If I am special to God. Why?

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

If I am special to God why was I abused by my Dad? When I finally come out with it, nobody really believed me and my Dad just hit me harder. True, he was/is an alcoholic in desperate need of Christ but... why didn't God do something to prevent my Dad from thinking of me as a pathetic piece of cow [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? Never once did my Dad ever say that he was proud of me, never once did I have a supportive dad who supported anything I ever wanted to do. Even when I wanted to become a minister he didn't support me. I'm not even going to tell him that I'm making a website to lead people like me to Christ because, he wouldn't care. No, I've only had one Father my entire life and that was God but if God really loves me why didn't he give me a Father that cares? And God the Father doesn't count. I don't want God the Father I want a biological dad!

If I am special to God why did God allow my Dad to try to smother me to death with a pillow when he got angry? The worst part is? My dad remembers it and he's proud of it! It was so scary! Why did God allow me to suffer like that?

If I am special to God why did I have to witness my Dad beat my mom right in front of me because she was defending me? If I am special to God why didn't he give me the strength to defend her and fight back? Why was I always so scared of my Dad growing up? Never once did I ever fight back whether I was a eight year old child or when I was a pathetic little 25 year old man who still lived with his parents? I've forgiven my Dad but, come on! Why? Why did I have to suffer for almost 26 years before I finally got the hell out of my parents house? Why?

If I am special to God why was I born with this curse of a mental illness? Why won't he cure me? Why the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] does he allow me to call him Satan almost every single day? That bothers me SO much! Why does he allow demons to torment me every single day? I know that he knows that It's not really me saying these things but, come on! A loving God who thinks a person is special would not want someone that he loved to suffer like this!

If I am special to God why did he create me with all these problems that I have that cause the whole world to hate me. Why am I so alone? I want to talk about these problems but if I did, I'd only be judged or worse, murdered. Because, I have done some truly horrible things. If God loves me why did he allow me before I came to Christ to do those horrible things? Why does he allow me to sin against him every single day as if he doesn't even care that I am such a wretched and vile sinner? I am a sinner in desperate need of God's mercy and I have obtained it but why? If God loves me why? Why doesn't he just give me the punishment that I deserve instead of an eternity in heaven with him which, quite frankly I don't deserve! Because I am a worse sinner than anyone else here! Why am I forgiven? It infuriates me!

I want to believe that I am special. That I am chosen because scripture says so. I want to believe that God is proud of me and the things that I am doing for him But I cannot bring myself to believe that. I only believe that some of the time. But, most of the time I feel unloved, forsaken, and miserable. Why? That's what I want to know and hopefully someone here can answer because I don't want to wait until I die to ask God myself. Why?

Southernscotty · Apr 6, 2018

I will start with saying I am so sorry that your bio dad was a jerk. I am glad you say that you have forgiven him but have you? You are harboring a lot of hate inside my Brother and that spreads like cancer. You need to understand that God your Father loves you very much and He does NOT like to see you suffer. He has forgiven you the moment that you ask Him too.
The problem is our freewill. It is a blessing, But also a curse because we "think" we know what we want? and what is best, but our decisions are based on fleshly desire and always about what "we" want. God knows what is best for us and yet He wanted us to love Him because we want too, Not because we are trained "robots" walking around saying I love you God!!. That would not be love.
I cannot truly answer your question about why bad things happen but I can tell you that if you ask God to forgive you and you forgive others, then He is always just to do so. I have been messaging with you and I know your heart is a good one, You are hurting Brother and I am praying for peace for you. I will catch you in a message later and perhaps our dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ can help you.

Winken · Apr 6, 2018

Don Watson
Seek no more.....the answer is Jesus.

friend of · Apr 6, 2018

Mad respect for you man

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

Southernscotty said:
I will start with saying I am so sorry that your bio dad was a jerk. I am glad you say that you have forgiven him but have you? You are harboring a lot of hate inside my Brother and that spreads like cancer. You need to understand that God your Father loves you very much and He does NOT like to see you suffer. He has forgiven you the moment that you ask Him too.
The problem is our freewill. It is a blessing, But also a curse because we "think" we know what we want? and what is best, but our decisions are based on fleshly desire and always about what "we" want. God knows what is best for us and yet He wanted us to love Him because we want too, Not because we are trained "robots" walking around saying I love you God!!. That would not be love.
I cannot truly answer your question about why bad things happen but I can tell you that if you ask God to forgive you and you forgive others, then He is always just to do so. I have been messaging with you and I know your heart is a good one, You are hurting Brother and I am praying for peace for you. I will catch you in a message later and perhaps our dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ can help you.

Yes I've forgiven him. I called him on the phone when I first moved out of my parents house. And told him that I had a lot of anger inside about him hitting my mom but I forgive him. I just don't understand why God allowed that to happen. As far as I know he isn't still abusing my mom. It was only the one time but he abused me for years. I learned to forgive him over the years as I moved out of his house.

Heart2Soul · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
If I am special to God why was I abused by my Dad? When I finally come out with it, nobody really believed me and my Dad just hit me harder. True, he was/is an alcoholic in desperate need of Christ but... why didn't God do something to prevent my Dad from thinking of me as a pathetic piece of cow [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? Never once did my Dad ever say that he was proud of me, never once did I have a supportive dad who supported anything I ever wanted to do. Even when I wanted to become a minister he didn't support me. I'm not even going to tell him that I'm making a website to lead people like me to Christ because, he wouldn't care. No, I've only had one Father my entire life and that was God but if God really loves me why didn't he give me a Father that cares? And God the Father doesn't count. I don't want God the Father I want a biological dad!

If I am special to God why did God allow my Dad to try to smother me to death with a pillow when he got angry? The worst part is? My dad remembers it and he's proud of it! It was so scary! Why did God allow me to suffer like that?

If I am special to God why did I have to witness my Dad beat my mom right in front of me because she was defending me? If I am special to God why didn't he give me the strength to defend her and fight back? Why was I always so scared of my Dad growing up? Never once did I ever fight back whether I was a eight year old child or when I was a pathetic little 25 year old man who still lived with his parents? I've forgiven my Dad but, come on! Why? Why did I have to suffer for almost 26 years before I finally got the hell out of my parents house? Why?

If I am special to God why was I born with this curse of a mental illness? Why won't he cure me? Why the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] does he allow me to call him Satan almost every single day? That bothers me SO much! Why does he allow demons to torment me every single day? I know that he knows that It's not really me saying these things but, come on! A loving God who thinks a person is special would not want someone that he loved to suffer like this!

If I am special to God why did he create me with all these problems that I have that cause the whole world to hate me. Why am I so alone? I want to talk about these problems but if I did, I'd only be judged or worse, murdered. Because, I have done some truly horrible things. If God loves me why did he allow me before I came to Christ to do those horrible things? Why does he allow me to sin against him every single day as if he doesn't even care that I am such a wretched and vile sinner? I am a sinner in desperate need of God's mercy and I have obtained it but why? If God loves me why? Why doesn't he just give me the punishment that I deserve instead of an eternity in heaven with him which, quite frankly I don't deserve! Because I am a worse sinner than anyone else here! Why am I forgiven? It infuriates me!

I want to believe that I am special. That I am chosen because scripture says so. I want to believe that God is proud of me and the things that I am doing for him But I cannot bring myself to believe that. I only believe that some of the time. But, most of the time I feel unloved, forsaken, and miserable. Why? That's what I want to know and hopefully someone here can answer because I don't want to wait until I die to ask God myself. Why?

I know how much you are hurting...I went through much of what you have shared....the thing about the sin in mankind is that God cannot interfere with free will....your father had the free will to be abusive and needs to repent and find Jesus....What you are suffering from the most is the need to be loved AND understood....you have some baggage that you are carrying from your past...it will keep getting heavier and heavier until you can no longer bear it and you fall to the weight of it. This baggage is known as anger, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness.....so what your father did was wrong, HORRIBLY wrong and it can and will destroy you if you don't let it go and give it to God.....He will heal all your pain, your suffering, your struggles to make sense of everything in your life.....and when you forgive then that baggage falls off and the heavy weight on your heart is lifted....don't let the past determine or define who you are.....call upon God for He was there when you were suffering the abuse and He hurt...BUT He gave YOU an extra dose of strength to be able to carry on...and rise above.
If you are no longer living under that roof and suffering the abuse then it is the memory that is constantly reminding you that you weren't loved or wanted or was worth anything or had any hope of becoming a successful adult...yeah....that's what playing that replay does....brings back all those feelings of rejection and pain..........so I pray that first and foremost understand that God doesn't "allow" sin to happen in us or to us...it is our free will to choose to sin.....and He can't go against it....
But there were family members who should have reported the abuse and removed you...however, they didn't and you suffered. So now what....what to do? Make a decision in your heart that you will not let your future be bound by the pain of the past...forgive all those who hurt you...it may be hard and you may need to ask God to help you get to that point....but as soon as you do you will start healing....and God will be your ABBA, Father!
ABBA....is kind of like saying Daddy God

Southernscotty · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
Yes I've forgiven him. I called him on the phone when I first moved out of my parents house. And told him that I had a lot of anger inside about him hitting my mom but I forgive him. I just don't understand why God allowed that to happen. As far as I know he isn't still abusing my mom. It was only the one time but he abused me for years.

I am sorry for that. As stated, I do not know why these things happen but since the fall in the garden, They have been happening. I am praying that your dad will see the light that you are producing as a witness for Christ and it will draw him in. He sounds like he is terribly lost and that he probably don't even realize what he is doing? Just my opinion, But I would definitely tell him and everyone else about the website and perhaps he will respond in a positive way. My opinion though and Either way we are here for ya Bro.

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

Heart2Soul said:
I know how much you are hurting...I went through much of what you have shared....the thing about the sin in mankind is that God cannot interfere with free will....your father had the free will to be abusive and needs to repent and find Jesus....What you are suffering from the most is the need to be loved AND understood....you have some baggage that you are carrying from your past...it will keep getting heavier and heavier until you can no longer bear it and you fall to the weight of it. This baggage is known as anger, resentment, bitterness and unforgiveness.....so what your father did was wrong, HORRIBLY wrong and it can and will destroy you if you don't let it go and give it to God.....He will heal all your pain, your suffering, your struggles to make sense of everything in your life.....and when you forgive then that baggage falls off and the heavy weight on your heart is lifted....don't let the past determine or define who you are.....call upon God for He was there when you were suffering the abuse and He hurt...BUT He gave YOU an extra dose of strength to be able to carry on...and rise above.
If you are no longer living under that roof and suffering the abuse then it is the memory that is constantly reminding you that you weren't loved or wanted or was worth anything or had any hope of becoming a successful adult...yeah....that's what playing that replay does....brings back all those feelings of rejection and pain..........so I pray that first and foremost understand that God doesn't "allow" sin to happen in us or to us...it is our free will to choose to sin.....and He can't go against it....
But there were family members who should have reported the abuse and removed you...however, they didn't and you suffered. So now what....what to do? Make a decision in your heart that you will not let your future be bound by the pain of the past...forgive all those who hurt you...it may be hard and you may need to ask God to help you get to that point....but as soon as you do you will start healing....and God will be your ABBA, Father!

So you're saying that God watches over believers? We are special to him so he watches over us from the moment we are born? Ive learned to forgive but I've never learned to forget.

Southernscotty · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
So you're saying that God watches over believers? We are special to him so he watches over us from the moment we are born? Ive learned to forgive but I've never learned to forget.

Oh I do believe that yes. I believe things happen for a reason. {my opinion} I believe that for every bad thing that happens to us, That it is used somehow to help or encourage someone later on. I know that might sound crazy but after what you went through, You can help and have compassion on others who are facing or will face the same thing. Make sense ?

Noxot · Apr 6, 2018

probably most of your messedupness comes because you were abused so it is natural that you would have some of the perceptions that you have. God hates sin so much because of what it does and how it can spread.

it seems that one of the rules of this world is that we are vulnerable beings. vulnerability and love seem to have a connection. our weakness allows for freedom from God. freedom from God gives our being certain qualities that might not otherwise have existed in ourselves.

Apologetic_Warrior · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
If I am special to God why was I abused by my Dad? When I finally come out with it, nobody really believed me and my Dad just hit me harder. True, he was/is an alcoholic in desperate need of Christ but... why didn't God do something to prevent my Dad from thinking of me as a pathetic piece of cow [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? Never once did my Dad ever say that he was proud of me, never once did I have a supportive dad who supported anything I ever wanted to do. Even when I wanted to become a minister he didn't support me. I'm not even going to tell him that I'm making a website to lead people like me to Christ because, he wouldn't care. No, I've only had one Father my entire life and that was God but if God really loves me why didn't he give me a Father that cares? And God the Father doesn't count. I don't want God the Father I want a biological dad!

If I am special to God why did God allow my Dad to try to smother me to death with a pillow when he got angry? The worst part is? My dad remembers it and he's proud of it! It was so scary! Why did God allow me to suffer like that?

If I am special to God why did I have to witness my Dad beat my mom right in front of me because she was defending me? If I am special to God why didn't he give me the strength to defend her and fight back? Why was I always so scared of my Dad growing up? Never once did I ever fight back whether I was a eight year old child or when I was a pathetic little 25 year old man who still lived with his parents? I've forgiven my Dad but, come on! Why? Why did I have to suffer for almost 26 years before I finally got the hell out of my parents house? Why?

If I am special to God why was I born with this curse of a mental illness? Why won't he cure me? Why the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] does he allow me to call him Satan almost every single day? That bothers me SO much! Why does he allow demons to torment me every single day? I know that he knows that It's not really me saying these things but, come on! A loving God who thinks a person is special would not want someone that he loved to suffer like this!

If I am special to God why did he create me with all these problems that I have that cause the whole world to hate me. Why am I so alone? I want to talk about these problems but if I did, I'd only be judged or worse, murdered. Because, I have done some truly horrible things. If God loves me why did he allow me before I came to Christ to do those horrible things? Why does he allow me to sin against him every single day as if he doesn't even care that I am such a wretched and vile sinner? I am a sinner in desperate need of God's mercy and I have obtained it but why? If God loves me why? Why doesn't he just give me the punishment that I deserve instead of an eternity in heaven with him which, quite frankly I don't deserve! Because I am a worse sinner than anyone else here! Why am I forgiven? It infuriates me!

I want to believe that I am special. That I am chosen because scripture says so. I want to believe that God is proud of me and the things that I am doing for him But I cannot bring myself to believe that. I only believe that some of the time. But, most of the time I feel unloved, forsaken, and miserable. Why? That's what I want to know and hopefully someone here can answer because I don't want to wait until I die to ask God myself. Why?

Just remember you're not alone, not that experiences are identical, but that the people of God everywhere suffer in various ways and at times feel unloved, forsaken, and miserable. Other Christians tend to think that Calvinists think they are special because of our interpretations on the doctrines like predestination, election, regeneration and so on, but personally I have never felt all that "special", and I tend to loose sight of what all it means and entails to be a child of the Living God. I loose sight of the adoption we have in Christ, and the lengths God Himself went through to prove His everlasting love for His own. Part of the reason for this I think, is because of the tendency to look at myself and understand the depths of how messed up I really am. Having to wake up and look in the mirror every day, knowing what a miserable excuse for a man that I am. Thankfully when God looks upon His children, He sees the righteousness of Christ and because of Christ, and only because of Christ, is anyone special in the sight of God. The question to which I do not have a good or satisfactory answer is; "why me?", knowing how undeserving I am, knowing how often and how many times and ways I fail, having an understanding from the Spirit, of the depths of the problem of sin common to all of mankind. Christ is special, His is the special one, and He makes non-special people special purely out of mercy and grace, so there is no room for boasting only in Christ.

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

Southernscotty said:
I am sorry for that. As stated, I do not know why these things happen but since the fall in the garden, They have been happening. I am praying that your dad will see the light that you are producing as a witness for Christ and it will draw him in. He sounds like he is terribly lost and that he probably don't even realize what he is doing? Just my opinion, But I would definitely tell him and everyone else about the website and perhaps he will respond in a positive way. My opinion though and Either way we are here for ya Bro.

Yeah he gets so drunk sometimes that he doesn't even remember what's going on. When he hit my mom he was instantly filled with regret and he doesn't remember doing it at all. He just believes us because we told him. And my mom said that if he hit her again she would leave him for a while. So I'm guessing he never did it again.

friend of · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
Yes I've forgiven him. I called him on the phone when I first moved out of my parents house. And told him that I had a lot of anger inside about him hitting my mom but I forgive him. I just don't understand why God allowed that to happen. As far as I know he isn't still abusing my mom. It was only the one time but he abused me for years. I learned to forgive him over the years as I moved out of his house.

That's a powerful display of forgiveness. Don't diminish it. Many people would have a hard time forgiving their dad if he did all those things.

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

Apologetic_Warrior said:
Just remember you're not alone, not that experiences are identical, but that the people of God everywhere suffer in various ways and at times feel unloved, forsaken, and miserable. Other Christians tend to think that Calvinists think they are special because of our interpretations on the doctrines like predestination, election, regeneration and so on, but personally I have never felt all that "special", and I tend to loose sight of what all it means and entails to be a child of the Living God. I loose sight of the adoption we have in Christ, and the lengths God Himself went through to prove His everlasting love for His own. Part of the reason for this I think, is because of the tendency to look at myself and understand the depths of how messed up I really am. Having to wake up and look in the mirror every day, knowing what a miserable excuse for a man that I am. Thankfully when God looks upon His children, He sees the righteousness of Christ and because of Christ, and only because of Christ, is anyone special in the sight of God. The question to which I do not have a good or satisfactory answer is; "why me?", knowing how undeserving I am, knowing how often and how many times and ways I fail, having an understanding from the Spirit, of the depths of the problem of sin common to all of mankind. Christ is special, His is the special one, and He makes non-special people special purely out of mercy and grace, so there is no room for boasting only in Christ.

Oh I believe in predestination. I believe that God chose everyone that would ever come to him in faith. While its true that God loves all of mankind he loves the elect more. After all it was the elect that he died for.

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

friend of said:
That's a powerful display of forgiveness. Don't diminish it. Many people would have a hard time forgiving their dad if he did all those things.

I believe it was the power of Christ that allowed me to forgive him. When I called him I only forgave him for hitting mom. Technically he doesn't know that I've forgiven him for hitting me. But telling him won't make him care. He loves me? But, only to a point. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. To him its just parenting. After all his dad hit him worse.

Heart2Soul · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
So you're saying that God watches over believers? We are special to him so he watches over us from the moment we are born? Ive learned to forgive but I've never learned to forget.

God not only watches over you but He is yearning for you to cast all your hurt and pain on Him and let Him heal you....His unconditional love he will not withhold from you....He knew you before you were even conceived....all the pain you suffered grieved Him beyond words and He put His arms of love and protection around you and gave you Guardian Angels to protect you and He has promised in His Word that He will give you a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.....His Word is the Living Word and the more you study it the more you learn about how much you mean to Him....He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you....even if you turn to the world and live according to the sins of the flesh.....He will keep drawing you back to Him...He is a jealous Father and when you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior that sealed you to Him....so as a "LOVING" father here on earth will discipline his child and teach him right from wrong he will never stop loving him....so it is with your Heavenly Father....no matter how many times you mess up He will NEVER STOP loving you.....Your trials and tribulations you suffered as a child growing up can become a powerful testimony of how He transformed you into a New Creation...a Child of the Living God...joint Heir to the Throne of God...are you special...you better believe you are....so much so that He sent Jesus to die for you. That is special!

Apologetic_Warrior · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
I believe it was the power of Christ that allowed me to forgive him. When I called him I only forgave him for hitting mom. Technically he doesn't know that I've forgiven him for hitting me. But telling him won't make him care. He loves me? But, only to a point. He doesn't think he did anything wrong. To him its just parenting. After all his dad hit him worse.

As sinners we all have our weaknesses, and it sounds like your dad had great weakness in the areas of patience, understanding, and self-control. I do not know him, but he might have unspoken regret when he thinks about it, and telling him you forgive him, could be a great way to be an example of the forgiveness God has demonstrated in Christ for us. This is the kind of love that brings repentance, it is not an easy road though, not in the least. As a married person yourself, it shouldn't be too difficult to realize the difficulties of marriage, especially when children are involved. In general, people are just flat out disappointing, and I am one of them.

Neostarwcc · Apr 6, 2018

Heart2Soul said:
God not only watches over you but He is yearning for you to cast all your hurt and pain on Him and let Him heal you....His unconditional love he will not withhold from you....He knew you before you were even conceived....all the pain you suffered grieved Him beyond words and He put His arms of love and protection around you and gave you Guardian Angels to protect you and He has promised in His Word that He will give you a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.....His Word is the Living Word and the more you study it the more you learn about how much you mean to Him....He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you....even if you turn to the world and live according to the sins of the flesh.....He will keep drawing you back to Him...He is a jealous Father and when you accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior that sealed you to Him....so as a "LOVING" father here on earth will discipline his child and teach him right from wrong he will never stop loving him....so it is with your Heavenly Father....no matter how many times you mess up He will NEVER STOP loving you.....Your trials and tribulations you suffered as a child growing up can become a powerful testimony of how He transformed you into a New Creation...a Child of the Living God...joint Heir to the Throne of God...are you special...you better believe you are....so much so that He sent Jesus to die for you. That is special!

Thanks. That made me feel better. We are given guardian angels? I heard my mother say that to me as a child but I never really believed it. Yes, I am special to God. God the Father must love me a lot to send his son to die for me. And send his son to me. I guess I'll never quite understand just how special I am to God.

Jonathan Leo · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
If I am special to God why was I abused by my Dad? When I finally come out with it, nobody really believed me and my Dad just hit me harder. True, he was/is an alcoholic in desperate need of Christ but... why didn't God do something to prevent my Dad from thinking of me as a pathetic piece of cow [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]? Never once did my Dad ever say that he was proud of me, never once did I have a supportive dad who supported anything I ever wanted to do. Even when I wanted to become a minister he didn't support me. I'm not even going to tell him that I'm making a website to lead people like me to Christ because, he wouldn't care. No, I've only had one Father my entire life and that was God but if God really loves me why didn't he give me a Father that cares? And God the Father doesn't count. I don't want God the Father I want a biological dad!

If I am special to God why did God allow my Dad to try to smother me to death with a pillow when he got angry? The worst part is? My dad remembers it and he's proud of it! It was so scary! Why did God allow me to suffer like that?

If I am special to God why did I have to witness my Dad beat my mom right in front of me because she was defending me? If I am special to God why didn't he give me the strength to defend her and fight back? Why was I always so scared of my Dad growing up? Never once did I ever fight back whether I was a eight year old child or when I was a pathetic little 25 year old man who still lived with his parents? I've forgiven my Dad but, come on! Why? Why did I have to suffer for almost 26 years before I finally got the hell out of my parents house? Why?

If I am special to God why was I born with this curse of a mental illness? Why won't he cure me? Why the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] does he allow me to call him Satan almost every single day? That bothers me SO much! Why does he allow demons to torment me every single day? I know that he knows that It's not really me saying these things but, come on! A loving God who thinks a person is special would not want someone that he loved to suffer like this!

If I am special to God why did he create me with all these problems that I have that cause the whole world to hate me. Why am I so alone? I want to talk about these problems but if I did, I'd only be judged or worse, murdered. Because, I have done some truly horrible things. If God loves me why did he allow me before I came to Christ to do those horrible things? Why does he allow me to sin against him every single day as if he doesn't even care that I am such a wretched and vile sinner? I am a sinner in desperate need of God's mercy and I have obtained it but why? If God loves me why? Why doesn't he just give me the punishment that I deserve instead of an eternity in heaven with him which, quite frankly I don't deserve! Because I am a worse sinner than anyone else here! Why am I forgiven? It infuriates me!

I want to believe that I am special. That I am chosen because scripture says so. I want to believe that God is proud of me and the things that I am doing for him But I cannot bring myself to believe that. I only believe that some of the time. But, most of the time I feel unloved, forsaken, and miserable. Why? That's what I want to know and hopefully someone here can answer because I don't want to wait until I die to ask God myself. Why?

Your Dad has free will given by God even if that means he beats you because of God.
Sorry to hear about your abuse, hag in there with it for it’s testing your faith in Jesus. It will say a lot about you and nothing about your dad
God bless bro

joshua 1 9 · Apr 6, 2018

mmbattlestar said:
Why does he allow demons to torment me every single day?

YOU allow them to torment you. The ONLY power / authority they have is what YOU give them. We need to use the Blood of Jesus. God rock solid promise to us is that in "all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

God will ONLY allow what He plans and intends to use for His Honor and Glory. Where sin abounds - Grace abound all the more. We overcome evil with good.

If I am special to God why was I born with this curse of a mental illness?

When we are born again we take on the Mind of Christ and we have the Divinity of God to think the Divine thoughts of God. There are many different scriptures that talk about having the Mind of Christ. AT least 365 of them so you could preach a different sermon every day of the year on the Love of God and what it means to have the Mind of Christ and how we become a new creation in Christ.

Look at the Fruit of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness & Self Control. We are to produce this fruit as a tree produces it's fruit in due season. This is what it means to be whole & mature and perfected in Christ. God well continue to do work in us to prepare us for Heaven. The Power of God will transform us into the people He wants and intends for us to be

We need to allow God to do His work in our life. He has all the answers and HE has all the solution and in due time and in due season we will understand all of this. We are to: "5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3

If I am special to God. Why?

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

Well-Known Member

Heimat

A private in Gods army

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

Well-Known Member

anarchist personalist

Pilgrim

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

A private in Gods army

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

Well-Known Member

Pilgrim

We are saved purely by the work and grace of God.

Well-Known Member

Well-Known Member

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