DIVORCE

I have been doing a lot of reading lately about the last days and end times.

Some of the books and articles that I have read point out that Christians are divorcing at the same rate as non-Christians. I have difficulty comprehending such a thing. I grew up at a time when I cannot remember one single Christian divorcing. I can't remember many non-Christians divorcing.

My wife and I have been married for 48 years and although we have been through some difficult times, divorcing was never an option.

When we got married we vowed unto death us do part. Whenever we have been through difficult times and it would be very easy to throw in the towel and divorce, I am always reminded of my vow.

If we have not died and our marriage has not died then divorce is not an option and if our marriage has not died and it hasn't not whilst we have breath as God can solve any problem.

I admit we have been very fortunate as we have not been unfaithful to each other. I have not beaten my wife....once or anything like that, but we are not perfect and like most marriages, it needs working on. When you stop working on it you tend to throw in the towel and take the easy road and divorce.

So the question is, how on earth can you be an example to the non-believer if you have been divorced? Doesn't your divorce queer the pitch for every believer?

Lost4words said:

No two people are the same. Not everyone has the relationship you have. You have been truly blessed.

I know several Christians who have gotten divorced. Maybe they just werent compatible. God must know that not every marriage will stand the test of time. He did create us.

For me, being single seems so natural. Marriage is not for everyone.

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I did not say marriage is for everyone. And yes divorce is allowed in New Testament scripture but not as the preferred option.

But it doesn't alter the fact that when I was growing up, I did not know of one single Christian couple who divorced. That tells me the parameters have changed for Christians today and marriage is no longer sacred. if it was, you would fight like hell to keep it intact.

Sabertooth said:

@Episaw , ever since my wife has acquired depression, she has flirted with the notion of divorce. I have not, but I cannot make her stay if she decides, one day, to pull that trigger.

Divorce statistics do not necessarily reflect the intent of both persons in a couple, just like sexual neglect may be only the fault of one (and not the other).

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I agree but there is always hope whilst you are still together.

Brightmoon said:

My ex was violent . I kicked him to the curb . I don’t have a problem with divorce if someone’s mental or physical health is being compromised. No one should stay with an abuser or be forced to stay with an abuser just because a religious leader doesn’t like it. On paper it might look good not to divorce but that kind of toxic stress exacts a terrible physical toll.

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I agree, but that is the exception, not the rule. I only know of one Christian who beat his wife and the church counselled him and saved the marriage.

christine40 said:

despite being Christians and married in the church, don't think marriage is easy

so to answer your question, don't know that answer

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As I made very clear in my original post, our marriage was not easy but we refused to countenance divorce.

christine40 said:

also, agree with above poster, in case of domestic violence, a women needs to leave a marriage for her own safety and that of her children

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I agree, but we are not talking about domestic violence. We are talking about people who walk away because they refused to honour their vows. if I did not make that clear, I apologise.

Noah Ark said:

Is divorce allowed for the sake of avoiding physical torture by violent and irresponsible partner, especially husbands who dont finance his wife but squeeze ?

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I know of cases where the husband has been violent but the wife has refused to walk away from the marriage and through the help of the church has seen a mending of it.

Brightmoon said:

Anyone who has suffered thru a physically abusive spouse and the subsequent anxiety, fear, pain, and stress to the point that the stress alone is causing physical symptoms is not going to give a darn about what some religious leader is thinking . If they’re smart they’ll get away from the abuse and make sure this person can’t hurt them again . In most cases that’s a divorce. My attitude was and is good riddance to bad rubbish. Yes I’ll remarry if I find a decent man. Religious beliefs shouldn’t keep you in a preventable abusive situation and if they do, you need to rethink them. there’s a good reason why people tell you to go no contact with narcissistic people .

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I agree but this is not the norm for divorce. Most happen because they refuse to honour their vows.

Soldier84 said:

Divorce isn't always the believer's preference or fault. I was committed to my wife, and I forgave her of many awful things because we have kids, and more so because of my vow to her. But ours was a very difficult marriage founded on unhealthy notions and choices made in ignorance.

As I learned more, God opened my eyes to my situation. In my ignorance, I had married the woman Proverbs repeatedly warns against. I was trapped by the vow I had made, unwilling to break it to save myself. I cast myself before God for help, as the stress was killing me and destroying my life. Not long after I did so, my wife left me of her own accord, and her departure was reasonably amicable. I sincerely believe God put it in her heart to leave as a gift to me, delivering me from the vow I made before Him to save my life from the pit.

Congratulations on your enduring marriage, but please be cautious in casting judgement on divorced believers. Proverbs 17:15 - He who justifies the wicked and he who condemns the righteous are both alike an abomination to the Lord. To look down on a brother is likened to uplifting the wicked before God. I know it's difficult to be impartial, but I wanted to provide my situation as an example so that perhaps you can second guess your thinking when you see what looks condemnable in a believer.

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I did not cast judgment. I asked a question. As I said later, the New Testament allows for divorce, but not as a rule. Rather as an exception and when you grow up in an environment where no Christians divorced and end up in an environment where Christian divorce at the same rate as the world, you tend to ask questions. At least I do.

But I do realise there are many Christians out there who want to be left alone and prefer not to rock the boat and face reality.

SPF said:

I find your question rather interesting. Divorce isn't always sinful. But even in the instances where divorce is wrong, it's just as wrong as every other sin you are currently committing.

Every Christian still sins. The testimony for the Christian is not that they are sinless, but that when they do sin, they repent, seek forgiveness, and strive to be more like Christ. While divorce for any reason other than adultery does not actually constitute a divorce in the eyes of the Lord, people who divorce can still have very strong testimonies, just as strong as people who have never divorced.

I would be careful about not becoming prideful because you haven't divorced. Christians sin. It's how we respond to sin that is our testimony.

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I am not prideful by any stretch of the imagination. I told my story as a backdrop to the question.

The problem is that we accept divorce as oh so judging by the statistics. We no longer seem to fight for what is right not only in this case but many others as well.