Why don't some christian want to hear christian advice when they are down?
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I usually leave them alone, or make my talk with them very short, and pray for them in my quiet time. At some point, their hearts softens to the Truth. It may not be through me, and it may not be that moment that it gets through, but I still pray that God work on their hearts.
I can't force people to seek help, they have to seek it for themselves.
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GraceBro
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It may be due to them just wanting to sort things out first on their own, which is natural. It may be that a lot of Christian "advice" is poor; full of platitudes and bad theology. It may only make things worse or reinforce beliefs that are not correct. When their heart is ready then they will receive what it is that you have to say. Just be loving, i.e. patient, and be there for them.
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yeshuaslavejeff
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This was pretty good up to "what you have to say" which might be okay but is subject like everything to testing ....
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May not find anything about tires and gas mileage, but sometimes even the most practical moves people can't take because of fear, doubt, or pride. You have to first have the right heart and mindset to make wise decisions, and that all starts with having the Word in your heart.
Doing it by your own merit will only get you so far.
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Steve Petersen
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Because most Christian counseling is pablum that ends up blaming the victim rather than re-examining their messed up theology.
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LovebirdsFlying
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Proverbs 25:20
Sometimes advice can come off, even if it isn't meant that way, as belittling and minimizing.
True clinical depression is a medical issue and has nothing to do with external events. I, for one, can be foggy and slow even when things are going great. It happens because my brain chemistry isn't functioning right. It isn't because I forget to thank God for what I have, so being reminded to do that wouldn't be helpful. Instead it would be frustrating, because the person giving the advice obviously doesn't understand.
This goes double when the advice comes in the form of platitudes like "just give it to God," or "be anxious for nothing," especially in situations where advice was never asked for in the first place. It feels very dismissive and brings resentment on top of the other overwhelming emotions.
Note, there can be negative thinking associated with depression. Learning to manage those gloomy thoughts is necessary, but feeling sad isn't all there is to depression, so the entire issue shouldn't be reduced to basically "don't worry, be happy."
Sometimes advice can come off, even if it isn't meant that way, as belittling and minimizing.
True clinical depression is a medical issue and has nothing to do with external events. I, for one, can be foggy and slow even when things are going great. It happens because my brain chemistry isn't functioning right. It isn't because I forget to thank God for what I have, so being reminded to do that wouldn't be helpful. Instead it would be frustrating, because the person giving the advice obviously doesn't understand.
This goes double when the advice comes in the form of platitudes like "just give it to God," or "be anxious for nothing," especially in situations where advice was never asked for in the first place. It feels very dismissive and brings resentment on top of the other overwhelming emotions.
Note, there can be negative thinking associated with depression. Learning to manage those gloomy thoughts is necessary, but feeling sad isn't all there is to depression, so the entire issue shouldn't be reduced to basically "don't worry, be happy."
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Far Side Of the Moon
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They're in pain. Everyone copes differently.
Plus is depends on the severity of the pain and does it. If it's inflicted by someone whose supposed to be a pastor ,christian whatever... And you're still an I'mmature christian... You may feel betrayed by God or just wonder why He allowed his mouth piece or vessel to treat you poorly and it just starts a cycle of negative thoughts.
If one is horrifically abused by parents they may wonder why God allowed what he did if he loved them.
I think it depends on the level of pain and trauma.
I honestly think it's okay to be angry ...even at God. David was and God knows how we feel anyway...even if we pretend not to be angry. I believe in transparency even with God...as long as it doesn't lead you away.
I feel venting is apart of the healing process.
I'm a whole lot better than how I was when I started. I remember when I came here I was so depressed i want to delete old posts but now I feel I'm in a place where bad things can happen .and I can accept it without blaming God.
So it depends on who inflicts the pain and severity of pain.
Alot of people are very willing to give advice once or twice... But not many are willing to just be patient with the person that's hurting and help them get through it...
During my depressed times when I kept waving everyone off ... One member I know who kept at me to keep believing was Jeshu
And now that I'm on the other side I'm so thankful he didn't stop caring.
Plus is depends on the severity of the pain and does it. If it's inflicted by someone whose supposed to be a pastor ,christian whatever... And you're still an I'mmature christian... You may feel betrayed by God or just wonder why He allowed his mouth piece or vessel to treat you poorly and it just starts a cycle of negative thoughts.
If one is horrifically abused by parents they may wonder why God allowed what he did if he loved them.
I think it depends on the level of pain and trauma.
I honestly think it's okay to be angry ...even at God. David was and God knows how we feel anyway...even if we pretend not to be angry. I believe in transparency even with God...as long as it doesn't lead you away.
I feel venting is apart of the healing process.
I'm a whole lot better than how I was when I started. I remember when I came here I was so depressed i want to delete old posts but now I feel I'm in a place where bad things can happen .and I can accept it without blaming God.
So it depends on who inflicts the pain and severity of pain.
Alot of people are very willing to give advice once or twice... But not many are willing to just be patient with the person that's hurting and help them get through it...
During my depressed times when I kept waving everyone off ... One member I know who kept at me to keep believing was Jeshu
And now that I'm on the other side I'm so thankful he didn't stop caring.
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- Jun 28, 2011
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Biblical advice is correct and good, but is often given in a distant, cold and clinical way. How would it be if we just gave our loved ones a list of things to do rather than first Loving them.
A person who is down may need advice, but a Loving and supportive community that will extend gentle relationship a hug and a kiss would be nice for a start.
Personally I have found that Biblical teaching also promises many things that are out of reach to an isolated and depressed person, and so the message only serves to cause more pain.
For example a number of weeks ago, while at sea, I started to listen to a wonderful teacher who was talking about the famliy that we have in Christ. I heard up to a point and then couldn't bring myself to keep listening to the rest. This "family" is very distant to me and it is only hurtful to hear what others are experiencing.
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yeshuaslavejeff
simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Actually good testimony - the pain and suffering and of an isolated and depressed person, or someone away overseas or at sea,
is well known I think, and compounded by a lack of time of experiential knowledge abiding in Jesus all the time --- even people in churches / families currently not separated by distance often might feel "hurtful" when they read the
accounts IN SCRIPTURE of the Ekklesia in ACTS and the other Letters in the NT.
(because their family or churches are so much different than described in Scripture).
May it lead, though, to more and better healing and realization of Yahweh's Plan and Purpose whenever 2 or 3 or more are gathered in Jesus' Name to talk about Him.
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I am relating what I have experienced, and well know that it is not uncommon, which is why I think it is worth sharing.
Nevertheless the purpose of God is that we Love one another deeply from the heart so that those who are hurting are supported and nurtured from the heart in a relational way as befits the will of Christ.
Let's put it this way, nobody would ever be able to accuse the modern Church of incest and secret orgies, and not because of moral uprightness either.
Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart.
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet one another with a holy kiss.
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- Jun 28, 2011
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Certainly legitimate expression needs to be allowed in recognition of the loss that has been suffered.
Healing does not take place without facing the truth of the matter at hand, and often depression and the like are kicked off by injustice, loss and a failure of expectations.
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yeshuaslavejeff
simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Yet what is always the solution in Scripture ? For all the Apostles and disciples following Jesus ?
It was amazing how even in the most dire circumstances, they overcame and thrived with joy and peace and righteousness, even in chains in prison, and in beatings, and in shedding blood for their faith, even unto death - without becoming depressed....
It was amazing how even in the most dire circumstances, they overcame and thrived with joy and peace and righteousness, even in chains in prison, and in beatings, and in shedding blood for their faith, even unto death - without becoming depressed....
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yeshuaslavejeff
simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua
Many (including me) have faced all of that and more - frequent injustice, loss, and failure of expectations - without becoming depressed; rather with continued and increasing JOY and PEACE the same as the disciples of JESUS throughout the NT and throughout history (as in Foxes Book of Martyrs).....
Oh, there is certainly much sorrow and grieving... but always in line with Scripture and abiding in Jesus, quite different from depression ....
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I think some of it may be because, sometimes a person who is hurting doesn't want the person giving advice to go into ways to fix things, but just to listen.
Also what one person said that Biblical advice often, without it that being the intention I am sure, can come off as invalidating and belittling. Or, at worse blame the victim.
And practical steps often need to be taken when dealing with clinical depression (medication, counseling, or both.)
Also what one person said that Biblical advice often, without it that being the intention I am sure, can come off as invalidating and belittling. Or, at worse blame the victim.
And practical steps often need to be taken when dealing with clinical depression (medication, counseling, or both.)
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When dealing with a disease like clinical depression it is not as easy as calling on God. Myself and others with clinical depression would be first to say this is the case. Medical care-medication, counseling-needs to be sought with depression, just like one would seek help for a physical illness.
That isn't to say that God can't help. I prayed that He'd help me find the right medication. He did.
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Normal sadness over a loss and clinical depression are completely different things. Many in this post have already said clinical depression is an illness, most often the result of an imbalance in brain chemicals. A person's life could be great yet they could still experience horrible depression.
If someone has not experienced clinical depression for themselves it is nearly impossible to understand. Or they don't want to understand.
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Exactly. And many issues are not black and white, and it seems like Biblical advice takes very black and white view of complex problems. Hence it's not helpful.
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