I Need Advice

Pray, I am joining you in prayer right now.

Angeleyes7715 said:

I'm leaving my living situation my with bf. I have nothing to say about it I'm just getting out.

I have issues with my family they are very controlling and though my sister has agreed to let me stay at my mom's house I almost rather go to a shelter then deal with her and her husband.

I'm just concerned that shelters are going to be full and I wouldn't mind sleeping in my car for a while but sigh. I'm in debt, my car windows are taped so it's not even that secure, my job is only part time and doesn't start until the 2nd since I'm in school.

What can I do?

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Praying for you

I don't know about your mom and her husband, is it an abusive environment or is there just alot of miscommunication between you and them? Shelters are a very last resort, they are not safe, all sorts of people are there and your safety and health are not guaranteed, so im worry about it.

Also you are in school, as in college or high school?

Angeleyes7715 said:

What can I do?

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Hi, Angel Eyes God bless you, and we are praying for you.

Thank You, God our Heavenly Father, in the name of Your Son Jesus, for however You bless Angel Eyes to discover what to do with You. Amen.

I have an idea. For a while you can stay with your Mom, but make it more about how you can help her, instead of worrying that you might be a victim of your sister's controlling. And you can retreat to your car for privacy.

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)

I know staying with family you have issues with sucks but I assure you a shelter will be much worse(at least you will be safe). And the good thing is you know you won't be there too long.

Just stay with your mom and work and save to get out of there. I'm sorry you're going through this. It will get better

I would suggest you make your top priority growing in the Lord. Put your greatest determined effort into that. Get to know Him and His power (Philippians 3:10). It would be best if you could find someone to commit themselves to helping you with this; a pastor, or someone he might be able to line you up with. Learn how to read the Bible effectively, and pray effectively as well. Learn how to consistently walk with God (Galatians 5:25).
While doing the above, I would strongly suggest you live at home, and consider it a school, a training facility, to be used while doing the above. While getting to know God, we also need to learn to discipline ourselves, and learn how to get along with people. You will always have to deal with people, so you should learn to build your own character, your own communication skills, and your own interpersonal ways of relating to others. Some people are easy to be around; some aren't. The problem is not with the negative things in others, but how we respond and interact with them. If we don't have control of ourself we won't do very good. If we do have control of our mind, emotions, speech, and actions we can shield ourselves from the attacks others may send us, and still not isolate ourselves from them, but interact with them positively. Know that living with your immediate family would only be temporary, and one day you would be out on your own, able to responsibly take care of yourself. Before you even consider getting married, make sure you can stand on your own financially, emotionally, socially, spiritually, etc. Don't think your husband is going to make this up for you. That will not be his intended roll, nor should he look to marry someone that can't do this for themselves. Marriage is for two "mature" (in all these areas) persons, not for two needy people to try to make up for one another's shortcomings.

Angeleyes7715 said:

I'm leaving my living situation my with bf. I have nothing to say about it I'm just getting out.

I have issues with my family they are very controlling and though my sister has agreed to let me stay at my mom's house I almost rather go to a shelter then deal with her and her husband.

I'm just concerned that shelters are going to be full and I wouldn't mind sleeping in my car for a while but sigh. I'm in debt, my car windows are taped so it's not even that secure, my job is only part time and doesn't start until the 2nd since I'm in school.

What can I do?

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Your sister agreed to let you stay at your mothers house?

Is your mother out of the picture?

At any rate if you can not get along with your sister and her husband then you need to find another place to live.

Are there other family members?

I would suggest you bend over backwards to get along. You can control you, hopefully. You can not control others. Getting along can be very humbling, very uncomfortable, eating at our pride. But it can be much too our advantage if we aren't demanding, or looking to have our total way. Proverbs 15:1 is hard to abide by when we want to fight back. Determine to be a person of peace (Romans 12:18), not a person that demands their rights and has to win out all the time. Don't give your family members reasons to fight you or kick you out. Give them reasons to be happy with you, respect you, and also want to get along. Often we must be the giving one,
before we are on the receiving end. Proverbs 15:33; Matthew 5:43-44.

Far Side Of the Moon said:

Just stay with your mom

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It is good to be able to be independent, but also it is good to be able to share as family with other people. If you stay with Mom, you can possibly get to know her more, and discover some surprises. And you can learn how to relate with someone while there may be some difficulty.

I would say do not be all built up to defend yourself against being controlled. This can have you ready to react badly and lash out and criticize. Instead, be about submitting to God in His peace, and evaluating your own self . . . about how you yourself can control yourself in a bad way. We need how You, O God our Father, evaluate and correct us and bring us to maturity. Thank You, in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior

I have lived outside homeless in city areas and I have walked interstate with the clothes on my back, at times. And I have lived in hot and below-zero wind chill conditions, using only trash items to get food and shelter materials. So, yes I was a bit independent. But I was not personally sharing with my Jesus family people like I should, and I was not reaching to people in need of Jesus the way we should. And I might stay with my mother until we had a sharp disagreement, then I would decide she didn't want me and I would take off on foot.

But then it came to me that God did not want me to take off, even though I could be much more blessed than I might be with her and visiting certain churches near her. It was time for me to be strong so she could not get to me, and become more kind and caring.

However, then even though I stayed and did not quit on her by leaving, I could be too quick to just criticize her and not take a personal interest in her. I was not a good example of being personally loving and relating sensitively with various people she knew and who were in the churches I visited. I was too much about showing how I was a great Bible teacher and Jesus person not like her and others. But I did change to do better, but I would like to see how she would react to me now that I think I'm more personally caring and I have a lady friend who has kept wanting me for over five or so years, to now.

But thank You, God, for as much as You did correct and change me while I was with her.

So, Angel Eyes, how well can your eyes have you seeing her in angelic love? lolololol . . . the way God's love has us seeing people and things? In case God means for you to stay with her for a while, make good use of this > invest in how God can correct us and mature us to share with Him and submit to how He rules us in His peace, in our relating with various people.

Independence can be isolation. Real independence makes us able to stay stable while we are sharing with people who have been able to get to us, in the past. With Jesus we can grow stronger and more sensitive and creative with difficult and impossible people . . . like we have been, ourselves, right?

Angeleyes7715 said:

I'm leaving my living situation my with bf. I have nothing to say about it I'm just getting out.

I have issues with my family they are very controlling and though my sister has agreed to let me stay at my mom's house I almost rather go to a shelter then deal with her and her husband.

I'm just concerned that shelters are going to be full and I wouldn't mind sleeping in my car for a while but sigh. I'm in debt, my car windows are taped so it's not even that secure, my job is only part time and doesn't start until the 2nd since I'm in school.

What can I do?

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Do you have a church?
Have you asked them for help?

Angeleyes7715 said:

Planning on staying with my mom. And there was a huge fight with my family so they are demanding I go to a meeting even though they said I can stay.

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Just curious what do you mean by this?

Angeleyes7715 said:

It's more about whether or not they really decide to let me stay cause they really might kick me out.

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You really don't have to give any answers here but what in the world has caused your family to say not even care if you have a place to stay? Are you saying they're altogether wrong that you've done nothing to create this hostility? Not saying you have but what would they say is the other side of the story.

Angeleyes7715 said:

And no I graduated college already with a biochem degree that I can't so squat with. Which is one ofothe reasons im poor and in this mess in the first place. Therefore, I'm getting my medical lab certification And learning programming i'm in a program right now but who knows if I'll finish with all this drama and financial issues.

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Yeah well doesn't seem like educational circles care so much about whether people get a job as long as the teachers and trainers of these courses make money. Sometimes it's about their careers not yours. Not to discourage one to give it another go with training but we'll hope it works out long term for you. A dear relative of mine did one course of something....NOTHING....trying a different course, at least we can seek to be optimistic what else can one do?

Angeleyes7715 said:

I'm leaving my living situation my with bf. I have nothing to say about it I'm just getting out.

I have issues with my family they are very controlling and though my sister has agreed to let me stay at my mom's house I almost rather go to a shelter then deal with her and her husband.

I'm just concerned that shelters are going to be full and I wouldn't mind sleeping in my car for a while but sigh. I'm in debt, my car windows are taped so it's not even that secure, my job is only part time and doesn't start until the 2nd since I'm in school.

What can I do?

Click to expand...

I was homeless for 3 very long years in Huntington Beach CA and NEVER went to a shelter or a church or even my family for help. I just trusted God in that situation that He had orchestrated. I prayed daily for a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a beer. I was rarely disappointed.

I went fishing everyday and rarely caught a fish. I went to the library and learned which plants, weeds and mushrooms I could eat. I learned which fruit trees and avocado trees where in the area and always asked permission.

My faith was solid at the time and I never figured out what was going on? Why He always stopped me from getting a job?

That is until He revealed His plan to me of establishing me in Hawaii! So while I was homeless in CA, He was building a life for me in HI. It took Him 3yrs to bring the company I would work for to Maui. To prepare a woman for me to marry, etc.

EVERTHING was prepared for me when I got there in detail!

9 months after being homeless, I was married and living on the North Shore of Maui, surfing in my backyard(beyond dreams) and fishing from my hammock! SHAZAM!

Patience is required and expect big changes. Trust Him in all His ways. He has a plan!

Angeleyes7715 said:

For the time being I'm not homeless, staying at my mom's. Just really depressed.


I don't see how this can ever get better or how life is worth living.

Last night I prayed God would execute his will in my life regardless of what happened. Today this is what happened so it must be God's will. Sad about my ex boyfriend becausebi was very attached to him. I knew him since I was a kid. All of this mess and debt just feel so lost.

Very very depressed and fighting the urge to end it all.

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i'm sorry to hear you are feeling so down, the pit can be so deep from this perspective.

The best is to hand your life to Jesus the moment an issue comes up in your emotional world. Please don't think that whatever happens to you is God's will, for sadly His will is hardly ever done on earth as it is in Heaven. Yet that is what your life ought to be about learning to understand what God's will is. (and His will for us is that we should love Him, others as well as self.)

See if you can learn to focus on Him in your life, not your problems, or your painful issues, for they will only bring more negativity into you. However if you learn to look at Christ in your hurting life He will teach you how to go about thing the right way and heal the hurt.

To fight the negativity try and think of one positive thing to say (to yourself) or do (for other, or yourself) a hour in your waking day. Like actively believing/reconfirming God loves you and wants the best for you. Hoping in His love will bring good life sooner as well as later. Knowing that however hard life might get Jesus will help you through. Understanding that through overcoming hardships we become stronger, one step at the time. To say something nice to someone else, or confirm your love for them.

Consider doing something nice for another person, even if they are undeserving, make their day by surprising them with an act of kindness. The same as negativity add negativity makes more negativity, so know that adding a positive to a negative produces a spark of light. A simple rule which Jesus - The Eternal Positive - can work inside your negative charged life and light up your darkness inside with His loving truth.

Also if you have time take a walk in a nice park and see the beautiful flowers blooming and the birds singing and know that beautiful peacefulness could be true in your life as well. If you seek the Lord in peacefulness and love then He will always speak true to His Word. Do know that Jesus is a superb gardener of our souls and can turn your life into some beautiful. Among all the bad good life can remain and grow strong and resilient you can be assured of that.

Also depression can be medicated, often successfully. It may well be that you need some kind of aid getting through this darkness you are so often in.

Hoping you will see some sparks flying today.



What Can I Say About Suffering

What can I say, about what have I learned from our Heavenly Father? I can see now that evil lies cause pain to be alive within human existence. I have watched how isolation, forces lies down into suffering souls - as The Wicked cut all ties with truthful love and so let our crushing depression generate its own misery in our agonising hell down there. I know that all lies end up in the Pit - dragging us down living dead. Yet why would I continue to let bad life be dominant in my inner world of awareness and not God's loving truth to rule my every moment instead?

Over time I have learned to see that creeds, values and morals are rules upon rules ruling. Yet still wicked lies spread like maggots through my flesh, killing all goodness within me, because I'm imperfect! To just let such be and move on is best I learned about that. And so The Word of God spoken in love for God, self and neighbour, is The Voice to heed in our hearts and minds at all times.

I have experienced that time brings good and bad, up and down, far and wide for everyone. Yet the power of God's love, as even bad sin and great failings ruled me, couldn't subdue Jesus grace over me as His loving truth set me free to be myself - time and again.

I understand that anguish speaks to those experiencing life truly untrue and lovelessly - and that our Heavenly Father never wanted this to rule His kids! Indeed I know that my wretchedness longs for the demise of all my agony, so that misery may never rule my life again. No more Bad Life overshadowing my here and now, instead complete freedom for me to be me. For in God's loving truth, even through much hurt, I can finally stay on top of things, my loveless lies to hand to Christ as God's Good Life grows within in Return.

I know now that loving truth is the only useful weapon against the forces of evil. Complete freedom for me if I heed God's love in truth to rule my daily life. So why would I foolishly keep letting malefic lies decide my future. Why not forgive, why leave truthful love? While I know that only God's good makes my life a worthwhile experience?

I have seen that life is genuinely worth living in honest loving togetherness. Where everyone who exists is esteemed because they are specially made. For our real value lays not in how much gain we can yield for others, but simply because all existence speaks of life's importance to be loved. The communion of Saints - true love loving people doing the loving - is very important therefore.

So I choose loving truthfulness to steer me through those terrible storms down here. For even through extraordinary agony and times of incredible much suffering God's truth preserves my life. His loving goodness keeping me from falling. As I found that warm-heartedness is truly effective against the deadly chill of devil's breath.

You are living at home. Paul was in prison. No AC, heat, electricity, running water, or Internet or TV. His environment wasn't very good, and yet his mind and spirit were writing to the Philippians about joy in Christ. He wasn't focused on his own circumstances, but on what he had in Christ. Might you also strive to grow into such a relationship, that is not just for apostles, but for every Christian. Philippians 4:11; Philippians 4:13; Philippians 4:19; Philippians 4:23. "The Fabulous Fourth Chapter."
There are a number of other good verses in this book, but the point is we can live a life of joyous victory in spite of our living conditions.

In situations where there has been abuse, domestic violence centers may have shelters, counseling and life skills assistance like helping with having basic needs met and sometimes even job skills.