Spiritual state getting worse don't care if I live or die

Sabertooth · Jul 9, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
That ingredient is called faith. How do you get it if you don't have it?

Read Mark 9:14-29.

In it, Jesus tells a worried father, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”
The father replies, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

And Jesus is willing to do that for you, too. He is the Author and Finisher of your faith.

ubicaritas · Jul 9, 2018

How you are viewing God is far too harsh. You're putting needless psychological burdens on yourself that I believe the Christian faith does not require. Faith does not necessarily have to involve introspective brooding, which is not healthy.

I'd also recommend talking to a licensed therapist. You need a different perspective and you need to talk somebody who is skilled at that sort of thing. If you're a healthcare worker, you may also be dealing with trauma and PTSD due to your job.

I hope you find a measure of peace.

συνείδησις · Jul 9, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
3. Impossible. Jesus does not accept you unless you believe he is accepting you. If it was as simple as just picking a side then there wouldn't be such a problem!

You need to understand the covenant. It's not personal. Remember how GOD talked with Israel about what low lives they were, yet he saved them and was faithful to them because of his covenant with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

συνείδησις · Jul 9, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
I don't think a shepherd would bring a rabid sheep back into the herd. The shepherd seeks out those sheep who have potential to be valuable members of the herd even though they are temporarily missing.

Repentance is not enough. God demands that we possess the hidden knowledge called 'faith'.

GOD seeks out the worthless mutts to glorify his name.

Faith is not hidden knowledge; it's believing what he says and acting on it.

συνείδησις · Jul 9, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
Those three things are easy. He requires a fourth ingredient which is not accessible to everyone. That ingredient is called faith. How do you get it if you don't have it?

Faith comes by hearing the word of GOD. Or reading the word of GOD in my case. Ask GOD to open your understanding. That's the first thing you need and only GOD can give it to you. Ask and you will receive. It's the light that puts all of the pieces together so that we can believe.

W2L · Jul 9, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
I don't think a shepherd would bring a rabid sheep back into the herd. The shepherd seeks out those sheep who have potential to be valuable members of the herd even though they are temporarily missing.

Repentance is not enough. God demands that we possess the hidden knowledge called 'faith'.

Repentance comes from faith. If you have repentance then you have faith.

Presbyterian Continuist · Jul 9, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
1. My extreme self loathing should be a dead giveaway that the answer is "YES"
2. That is what the book says he did
3. Impossible. Jesus does not accept you unless you believe he is accepting you. If it was as simple as just picking a side then there wouldn't be such a problem!
4. I'm putting all my hopes on that....but I don't really trust anyone

If you decide not to believe what the Bible says, then any faith you have is just a blind leap in the dark. The bottom line is that there is a real Personal-Infinite God who created you and to show His care for you, He put a plan of salvation into effect, culminating in giving up His own Son to die for you on the cross. It is not that you believe that Jesus accepts you when you receive Him, it is because Bible says that as many who receive Christ God gives them the right to be called the sons of God.

Southernscotty · Jul 10, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
I'll never call that hotline because I don't value my life at all. If I had any loved ones especially wife and kids then that would be a very different story. As I stand right now my life is completely desolate and disgraceful. I have nothing that is worth preserving except for a very faint hope for a future that is highly improbable.

The future being eternal happiness with God yes, However Friend there are many things to enjoy and be happy about here on earth, You have things many people do not, There are starving people all over the world that would kill to have what you throw away everyday, Do you have hobbies? Do you have one person in the world that cares about and loves you?
Do you have a roof to sleep under when it rains? Do you have good health? Can you walk? Can you get your breath?
You see there are many many things that we take for granted everyday that God has blessed us with and yet we fail to realize these.
I pray that your eyes are opened and you will see what God has given you.
Message me anytime friend and we will talk

DarkSoul999 · Jul 10, 2018

Southernscotty said:
The future being eternal happiness with God yes, However Friend there are many things to enjoy and be happy about here on earth, You have things many people do not, There are starving people all over the world that would kill to have what you throw away everyday, Do you have hobbies? Do you have one person in the world that cares about and loves you?
Do you have a roof to sleep under when it rains? Do you have good health? Can you walk? Can you get your breath?
You see there are many many things that we take for granted everyday that God has blessed us with and yet we fail to realize these.
I pray that your eyes are opened and you will see what God has given you.
Message me anytime friend and we will talk

So I am not yet paralyzed from the neck down and not yet homeless or starving....so what? Relative comfort is meaningless. If anything it magnifies my disgrace. The only thing that has any value is achievement. Getting accepted by Jesus would be the ultimate achievement but I have a better chance of kayaking all the way to Mars at the rate I'm going with that...

I should have been able to accomplish a lot more in life with those resources. I have not found a solution to the wide host of genetic illnesses which plague the population. I can't manage to find funding for cancer treatments for low income patients. I'm not even good enough to find a wife. No, I don't ever act cynical or depressed in real life. I fake happiness every day but people are perceptive. They can see the darkness in me no matter how hard I try to hide it. There are women and children who end up in the ICU because evil husbands/fathers beat them to a bloody pulp. Those men managed to get married and I can't hold a relationship for more than 2 months. So I must be the worst person in the entire world...

This failure is the curse that I will carry for all eternity.

NBB · Jul 10, 2018

Wow you seems to be passing a very hard time.
But. I say that Jesus accepts you, why not you just tell to him to save you, but believe in some way in God and tell Jesus to save you. have a bit of hope in him. He is the saviour that came to mankind. Why assume he is going to reject you?.
'Hunger of the heart, not reasoning of the mind'
Jesus came to fix broken people, not to those who doesn't need anything from him.

JakeyB123 · Jul 10, 2018

You need deliverance. The spirit of suicide is great lately, and I am with you Darksoul, I feel very similar if not the same. It feels that God just isn't there and what's the meaning of life. So broken to the point where you don't care, but I think it's simply demons manifesting to get you to take your life.
I suggest you seek a deliverance ministry, or find a youtube video on casting out demons. They are very real and they will flee from the fire of Jesus Christ.
Also if you need a boost in your faith, or want to see a deliverance minister for example, I suggest you look up "Mark Hemans" on youtube.
Abide in Jesus and he will set you free, nothing Jesus can't cast out, nothing Jesus cannot heal.
Also I suggest you reach out to Mark Hemans, I'm not sure if I can post websites, but its in his youtube channel description.
God bless you, and there is a bright future ahead for you in Jesus name. Not according to this world, but life eternal with the Lord. <3

JakeyB123 · Jul 10, 2018

Also, the tongue has the power of life and death. You need to speak life and have a good conscience, sounds rough and Spirits may be trying to effect your conscious, but stay strong in your conscious, and please, reach out to Mark Hemans, or a deliverance ministry near you. Praise the Lord, I speak LIFE over you in Jesus MIGHTY name!!! LIFE AND LIFE MORE ABUNDANTLY!

JakeyB123 · Jul 10, 2018

Everything your going through, the Lord is going to use it for you to help others going through the same thing, and of course for his glory! Once you abide in him everything will make sense, but from a fleshly perspective none of it will make sense. Trust me I have been there, and its because of unbelief and evil spirits.

Kristen.NewCreation · Jul 10, 2018

This thread has been moved from Struggles by Non-Christians to Christian Advice.

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Southernscotty · Jul 11, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
So I am not yet paralyzed from the neck down and not yet homeless or starving....so what? Relative comfort is meaningless. If anything it magnifies my disgrace. The only thing that has any value is achievement. Getting accepted by Jesus would be the ultimate achievement but I have a better chance of kayaking all the way to Mars at the rate I'm going with that...

I should have been able to accomplish a lot more in life with those resources. I have not found a solution to the wide host of genetic illnesses which plague the population. I can't manage to find funding for cancer treatments for low income patients. I'm not even good enough to find a wife. No, I don't ever act cynical or depressed in real life. I fake happiness every day but people are perceptive. They can see the darkness in me no matter how hard I try to hide it. There are women and children who end up in the ICU because evil husbands/fathers beat them to a bloody pulp. Those men managed to get married and I can't hold a relationship for more than 2 months. So I must be the worst person in the entire world...

This failure is the curse that I will carry for all eternity.

And right here is the answer to all of your problems friend. I don't mean to get hard with but I am going too because some things call for tough love.
Look back at your post. Life isn't all about YOU You have more "I's" and "me's" and than anything else, This is called pride and I am sorry but you need to lose it.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
We are made for GOD's glory not ours and what does He want from us?
Love God with ALL your heart and mind AND love your neighbors as yourself.

This is placing Him first and others right there alongside of ya buddy, So start focusing on making others lives joyful and you will in turn find some joy as well.
Jesus is more than happy to accept you, But are you accepting Him???
If you have, then why are you trying to control the ship because He is the Pilot

JakeyB123 · Jul 11, 2018

Despite what you are going through as Southern mentioned, when you focus on SELF things tend to get a bit rough because there is no love in self! When you focus on others, its all love because its before yourself! See what I'm saying here! Since you WERE in a dark state, now focus on others before self!

DarkSoul999 · Jul 11, 2018

Southernscotty said:
And right here is the answer to all of your problems friend. I don't mean to get hard with but I am going too because some things call for tough love.
Look back at your post. Life isn't all about YOU You have more "I's" and "me's" and than anything else, This is called pride and I am sorry but you need to lose it.
Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.
We are made for GOD's glory not ours and what does He want from us?
Love God with ALL your heart and mind AND love your neighbors as yourself.

This is placing Him first and others right there alongside of ya buddy, So start focusing on making others lives joyful and you will in turn find some joy as well.
Jesus is more than happy to accept you, But are you accepting Him???
If you have, then why are you trying to control the ship because He is the Pilot

So you just totally ignored everything (it) wrote because the pronouns were driving you crazy?

(It) is not made for anything. God does everything independently. If (it) was made for Gods glory then (it) would not be forced to watch thousands of babies die a slow and agonizing death while (it) and the poor family are forced to watch helplessly. (It) does not expect you to understand.

(It) doesn't like you very much

There changed the pronoun does that make you feel better?

DarkSoul999 · Jul 11, 2018

JakeyB123 said:
Despite what you are going through as Southern mentioned, when you focus on SELF things tend to get a bit rough because there is no love in self! When you focus on others, its all love because its before yourself! See what I'm saying here! Since you WERE in a dark state, now focus on others before self!

(It) hates the self. (It) is worthless because (it) has no family. (It) would gladly die right now at this very second so a more worthy person (basically everyone else) would get a chance at a future.

So hopefully you and southern are a bit more at ease now that (it) changed the pronouns...

W2L · Jul 11, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
(It) hates the self. (It) is worthless because (it) has no family. (It) would gladly die right now at this very second so a more worthy person (basically everyone else) would get a chance at a future.

So hopefully you and southern are a bit more at ease now that (it) changed the pronouns...

I feel much the same way about myself.

JakeyB123 · Jul 11, 2018

DarkSoul999 said:
(It) hates the self. (It) is worthless because (it) has no family. (It) would gladly die right now at this very second so a more worthy person (basically everyone else) would get a chance at a future.

So hopefully you and southern are a bit more at ease now that (it) changed the pronouns...

I know this sounds wild.... But just try to be happy, if you don't have a family go get a family, whatever negative is in your life, knock it out of your life

Spiritual state getting worse don't care if I live or die

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