God Bless America...(?)

My daughter emailed me this.  Thought you folks would like to have a few chuckles: 

 

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.



Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.


Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.


EVER WONDER


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

------------------
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe  even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.


 
 
I wonder how many of those instructions were placed on labels due to law suits?

If you've ever taken notice, McDonald's coffee cups have a warning label saying that the coffee is hot.  As if we didn't know....but there was a lady who sued McDonald's because she burned herself after having spilled coffee (that she'd gotten at Mickie D's) onto herself.  She WON the lawsuit, too!  :( 

 
 
Upvote 0
Today at 11:45 AM bluesonata said this in Post #4

I wonder how many of those instructions were placed on labels due to law suits?

If you've ever taken notice, McDonald's coffee cups have a warning label saying that the coffee is hot.  As if we didn't know....but there was a lady who sued McDonald's because she burned herself after having spilled coffee (that she'd gotten at Mickie D's) onto herself.  She WON the lawsuit, too!  :( 

 

That is so funny!  :D

I wonder how it got missed by the person who compiled the list?? :scratch:
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

waterwizard

Senior Veteran
Aug 13, 2002
2,193
1
67
Alabama
✟3,275.00
Faith
Baptist
18th March 2003 at 01:45 PM bluesonata said this in Post #4

I wonder how many of those instructions were placed on labels due to law suits? 


Yeah, or stupid human tricks.

"Honey, I'm gonna grab my can of shaving cream and my razor and climb in the fireplace and shave."

"I'm going to bed.  Where's my hair dryer?"

"Dear, I just stopped the chainsaw........ ooooooohhhh......"
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums