I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Shempster

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Don't know and as I said, (in this thread) (post#5 and #12) I used to feel very sorry for them, and spent a lot, a lot, or great time, energy, and effort trying to help them, and help them see things differently, and they just drained me, and sucked me dry...

It's harder for me to do now...

God Bless!
Of course.
Especially when the same people do the same things and push for the reaction they want. It can be difficult. Especially when you can't get away from them, like family members or a co-worker.
I suppose we all have some of them in our lives
 
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paul becke

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LOL! Female hunter-killer type?
You know - it's the females who do the hunting, while the 'old man' just festers with his pals - unless they see an imminent 'rumble' in the form of another bunch of younger males approaching, looking to see if they can take over the females ! They actually count their potential opponents, to assess their chances.

Anyway, 'the kingdom of heaven is taken by the violent', if we understand true strength, enduring, spiritual strength as passive strength, the strength to endure, as in that strange exultant declaration on the occasion of Jesus' crucifixion :
Colossians 2:15
"When He had disarmed the rulers and authorities [those supernatural forces of evil operating against us], He made a public example of them [exhibiting them as captives in His triumphal procession], having triumphed over them through the cross."

But, of course, it's still down to grace, as this person indicates :
The Kingdom of Heaven Taken by Violence

Sorry for digressing so far, Neogaia777. I was going to reply : 'You and most of Chistendom', but there are a lot of more interesting aspects that other posters have suggested, aren't there ? Well you have said so.
 
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brinny

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You know - it's the females who do the hunting, while the 'old man' just festers with his pals - unless they see an imminent 'rumble' in the form of another bunch of younger males approaching, looking to see if they can take over the females ! They actually count their potential opponents, to assess their chances.

Anyway, 'the kingdom of heaven is taken by the violent', if we understand true strength, enduring, spiritual strength as passive strength, the strength to endure, as in that strange exultant declaration on the occasion of Jesus' crucifixion :
Colossians 2:15
"When He had disarmed the rulers and authorities [those supernatural forces of evil operating against us], He made a public example of them [exhibiting them as captives in His triumphal procession], having triumphed over them through the cross."

But, of course, it's still down to grace, as this person indicates :
The Kingdom of Heaven Taken by Violence

Sorry for digressing so far, Neogaia777. I was going to reply : 'You and most of Chistendom', but there are a lot of more interesting aspects that other posters have suggested, aren't there ? Well you have said so.

Thank you. :)
 
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brinny

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A very neatly-clipped haircut, too - around the mane - if I may say so.

Hahahaaaa i never noticed.

The lion represents the quote, which has been very helpful to me, as it's a reminder that God (and His Word) can defend Himself.

Thank you :)
 
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mkgal1

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The issue that I see is that it seems that humility is no longer valued (and instead, it's actually being demeaned as "weak" and "spineless"...."lacking courage").

This last year seemed to really exacerbate things. As someone else mentioned earlier...I do think it has a lot to do with social media, but I'm pretty sure the attitudes have been there all along. I've lost friends on social media this past year that I've been friends with for almost 30 years (and we'd never had problems prior). I've spoken with several others that have also experienced the same thing (one friend lost contact with her own sister....and they've been close their whole lives! Now her sister has blocked her phone number and has blocked her on all social media).

People seem to be more attached to their arguments than they are their family and friends.

Because of all that, this has become my recent favorite Bible verse:

"Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love."~Ephesians 4:2
 
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Neogaia777

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Hahahaaaa i never noticed.

The lion represents the quote, which has been very helpful to me, as it's a reminder that God (and His Word) can defend Himself.

Thank you :)
Surely, we need people who will stand up and defend, and take a stand for the Faith though, right...?

I mean, many of the people we revere and follow in Christianity even went so far as to give their lives for just that, and would sacrifice a lot for just that... Champions (warriors, soldiers) in and of the faith...

And, I think it is safe to say that without them (defending the/their faith) (and the Word of God, and the God of the Word) we may not even have it today, right...?

I'm not trying to make anybody feel bad for "not doing that" though... It may not be for everyone... I just think it is for people like me, with my kind of personality...

I kind of enjoy it also, I learn a lot and it makes me feel good, and i like to sharpen and hone my God given skills... And keep in practice and keep and stay sharp (in this)...

What do you guys think...?

God Bless!
 
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Deadworm

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I don't know...? Find friends that are not like that, I guess...?

Friends that are not to wrapped up in themselves to not see my value as a friend, or how, or to see how I value them as a friend...?

I guess...?

God Bless!

The easy way out is to shove the self-absorbed out of your life. But if you also have the right kind of friends, then you would likely have the energy to minister to them.
For example, I attend a small weekly prayer group and visit a few shut-ins on a weekly basis. I talk to others about how these prayers meetings and shut-ins are more of a blessing to me than I am to them--to encourage the proud to do the same or at least appreciate the joys of altruistic activity.

I try to cut off impending gossip as soon as it begins. If someone asks me, "Do you want to hear my horror story about Anne?" I say, "No, that's between you and Anne."
If someone unkindly attacks someone behind their back in the presence of others, I might say, if appropriate, "Oh, I'm so sorry; she always speaks so well of you!" Or I might try to use self-effacing humor in response to a compliment: e. g. "Yes, God uses me, but also gives me the grace to be humble. I mean, I don't think I'm half as good as I really am!" A light touch can sometimes stifle arrogance, because arrogance is often a reflection of taking oneself too seriously.

I have also found insecurity and misery often lurking beneath an arrogant spirit. So I wait for the time that the arrogant are displaying vulnerability and then try to affirm any movement towards unselfish virtues and remind them of a time when they were unselfishly helpful and express appreciation for those moments, while remaining silent when they are immersed in their arrogant act.
 
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mkgal1

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Surely, we need people who will stand up and defend, and take a stand for the Faith though, right...?
Well.....how did Jesus instruct us? Didn't He sum up the Law into just two things for us to do (loving God and loving others)? The problem I see is in how people define that. I think Brinny is correct when she posted that "God (and His Word) can defend them self". We are to "walk in His light".
 
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Neogaia777

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Well.....how did Jesus instruct us? Didn't He sum up the Law into just two things for us to do (loving God and loving others)? The problem I see is in how people define that. I think Brinny is correct when she posted that "God (and His Word) can defend them self". We are to "walk in His light".
I think it depends on your personality, and what you feel called to within...? None is any better or worse, or lesser or greater than the other, just different...

And without people in the past defending the faith, we may not even have the faith today, so isn't it still needed now also...?

And, yes, there is/are some major problems in how different people define that...

How did the apostles do it, did they not evangelize and defend and spread the faith, but also loved others to, or also...?

Their are so many different ways of doing it (spreading the good news gospel, defending the faith, loving people), there are so very many different ways of doing it that I cannot count...

And none should be seen as better or worse than the other, or lesser or greater than the other, right...?

God Bless!
 
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mkgal1

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while remaining silent when they are immersed in their arrogant act.
This is the difficult part (but I completely agree that it's effective). I've used the term "holy duct tape" to describe what's necessary in those instances. I'm a chatty person, so my silence (I think) says more than any words can say :D
 
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Neogaia777

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I think it depends on your personality, and what you feel called to within...? None is any better or worse, or lesser or greater than the other, just different...

And without people in the past defending the faith, we may not even have the faith today, so isn't it still needed now also...?

And, yes, there is/are some major problems in how different people define that...

How did the apostles do it, did they not evangelize and defend and spread the faith, but also loved others to, or also...?

Their are so many different ways of doing it (spreading the good news gospel, defending the faith, loving people), there are so very many different ways of doing it that I cannot count...

And none should be seen as better or worse than the other, or lesser or greater than the other, right...?

God Bless!
For example, I think the way @brinny does it, is just "awesome", I cannot say enough good things about it, or her... But, that's just "not me" or not my way (of doing it/things) and I think there should be room for both...

God Bless!
 
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mkgal1

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I think it depends on your personality, and what you feel called to within...? None is any better or worse, or lesser or greater than the other, just different...

And without people in the past defending the faith, we may not even have the faith today, so isn't it still needed now also...?
Personally, I think that it's much more effective to first have a relationship with a person in order to send any sort of message to them (as far as our faith goes). Unless it's a matter of standing out by kind and sincere gestures. To me....that's an example of "defending the faith" that does get absorbed by strangers.

And, yes, there is/are some major problems in how different people define that... How did the apostles do it, did they not evangelize and defend and spread the faith, but also loved others to, or also...?
I'm coming to believe that the apostles message was far different than we've commonly believed. I don't believe it was a warning of "accept Christ or you're going to hell". Instead I believe it was (my paraphrase), "flee Jerusalem because there's a day coming soon of total destruction....Jesus warned us of this and we believe Him".
 
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Neogaia777

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Personally, I think that it's much more effective to first have a relationship with a person in order to send any sort of message to them (as far as our faith goes). Unless it's a matter of standing out by kind and sincere gestures. To me....that's an example of "defending the faith" that does get absorbed by strangers.

I do that a lot (in person) (just not on here so much)...

I'm coming to believe that the apostles message was far different than we've commonly believed. I don't believe it was a warning of "accept Christ or you're going to hell". Instead I believe it was (my paraphrase), "flee Jerusalem because there's a day coming soon of total destruction....Jesus warned us of this and we believe Him".

I don't know about that, but maybe... I think it's supposed to be truth, but also good news too...?

God Bless!
 
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Neogaia777

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I struggle with a lot of issues, and I use to struggle a lot in the past, with the very same issues I am now complaining or venting about a bit, right now... (and it is just venting a bit), I just wish they could learn what I have learned (and am still in the process of) learning...

I just want to love them for God's sake, but they are getting in the way of that, I just want to be their friend... And if you look at my posts in post #5 and #12 for example, my frustration is that they get in the way of me being able to truly love them the way I really want to, and I know they would love it too, but...?

I'm just at a loss, don't know what to do, feel like I am being forced to just let them go, when I really do not want to at all, but feel like I have to...

I hate it... (don't hate them, I hate "it") The "it" that I feel is within their control and/but that is getting in the way (of me being their friend, and they being my friend) (and loving them) (the way I really want to)...

Does anyone out there understand my, or this frustration...?

God Bless!
 
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Neogaia777

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I learned that is was ultimately not very good for them (or me) but mainly for them, and was not working for or in their best interests, in the end... And the way I use to handle them and love them, was "creating monsters" so to speak, and just making things much worse (which is also very frustrating)... (that the way I really want to love them is or was doing that, cause that''s what I prefer, but can't, which is very frustrating...)

Anyone out there understand...?

It's almost like Jesus with the Pharisees, he did love the pharisees, but couldn't love them in the way he wanted to either...

Anyone understand...?

God Bless!
 
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GirdYourLoins

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I'm sick and tired of dealing with overly proud and arrogant people...

Any of the rest of you have a problem with these kind of people...?

People who either constantly brag on themselves, or their accomplishments all the time, or "what they know" all the time, OR, (and there is another group) people who constantly, "constantly" talk about themselves and "their" "problems" AND, "their" "problems" with everyone else, and can't seem to get off it, get over themselves, and let it go...?

I have to distance myself from these people,cause it's just not healthy for me, and there is just "no getting through" to them I feel, I use to feel "sorry" for the latter group, and my heart use to really go out to them, but, not anymore...

It's insanity...

Anyone else have this kind of problem sometimes...?

Comments...?

God Bless!
Hi, I'm sure I have discussed with you on here how issues in childhood can affect people in adult life. Apologies though if I am getting you mixed up with someone else.

People who have complex PTSD often need to discuss their problems and it is a way of coping wiht the neglect they suffered as children. People like me who did not receive any show of love as children often learn to deal with issues as they are growing up by offloading them to others. It is not in any way meant to burden the other person but is the only way we/they can cope sometimes. It may not be all of the people who talk about their problems but you need to be aware your attitude can cause already damaged people further hurt.
 
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paul becke

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I struggle with a lot of issues, and I use to struggle a lot in the past, with the very same issues I am now complaining or venting about a bit, right now... (and it is just venting a bit), I just wish they could learn what I have learned (and am still in the process of) learning...

I just want to love them for God's sake, but they are getting in the way of that, I just want to be their friend... And if you look at my posts in post #5 and #12 for example, my frustration is that they get in the way of me being able to truly love them the way I really want to, and I know they would love it too, but...?

I'm just at a loss, don't know what to do, feel like I am being forced to just let them go, when I really do not want to at all, but feel like I have to...

I hate it... (don't hate them, I hate "it") The "it" that I feel is within their control and/but that is getting in the way (of me being their friend, and they being my friend) (and loving them) (the way I really want to)...

Does anyone out there understand my, or this frustration...?

God Bless!
Go through the motions. Don't seek them out or listen to them enthusastically, but without being too obvious about it, let it go over your head, and meanwhile ponder on the different graces we are given at different stages of our life. That way, praying for them will be easier.

I've just read the previous post by GYL and believe it accords nicely with what I had in mind, though more explicitly and clearly even to myself !
 
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Neogaia777

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Hi, I'm sure I have discussed with you on here how issues in childhood can affect people in adult life. Apologies though if I am getting you mixed up with someone else.

People who have complex PTSD often need to discuss their problems and it is a way of coping wiht the neglect they suffered as children. People like me who did not receive any show of love as children often learn to deal with issues as they are growing up by offloading them to others. It is not in any way meant to burden the other person but is the only way we/they can cope sometimes. It may not be all of the people who talk about their problems but you need to be aware your attitude can cause already damaged people further hurt.
I really don't mean what I said, and certainly not for it to apply to ""everybody"... I'm just upset is all...

And, I am just mainly talking about two people in my life, (or that were in my life) (up to recently), in particular... I knew them both and had a close relationship with them for years, but just couldn't do it or take it anymore, and I went through some changes that made me different now...

I'm really "mourning" their loss, it almost as if they died almost... Or at least that's what it feels/felt like letting them go...

I'm having all kinds of emotions about and over it, that I'm trying to sort out (on here) trying to figure out "what happened" and "why" genuinely, truly why I am so upset about it...? all that...

One of them did have a pretty bad childhood, but that was the one I worked on the most daily for like 15 years of my life, and what I was doing just didn't seem to be working and seemed to in fact, only be making things worse...

Anyhow, thank you all for listening and bearing with me...

God Bless!
 
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