Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

Danielwright2311 · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
I stopped trusting Jesus. Why? because it was a bad choice, the worst choice I ever made.
33 now, I made the choice to follow Jesus when I was 15, and I have done so with passion. But my passion is dead, I cannot wait any longer for God to do what he said...break the power of sin in my life. I did everything I was supposed to do, but god did not. I cannot even say god with a capital G anymore, I refuse to.

I doubt Gods love, and since the age of 15 I have tried my best to seek him in every decision I made, and here I am, don't even know what the holy spirit leading is, and I swear to god, I fast often for that main purpose - to be more sensitive to the leading and guiding of the holy spirit...all to no avail.

My life has no true purpose. They say you find your purpose in Jesus, well, that a lie, because this jesus has not given me any purpose. All the things I wanted to do for him, I no longer want to do, because I am still bound by sin in every way imaginable. I do not know what else to do, and I have tried everything inside the bible, and some things outside of the bible. That's how I know that trusting the bible to be real and following jesus were the worse things I ever did. Because jesus of the bible was a deliverer, but to this day, I have found no deliverance from that man.

I openly confessed him and trusted him, and now I am rejecting the thought of him. They say the closer you get to him, the more like him you will become, well, I do not want to be close to god anymore. When I tried to get close, and I did try, but I only hated life more and found less joy a meaningfulness in life. It's sad too because I have a wife and children who I preach Christ to adamantly (not like a preacher), and try to lead in a goldy example. But it's just not working. So I'm done trying.

I just needed to vent.

In this life we all die and that is why we know its void, if you are looking for happiness on this earth then you need to reevaluate life in general.

Everything on this earth dies or stops at some point, even family, children, wife's and money, power or position and even the idea of happiness.

So why hold on to things that end or die? its pointless

The only thing true in this life is God and Jesus as they are eternal and forever and do not die or rust or break.

Also if you give up in Jesus now you give up in your right to eternity in heaven.

Why do that? Why would you choose to give up heaven for ever for this life that breaks and is corrupt and ends? that makes no sense at all.

Jesus does love you, but he also knows breaking you down to your lowest point will some day bring him closer to you.

And this is the idea, to bring us close to him so we will be loved by him.

Giving up in Jesus is like saying I love this dead end life so much I'm giving up on eternity in heaven.

Think about it

in heaven

No Pain
eternal love
great purposes
always being needed
always felling wanted
never being hungry
never being poor
never being homeless
always having a real family who wants the best for you

I can go on for hours here

But you need to understand one thing

If you give up now, you give up eternity in heaven.

Bible Believing Gentiles · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
My own sin.

What sin?

Xavier Cane · May 14, 2018

Bible Believing Gentiles said:
What sin?

It does not matter what sin. Its a problem.

anna ~ grace · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
No, I'm leaving christ because I enjoy my sin and god is doing nothing to change that. I have done all I know to do to change it, but I cannot help the things I like. I can try to avoid it, and I can try to occupy my time, but I have never had the power to overcome, at least not consistently. I'm leaving jesus because it has wasted enough of my years. I dedicated myself to him, and for what? Hurt, pain, disappointment. Not disappointment by men, but disappointed by the god of the bible. he said he would deliver me, and that has not happened. He told me to follow him, and I did, but yet I am bound. So why follow someone who does not keep promises? That's why I'm leaving. It's not just about the sin I like, its about the sin I like that God will not remove or put something in its place. NOpe. But thanks for trying to help.

Maybe you're simply being too hard on yourself. If you've legitimately struggled and tried and keep falling, maybe part of the struggle you're being challenged to bear is that desire. I struggle with pride, rage, self pity, and loneliness.

Ten years later, I still struggle with all of these things. But so far I haven't killed anyone, or destroyed anyone's reputation, so that's good. Victories can look like different things.

Xavier Cane · May 14, 2018

Danielwright2311 said:
In this life we all die and that is why we know its void, if you are looking for happiness on this earth then you need to reevaluate life in general.

Everything on this earth dies or stops at some point, even family, children, wife's and money, power or position and even the idea of happiness.

So why hold on to things that end or die? its pointless

The only thing true in this life is God and Jesus as they are eternal and forever and do not die or rust or break.

Also if you give up in Jesus now you give up in your right to eternity in heaven.

Why do that? Why would you choose to give up heaven for ever for this life that breaks and is corrupt and ends? that makes no sense at all.

Jesus does love you, but he also knows breaking you down to your lowest point will some day bring him closer to you.

And this is the idea, to bring us close to him so we will be loved by him.

Giving up in Jesus is like saying I love this dead end life so much I'm giving up on eternity in heaven.

Think about it

in heaven

No Pain
eternal love
great purposes
always being needed
always felling wanted
never being hungry
never being poor
never being homeless
always having a real family who wants the best for you

I can go on for hours here

But you need to understand one thing

If you give up now, you give up eternity in heaven.

That's considering it is true in the first place. And I do not think it is. The promises of God has fallen to the ground in my life. Totally. So for me, its not real at all. just bunch of good thought. Prove to me Jesus died on a cross. Were you there to see it? no. YOu trust what was written and rewritten and rewritten.

ToBeLoved · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
I know god doesnt need my help, but he still is not on my team, and I'm not on his anymore. I'm not going to trust God for anything. I do not need him. I tried this for far too long, and it really makes me hate life. God gives no joy at all. But hey, I made the mistake in trusting some god. I wont do it again.

Is the joy in living the life or living your life knowing when you die that eternity with God is your future.

Many of us do not get great things out of this life. Our hope is that we know God promises this is not our home.

When Jesus was here, He said the same thing. That He goes before us to prepare a place for us.

Xavier Cane · May 14, 2018

ToBeLoved said:
Is the joy in living the life or living your life knowing when you die that eternity with God is your future.

Many of us do not get great things out of this life. Our hope is that we know God promises this is not our home.

When Jesus was here, He said the same thing. That He goes before us to prepare a place for us.

Neither. I have no hope. My hope for this life was God, it has always been. But I'm crushed. No way god would let me into heaven. For one, he has not fulfilled his promises to me in this life, so why would I trust him for any other? Where is my life more abundant? huh. yeah.

Xavier Cane · May 14, 2018

Gracia Singh said:
Maybe you're simply being too hard on yourself. If you've legitimately struggled and tried and keep falling, maybe part of the struggle you're being challenged to bear is that desire. I struggle with pride, rage, self pity, and loneliness.

Ten years later, I still struggle with all of these things. But so far I haven't killed anyone, or destroyed anyone's reputation, so that's good. Victories can look like different things.

Perhaps you may be right, but your sins does not involve other people, only you. My sins will destroy lives...literally.

anna ~ grace · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Perhaps you may be right, but your sins does not involve other people, only you. My sins will destroy lives...literally.

So will mine, if I give up on basic self control entirely. And the hatred? Definitely involves other people.

Aldebaran · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
Perhaps you may be right, but your sins does not involve other people, only you. My sins will destroy lives...literally.

I have sins that would destroy lives too if I act upon them. Some of those sins have hurt others. I guess I'm not perfect, but I'm not proud of that either. It makes me hate the fact that I still sin, which makes me not want to do it.

Southernscotty · May 14, 2018

I wish to tell you that God/Jesus has not left you, nor forsaken you and He never will friend. What you are experiencing is what everyone else here is that is a christian and we all have our sins.
Your sins are no worse than mine and Jesus died for them all. Heb 4:15 Says He was tempted just as we are and guess what. He alone was perfect, this is why He is at the right hand of the Father. IT IS FINISHED!!!!
He is your atonement and you accept Him to cover your sins.
Stop listening to satan's lies and tell him to get behind you.

Bible Believing Gentiles · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
It does not matter what sin. Its a problem.

Clearly it matters. If you don't feel comfortable telling it out loud on here, why not pm me?

Danielwright2311 · May 14, 2018

Xavier Cane said:
That's considering it is true in the first place. And I do not think it is. The promises of God has fallen to the ground in my life. Totally. So for me, its not real at all. just bunch of good thought. Prove to me Jesus died on a cross. Were you there to see it? no. YOu trust what was written and rewritten and rewritten.

death is real, and you will die, so why chance if its real?

This life is full of energy we all know and see on a daily basis that ends and we know all things end on this earth and life and this is why its so hard to see eternity.

I trust God who is living and visits me daily, he takes care of me and proves his living soul, its a real living relationship just not some trust issue.

Would you like me to teach you ways to have the lord God prove him self to you?

is that what your asking?

Bible Believing Gentiles · May 14, 2018

He's not chancing anything. If he really got saved ever then he is GOd's possession, and nothing he says will change that. Sealed for the day of redemption. Though it may be sad. Because tears arent washed away until after the thousand years

Aldebaran · May 14, 2018

Bible Believing Gentiles said:
He's not chancing anything. If he really got saved ever then he is GOd's possession, and nothing he says will change that. Sealed for the day of redemption. Though it may be sad. Because tears arent washed away until after the thousand years

Sort of like the Prodigal Son. He tried running away from home, but then realized that home was better than the world.

Southernscotty · May 14, 2018

This is purely warfare for this young man. Let's all join in prayer for him.

Danielwright2311 · May 14, 2018

Bible Believing Gentiles said:
He's not chancing anything. If he really got saved ever then he is GOd's possession, and nothing he says will change that. Sealed for the day of redemption. Though it may be sad. Because tears arent washed away until after the thousand years

if he denies Jesus then he is chancing heaven over hell, we all are Gods possession as we all are his creation. But still need to be saved by Jesus.

Danielwright2311 · May 14, 2018

Southernscotty said:
This is purely warfare for this young man. Let's all join in prayer for him.

Amen

Bible Believing Gentiles · May 14, 2018

Aldebaran said:
Sort of like the Prodigal Son. He tried running away from home, but then realized that home was better than the world.

Whether he ever realizes that or not, it won't make any difference. Crowns are another thing entirely, but nobody has a right to judge that. If he believed the gospel he's in, no matter how bad life gets our brother down. Even to the point of not recognizing any faithfulness whatsoever.

Being sealed for the day of redemption is the bees knees.

But i digress. I think bud, the real issue here is you didn't listen to

"Judge not, lest ye be judged."

That doesn't just go for other people,. that goes gfor yourself to. So if you sit here and judge yourself over sin, you are in essence committing sin which in turn does not allow the bond of sin to be broken. So you continue in misery doing the same sin over and over. Judge yourself, and you've taken the right away from who it belongs to. And He said it's finished.

Emli · May 14, 2018

Have you been in fellowship with other believers?

Jesus is the worst decision I ever made.

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