Your situation is complicated, so let's cut through it to the chase. You are a social animal because you are human. It is not good for man to be alone. Isolation enhances your agitation. You need human companionship. You feel hideously ugly and you are tormented with self-consciousness and doubts about that - it cripples you.
It is true, as others have said, that you will do well to have a job and social contact. So let's be blunt: you need a job where people will not judge you based on your appearance, and where you can really do good things that touch peoples hearts, so they can see the goodness in you and appreciate you for that, without caring about your looks. You need social contact, without judgment.
There is a crying need for men exactly like you, and if you answer the call you will find happiness in working in schools for, and rehabilitation of, the blind. You are crippled, and you need people. They are even more crippled, and they desperately need people. They cannot see you, and will never judge you on your appearance, therefore, so you need never be self-conscious. And by giving yourself to work for them and with them, you will be doing the work of angels.
You may also very well find the love of your life, and it be utterly good and wholesome, and both of you find happiness.
So, therefore, go forth and get yourself schooled to work with the blind. Go down and volunteer now - start interacting with your fellow men and women now. You will have all of the human contact you could ever hope for - they are no different, they just cannot see and judge you. Then your looks will not matter, God will smile on you, and you will deal every day with people who love you and appreciate you for who you are.
That is what you should do.
