- Apr 6, 2018
- 6
- 20
- 35
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
This might be long, I tend to make longer messages. I'll attempt to keep it short instead of going into my past and into detail too much.
I'm 29 now. I have recovered from OCD to an extend, but still suffer from it. Here is how it affects me.
Take anything you actually enjoy, now imagine this (Only read if OCD doesn't affect you). Without any control, you feel an extreme compulsion to empty your bladder to the last drip, repeatedly (often taking over an hour in order to convince myself it's fine). This is done because I fear getting up during whatever I might enjoy. There is a bit of a health issue behind this, though. See, I sometimes have to use a catheter, as urination is difficult for me (always has been. If you don't know what a catheter is, it is a draining tube put into the body. A urinary catheter is put in to reach the bladder, and I've done this thousands of times, no exaggeration there. It has also hurt in the past in order to urinate, even kidney stones have occurred. One more thing is that I'm on extreme pain killers, yes, narcotics, but legally prescribed and I don't use them for fun. So when I get up, I fear I may end up hurting more.
Anyway, it applies to anything that becomes the number 2 thing in my life (Christ being number one, and it does not affect me when reading The Word or witnessing). If that thing in my life changes, it switches to that. It may not sound bad, but I have literally gone days without drinking any liquid just so I KNOW I won't have to go. I'd trade it for the stereotypical "OCD people have to clean everything!" anyday.
I also experience severe pain due to multiple injuries to my spinal cord and other nerve damage. Insomnia as well. The OCD condition affects my pill usage, as well. While the rational part of me knows 4 pills will get me to sleep or help enough with pain, the OCD side instead doubles it, or even more. It generally affects all aspects of my life.
I pray most of the day, as that is the only time I feel calm. I am severely disabled now and thus live with my parents. OCD combined with my memory problems (short term memory loss which is similar to how my grandpa acted when he was in the late stage of alzheimer's) can result in me forgetting I took pills and thus overdosing, so my mother keeps track. The OCD is but one part of the suffering, and I do not get angry with The LORD. I just have many things I go through, many of which my original daddy had as well.
I'm not really looking for advice since I've tried tons of advice with no results. However it is okay if you would like to give me some. I mainly just need prayer. Life is very difficult, and I know it could be worse, but it's still quite hard. I see people at church in their 90s capable of thinking, moving around, and such, far better than I. It all began after I was about 18-19, though there were minor effects before that. So my youth was short. I completely missed my 20s. I give these worries over to Christ.
I'm 29 now. I have recovered from OCD to an extend, but still suffer from it. Here is how it affects me.
Take anything you actually enjoy, now imagine this (Only read if OCD doesn't affect you). Without any control, you feel an extreme compulsion to empty your bladder to the last drip, repeatedly (often taking over an hour in order to convince myself it's fine). This is done because I fear getting up during whatever I might enjoy. There is a bit of a health issue behind this, though. See, I sometimes have to use a catheter, as urination is difficult for me (always has been. If you don't know what a catheter is, it is a draining tube put into the body. A urinary catheter is put in to reach the bladder, and I've done this thousands of times, no exaggeration there. It has also hurt in the past in order to urinate, even kidney stones have occurred. One more thing is that I'm on extreme pain killers, yes, narcotics, but legally prescribed and I don't use them for fun. So when I get up, I fear I may end up hurting more.
Anyway, it applies to anything that becomes the number 2 thing in my life (Christ being number one, and it does not affect me when reading The Word or witnessing). If that thing in my life changes, it switches to that. It may not sound bad, but I have literally gone days without drinking any liquid just so I KNOW I won't have to go. I'd trade it for the stereotypical "OCD people have to clean everything!" anyday.
I also experience severe pain due to multiple injuries to my spinal cord and other nerve damage. Insomnia as well. The OCD condition affects my pill usage, as well. While the rational part of me knows 4 pills will get me to sleep or help enough with pain, the OCD side instead doubles it, or even more. It generally affects all aspects of my life.
I pray most of the day, as that is the only time I feel calm. I am severely disabled now and thus live with my parents. OCD combined with my memory problems (short term memory loss which is similar to how my grandpa acted when he was in the late stage of alzheimer's) can result in me forgetting I took pills and thus overdosing, so my mother keeps track. The OCD is but one part of the suffering, and I do not get angry with The LORD. I just have many things I go through, many of which my original daddy had as well.
I'm not really looking for advice since I've tried tons of advice with no results. However it is okay if you would like to give me some. I mainly just need prayer. Life is very difficult, and I know it could be worse, but it's still quite hard. I see people at church in their 90s capable of thinking, moving around, and such, far better than I. It all began after I was about 18-19, though there were minor effects before that. So my youth was short. I completely missed my 20s. I give these worries over to Christ.
