Close to suicide.

Arthur B Via · Jun 22, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Arthur thank you so much for being there for me. But to be honest, maybe I am filled with love, but somehow God made me meet this woman and completely destroy it. So love does not exist. God doesn’t even approve it.

No! That's the awful pain in your heart, that I also know Jordan, and as difficult as it seems, it WILL pass and you'll find a beautiful girl someday. I'm adamant about this Jordan, because it happened to me... Hang tough!

pinkjess · Jun 22, 2018

Brother, the pain you are going through right now is like a deep, dark forest. You are scared and feel like you can't move on from this girl but I promise you--with each step, each day you take onward is one step further away from the deep heartache you feel. It may not feel like it will ever get better...but if you keep going forward, you will look back one day and see all the pain is behind you, covered by trees and bushes. This analogy has gotten me through so much in my life. And it is true.

I have been heartbroken over guys and have felt I could never get over them. But as I get older i learn that as long as you keep going on, living your days, you will one day find the ache in your chest isn't as heavy as it is now.

God bless you. It will be okay.

Sketcher · Jun 22, 2018

JordanL103 said:
My relationship has fallen apart. The girl I loved so dearly for 6 years has left me, and I always thought she was the one. In fact I still do, I don’t mean to sound obsessive or opinionated l, but I still just have that gut feel that she’s the one that’s meant to be. I know in the past I’ve hurt her a bunch of times, but I was young and I love her. But this time I tried to save this relationship but it was no good. Friends say I wasn’t trying hard enough but there’s nothing more that I can do. Everyday I live in nightmares and live like a zombie because I just cannot think. Just a few days ago, for the first time in my entire life I woke up crying. I guess I finally just had it.

Sorry for your loss there. It won't always be that bad. It will be that bad for too long, and I can't tell you how long that will be because it varies. But it will fade.

JordanL103 said:
And life is just... I don’t know how to say this but I know that this life I’m currently living is not aligned with who I really am or for the real purpose of me being in this world.

Who are you really? What is your purpose? And how can you re-align with that?

JordanL103 said:
I know you all say that God has a purpose and plan for all of us but I really cannot see it.

Ephesians 2:10 has it.

JordanL103 said:
And I cannot feel the love and presence of God at all.

And you won't always feel it. Feeling it doesn't even need to be normal. That doesn't mean that God doesn't exist, or cannot be reached, or does not love you.

JordanL103 said:
I’m so close to renouncing my faith, I don’t wanna donthat but it has became to a point where I’m near giving up. And I know you all say that a better life awaits if we just be patient and hang on, but what you don’t understand is I am suffering right “now” and I cannot hold on much longer.

Renouncing your faith won't make it better. Besides, renouncing your faith because of a breakup makes no logical sense. What about that breakup contradicts the Nicene Creed?

JordanL103 said:
Suicide has once again popped into my head quite a few times today. I don’t know where God is. I am close to losing it and be still has not given me any hope or let me see any way out. I am so tired of this life I lm thinking maybe I should just end the pain myself because I’ve waited and waited and God has not changed a thing.

You think that will end the pain? Rather than be the beginning of pain that is far worse than what you have ever felt? If not Hell, what's going to happen to your own body is going to be painful enough.

JordanL103 said:
Maybe I’ll go to hell but what’s the difference. I’m living in hell right now.

No you're not. You're going through anguish. You probably have not gone through legitimate torture. Legitimate Earthly torture is preferable to the torments of Hell.

JordanL103 said:
Everyone talks about God miraculously healing them. Why won’t He do that for me? Why won’t He take away even a little of the pain? Why won’t He give me even a little relief?

Well, there are plenty of people who haven't received a miraculous, complete healing. God has directly helped me with some issues, but he hasn't always taken heartbreak away from me. He did that once. I don't know that he did after that, there has been one incident after that in which I know he did not take that away at all. The point is, this pain that has afflicted you is common to man, though intensity varies with circumstance.

JordanL103 said:
How does He expect me to believe that He is real and He is good when He treats me like crap?

God's treating you like crap now? He didn't leave you. Your ex left you.

Emerald518 · Jun 22, 2018

Be assured that there is someone else out there who knows exactly how you feel. EXACTLY. Three years ago, God opened a door for me and because of some wrong beliefs I had at the time, I didn't walk through it and my life has been terrible ever since. Like you, I know I'm not living the life I should be and that God had planned for me because I missed it, and I often wonder if He decided that He didn't want me or anything good for me anymore because of what I failed to do. And like you, I'd give anything for another chance to do it over again because what He had for me back there was so perfect it can't be described in human language. I've thought about ending my own life too, but He, the fear of hell and the thought of what my family will go through if I do it have stopped me every single time. I cant send private messages yet because i havent posted enough with this account, but if you need to talk to anyone who knows what you're going through, I'm right here and not going anywhere anytime soon...

PaulCyp1 · Jun 22, 2018

<staff edit> it would also be a good idea to make an appointment with a clergyman you trust.

Celticroots · Jun 22, 2018

<staff edit>
If you feel you cannot keep yourself safe, get to the ER immediately. As someone who lost a loved one to suicide please do not do it. It devastates those left behind.

thesunisout · Jun 23, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Hello everyone,
I have been a faithful Christian ever since I was 4 or 5. And I always believed that God had a will and plan for everyone and he is always there for us. Most importantly, I always believed that he will never give us more than we can handle. But recently, I am starting to collapse.

Psalm 34:18

The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Some people talk about Christianity in euphemisms, some of which you mentioned. For instance, when people tell you not to be sad because God has a plan for your life, etc. That isn't what Christianity is about. Christianity is only about one thing; Jesus Christ. He is Who and what you need. You need Jesus, friend, more than anyone or anything else in your life. He is the only one who can save and restore your life. You literally can't do anything without Him:

John 15:5

I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who remains in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me you can do nothing.

If you feel God has always been far away and never answers your prayers, <staff edit> Pray this from your heart to Jesus:

Jesus, I cannot do this without you. I am asking you to forgive my sins and come into my life as Lord and Savior. I want you to give me a new life and be my shepherd. Give me a heart that loves you and wants to follow you and do your will. I surrender myself to you, Lord. Please pick me up and carry me in your arms. Please make me into a new person who can experience your joy and peace. I give my life to you, please fill me with the Holy Spirit. Amen

Jesus promises never to leave you or forsake you. He will always be there for you. Jesus said that everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.

anna ~ grace · Jun 23, 2018

<staff edit>
Do not give in. Some losses are horrible, almost too much to bear. But hold on. Christ is with you, look at Him. And with His strength and loving mercy, keep going. You can do this.

anna ~ grace · Jun 23, 2018

Christ is worth it, He is worth it, and as He has never done anything to us but die for us and call us to follow Him, He deserves and will supply our love of Him, and help us follow Him. Those simplistic, child-like thoughts have encouraged and helped me more than I can explain, many times. Christ is worth it.

Strong in Him · Jun 23, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Arthur thank you so much for being there for me. But to be honest, maybe I am filled with love, but somehow God made me meet this woman and completely destroy it. So love does not exist. God doesn’t even approve it.

God IS love.

John Ashcraft · Jun 23, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Hello everyone,
I have been a faithful Christian ever since I was 4 or 5. And I always believed that God had a will and plan for everyone and he is always there for us. Most importantly, I always believed that he will never give us more than we can handle. But recently, I am starting to collapse.

Everyday I’m getting near the end and I don’t think I can hang in there much longer. Life has been hell for me, today I finally let go and cried so painfully because I just cannot hold it in much longer. My relationship has fallen apart. The girl I loved so dearly for 6 years has left me, and I always thought she was the one. In fact I still do, I don’t mean to sound obsessive or opinionated l, but I still just have that gut feel that she’s the one that’s meant to be. I know in the past I’ve hurt her a bunch of times, but I was young and I love her. But this time I tried to save this relationship but it was no good. Friends say I wasn’t trying hard enough but there’s nothing more that I can do. Everyday I live in nightmares and live like a zombie because I just cannot think. Just a few days ago, for the first time in my entire life I woke up crying. I guess I finally just had it. And life is just... I don’t know how to say this but I know that this life I’m currently living is not aligned with who I really am or for the real purpose of me being in this world.

Everyday I feel like I’m further off from what I truly should be living. I don’t know how I can describe it to you guys but I just know this is not the kind of life I should be living and I have absolutely no power to change that. I am not who I really am and I’m just not in sync with this current life. I know you all say that God has a purpose and plan for all of us but I really cannot see it. And I cannot feel the love and presence of God at all. I’m so close to renouncing my faith, I don’t wanna donthat but it has became to a point where I’m near giving up. And I know you all say that a better life awaits if we just be patient and hang on, but what you don’t understand is I am suffering right “now” and I cannot hold on much longer.

Suicide has once again popped into my head quite a few times today. I don’t know where God is. I am close to losing it and be still has not given me any hope or let me see any way out. I am so tired of this life I lm thinking maybe I should just end the pain myself because I’ve waited and waited and God has not changed a thing. So from now on there is no hope in me. I don’t know where God is and I cannot deal with this anymore. I pray and pray but nothing ever happened. And so I give up. Don’t know how much longer it takes to give up my life but it’s heading in that direction. I cannot suffer any longer. Maybe I’ll go to hell but what’s the difference. I’m living in hell right now. I used to be the most outgoing, positive and optimistic person ever. I always bring joy to other people. But maybe God doesn’t like that because I am close to losing it.

Everyone talks about God miraculously healing them. Why won’t He do that for me? Why won’t He take away even a little of the pain? Why won’t He give me even a little relief? How does He expect me to believe that He is real and He is good when He treats me like crap?

and I refuse to just sit around and wait for our “loving” God to decide I’ve been tormented enough. I’d rather end the pain myself.

May the peace of God that passes all understanding cover your body, soul spirit, and mind for all of eternity. The rapture is this week of 6 24 2018.

Jerri · Jun 23, 2018

13yrs ago my young marriage ended. To say I was devastated is an understatement. I was in so much pain I believed i would die. I cried for like 3yrs straight whenever I was in private. Today God has healed my heart. I never thought I would move on. I was so embarrassed, torn apart. It literally felt debilitating. The other day I was praying and was telling God that I can't remember that pain. When my partner left God told me they would be back in fact this morning in a dream God was showing me the preparations He's making to restore my marriage.

Listen Jordan there's life after the pain. God will get you through it. He's a reedemer of relationships, time and all manner of resources. And if He feels that relationship was not it, it can only get better. I have had suicidal thoughts many times over that issue and many others but God always denies me the strength to get through with it. I pray that God sends intervention your way right now and mostly in your darkest moments.

Much love from me to you. You are in my prayers :groupray:

Jude1:3Contendforthefaith · Jun 23, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Hello everyone,
I have been a faithful Christian ever since I was 4 or 5. And I always believed that God had a will and plan for everyone and he is always there for us. Most importantly, I always believed that he will never give us more than we can handle. But recently, I am starting to collapse.

Everyday I’m getting near the end and I don’t think I can hang in there much longer. Life has been hell for me, today I finally let go and cried so painfully because I just cannot hold it in much longer. My relationship has fallen apart. The girl I loved so dearly for 6 years has left me, and I always thought she was the one. In fact I still do, I don’t mean to sound obsessive or opinionated l, but I still just have that gut feel that she’s the one that’s meant to be. I know in the past I’ve hurt her a bunch of times, but I was young and I love her. But this time I tried to save this relationship but it was no good. Friends say I wasn’t trying hard enough but there’s nothing more that I can do. Everyday I live in nightmares and live like a zombie because I just cannot think. Just a few days ago, for the first time in my entire life I woke up crying. I guess I finally just had it. And life is just... I don’t know how to say this but I know that this life I’m currently living is not aligned with who I really am or for the real purpose of me being in this world.

Everyday I feel like I’m further off from what I truly should be living. I don’t know how I can describe it to you guys but I just know this is not the kind of life I should be living and I have absolutely no power to change that. I am not who I really am and I’m just not in sync with this current life. I know you all say that God has a purpose and plan for all of us but I really cannot see it. And I cannot feel the love and presence of God at all. I’m so close to renouncing my faith, I don’t wanna donthat but it has became to a point where I’m near giving up. And I know you all say that a better life awaits if we just be patient and hang on, but what you don’t understand is I am suffering right “now” and I cannot hold on much longer.

Suicide has once again popped into my head quite a few times today. I don’t know where God is. I am close to losing it and be still has not given me any hope or let me see any way out. I am so tired of this life I lm thinking maybe I should just end the pain myself because I’ve waited and waited and God has not changed a thing. So from now on there is no hope in me. I don’t know where God is and I cannot deal with this anymore. I pray and pray but nothing ever happened. And so I give up. Don’t know how much longer it takes to give up my life but it’s heading in that direction. I cannot suffer any longer. Maybe I’ll go to hell but what’s the difference. I’m living in hell right now. I used to be the most outgoing, positive and optimistic person ever. I always bring joy to other people. But maybe God doesn’t like that because I am close to losing it.

Everyone talks about God miraculously healing them. Why won’t He do that for me? Why won’t He take away even a little of the pain? Why won’t He give me even a little relief? How does He expect me to believe that He is real and He is good when He treats me like crap?

and I refuse to just sit around and wait for our “loving” God to decide I’ve been tormented enough. I’d rather end the pain myself.

Lord Jesus God in The Name Of The Father The Son And Holy Spirit Please comfort this Man and give him peace from You Amen. Flood his heart with joy and love from You God Amen. Please drive away all evil spirits causing this torment Amen.

Jordan No woman on this earth is worth your relationship with The Lord Jesus Christ. If she leaves it's her loss Period. Put the situation in God's hands.

PatrickR · Jun 23, 2018

God desires our good in this life. He wants us to thrive. Sometimes we cannot see Him at all, and we feel alone. But God knows us more inimately than anybody, and desires to draw near to us. Keep trying to draw near to Him, in prayer and mayb

PatrickR · Jun 23, 2018

<staff edit> Be strong, know you are in my prayers, and feel free to contact me if you need anything.
God bless you

Celticroots · Jun 23, 2018

<staff edit>

To the OP how are you feeling now?

LynnC · Jun 23, 2018

View media item 59444
Greetings Jordan,
Are you familiar with the stages of grief? Do not fight them. Be willing to go through them. It will ease the journey... the way forward.

Many have suffered the same kind of grief you are going through, and it seems it will be never ending, and it feels like you are dying... feels like something in you has died.... but these wounds do heal. Cling to God to get you through the dark night. Seek His purpose, and acceptance of His will for your life (turning over your own will, and your own desires, and your own plans) will bring you through.

'by His wounds, we are healed'
Even Jesus was aggrieved. <staff edit>

I am praying for you, that God will ease you through your pain on this journey, and that you will find your way forward soon. Peace and blessings be upon your heart.

Danielwright2311 · Jun 23, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Hello everyone,
I have been a faithful Christian ever since I was 4 or 5. And I always believed that God had a will and plan for everyone and he is always there for us. Most importantly, I always believed that he will never give us more than we can handle. But recently, I am starting to collapse.

Everyday I’m getting near the end and I don’t think I can hang in there much longer. Life has been hell for me, today I finally let go and cried so painfully because I just cannot hold it in much longer. My relationship has fallen apart. The girl I loved so dearly for 6 years has left me, and I always thought she was the one. In fact I still do, I don’t mean to sound obsessive or opinionated l, but I still just have that gut feel that she’s the one that’s meant to be. I know in the past I’ve hurt her a bunch of times, but I was young and I love her. But this time I tried to save this relationship but it was no good. Friends say I wasn’t trying hard enough but there’s nothing more that I can do. Everyday I live in nightmares and live like a zombie because I just cannot think. Just a few days ago, for the first time in my entire life I woke up crying. I guess I finally just had it. And life is just... I don’t know how to say this but I know that this life I’m currently living is not aligned with who I really am or for the real purpose of me being in this world.

Everyday I feel like I’m further off from what I truly should be living. I don’t know how I can describe it to you guys but I just know this is not the kind of life I should be living and I have absolutely no power to change that. I am not who I really am and I’m just not in sync with this current life. I know you all say that God has a purpose and plan for all of us but I really cannot see it. And I cannot feel the love and presence of God at all. I’m so close to renouncing my faith, I don’t wanna donthat but it has became to a point where I’m near giving up. And I know you all say that a better life awaits if we just be patient and hang on, but what you don’t understand is I am suffering right “now” and I cannot hold on much longer.

Suicide has once again popped into my head quite a few times today. I don’t know where God is. I am close to losing it and be still has not given me any hope or let me see any way out. I am so tired of this life I lm thinking maybe I should just end the pain myself because I’ve waited and waited and God has not changed a thing. So from now on there is no hope in me. I don’t know where God is and I cannot deal with this anymore. I pray and pray but nothing ever happened. And so I give up. Don’t know how much longer it takes to give up my life but it’s heading in that direction. I cannot suffer any longer. Maybe I’ll go to hell but what’s the difference. I’m living in hell right now. I used to be the most outgoing, positive and optimistic person ever. I always bring joy to other people. But maybe God doesn’t like that because I am close to losing it.

Everyone talks about God miraculously healing them. Why won’t He do that for me? Why won’t He take away even a little of the pain? Why won’t He give me even a little relief? How does He expect me to believe that He is real and He is good when He treats me like crap?

and I refuse to just sit around and wait for our “loving” God to decide I’ve been tormented enough. I’d rather end the pain myself.

In life we all befall heart break and terrors and horrid things, this is a part of life.

This is why we marry God and Jesus and live for them and not any relationship a woman can give us or any man, for the woman.

It is God who we will live forever with, it is him who we wish to live with.

People die and then what? more loss.

In divorce or death or separation it hurts as you fell betrayed, but remember this, you will never in this life hold on to any one, ever.

But we have each other as brothers and sisters and you can count on me and others to be there for you no matter what.

So you are not alone, always remember this fact.

ByTheSpirit · Jun 23, 2018

JordanL103 said:
Hello everyone,
I have been a faithful Christian ever since I was 4 or 5. And I always believed that God had a will and plan for everyone and he is always there for us. Most importantly, I always believed that he will never give us more than we can handle. But recently, I am starting to collapse.

Everyday I’m getting near the end and I don’t think I can hang in there much longer. Life has been hell for me, today I finally let go and cried so painfully because I just cannot hold it in much longer. My relationship has fallen apart. The girl I loved so dearly for 6 years has left me, and I always thought she was the one. In fact I still do, I don’t mean to sound obsessive or opinionated l, but I still just have that gut feel that she’s the one that’s meant to be. I know in the past I’ve hurt her a bunch of times, but I was young and I love her. But this time I tried to save this relationship but it was no good. Friends say I wasn’t trying hard enough but there’s nothing more that I can do. Everyday I live in nightmares and live like a zombie because I just cannot think. Just a few days ago, for the first time in my entire life I woke up crying. I guess I finally just had it. And life is just... I don’t know how to say this but I know that this life I’m currently living is not aligned with who I really am or for the real purpose of me being in this world.

Everyday I feel like I’m further off from what I truly should be living. I don’t know how I can describe it to you guys but I just know this is not the kind of life I should be living and I have absolutely no power to change that. I am not who I really am and I’m just not in sync with this current life. I know you all say that God has a purpose and plan for all of us but I really cannot see it. And I cannot feel the love and presence of God at all. I’m so close to renouncing my faith, I don’t wanna donthat but it has became to a point where I’m near giving up. And I know you all say that a better life awaits if we just be patient and hang on, but what you don’t understand is I am suffering right “now” and I cannot hold on much longer.

Suicide has once again popped into my head quite a few times today. I don’t know where God is. I am close to losing it and be still has not given me any hope or let me see any way out. I am so tired of this life I lm thinking maybe I should just end the pain myself because I’ve waited and waited and God has not changed a thing. So from now on there is no hope in me. I don’t know where God is and I cannot deal with this anymore. I pray and pray but nothing ever happened. And so I give up. Don’t know how much longer it takes to give up my life but it’s heading in that direction. I cannot suffer any longer. Maybe I’ll go to hell but what’s the difference. I’m living in hell right now. I used to be the most outgoing, positive and optimistic person ever. I always bring joy to other people. But maybe God doesn’t like that because I am close to losing it.

Everyone talks about God miraculously healing them. Why won’t He do that for me? Why won’t He take away even a little of the pain? Why won’t He give me even a little relief? How does He expect me to believe that He is real and He is good when He treats me like crap?

and I refuse to just sit around and wait for our “loving” God to decide I’ve been tormented enough. I’d rather end the pain myself.

I'm sorry you are at this point in life, no matter how old you are. I have had spells where I wished and prayed for death because I was too scared to do it myself, so believe me when I say I know how you feel. And it is not fun I know.

My advice? Do something new. Seek out a new adventure.

Sometimes getting out of the rut of life gives us a new perspective on things. As others have stated, you are still quite young and life is full of hills and valleys. Dont let a deep valley take away the promise of the future. The path God takes us on has many twists and turns. Many directions that seem wayward to us but his GPS has never missed.

I know the pain I do. I know the heartache. I am sad for you knowing how it feels to hate every single breath you take. May Yahweh give you respite from the anguish you feel and provide you some rest.

LoricaLady · Jun 23, 2018

Praying for you.

Close to suicide.

Art

There she goes...at the speed of sound

Born Imperishable

Active Member

Well-Known Member

Newbie

growing in grace

Newbie

Newbie

Great is thy faithfulness

New Member

Active Member

Well-Known Member

"Pray, hope, and don't worry." -St. Padre Pio

"Pray, hope, and don't worry." -St. Padre Pio

Newbie

seeker of Truth

Well-Known Member

Come Lord Jesus

YHWH's

Similar threads