Is Sex Sinful in Committed Relationship

CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN · May 24, 2018

My dad taught me. Who ever you have sex with. Means you're married to them in God's eyes. So some Christian's have different views on the subject. I was also taught wait until marriage. But most people I know didn't wait. The only one, that I know that might of waited besides my self . Might be my mom and dad. But they don't discuss such matters.

Kevin Snow · May 24, 2018

CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN said:
My dad taught me. Who ever you have sex with. Means you're married to them in God's eyes. So some Christian's have different views on the subject. I was also taught wait until marriage. But most people I know didn't wait. The only one, that I know that might of waited besides my self . Might be my mom and dad. But they don't discuss such matters.

Since I was a little kid I have known that sex is the marriage and by God's graces has kept me a virgin all this time! I am still waiting for my wife before the Lord, understanding that I will be sure to have godly children as God desires.

It is through this one fact that I have been kept safe from harm. Praise be to God!

Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. ~Malachi 2:15

Apologetic_Warrior · May 24, 2018

Ashley_123 said:
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We are young but we are both Christian and strong in our faith. We have only ever been with each other & want to be married one day & are excited for our future together. However, one thing we struggle with is sex. We both know it is sin and we know we are young but it can be difficult to avoid temptation and we have definitely failed in the past. Is having sex when you are in a committed relationship really a sin? Especially when you both plan to be married. We are just young (20) which is why we are not married as we are still finishing our degrees and dont have a place together yet . We are both just very lost and struggle with this a lot.

My advice, focus on getting married asap, if money is an issue, there's no shame in doing a simple courthouse wedding. While it might be nice to have a big wedding, the same money is better spent on other things you'll need on down the line. Some good advice given here, but I think we know the sex will probably not stop, whether we consider it sin or not (history has a way of repeating itself). Getting married asap will ease both of your consciences and it will no longer be sin or a temptation, just the opposite.

Seek the Lord in this, pray for strength and guidance and forgiveness and plead for a way to become married. God bless!

CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN · May 24, 2018

Kevin Snow said:
Since I was a little kid I have known that sex is the marriage and by God's graces has kept me a virgin all this time! I am still waiting for my wife before the Lord, understanding that I will be sure to have godly children as God desires.

It is through this one fact that I have been kept safe from harm. Praise be to God!

Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. ~Malachi 2:15

I think a lot of people claim to wait. But when they get knocked up. Or get their girlfriend knocked up. Then the secret comes out.

Dave-W · May 24, 2018

Kevin Snow said:
That most certainly is NOT an oath man. You are stretching the word of God to get your own meaning from it. But seek the truth which is from above.

Every native Hebrew speaker and biblical Hebrew scholar I know agree with what I said that they were marriage oaths. There is even a good treatise on it in the Talmud (tractate Ketubim I think)

Wedding Vows At Mount Sinai
http://www.torahnotes.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/God-Married-Israel.pdf

Dave-W · May 24, 2018

CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN said:
I think a lot of people claim to wait. But when they get knocked up. Or get their girlfriend knocked up. Then the secret comes out.

Yep. That happened with both my wife's parents and my own. So it is nothing new, by any stretch.

Resha Caner · May 24, 2018

Dave-W said:
It can allow people to open up and share what they NEVER would in person.

And it also allows them to get horrible advice from people they don't know. Honestly, I think the desire here is to enable/validate what they've already decided to do.

Dave-W · May 24, 2018

Resha Caner said:
And it also allows them to get horrible advice from people they don't know.

There is always that danger.

Resha Caner said:
Honestly, I think the desire here is to enable/validate what they've already decided to do.

In some cases, absolutely. But not everyone is that shallow.

And IMO Ashley is being honest in her query.

Ashley_123 · May 24, 2018

Resha Caner said:
Why is anonymity important? If you're ashamed about what you're asking, or there is no one in your life you can trust to ask such a question, that may be your answer right there. The Internet is a horrible place to solve real personal problems. That someone would think to come here for advice that will impact their life is yet another commentary on the state of things.

I'm not ashamed of what I am asking and I don't feel I must explain how I went about things to anyone. Especially since it is anonymous. All you know about me is my name & that I am seeking advice from fellow Christian's. And I am definitely not looking to be criticized either Thank you

CRAZY_CAT_WOMAN · May 24, 2018

Ashley. I'm sure you will do what you want. But if it feels like a sin to you. It will just make you feel guilty. Or pregnant if you don't use birth control. I would have a problem , if I was with someone for 3 years. And no marriage.

1 John 4:1 · May 24, 2018

Dave-W said:
Every native Hebrew speaker and biblical Hebrew scholar I know agree with what I said that they were marriage oaths. There is even a good treatise on it in the Talmud (tractate Ketubim I think)

Wedding Vows At Mount Sinai
http://www.torahnotes.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/God-Married-Israel.pdf

To add to what you said: a planned marriage is treated differently under the law than a sexual union. If they were the same it would be unfair to treat them differently. A sexual union doesn't require certificate of divorce to negate while a marriage does. See post below. Also, I would caution you about debating with Mr. Snow (also see post below) (as I have not found this fruitful and he is condescending even after I had at-first complimented his thoughts on the subject: Is Sex Sinful in Committed Relationship

1 John 4:1 said:
I did read the context . . . I believe the context of Luke 16:18 was about serial marriages they were doing in that day that were basically the same as sleeping around. (see the ridiculous question the pharisees ask in Matthew 19:3 which shows this and is also part of the context for the same statement in Matthew 19:9) You can also see this in Hillel on divorce: Babylonian Talmud: Gittin 90 If you take the verse as meaning that literally there would be no point of Deuteronomy 24:4 in light of Leviticus 20:10 because they should have been stoned before that. More obviously Exodus 22:16-17 is a problem for sex-is-marriage-view since the father could break up a sexual union that had already happened which would contradict: Mark 10:9
↑
"The truth is already shown. Stop arguing it with words. The commitment IS the sexual union:"
Oh . . . sorry so I'm not supposed to use words. Oh man, I used them again. Oh no, I used them again. Oh no . . .
↑
"But because you don't perceive reality well doesn't change reality."
Oh man, well if I can't perceive reality well I guess there is no hope for me. Funny you are still arguing with me then. Does this say something about you?

Try being more respectful to me otherwise I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

EDIT: Also it says in Exodus 22:16-17 "if the father utterly refuses to give her to him" This means to me that she wasn't his in the first place. So it's not even considered negating or breaking up anything like a marriage. Although, I do think it would be better in most cases if they married and I 100% agree that divorce is wrong. However, if it's in the law then it seems to me it must not have been as wrong as some situations a bad or abusive marriage could put a family in.

Resha Caner · May 24, 2018

Ashley_123 said:
And I am definitely not looking to be criticized either

So you'll only listen to those who support what you're already doing?

You say you're in a committed relationship and plan to marry. So you've announced your engagement to your families and have set a tentative wedding date?

Ashley_123 · May 24, 2018

Resha Caner said:
So you'll only listen to those who support what you're already doing?

You say you're in a committed relationship and plan to marry. So you've announced your engagement to your families and have set a tentative wedding date?

I'll listen to those who are helpful/answer my questions whether it is for or against what I'm doing. i am reading and taking what every single person has to say on this thread seriously. You however are just being obnoxious . Have a blessed day & I'd appreciate no further comment from you. Do as you wish though.

Resha Caner · May 24, 2018

Ashley_123 said:
I'll listen to those who are helpful/answer my questions whether it is for or against what I'm doing. i am reading and taking what every single person has to say on this thread seriously. You however are just being obnoxious . Have a blessed day & I'd appreciate no further comment from you. Do as you wish though.

Yet, since joining this site, I'm the only one you've replied to. What advice are you getting from people you're not talking to regarding a relationship you won't give any information about?

RDKirk · May 24, 2018

Ashley_123 said:
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We are young but we are both Christian and strong in our faith. We have only ever been with eachother & want to be married one day & are excited for our future together. However, one thing we struggle with is sex. We both know it is sin and we know we are young but it can be difficult to avoid temptation and we have definitely failed in the past.
Is having sex when you are in a committed relationship really a sin? Especially when you both plan to be married. We are just young (20) which is why we are not married as we are still finishing our degrees and dont have a place together yet . We are both just very lost and struggle with this a lot.

I haven't heard you mention a reason not to get married, if you're so committed.

cvanwey · May 25, 2018

Ashley_123 said:
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We are young but we are both Christian and strong in our faith. We have only ever been with eachother & want to be married one day & are excited for our future together. However, one thing we struggle with is sex. We both know it is sin and we know we are young but it can be difficult to avoid temptation and we have definitely failed in the past.
Is having sex when you are in a committed relationship really a sin? Especially when you both plan to be married. We are just young (20) which is why we are not married as we are still finishing our degrees and dont have a place together yet . We are both just very lost and struggle with this a lot.

In all honesty, most 'sin' is practically irrelevant, according to scripture. Take the 10 commandments, for example. Are you as concerned about lying? And yet, we all do it, for 'good' and 'not-so-good' reasons. This is in direct breach of commandment 9. And yet, if you conform to John 3:16 and Mark 16:15-16, and wholeheartedly profess to be Christian, I'm pretty sure, again, according to the Bible, if you lied to your friend, 'by telling her she looked good in her dress', when maybe you felt she actually didn't, but did not want to hurt her feelings; but then immediately died right after that, again, according to scripture, you would most likely go to heaven.

I'm not writing this to present or 'expose' a loophole, I'm just being honest. The basis for Christianity appears to be belief. You obviously believe. Morals appear practically devoid from heaven verses hell. Everyone 'sins'. Salvation.... Meaning, believing you are saved, is the key.

I guarantee you commit plenty of other 'sins', as do I.... I also bet these other 'sins' hardly absorb as much of your time, or you might not bother posting questions about them with concern. We all 'sin', period.

I hope this helps?

Radagast · May 25, 2018

cvanwey said:
In all honesty, most 'sin' is practically irrelevant, according to scripture.

I'm pretty sure the OP was not looking for non-Christian advice.

cvanwey · May 25, 2018

Radagast said:
I'm pretty sure the OP was not looking for non-Christian advice.

I'm pretty sure the OP-er is looking for honest advice, which is what I'm giving... If you follow the book, it's hard to rebuke this reality (believer or non-believer or skeptics alike)...

Peace

yeshuaslavejeff · May 25, 2018

cvanwey said:
I'm pretty sure the OP-er is looking for honest advice, which is what I'm giving... If you follow the book, it's hard to rebuke this reality (believer or non-believer or skeptics alike)...

Peace

I've read your post in this thread, and it is directly opposed to honesty and truth and God's Word.
Your posts in other threads likewise lack integrity and are not honest in line with God's Word.
To even listen to your anti-Scriptural advice is the opposite of wisdom and is opposed to God's Word.

cvanwey · May 25, 2018

yeshuaslavejeff said:
I've read your post in this thread, and it is directly opposed to honesty and truth and God's Word.
Your posts in other threads likewise lack integrity and are not honest in line with God's Word.
To even listen to your anti-Scriptural advice is the opposite of wisdom and is opposed to God's Word.

Matthew 7:1-6 New International Version (NIV)

Judging Others
7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Who anointed you to be the purveyor of truth? You seem more interested in judging me, then helping the OP-er. This appears very un-Christian-like...?

My point, to the OP-er, is that all sin carries value. We all sin. If you believe, accept Jesus' salvation, and avoid blasphemy, you are golden, (according to the Bible). According to the Bible, this IS God's word.

Is Sex Sinful in Committed Relationship

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