Does sacrifice indicate love?

my go to guy when it comes to relationship advice is myles munroe...

there was a book i read in the past, about that when you are in relationship, in the beginning stages it is already important to both lay down your expectations of each other, and also in terms of money and gifts.

I wouldn’t love much less stay with someone who didn’t put the same amount of effort into a relationship, unless they had a disability, but even then I probably couldn’t deal with having to do everything long term(I have a disability myself.) It’s why I broke up with my first boyfriend- the fact that he didn’t seem interested and never planned outings.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

N

No but in a relationship I feel it keeps you from being used. If you're doing more than the other and going out of your way and giving up everything while they aren't... I think it's clear the love is one sided.

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Gods love is not mans love. His faithfulness endures forever.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

But what if you give your all and get nothing in return..like my friend for example, he spent 2k on his gf and took on a cruise..he helped her move ( she's 5 hours away) and she didn't get him an anniversary gift nor does she visit him.

The amount of effort doesn't match up.

Would you be okay with doing something like that?

Is that a good indication she doesn't love him?

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Some people truly, truly don't know what love is. The more "enthusiastic" of us who love (perhaps hard, as it were,) are always in danger of judging what we think is superficiality in love. In reality, people dont actually know love, so when two dynamically unique individuals come together in "love," likely someone is going to get hurt - based on different interpretations of love.

Unfortunately, most all relationships will have one member who loves more than the other. It is double-edged, because loving people love through adversity, and many people take advantage of those characteristics.

There are ways to feign love - especially through sacrifice.

I don't think both people need to always give exactly the same amount at all times. For instance, if one spouse is in poor health, the other spouse might take care of more household responsibilities until the other one gets better. Each person has to step up and do more, in different seasons, and that's okay. The problem arises when one person is continually giving of themselves and their efforts are not appreciated. Showing appreciation is very important.

Keeping score is not fair either, but if one person in a relationship distinctly feels that they are not being appreciated, it can cause resentment and eventually the end of the relationship. It should be more or less a balanced give and take over time. Also, people have different abilities and ways of showing love. A husband may show love by working and providing for the family, whereas a wife cooks the meals and does the majority of the child raising (just an example). Neither is more important than the other, even though they show their love in different ways.

John 15:13 13Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends.

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God's love is sacrificial. Love is a two way street. Being sacrificial for God in working to build his Kingdom and bearing your cross helps a man grow in faith. This is good.

In terms of relationships.....love is a two ways street. Reason needs to used.

A man is courting a young woman. Should he be sacrificing for her? Probably not. It may work in terms of wooing her....sometimes, depending on the woman, but given there is no commitment, and no reciprocation, it would make him look foolish?

Far Side Of the Moon said:

She just doesn't. She has the ability to see him but she doesn't...not even talk to him on the phone ...yet he loves her dearly.

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well....i don't know what she feels in her heart....and i don't know the reason why shes not visiting him but that's a little strange...i feel bad now...i feel funny talking about someone who i don't even know..
and i don't think you should worry about it so much....

Far Side Of the Moon said:

(speaking in the context of relationships)

My friend told me of a good sermon or video and it was on this topic about

Basically if the sacrifices are one sided...

Maybe the other person doesn't love you as much.

Love, from what the video and my friend stated can be indicated by how much you're sacrificing... Whether it's time ,money ..energy ect ....

If you're the only one doing it...
What does that mean for and about the other person?

Is it possible for someone to love you if they don't match the same effort and sacrifes you're putting into the relationship ( whether it be friendship or otherwise?)

Is it possible to say that you love someone when you haven't given as much as they have or gone the same length as them?

Wdy think?

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If you sacrifice for someone, you don't do it to get a certain response from them. If you "sacrifice" for someone to get them to "sacrifice" for you, that is greed and pride and selfishness. I don't consider that to be love.

Christ demonstrated the ultimate sacrifice, but He did not do it for the response of those whom He is saving, but because He is the perfect one and He is grace and mercy.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

(speaking in the context of relationships)

My friend told me of a good sermon or video and it was on this topic about

Basically if the sacrifices are one sided...

Maybe the other person doesn't love you as much.

Love, from what the video and my friend stated can be indicated by how much you're sacrificing... Whether it's time ,money ..energy ect ....

If you're the only one doing it...
What does that mean for and about the other person?

Is it possible for someone to love you if they don't match the same effort and sacrifes you're putting into the relationship ( whether it be friendship or otherwise?)

Is it possible to say that you love someone when you haven't given as much as they have or gone the same length as them?

Wdy think?

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God loves us unconditionally without requiring anything back. That's the message of the cross. What He ultimately desires, however, is our love in return even as He must aid us in achieving this. In any case, yes, we absolutely can love another person without that love being reciprocal. Parents more or less do it with children, but adults also with adults. It can be quite painful, especially if the object of ones love is harming themselves in some way and you wish to intervene, etc. But that is exactly where love often tends to focus itself on; there's lots of need for it out there.

Poppyseed78 said:

I don't think both people need to always give exactly the same amount at all times. For instance, if one spouse is in poor health, the other spouse might take care of more household responsibilities until the other one gets better. Each person has to step up and do more, in different seasons, and that's okay. The problem arises when one person is continually giving of themselves and their efforts are not appreciated. Showing appreciation is very important.

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Your love should be (more or less) equal with the partner(s) in relationships. They may be different, but the love should be the same - don't you agree?

Keeping score is not fair either, but if one person in a relationship distinctly feels that they are not being appreciated, it can cause resentment and eventually the end of the relationship. It should be more or less a balanced give and take over time. Also, people have different abilities and ways of showing love. A husband may show love by working and providing for the family, whereas a wife cooks the meals and does the majority of the child raising (just an example). Neither is more important than the other, even though they show their love in different ways.

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Love is pure; it is an abstraction that can almost be substantiated by concreteness.

Almost.

Unfortunately, most people do not know what love is. A husband, for example, is supposed to work and provide for his family; that is not a (de)merit of his love for his family either way. In other words, if a husband could not provide for his family (for whatever reason,) it does not negate his love for his family. What, then, is the measure for love?

Far Side Of the Moon said:

But what if you give your all and get nothing in return..like my friend for example, he spent 2k on his gf and took on a cruise..he helped her move ( she's 5 hours away) and she didn't get him an anniversary gift nor does she visit him.

The amount of effort doesn't match up.

Would you be okay with doing something like that?

Is that a good indication she doesn't love him?

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Probably .

Far Side Of the Moon said:

No in the context of a relationship, that's what I'm talking about, if someone didn't put in the same affort ,enegery and time into you as you did to them... I'm sure you'd probably think they don't care about you...if you're always reaching out to them ect.

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I have been seen relationships in which one party will "sacrifice" themselves for the purposes of keeping the other party "from" something - in the (distorted) name of love.

That is obsession - another abstraction most humans confuse for love. So, sacrifice means nothing unless the heart is there for the right reasons. Since most people do not know what love is, sacrifice is always an issue of confusion with respect to love.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

I'm saying what if the person does nothing at all? It's not a competition but it does let you know on some level if the other person cares about you. We show people we love them through actions

If the person isn't willing to do close to nothing and you're doing everything... You have nothing to base their love off of.

Because they aren't showing you they love you really.

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A relationship requires at least two people ,and if someone is giving always, and the other is not , then it is not a relationship , it's exploitation .
The best thing to do is to bring it to an end 'toute de suite ' .(immediately )

Kaon said:

Your love should be (more or less) equal with the partner(s) in relationships. They may be different, but the love should be the same - don't you agree?



Love is pure; it is an abstraction that can almost be substantiated by concreteness.

Almost.

Unfortunately, most people do not know what love is. A husband, for example, is supposed to work and provide for his family; that is not a (de)merit of his love for his family either way. In other words, if a husband could not provide for his family (for whatever reason,) it does not negate his love for his family. What, then, is the measure for love?

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Being aware of the other ,and caring about their welfare etc. You say Could not , fine , but if he Would not, that is an other thing ,non ?
And women today should work too if they are in a position to do so .

Far Side Of the Moon said:

In the context of a relationship...if you had a daughter or son and they were being used or giving more into the relationship than the other person... Wouldn't you tell them to wake up ? So they wouldn't waste their life on someone that doesn't care about them?

** I'm speaking in the context of a relationship...friendship/ significant other ...fyi

Thanks for the response

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I understand. No, I wouldn't encourage anyone to willing put themselves in a situation romantically with someone who did know and did not practice Christ's self-sacrificing love. Such a person would not be an aid to a deeper relationship with God and as such would be the very sort of person Scripture warns believers to avoid (see 2 Corinthians 6:14-18)

I know the love of Jesus did , the love of God did, so yes , to say no to the world and yes to God

fat wee robin said:

Being aware of the other ,and caring about their welfare etc. You say Could not , fine , but if he Would not, that is an other thing ,non ?
And women today should work too if they are in a position to do so .

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If he WILL NOT work, or try to work, then perhaps he is not a husband.


I am not talking about being unable to find work in a recession - after sending 100s of resumes each week. I am not talking about someone who is blacklisted (especially for standing for the truth). Unfortunately (because most humans do not know what love is,) we penalize people who do not fit the status quo qualification and image of what we romanticize as a "husband/wife/mother/father/etc."

As you said, for example, a wife would also try to work while the husband is looking for work, or even paralyzed by a hurt ego and rejection. She would support the household while the husband gets his groove back, and the opposite case is true (husband should support the wife.) I have also seen relationships in which the male cheats on the female who has a miscarriage. On one hand, this is an understandable response from a male (in terms of "procreation fever,") but love would prevent this carnal response. These are trials all relationships go through; it isn't unique to a husband/wife. My own former best friends have failed the qualifications for real loving relationships (and/or, I have failed them.) That is why love - as it is today - is confusion.

Love is patient, and love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not easily angered, it does not keep records, and it is not self-seeking. It does not return to you void, but instead protects, trusts, hopes and preserves. Knowledge, prophecies and paradigms will pass away, but love never fails. It is deep on purpose, because it satisfies all of these qualities (and more.) So, it is important people are truly committed to these things before they claim love (and, not some other abstraction.)