I don't understand christianity

Listen to God of course. You are convicted in the Holy Spirit. Follow that.

This world is far too evil and far too gone to be bothered with them. Like Jesus said, "Leave them alone for they are blind guides and if the blind lead the blind both will fall into a pit."

You are seeking to be close to God. You will have to be far from everyone else, almost alien. But it is they who are not a part of this earth.

You only spend 5 hours a day on music? Hmm. I spend 8 hours a day at work, another hour on preparing myself for work, an hour cooking, eating and cleaning after work, an hour or two watching tv and unwinding, and other things. That does not mean God is not part of those things and it certainly doesn't mean that just because I might spend 20 minutes reading the word and praying, that I idolize my work more than my God. He is part of my work, the reason I chose my profession, and I honor him in it.

If God has given you an aptitude for music, it would be dishonoring to him to not use it to the best of your ability.

And I am not discounting reading the Bible, but seriously, what did they do before the advent of the printing press? "Devotions" are a modern concept. Instead, we are to meditate on him, pray to him, and let him transform our hearts and minds to become like him... it's about knowing our desperate need of him.

Read Ecclesiastes. Then go out and enjoy your life because all you can take with you when you go is your salvation (Jesus), who you become because of him, and whatever you do for him (the fruit of salvation).

Psalms 145:18 The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Ben Collyer said:

DesiringGod.org says: you are an idolater, your joy is not in God alone, Confess and repent

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I'm pretty sure that's a false statement.

Ben Collyer said:

do you know what I mean though when I talk about ministries like DesiringGod? and the countless others like it

its all about

PUT AWAY IDOLS

READ YOUR BIBLE DAILY

LOVE GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART

MAKE SURE YOU DO THESE 3 THINGS IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR YOU WONT PLEASE GOD

MAKE SURE TO DO THESE 3 THINGS AT WORK OR YOU WONT PLEASE GOD

all I get from these ministries is CONDEMNATION.

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Romans 8:1
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,

A relationship with the Lord Jesus does not boil down to a magic formula. I do get it, that sometimes programs can come across like that - I have taught programs, and it was not until recently that one participant came to me and told me how condemned she felt because she's been "doing it all wrong." She failed to see all she was doing right. Please don't make that same mistake.

Know who you are, and then figure out how you can best serve the Lord with what you have, including the personality, talents, aptitude and resources God has given you. You are amazing to be available to your mom, you are learning music stuff without a formal "teacher", reading and praying, reaching out to others. If anyone says you are not enough or not doing enough, disassociate from them. It is enough to just "be" when you are "being" with and for the Lord.

Ben Collyer said:

Thank you, be that as it may, what do ministries like desiringGod actually offer to the world? I sometimes wonder if DesiringGod does more damage to the kingdom of God than good, because the standard of holiness and righteousness they exhort is IMPOSSIBLE...its like a repackaged form of the law

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You are totally misrepresenting what they say. That's not honest.

Ben Collyer said:

the God of john piper is a cruel and demanding taskmaster that cannot be pleased

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You are totally misrepresenting what they say. That's not honest.

Unless you are willing to move someplace where you can live completely off-grid, you have to devote enough time during the day to making enough money to pay at least the basic bills. You have to cook food. You can pray while you cook, clean, and do other mundane tasks that don't require concentration. You can pray and read the scriptures as much as or more than you're doing now and still devote time throughout the day to doing those things necessary to fulfilling your basic life duties.

Ben Collyer said:

I want you to imagine a scenario in the context of a born again christian 4 years into his journey

One day he decides he would like to learn music production, so he buys a license for a production suite called Fruity Loops Studio. at the time of purchase, he is quite undisciplined in his life. he reads the bible sporadically, going through short seasons of intense hunger for Gods word and longer seasons of daily distracted, devotional readings of the bible intermingled with worklife and hobby pursuits.

but said christian isn't employed at the moment as he wants to be at home with his dying mother. installs the program and on day 1 spends 5 hours on the program. he enjoys it and is very diligent to learn more about music theory and the program. in the evening he forces himself to close the program and reads 2 chapters of Isaiah and offers a short prayer in his head. Having no hunger for the word at this time he puts the word down and then gets bored because theres nothing much to do so he returns to learning music.

the next day he decides he wants to live better so he gets up early, exercises and offers a short prayer before memorising a few verses from ephesians, he then walks into his local mall and looks for people to bless, he meets a homeless man and prays for him. he also helps a local fishermen to hoist water up to his boat. he then returns home and continues learning music. he uses the program for a few hours daily, and feels condemned when he comtemplates how much time he spends using it and how little time he spends in the bible or prayer or enjoying God. he thinks back to the brief times when he was on fire for God, desiring nothing but to be close to God and to enjoy sweet fellowship with him. He misses that, but his friends tell him "Don't live by feelings, just trust God" but said christian is keenly aware that God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in him. Said christian is very much reformed and keen to honor Gods holyness not just his mercy. but said christian has little freedom. he is constantly examining himself and lamenting the fact that he just can't "work it out"

How can he rest in Gods grace on the cross and yet be barraged with exhortations to holiness by reformed ministries?

One friend tells him "God loves you, He delights in you, stop beating yourself with a stick, rest in him"

DesiringGod.org says: you are an idolater, your joy is not in God alone, Confess and repent

which voice should he listen to?

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If you can make money from your music, you might have to spend some time there. If you are like many other musicians and artists, there is not much money to be had and you might need a day job to pay for it all. If you are young, you may want to work two jobs while you have strength. Strength leaves a person in old age. I was in my 50's when I realized I could no longer run up and down mountains like I did when I was young.

Once I was reading the Bible every day after work. God told me I would need to study other things as well, as my Bible study was not productive. I started to read other things too. Going back to the Bible through the years has been a blessing. Reading books about how to repair things got the job done. Reading books about finance and investing added to what I already had.

Ben Collyer said:

Thank you, be that as it may, what do ministries like desiringGod actually offer to the world? I sometimes wonder if DesiringGod does more damage to the kingdom of God than good, because the standard of holiness and righteousness they exhort is IMPOSSIBLE...its like a repackaged form of the law

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Awww, it is so sad, you know, that opening up the kingdom to the Gentiles has resulted that they have distorted the character of God and now so much confusion prevails.. but there really was no other way at that time.

The Gentile Christians of today do not revere the precepts of holy society (justice, truth, righteousness - Mark 10:42, Jeremiah 7:5-7). They simply don't understand Torah because it is alien to them, so in the futility of their thinking (Ephesians 4:17-18, Proverbs 14:12), they oppose Torah and those who oppose them with it, searching for ways to twist scripture that they may escape the condemnation of it (1 Timothy 4:2). The God of Israel is The Spirit of Truth "I will ask The Father to send you a helper, to stay with you forever, who will lead you into all truth". They follow the god of the nations in Jesus' name, perverting the true knowledge of the message of the grace of God (Jude 1:4).

So, "In my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for I have no one else like Timothy, who genuinely seeks to do Messiah's will. All have turned aside and serve their own interests" - Philippians.

Good help is hard to find, and without looking specifically at one website or another, what I say is "test all things, hold fast to the good" - because all have turned aside and seek their own interests.

I have never found a church or ministry that is representing God accurately (ie: faithfully in diligence) 100% of the time. At some stage there is a failure of the proper application of scripture, a distortion or disbedience of the scripture that makes them oppose The Holy Spirit's teaching through the scripture. For example, when Jesus says "if you love me, feed my sheep" and I walk into a church, all their brochures are advertising this and that, and there is an envelope on every seat asking for money, it is clear to see that the spirit of Mammon is dominating in that place. They cannot serve two masters, so therefore that church does not represent The Holy Spirit.

The truth is so radically different than a person would expect, so when we say these things, it's almost unbelievable. But they are those who have taken the broad road leading to destruction, who Jesus says "I never knew you, you are a worker of iniquity". I am sorry you have been brushed by their evil spirit. Be strong! Know when you are right and wrong according to what you know of your heart's intention!

Ben Collyer said:

you say that I am doing well, but I've no hunger for the word, I havent a song in my heart for God, I spend more time making music than serving him, and John piper does nothing but say "WHOA, confess that and repent!, your in trouble! your not doing it right!"

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All I say about this, is that you've not yet found the fullness of faith. If you are receiving teaching from a person because of the name he has, then you are of the carnal mindset (John 5:44, Matthew 23:8).

This is not to say that there is no merit in these words.. how can it be said that you are doing it right, if you are not seeing your making of music as being a service to Him? "Matthew 19:29".

.. let me put it this way: if you had produced some music that was doing good in His view (ie: used in direct gospel, or carrying forth a good message in the world), then how could He not possibly say "well done, good and faithful servant"?

ps, if your music is well made, then your one day's work has potential to speak to millions of people daily and change lives on a scale that cannot be achieved by walking the streets.

2 All a man’s ways are pure in his own eyes,
but Adonai weighs the motives.
3 Commit whatever you do to Adonai,
and your plans will succeed.
4 Adonai works everything out for his own purpose—
even the wicked for a day of disaster.
Proverbs 16:2-4

You have a lot on your plate. How are you holding up Ben?

Ben Collyer said:

do you know what I mean though when I talk about ministries like DesiringGod? and the countless others like it

its all about

PUT AWAY IDOLS

READ YOUR BIBLE DAILY

LOVE GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART

MAKE SURE YOU DO THESE 3 THINGS IN YOUR MARRIAGE OR YOU WONT PLEASE GOD

MAKE SURE TO DO THESE 3 THINGS AT WORK OR YOU WONT PLEASE GOD

Dont do this, dont do that

all I get from these ministries is CONDEMNATION.

also, even if God did give me an aptitude for music,

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Then stop listening to those Ministries that continually Condemn you.
Stop trying to live your life by someone else's standards.

Whenever I hear someone say, this is a 3 or 5 step plan, I turn them off.
Whenever you try to live by some plan, you will eventually be condemned.

Ben Collyer said:

Thank you, be that as it may, what do ministries like desiringGod actually offer to the world? I sometimes wonder if DesiringGod does more damage to the kingdom of God than good, because the standard of holiness and righteousness they exhort is IMPOSSIBLE...its like a repackaged form of the law

you say that I am doing well, but I've no hunger for the word, I havent a song in my heart for God, I spend more time making music than serving him, and John piper does nothing but say "WHOA, confess that and repent!, your in trouble! your not doing it right!"

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I am not familiar with Desiring God, and I won't agree with everything the highly esteemed Mr. Piper has to say, but I do have respect for his relationship with the Lord, and for his knowledge of scripture. I'm not convinced that well-researched programs expect people to live up to the impossible, but the way some things are presented can be misunderstood to be just that. It's the difference between "WHOA, confess that and repent!, your in trouble! your not doing it right!" and "Sometimes we have to have difficult conversations to encourage each other in good Christian faith, this is one of those times, and I love you and want to see you grow in faith. It seems you are struggling with _____. Can we talk about that?"

I think no matter what the program, they can become uncomfortable when the participants are feeling convicted and become defensive against conviction. No worries there... it's what programs are supposed to do; otherwise, they would not work to help people grow in faith. As well, the Bible is similar in that it presents the ideal, not the expectation. In fact, the Bible itself says "WHEN you are tempted..." Iow, those who are mature in faith know and acknowledge that we ARE going to be tempted and we ARE going to fail. But that's why we need Jesus, because when we do fail, we can draw closer to God by calling out to Jesus, repenting, and knowing that Jesus has covered over our sin with his sacrifice. But it's no longer about living clean; it's about loving Jesus and turning to him when we live dirty.

Ben Collyer said:

please correct me then! instead of simply affirming Gods unconditional and personal love for us, they just write articles reminding us how far short of perfection we are! then tell us to confess and repent, its quite backwards in my opinion. holiness comes from a heart transformed by knowing and recieving Gods love by faith, and then change occurs over time.

the God of john piper is a cruel and demanding taskmaster that cannot be pleased

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This is why I think you're doing well. You are questioning, you are evaluating, challenging, seeking correction, and you KNOW where holiness comes from. It's not about works. You're right - God's transformation in your spirit comes first, and then changed behaviour is the byproduct. Holiness does not come from good behaviour. Good behaviour comes from pursuing holiness. The irony is that when we are reminded of how short of perfection we fall, the more we can turn to Jesus in need of his salvation, the more we pursue holiness. Not that we need to be reminded of our shortfall often, but it does serve somewhat of a function by driving us back to Jesus in repentance, so we do not become complacent in our sin.