Is sex before premarital sex really sinful?

Mskriskris said:

Nope, my opinion is that premarital sex and prostitution are of the same mindset, selling your body. It may be pitched differently, seen differently, phrased differently, but in hindsight it's doing the same thing.

You're argument is that they are totally different. All yet, you haven't explained that.

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CosmicOsmo said:

Short answer: yes, having sex without the intention to spend the rest of your life with that person is missing the mark and not God's original plan. It is sin and it is destructive.

Long answer: don't listen to the fools who use the word "fornication" as a synonym to premarital sex. Fornication doesn't mean premarital sex, but sexual sin in general. The bible talks almost nothing about premarital sex and the only place where it does mention it, it says you should get married if that happens (Exodus 22:16).

The spirit of the word is that marriage = becoming one flesh = sex. In fact, that is how marriage is defined in the book of Genesis: "and they shall be one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). The special bonding between man and woman is what is to be kept sacred and the other things like pieces of paper and rings and such are cultural and secondary.

The devil has had great success deceiving - through movies, books, laws of the nations etc. - even the church into believing that sex and marriage are somehow separate... that you can have all the sex you want but until you find the "special one" its "just sex" (look for that oft' repeated mantra in the next worldly movie you watch: this brainwashing phrase is all over the place!). This is totally contrary to the Word for God.

The flipside of this issue is divorce. A woman will say that she has a piece of paper from the judge saying she is no longer someone's wife and is therefore free to marry someone else. Not so. First of all, Jesus clearly says no man should separate a married couple (Mark 10:9), annulling that judge's piece of paper. Secondly no worldly court is qualified to judge such issues to begin with (1 Corinthians 6:4)

You can take your chances and go do whatever and try to explain it to God later, perhaps even repent later, but it is sin. God can forgive all sin so I'm not condemning you to hell or anything like that, but all those partners before marriage will chip away at your ability to bond with your partner later.

You can look for what you can get away with and still be saved "by the skin of your teeth", but if you want to know God's heart on this issue, look at the higher standards (not the ones given because of the "hardness of their heart"), such as "And he shall take a wife in her virginity" (Leviticus 21:13).

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fat wee robin said:

A couple of the opposite sex who love and honour one another are 'married ' in the sense that God created them .The formal step of marriage was only needed when humanity no longer heard
in their hearts God's natural laws . Like children we have to be disciplined and guided back to the original
state . The more Religious you are the more likely you are to be far from 'hearing' God's laws in your heart as you need lots of guidance .
Doing what Jesus commanded comes naturally to those who have been literally re -born in Christ .

Prostitution is a selling of your body for money .I won't take my time to explain as I have plenty of other work to do ,but it is obvious to those who hear the Spirit of God ,not neccessary to explain to adults .

I am finished with this thread and will answer no more questions

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fat wee robin said:

It is in the bible ,but you cannot see it ;you have to be born again, literally .

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TommySoda said:

I do realize it is condemned in the bible at all cost but some part of me just feels it was meant for that time and culture and not us. The reason I’m saying this is because during biblical times most engagements were set up by the spouses families and they weren’t allowed to meet each other until they married. Clearly this isn’t the case anymore now since dating exists and parents no longer intrudes in their children’s dating life. What I’m getting at with this is, isn’t it possible it was FAR more easier to be celibate when you already had a planned engagement at a young age? In modern times most people don’t marry strangers and marriages are decided by them not their parents based off of class or benefits like biblical times. Most people don’t even marry until they’re WAY older.

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Jon Osterman said:

I waited until my wedding night, as did my wife. And, to be honest, I regret that we did. We built it up so much in our minds but were so inexperienced and naive that when the wedding night came, the sex was awful, frustrating, painful and unpleasant. This put us off sex for years, and the memory of it still causes me to avoid sexual intimacy. If I am honest, the only reason I have sex now is because I feel obliged to.

I look back and wonder, if sex had not been such a big deal, not been made so much of a "scared cow" by the supposedly Christian culture we were raised in, would we have been able to enjoy sex in our marriage?

Of course, not everyone will feel that way, and it is a very personal thing. But this is just my experience (or lack thereof).

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Mskriskris said:

Maybe see a counselor about it?

Between treating it like a sacred cow, and having it be preversed, I rather treat it as a sacred cow. Grass is not greener on the other side.

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faroukfarouk said:

Interesting your use of the term sacred cow in this context, but I know what you mean, indeed.

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Mskriskris said:

The "sacred cow" was in reference to how Jon was describing the way Church highlights marital sex as.

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gideon123 said:

I understand that the marriage age is much older, and that does make things more difficult. But the idea that if you date 10 people and have sex with them - that will give you a better chance at a good marriage ... that is completely false.

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TommySoda said:

You sound like a good parent and overall nice person. I personally find it terrible advice, because let’s say your son turned 18 and said “hey dad I met this girl I really like and we’ve been dating for a short amount of time but I find her extremely attractive” would you tell him to rush into a marriage? And I don’t mean to turn this into a red hearing just setting an example. I personally think you at least should be dating someone for a year or two before you make a commitment like that so you can feel them out. I think rushing into marriage for sex is horrible advice because after the sex you’re practically married to a stranger who you probably didn’t even really like that well and now you’re stuck with them.

Mskriskris said:

Orrrrr you can teach the son how to wait until marriage. Meantime teach them what it means to be a husband, what it means to honor a woman, what manhood is, what womanhood is, what to consider with marriage.

You wouldn't just rush ahead and said " oh you find her sexy? Great! Here's a condom enjoy!" just because he's find her sexy. More than likely, he finds many women sexy, even if he was to make her his gf.
It's a grave thing when we more encourage having sex with people we don't even understand. Boys and girls having sex outside marriage, but don't know what it means to be a boy or girl, what's the responsibilities of boy to a girl and vice versa, the sacredness of it all. And then we wonder why there is so much sexual confusion.

That's why so many don't see the need to rush into marriage anyways, because they got the most intimate parts of the other, what would be the rush or need to commit? Alll this is done without understanding the spiritual consequences.

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MercyandFaith said:

There's an elephant in the room that many Christians and churches won't address. which is that, at a certain age or point, abstinence simply becomes downright unreasonable.

It's one thing to tell teenagers or people in their 20s to abstain; people usually got married in their late teens in the Biblical era. But when believers are in their 30s, 40s, 50s or even 60s, abstinence is simply downright ridiculous and unreasonable.

Take the example of a Christian woman who doesn't get married until her 50s or even beyond (and yes, such women do exist - I know of one myself, personally.) Does this commandment literally mean that she should shouldn't have sex until getting married at, say, age 56? At that age, she has going through her entire child-fertility cycle without once having sex, thus preventing her from ever having biological children. It's an utter absurdity.

Sure, some will say, "Well, she should have gotten married sooner." But that's not always possible - sometimes, God simply does not bring the right spouse/person into one's life until one is fairly old - 40s, 50s or beyond. So one is supposed to remain sexless ALL THE TIME until then?

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MercyandFaith said:

So one is supposed to remain sexless ALL THE TIME until then?

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TommySoda said:

I do realize it is condemned in the bible at all cost but some part of me just feels it was meant for that time and culture and not us. The reason I’m saying this is because during biblical times most engagements were set up by the spouses families and they weren’t allowed to meet each other until they married. Clearly this isn’t the case anymore now since dating exists and parents no longer intrudes in their children’s dating life. What I’m getting at with this is, isn’t it possible it was FAR more easier to be celibate when you already had a planned engagement at a young age? In modern times most people don’t marry strangers and marriages are decided by them not their parents based off of class or benefits like biblical times. Most people don’t even marry until they’re WAY older.

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Tetra said:

Okay... but you're suggesting obedience by not sinning... how do you know what is or isn't a sin in areas which are not explicitly discussed in the Bible?

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