the church, then this sin needs to be dealt with under church discipline. Otherwise, you are setting an example for your youth if they ever find out and is that the kind of message you want to send?

Either they make a decision to marry or you disassociate church fellowship with them until they repent, then receieve them back into fellowship again.

My prayers are with you and your church family.

Maybe they are married in the eyes of god...where in the new testament is the ceremonal procedure for marriage outlined? So scripturally, how do you know when you are married or not?

Maybe you don't need to light the unity candle to be married.

Married in God's eyes? You mean an ordained Pastor who has been given the authority by the church has already married them officially? They've said their vows b4 God in front of the Pastor?

I my country, you can't even do that without first registering/applying legally.

Dont forget, God tells us to submit to authority of the state too. So
1. The couple is lying by pretending to be married
2. Disobeying the laws of the state
3. Not married in God's eyes. God doesnt do back-door behind the scenes marriages.

one purpose of marriage is to let the whole world know. Yes the husband must be able to 'show off' his bride to all his friends and family, and not do it in secrecy.

It's all wrong, I believe they have no peace about it (another sign from God) and it sure wld be a bad testimony to other Christians when he starts to preach.

He shld get his personal life in order first. Why wont he just get married properly?

Here are a couple of scriptures that may help:

"Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities.  For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God." (Romans 13:1)

"Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed." (Titus 3:1)

The key to these verses is our responsibility to obey the governing authorities which includes the laws that they establish.  I'm not sure if God Himself requires a peice of paper, but our government does and we should be willing to abide by that.  A couple is not legally considered married until they have a marriage certificate.  Besides that, I think we can all agree that those who refuse to do this usually have issues with true commitment.

If that is not enough, maybe this will help.

"But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil." (1 Thess 5:21-22)  The literal translation for the word translated as 'form' is 'appearance'.  We should be on guard always as to how our actions appear to others, both believers and unbelievers.  So many have this sort of mindset: "We love each other and that's all that matters; we don't care what anyone else thinks."  This is a selfish and unloving attitude and unacceptable for a believer in Christ.  What unbelievers see us doing as individuals gives them a certain impression, either good or bad, of Christianity in general.  1 Corinthians chapter 8 deals with taking care with the liberties that we have lest we cause others to stumble.  Even if one feels that living together is marriage in God's eyes (I personally do not), there are many Christians who would have difficulty with this.  That Christian's actions could certainly cause other Christians to stumble.  Especially if the individual was in a public position such as a preacher.  For these reasons, I would agree that this man should not be allowed to preach and he should be counseled by the elders of the church to get legally married.

 

I know this thread is old, but I found it very interesting. It seems to be a good topic of theological discussion...

So my question for you people is...What is your definition of marriage? How does God define marriage Biblically? After defining...do you think in order for two to be considered married in God's eyes they have to have the paper saying so? If so, how do you back this Biblically? Now I am not talking about being examples for others, because I think we would all agree a "paper marriage" is proper for others to view as an example...anyway, just want to see what you peeps think

Blessings,

FOMWatts<><

The trouble is where do you draw the line?

If you say that you can have a marriage in the sight of God without the legal paperwork then you have to establish where and how this occurs.

Do you see the slippery slope here?

God ordained marriage but he also ordained the laws we live by.

O yes I completly agree. I do believe marriage can be compared to public profession of faith in a Christian's life. It is necessary for the public to hold one accountable for their commitment to Christ as it is necessary for the public to hold one accountable to their commitment to their spouse. My opinion really isn't important lol, at least on this issue, because I plan on getting married before God in a church, but I thought this was a very unique situation.

Eager to hear what other's think...

FOM<><

cactusj said:

I need a little help on how to handle a situation. two members of our church--passed retirement age--are living together as man and wife.

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By this, I assume you mean that they have physical relations. If not, there seems to be no problem.

They have been living together since 1997 and very much consider themselves married in the eyes of God.

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How do you define marriage? Is a marriage officiated by a judge or justice of the peace acceptable? If so, does the area you live in recognize common law marriages?

FOMWatts<>< said:

O yes I completly agree. I do believe marriage can be compared to public profession of faith in a Christian's life. It is necessary for the public to hold one accountable for their commitment to Christ as it is necessary for the public to hold one accountable to their commitment to their spouse. My opinion really isn't important lol, at least on this issue, because I plan on getting married before God in a church, but I thought this was a very unique situation.

Eager to hear what other's think...

FOM<><

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Hey, I was married before God in a church and my opinion matters. (At least as far as I'm concerned. )
Why shouldn't yours?

I just meant that the discussion of this wasn't going to cause me to move in with my girlfriend (the one I don't have). HEHEHE!

FOM<><

There's nothing un-Biblical about moving in with an immaginary girlfriend. Provided, of course, you refrain from sleeping together.

Well why not see if the members of the church would be willing to have a special offering for them since they cannot get married due to finances? I'm sure that people there would gladly give to allow such a great thing to happen for them.

But about the preaching: 1st verse to pop in my head is from the Sermon on the Mount.

Matt*7:3 "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
5 Matt*7:4 "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?
6 Matt*7:5 "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

sbbqb7n16 said:

Well why not see if the members of the church would be willing to have a special offering for them since they cannot get married due to finances? I'm sure that people there would gladly give to allow such a great thing to happen for them.

But about the preaching: 1st verse to pop in my head is from the Sermon on the Mount.

Matt*7:3 "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
5 Matt*7:4 "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye?
6 Matt*7:5 "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

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Good idea. My church did that for a couple who were living together unmarried. They married them in the church, I sang at the wedding and we even had a reception for them with the people bringing the food ala pot luck. People even brought gifts.

I thought it was a wonderful way to respond to them and love them. They were greatly blessed and are both active in ministry today.

I wonder if these two people are related and this is why they cannot marry. All we can do is pray. or am I being very naive.