Im new (HELP! Im a believer, but have no friends)

Beauty1993 · May 26, 2018

Hello im 24, a mother of two, and engaged for 12 years, I have no friends, my fiance is mentally abusive, my happiest days is when i was a teen, i felt free, i had friends and I was very beautiful, or i felt beautiful. now I dont d my hair for weeks on end, i dont organize my outfits, i have no job, no daycare, no money. i skip meals. ad when i get depressed (due to metal abuse from fiance) Id wite evil notes to myself on my mirrors, just remiding myself that im a waste to this world, that im ugly, and that no one cares for me, somtimes i even pray tht i can become an asexual that away when my fiance mently abuse me i wont care if he leaves, he threatens to leave if I inturupt him in coversation, then he'll go on about "this is why no one befriends you", " I rather have some one that will listen to me" stuff like tat, which makes me feel really really stupid...
I love God, but I dont like that he put me on earth,
I feel like i have to mary him because i dont beleive in marrying a person if you already have kids by another. I want to get married for my my kids , mine,and his soul's sake, thinking about our future marriage ...I think f...Ill be mentallyabusied til the day i die. even think of ways to avoid him in my own house, and about making one of the roms i the house a room for me, I wouldnt have bed, but id rather not get mentally abusised, a few days ago me and my fiance argued, and he told my 6 year old how 2 years ago me and him broke up for a week and how I dated another man, Im so ashamed of crying in front of him, I feel it empowers him inside. I want to take injections so that tears wont fall out my eyes agian (its out there)
ive even felt so useless to the world i deleted all my friends from FB because became ashamed of the way i spoke in my timelines

I have no one to talk to, my fiancce is no option. a few days ago i went ahead and scheduled for a therapist, i dont beleive in that, but i thought i should give it a try

Southernscotty · May 26, 2018

Welcome to CF friend and I am praying for you.

Apologetic_Warrior · May 26, 2018

Welcome to CF, sorry to hear about your troubles, just remember God is so much greater than all our troubles (1 John 4:4), which often come and go. Take refuge in God (Psalms 46), in the Prince of Peace (Isaiah 9:6).

Southernscotty · May 26, 2018

You do not have to accept being mentally abused and you need to get away from that friend.

GodsGrace101 · May 26, 2018

Welcome. Make yourself at home and look around.
We'll be praying for you.
I'm sorry you have such problems, but I'm happy you know God.

mark kennedy · May 26, 2018

Welcome to the boards, sorry your going through so much distress. I suspect the reason you don't have a lot of friends is because your fiance is such a tyrant. My daughter is coming out of an abusive relationship, it's really good to see her improve from the state she was in. It sounds like you need some time to heal, trust me, it will get better over time.

Feel free to roam around the boards, there are some special forums for anxiety and disorder and you might pin something to the prayer wall. Some nice folks here, enjoy your stay.

Grace and peace,
Mark

Kevin Snow · May 26, 2018

I am sorry to hear your situation. I will pray that this man learns gentleness. It's hard to be put in a position of having to fight for your rights, just to be and live.

Understand some things: before God, having sex is the marriage. The whole point of being vowed to someone is for the eventual marriage of becoming one flesh. The vows which you make are before God also and God holds every man to what comes out of his mouth. So there are vows and there is the marriage. If you marry without vows it does not mean you aren't married and held in union with this person.

Next, you must understand that the bible teaches that the head of woman is man and that woman was made for man, not man for woman.(1 Corinthians 11:3 and 9) It then says this,

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ~1 Peter 3:1

If you get in fights a lot then look to follow this word understanding that he is your leader in this walk of life.

Then, when you are "counting others more significant than yourself" you can tell him that his love is lacking. Tell him that just as Christ gave himself up for the church so also is he to give himself up for you. As it says,

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ~Ephesians 5:25

And understand that he OWES this to you. He owes it to you to LOVE you with all he can bring. If he is not giving of himself for you then he is not loving you as Christ loved the church. As it says,

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. ~Romans 13:8

So we owe it to one another to love each other. Finally, I would (when you are no longer fighting with words but are winning him through your conduct by careful submissiveness to him as your leader) encourage him to be gentle. And the reason he is so harsh is because he is taking out his internal anxiety and struggle to be a man on whoever is close to him. And so by being under him, you are the one who is subject to all of it under his power, which becomes what you call "mental abuse." Understand that this though is coming out of a lot of internal struggle in life.

Somehow he needs to start seeing you as a part of his struggle. Then he will not target you as someone who is making his struggle worse and fight you, but then he will rest in you being on his same team and side.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone. ~Proverbs 25:15

Have patience therefore, knowing that love covers over a multitude of offenses.

Lastly, and I'm sorry this has gone on so long, please make sure that both of you are reading your bible both night and day. As it says according to scripture,

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. ~Joshua 1:8

sea5763 · May 26, 2018

That is so sad!

I'm sorry you are suffering. I personally see a psychologist at least once a month even though I don't have any real problems and I feel like it helps me to just be able to have a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to in complete confidence without repercussions. If you have no one to talk to about your problems then I suggest you keep going. I already have people in my life that I can talk to about my problems but I still go just so that I don't burden them as much by making them a shoulder to cry on. It was kind of a problem growing up cuz my family would get tired of me talking about my problems and crying on their shoulder constantly, so now that I see a psychologist, I spennd less time doing that and I feel our relationships have improved at least somewhat.

Beauty1993 · May 26, 2018

Southernscotty said:
Welcome to CF friend and I am praying for you.

thank you

Beauty1993 · May 26, 2018

Kevin Snow said:
I am sorry to hear your situation. I will pray that this man learns gentleness. It's hard to be put in a position of having to fight for your rights, just to be and live.

Understand some things: before God, having sex is the marriage. The whole point of being vowed to someone is for the eventual marriage of becoming one flesh. The vows which you make are before God also and God holds every man to what comes out of his mouth. So there are vows and there is the marriage. If you marry without vows it does not mean you aren't married and held in union with this person.

Next, you must understand that the bible teaches that the head of woman is man and that woman was made for man, not man for woman.(1 Corinthians 11:3 and 9) It then says this,

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, ~1 Peter 3:1

If you get in fights a lot then look to follow this word understanding that he is your leader in this walk of life.

Then, when you are "counting others more significant than yourself" you can tell him that his love is lacking. Tell him that just as Christ gave himself up for the church so also is he to give himself up for you. As it says,

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, ~Ephesians 5:25

And understand that he OWES this to you. He owes it to you to LOVE you with all he can bring. If he is not giving of himself for you then he is not loving you as Christ loved the church. As it says,

Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. ~Romans 13:8

So we owe it to one another to love each other. Finally, I would (when you are no longer fighting with words but are winning him through your conduct by careful submissiveness to him as your leader) encourage him to be gentle. And the reason he is so harsh is because he is taking out his internal anxiety and struggle to be a man on whoever is close to him. And so by being under him, you are the one who is subject to all of it under his power, which becomes what you call "mental abuse." Understand that this though is coming out of a lot of internal struggle in life.

Somehow he needs to start seeing you as a part of his struggle. Then he will not target you as someone who is making his struggle worse and fight you, but then he will rest in you being on his same team and side.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. ~Galatians 5:22-23

With patience a ruler may be persuaded, and a soft tongue will break a bone. ~Proverbs 25:15

Have patience therefore, knowing that love covers over a multitude of offenses.

Lastly, and I'm sorry this has gone on so long, please make sure that both of you are reading your bible both night and day. As it says according to scripture,

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. ~Joshua 1:8

Amen, Amen, Amen
I was so moved by this as I read this. I am so happy I told what had happened here to today. We need to be reading our bible Amen. When things came own today, I read this to him. I had to. He too agrees that we need to do this and that he should start loving me as Christ loved his Church. Us reading day and night will be a certain reminder everyday! I thank God for this message ive got today, and thank you for sharing love and taking the time and help us understand! Please keep us in prayer, and my fiance and I will pray now also, thank you

Lowlander · May 26, 2018

Although I believe that you got kids weigh to early in your life that isn't important at this moment. You say that you have been engaged since you were 12 years old?

Your relationship with your partner is not healthy at all. I understand you have kids, and you should be there for them. But you shouldn't marry with someone you want to avoid in your own house, especially not if this person is abusing you. I wish you all the wisdom and strength you need in the coming period, but I should't marry with such a person. Your kids are far better of if you find a stable and loving partner who helps you and your children.

4x4toy · May 26, 2018

Hi Beauty1993 .. Matthew 11:28 .. Humble yourself before the Lord Jesus and ask to save you if you're not ''born again'' and if you are then find some lively uplifting Psalms songs to sing to the Lord . Let your children see you sing out with joy too, lift your hands in faith to the Lord when you sing and offer thanks . Find uplifting promises in the Bible and drown out the bad thoughts you have let in .. You are a winner in Christ .. So many people fall into the trap of the devil and his message is the same but he is the liar .. Wait on the Lord and simply do what he says, he will change your whole outlook on life if you will get his Word started in your heart , even if you're not convinced or don't feel like it, do it in faith and don't take no for an answer then wait for and watch the change and miracles begin . And remember , when you plant a seed in the garden you don't give up because it didn't produce overnight but in it's season ..
Prayers and love from your big brother in SC . :amen:

Kevin Snow · May 26, 2018

Beauty1993 said:
Amen, Amen, Amen
I was so moved by this as I read this. I am so happy I told what had happened here to today. We need to be reading our bible Amen. When things came own today, I read this to him. I had to. He too agrees that we need to do this and that he should start loving me as Christ loved his Church. Us reading day and night will be a certain reminder everyday! I thank God for this message ive got today, and thank you for sharing love and taking the time and help us understand! Please keep us in prayer, and my fiance and I will pray now also, thank you

Praise the Lord! I am at your service. Continue in the grace of God. He will guide our feet into the way of peace.

Beauty1993 · May 28, 2018

4x4toy said:
Hi Beauty1993 .. Matthew 11:28 .. Humble yourself before the Lord Jesus and ask to save you if you're not ''born again'' and if you are then find some lively uplifting Psalms songs to sing to the Lord . Let your children see you sing out with joy too, lift your hands in faith to the Lord when you sing and offer thanks . Find uplifting promises in the Bible and drown out the bad thoughts you have let in .. You are a winner in Christ .. So many people fall into the trap of the devil and his message is the same but he is the liar .. Wait on the Lord and simply do what he says, he will change your whole outlook on life if you will get his Word started in your heart , even if you're not convinced or don't feel like it, do it in faith and don't take no for an answer then wait for and watch the change and miracles begin . And remember , when you plant a seed in the garden you don't give up because it didn't produce overnight but in it's season ..
Prayers and love from your big brother in SC .

thank you

Heart2Soul · May 28, 2018

Beauty1993 said:
Hello im 24, a mother of two, and engaged for 12 years, I have no friends, my fiance is mentally abusive, my happiest days is when i was a teen, i felt free, i had friends and I was very beautiful, or i felt beautiful. now I dont d my hair for weeks on end, i dont organize my outfits, i have no job, no daycare, no money. i skip meals. ad when i get depressed (due to metal abuse from fiance) Id wite evil notes to myself on my mirrors, just remiding myself that im a waste to this world, that im ugly, and that no one cares for me, somtimes i even pray tht i can become an asexual that away when my fiance mently abuse me i wont care if he leaves, he threatens to leave if I inturupt him in coversation, then he'll go on about "this is why no one befriends you", " I rather have some one that will listen to me" stuff like tat, which makes me feel really really stupid...
I love God, but I dont like that he put me on earth,
I feel like i have to mary him because i dont beleive in marrying a person if you already have kids by another. I want to get married for my my kids , mine,and his soul's sake, thinking about our future marriage ...I think f...Ill be mentallyabusied til the day i die. even think of ways to avoid him in my own house, and about making one of the roms i the house a room for me, I wouldnt have bed, but id rather not get mentally abusised, a few days ago me and my fiance argued, and he told my 6 year old how 2 years ago me and him broke up for a week and how I dated another man, Im so ashamed of crying in front of him, I feel it empowers him inside. I want to take injections so that tears wont fall out my eyes agian (its out there)
ive even felt so useless to the world i deleted all my friends from FB because became ashamed of the way i spoke in my timelines

I have no one to talk to, my fiancce is no option. a few days ago i went ahead and scheduled for a therapist, i dont beleive in that, but i thought i should give it a try

I am wearing the same shoes....even the fiancé part....I have one that is verbally and mentally abusive in his criticism of me all the time....I don't have any personal friends to talk to as well and I took this to the Lord and prayed He would put a friend in my life....well eventually I ended up here and have met a wonderful friend that I communicate with almost daily....I give God the Glory for hearing and answering my prayers!....
I pray you will meet someone here as well...at least it is a starting place.....and when you do actually come across someone here that you connect with start engaging in a private conversation and get to know one another....encourage one another in the Lord......
I will be praying for you...God Bless!....and step out in faith to reach out to that person. :prayer:

Beauty1993 · May 28, 2018

how do i post another forum? im a new member here, also i have no money, I get no income. does that mean i have to leave this website?

~Anastasia~ · May 28, 2018

Beauty1993 said:
how do i post another forum? im a new member here, also i have no money, I get no income. does that mean i have to leave this website?

Hello and welcome to CF!

You are welcome to post in other areas. Just go to another forum and click "post new thread".

It doesn't cost anything to post here. The only thing you can pay for is to have the ads go away and have access to an additional area that is for supporters. But if you can see it, you can read it.

There are posting guidelines for some areas - singles only, married only, men or women only, by ages. But most of the forums are open to all Christians, and quite a few to non-Christians as well. The "Statement of Purpose" found as a sticky in the thread list of many areas will give you any "local rules".

Beauty1993 · May 28, 2018

thank you so much, i was getting a bit worried

~Anastasia~ · May 28, 2018

Beauty1993 said:
thank you so much, i was getting a bit worried

You are most welcome.

Feel free to ask if we can help with anything else.

God be with you.

drjean · May 28, 2018

(((safe hug)))) Put off the marriage until you and the T (therapist) can get your personal life squared away. You will provide a better home for those kiddoes in the process.

Welcome to CF.

Im new (HELP! Im a believer, but have no friends)

Member

Well-Known Member

Pilgrim

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Natura non facit saltum

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

Member

Member

Dutch94

Newbie

Well-Known Member

Member

Well-Known Member

Member

† Handmaid of God †

Member

† Handmaid of God †

Senior Veteran

Similar threads