I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Neogaia777

Old Soul
Site Supporter
Oct 10, 2011
23,290
5,242
45
Oregon
✟958,691.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I really don't mean what I said, and certainly not for it to apply to ""everybody"... I'm just upset is all...

And, I am just mainly talking about two people in my life, (or that were in my life) (up to recently), in particular... I knew them both and had a close relationship with them for years, but just couldn't do it or take it anymore, and I went through some changes that made me different now...

I'm really "mourning" their loss, it almost as if they died almost... Or at least that's what it feels/felt like letting them go...

I'm having all kinds of emotions about and over it, that I'm trying to sort out (on here) trying to figure out "what happened" and "why" genuinely, truly why I am so upset about it...? all that...

One of them did have a pretty bad childhood, but that was the one I worked on the most daily for like 15 years of my life, and what I was doing just didn't seem to be working and seemed to in fact, only be making things worse...

Anyhow, thank you all for listening and bearing with me...

God Bless!
I patiently, lovingly "endured" for a very long time... And, believe it or not, the way I used to be, I even "enjoyed" it even though I knew I was patiently, lovingly enduring it and putting up with them basically...

But, when I went through some changes, I just couldn't do it anymore like I used to, and, toward the end, I started to get impatient and short with them... Which led to the ending of those relationships, and I don't if I'm more mad at myself, than them, or what...?

But, it feels like they died, that's how bad it is... I just wanted to love them, but they wouldn't have it... I needed them to change, toward the end, because of my changes, or I knew it wasn't going to end well... Which of course, is exactly what happened, it ended up not ending well at all...

Now there gone, and I'm fighting the urge to try and get them back, but know that I shouldn't or just really "can't" at this point...

Anyhow,

God Bless!
 
Upvote 0

GirdYourLoins

Well-Known Member
Nov 27, 2016
1,220
929
Brighton, UK
✟122,682.00
Country
United Kingdom
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I really don't mean what I said, and certainly not for it to apply to ""everybody"... I'm just upset is all...

And, I am just mainly talking about two people in my life, (or that were in my life) (up to recently), in particular... I knew them both and had a close relationship with them for years, but just couldn't do it or take it anymore, and I went through some changes that made me different now...

I'm really "mourning" their loss, it almost as if they died almost... Or at least that's what it feels/felt like letting them go...

I'm having all kinds of emotions about and over it, that I'm trying to sort out (on here) trying to figure out "what happened" and "why" genuinely, truly why I am so upset about it...? all that...

One of them did have a pretty bad childhood, but that was the one I worked on the most daily for like 15 years of my life, and what I was doing just didn't seem to be working and seemed to in fact, only be making things worse...

Anyhow, thank you all for listening and bearing with me...

God Bless!
Grieving a loss is grieving a loss in any situation. I hae had that with people I called friends in the past, mainly users who only wanted to be my friend when it suited them. You will get over it and move on. in the mean time get it out of your system, I know that works for me as part of the healing process.

And as for the more mad at yourself and them, make the choice to forgive yourself and them and then pray it through with God until you have reached full forgiveness.
 
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Neogaia777
Upvote 0

salt-n-light

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Aug 8, 2017
2,607
2,526
32
Rosedale
✟165,859.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Celibate
I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Any of the rest of you have a problem with these kind of people...?

People who either constantly brag on themselves, or their accomplishments all the time, or "what they know" all the time, OR, (and there is another group) people who constantly, "constantly" talk about themselves and "their" "problems" AND, "their" "problems" with everyone else, and can't seem to get off it, get over themselves, and let it go...?

I have to distance myself from these people,cause it's just not healthy for me, and there is just "no getting through" to them I feel, I use to feel "sorry" for the latter group, and my heart use to really go out to them, but, not anymore...

It's insanity...

Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?

Comments...?

God Bless!

Sometimes I can be overly proud and arrogant, and stubborn. So, its like looking in the mirror. Puts things in perspective, and I instantly pick up three lessons:

1. its always lack control, so I dont feed the fire.
2. its always lack wisdom, so I learn to discern the good from the bad
3. theres always a backstory. They usually tell their personal story when they see that other tactics aren't effective. I've seen this way too many times, where sympathy becomes the last resort. Anytime I see that I already know they are really feeling helpless in the dispute, and I don't bother go any further. At least I try not to anyways.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Neogaia777
Upvote 0

paul becke

Regular Member
Site Supporter
Jul 12, 2003
4,011
814
83
Edinburgh, Scotland.
✟205,214.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Politics
UK-Labour
I struggle with a lot of issues, and I use to struggle a lot in the past, with the very same issues I am now complaining or venting about a bit, right now... (and it is just venting a bit), I just wish they could learn what I have learned (and am still in the process of) learning...

I just want to love them for God's sake, but they are getting in the way of that, I just want to be their friend... And if you look at my posts in post #5 and #12 for example, my frustration is that they get in the way of me being able to truly love them the way I really want to, and I know they would love it too, but...?

I'm just at a loss, don't know what to do, feel like I am being forced to just let them go, when I really do not want to at all, but feel like I have to...

I hate it... (don't hate them, I hate "it") The "it" that I feel is within their control and/but that is getting in the way (of me being their friend, and they being my friend) (and loving them) (the way I really want to)...

Does anyone out there understand my, or this frustration...?

God Bless!

Hahahaaaa i never noticed.

The lion represents the quote, which has been very helpful to me, as it's a reminder that God (and His Word) can defend Himself.

Thank you :)
 
Upvote 0

bugkiller

Well-Known Member
May 16, 2015
17,773
2,634
✟80,400.00
Faith
Non-Denom
I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Any of the rest of you have a problem with these kind of people...?

People who either constantly brag on themselves, or their accomplishments all the time, or "what they know" all the time, OR, (and there is another group) people who constantly, "constantly" talk about themselves and "their" "problems" AND, "their" "problems" with everyone else, and can't seem to get off it, get over themselves, and let it go...?

I have to distance myself from these people,cause it's just not healthy for me, and there is just "no getting through" to them I feel, I use to feel "sorry" for the latter group, and my heart use to really go out to them, but, not anymore...

It's insanity...

Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?

Comments...?

God Bless!
Unfortunately that is a must do if you are going to participate anywhere. I usually find only two types of people the self centered and self important promoters. Follow and subscribe to their agenda or make a stand. The problem people you are talking about will DE-socialize you.

I recently had a conversation about erecting a building. The other participant wanted me to use a tamper on wet concrete instead of a bull float. They wanted me to measure corner to corner to male sure things were square. They don't know about the 6-8-10 relationship of a right angle. Had to repeat myself several times. They also want me to be occupied to the point I can't participate in my government as a private citizen. IOW drop out and shut up. They both have college degrees.

bugkiller
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

thesunisout

growing in grace
Site Supporter
Mar 24, 2011
4,761
1,399
He lifts me up
✟159,601.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Any of the rest of you have a problem with these kind of people...?

People who either constantly brag on themselves, or their accomplishments all the time, or "what they know" all the time, OR, (and there is another group) people who constantly, "constantly" talk about themselves and "their" "problems" AND, "their" "problems" with everyone else, and can't seem to get off it, get over themselves, and let it go...?

I have to distance myself from these people,cause it's just not healthy for me, and there is just "no getting through" to them I feel, I use to feel "sorry" for the latter group, and my heart use to really go out to them, but, not anymore...

It's insanity...

Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?

Comments...?

God Bless!

Some people are more difficult to deal with than others but all of them are made in Gods image. What I do is listen for what the Spirit wants me to do, and often He gives me ways to engage people who are very difficult to talk to. It's not easy to deal with peoples short comings, but the Holy Spirit will give us the strength and patience to do so. Gods heart is to reach these people with the light of Jesus Christ.
 
Upvote 0

joshua 1 9

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
May 11, 2015
17,420
3,592
Northern Ohio
✟314,577.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Guilt and fear are not from the Lord.
I feel guilt when I fail to do something I should have. We need to learn from that do do better next time. Ezekiel 3:17 talks about the watchmen and how they are required to deliver the message that God gives them to deliver. God well hold them accountable.

17 "Son of man, I have appointed you a watchman to the house of Israel; whenever you hear a word from My mouth, warn them from Me. 18 "When I say to the wicked, 'You will surely die,' and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way that he may live, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity, but his blood I will require at your hand.
 
Upvote 0

Ron Gurley

What U See is What U Get!
Sep 22, 2015
4,000
1,029
Baton Rouge, LA
Visit site
✟87,895.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
Jesus cautioned His followers to not be judgmental as to the SPIRITUAL POSITION of others.

Luke 6:37
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned.

Matthew 7 (NASB)...Judging Others
1 “Do not judge so that you will not be judged.
2 For in the way you judge, you will be judged;
and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.
3 Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye?
5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

HOWEVER, the WORKS of others should be judged and weighed.

Matthew 7:17
So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit..

John 15:2
Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit.

As to a fellow believer:

SEE:

How should Christ-followers relate to "ONE ANOTHER" (Greek:"allelon") ??

A wise pastor once challenged:
Q: Does the phrase "ONE ANOTHER" in the NT refer ONLY to BELIEVERS ??
A: YES!

"one" AND "another"
occurs in 250 verses in the NASB, including 145 "exact phrases"

to one...Hebrew 376...'iysh...A.man, male (in contrast to woman, female)...whosoever...each

another...Hebrew 251...'ach...I.brother...C.relative, kinship, same tribe
D.each to the other (>>reciprocal relationship<<)

Genesis 42:21 (NASB)
Then they (Joseph's brothers) said to ONE ANOTHER,
“Truly we are guilty concerning our brother,
because we saw the distress of his soul when he pleaded with us, yet we would not listen;
therefore this distress has come upon us.”

one another...Greek 240...allelon...I.one another, >>reciprocally<<, mutually

Mark 9:50...Jesus:
“Salt is good; but if the salt becomes unsalty, with what will you make it salty again?
Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with ONE ANOTHER.”

THEME:
HOW SHOULD the fellowship of BELIEVERS / Christ-followers in the "Body of Christ" aka "CHURCH"relate to "ONE ANOTHER"?


Mark 9:50...Jesus:
...be at peace with ONE ANOTHER...." (the GOOD NEWS!)

>>PAUL...PETER...JOHN...JAMES...advice to the "churches"<<

1 Thessalonians 5:13
...Live in peace with ONE ANOTHER...

Ephesians 4:32
...Be kind to ONE ANOTHER, tender-hearted, forgiving EACH OTHER, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you....

Colossians 3:13
...bearing with ONE ANOTHER, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone;
just as the Lord forgave you , so also should you (forgive)....

James 5:16
...confess your sins to ONE ANOTHER, and pray for ONE ANOTHER so that you may be healed.
The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much....

Galatians 5:13
...through love, serve ONE ANOTHER...

1 Peter 4:10
...As each one has received a special GIFT , employ it in serving ONE ANOTHER
as good stewards of the manifold grace of God....

1 Peter 4:9
...Be hospitable to ONE ANOTHER without complaint....

1 Thessalonians 5:11
...Therefore encourage ONE ANOTHER and build up ONE ANOTHER,...

1 John 3:11,23
...For this is the message which you have heard from the beginning, that we should love ONE ANOTHER..
...This is His commandment,
that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and
love ONE ANOTHER, just as He commanded us . (SEE also: John 15: Jesus: "I am the vine; you are the branches.")

1 Peter 4:8
...Above all, keep fervent in your love for ONE ANOTHER, because love covers a multitude of sins.

Hebrews 10:24
...let us consider how to stimulate ONE ANOTHER to love and (to) good deeds....

1 Thessalonians 3:12
...and may the Lord cause you (believers) to increase (in number) and abound in love for ONE ANOTHER , and for all people, ....

Galatians 6:2
...Bear ONE ANOTHER's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ ... (Love God + Love Neighbor as Self?)

Ephesians 4:2
....with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for ONE ANOTHER in love ....


Philippians 2:3
...Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit , but with humility of mind, regard ONE ANOTHER as more important than yourselves...


Ephesians 4:25
...Therefore, laying aside falsehood ... SPEAK TRUTH (EACH ONE of you) WITH HIS NEIGHBOR ,
for we are members (parts) of ONE ANOTHER...(don't gossip!!!)

Galatians 5:26
...Let us not become boastful , challenging or ...envying ONE ANOTHER...

1 Thessalonians 5:15
....See that no ONE repays ANOTHER with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for ONE ANOTHER and for all people ....

James 4:11
...Do not speak against ONE ANOTHER, brethren .
He who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks against ..and judges the Law...


1 "one another": A LOVING SUMMARY:

1 Peter 3:8 (NIV)
Finally, all of you,
be like-minded,
be sympathetic,
love one another,
be compassionate and humble.

1 Peter 3:8-9, 15b (NASB)
To sum up, all of you (believers)
be harmonious,
sympathetic,
brotherly,
kindhearted, and
humble in spirit;
9 not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead;...
15b ...always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you,
yet with gentleness and reverence...
21b...(SPIRITUAL) baptism now saves you
—not the removal of dirt from the flesh, (John's ritual water baptism)
but an appeal to God for a good conscience
—through the resurrection of Jesus Christ,
22 who is at the right hand of God, having gone into heaven,
after angels and authorities and powers had been subjected to Him.
 
Upvote 0

brinny

everlovin' shiner of light in dark places
Site Supporter
Mar 23, 2004
248,794
114,490
✟1,343,276.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Private
Politics
US-Constitution
Surely, we need people who will stand up and defend, and take a stand for the Faith though, right...?

I mean, many of the people we revere and follow in Christianity even went so far as to give their lives for just that, and would sacrifice a lot for just that... Champions (warriors, soldiers) in and of the faith...

And, I think it is safe to say that without them (defending the/their faith) (and the Word of God, and the God of the Word) we may not even have it today, right...?

I'm not trying to make anybody feel bad for "not doing that" though... It may not be for everyone... I just think it is for people like me, with my kind of personality...

I kind of enjoy it also, I learn a lot and it makes me feel good, and i like to sharpen and hone my God given skills... And keep in practice and keep and stay sharp (in this)...

What do you guys think...?

God Bless!

I agree. For me, i am learning to "be still" and to TRUST Him as He leads me and to graciously state His cause, knowing that God will SURELY step in as His Holy Spirit works in the hearts, minds, and souls of who i might be speaking to.
 
Upvote 0

snerd

Stayin' in the Word!
Site Supporter
Jan 5, 2006
37
12
Oklahoma
✟34,723.00
Country
United States
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Single
Politics
US-Republican
......... I just want to love them for God's sake, but they are getting in the way of that, I just want to be their friend... And if you look at my posts in post #5 and #12 for example, my frustration is that they get in the way of me being able to truly love them the way I really want to, and I know they would love it too, but...?
You seem to care only about what “you” get out of the relationship. You know they would love the way you would love them?! Sorry, but that’s very presumptive of you. Of course, I don’t know the finer details of the relationships, but this is what came immediately to mind while reading your post. And I have read the entire thread. All I can offer is to pray pray pray. As a famous rocker used to say........... you can’t always get what you want!
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

klutedavid

Well-Known Member
Dec 7, 2013
9,346
4,381
Sydney, Australia.
✟244,844.00
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Single
I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Any of the rest of you have a problem with these kind of people...?

People who either constantly brag on themselves, or their accomplishments all the time, or "what they know" all the time, OR, (and there is another group) people who constantly, "constantly" talk about themselves and "their" "problems" AND, "their" "problems" with everyone else, and can't seem to get off it, get over themselves, and let it go...?

I have to distance myself from these people,cause it's just not healthy for me, and there is just "no getting through" to them I feel, I use to feel "sorry" for the latter group, and my heart use to really go out to them, but, not anymore...

It's insanity...

Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?

Comments...?

God Bless!
That self preoccupation is a powerful human flaw, which is, the antithesis of love.

Even the apostles were afflicted with this self preoccupation, this concern with one's self importance.

Mark 9:33-34
They came to Capernaum; and when He was in the house, He began to question them, “What were you discussing on the way?” But they kept silent, for on the way they had discussed with one another which of them was the greatest.

Love is probably the most difficult of all the gifts from God to implement. Real love has an enormous cost, your life, but the rewards are as promised; are out of this world.

I am convinced that knowing Jesus is the only real way, to truly understand the truth about humanity. Your looking into the very heart of the problem that humanity has, an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance. Personal success in career, sport, family, hobbies, life. e.t.c.

The truth be known, I do not think many folk ever come close to exerting love towards others. Certainly not in the way Jesus expressed perfect love. A degree of kindness and tolerance at times, but not a deep love of humanity. Nearly all avoid the terrifying reality of true love.
 
Upvote 0

SkyWriting

The Librarian
Site Supporter
Jan 10, 2010
37,279
8,500
Milwaukee
✟410,948.00
Country
United States
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...Any of the rest of you have a problem with these kind of people...?
People who either constantly brag on themselves, or their accomplishments all the time, or "what they know" all the time, OR, (and there is another group) people who constantly, "constantly" talk about themselves and "their" "problems" AND, "their" "problems" with everyone else, and can't seem to get off it, get over themselves, and let it go...?I have to distance myself from these people,cause it's just not healthy for me, and there is just "no getting through" to them I feel, I use to feel "sorry" for the latter group, and my heart use to really go out to them, but, not anymore...It's insanity...Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?Comments...?God Bless!

Unless you return to your heartfelt response, you are becoming one of them.
 
Upvote 0
This site stays free and accessible to all because of donations from people like you.
Consider making a one-time or monthly donation. We appreciate your support!
- Dan Doughty and Team Christian Forums

Vicomte13

Well-Known Member
Jan 6, 2016
3,655
1,816
Westport, Connecticut
✟93,837.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?

Comments...?

I certainly do. I find these arrogant people incredibly annoying, especially when they interrupt my story to talk about themselves!
 
Upvote 0