Need help

Subaru17 · Mar 13, 2018

Hi,

When I was 15, I had bad OCD, intrusive thoughts, fear of being the antichrist etc.

Things got really bad and I was pretty convinced I was the anti-Christ at one point being so tired/(prescription drugged out) that I saw my face change in the mirror.

So I asked God to forgive me for blasphemy and being the anti-Christ and said if he did and got me through the disease I would be an itinerant preacher for the sect I grew up in.

So still struggle with OCD, I’m still alive, but I feel bound by what I said I would do.

Trouble is, I don’t believe into that church anymore, they believe they are the only church going to heaven, or at the least “ the rightest way”

I don’t know what to do.

Please help

Also, still having intrusive blasphemous thoughts etc.

Also also, have had compulsive asking for signs from God, for confirmation.
I.e.

“If I get a text right now, I have to be a preacher for that sect and they are the right way”

Have done stuff like this sometimes 20x a day. A few times 2/3 it happened
Don’t know if that was real or just coincidence.

Seems a little vain to think God will just do signs as asked, also why answer 2-3 and ignore 2-300

Confused

I’m sorry

God is good · Mar 13, 2018

Subaru17 said:
Hi,

When I was 15, I had bad OCD, intrusive thoughts, fear of being the antichrist etc.

Things got really bad and I was pretty convinced I was the anti-Christ at one point being so tired/(prescription drugged out) that I saw my face change in the mirror.

So I asked God to forgive me for blasphemy and being the anti-Christ and said if he did and got me through the disease I would be an itinerant day preacher for the sect I grew up in.

So still struggle with OCD, I’m still alive, but I feel bound by what I said I would do.

Trouble is, I don’t believe into that church anymore, they believe they are the only church going to heaven, or at the least “ the rightest way”

I don’t know what to do.

Please help

Also, still having intrusive blasphemous thoughts etc.

Also also, have had compulsive asking for signs from God, for confirmation.
I.e.

“If I get a text right now, I have to be a preacher for that sect and they are the right way”

Have done stuff like this sometimes 20x a day. A few times 2/3 it happened
Don’t know if that was real or just coincidence.

Seems a little vain to think God will just do signs as asked, also why answer 2-3 and ignore 2-300

Confused

I’m sorry

You are not alone, I have bad ocd intrusive thoughts and while I haven't really made vows with the ocd, I can see how hard it could be. Know that you can pm me whenever and we can talk about our struggles. God bless you and Jesus is our Lord and savior.

Subaru17 · Mar 14, 2018

Thank you for the kind words, it is a tough thing to deal with, and ofcourse just when it seems to get better it gets worse!

Mari17 · Mar 14, 2018

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time! Seems like you asked this on a different thread before...what was the response then? Was it helpful?

Subaru17 · Mar 17, 2018

Yeah I had posted a very similar thread before and was doing pretty good, however every once in a while I come across some scripture that brings up some of my anxieties.

And for some reason they seem to carry more weight than before, I can’t tell if it’s honest conviction, God’s message or just my mind.

Thank you for the response

Mari17 · Mar 17, 2018

Subaru17 said:
Yeah I had posted a very similar thread before and was doing pretty good, however every once in a while I come across some scripture that brings up some of my anxieties.

And for some reason they seem to carry more weight than before, I can’t tell if it’s honest conviction, God’s message or just my mind.

Thank you for the response

It is hard to tell, but usually OCD has that specific "feel" to it - of fear, doubt, confusion, oppression, etc. If it feels like that, it's probably OCD and needs to be treated as such! If you don't know how to do that or need some reminders, feel free to ask!

Subaru17 · Mar 17, 2018

But how to know for sure? That’s always the question. And ofcourse the fact that I don’t believe in the group I grew up in makes it harder too.

I do definitely have OCD because I have intrusive thoughts, checking, compulsive phrases and make deals etc.

It’s hard to just write it off though as OCD, and ofcourse I feel like if I don’t go through with it I will go to hell

Mari17 · Mar 19, 2018

Subaru17 said:
But how to know for sure? That’s always the question. And ofcourse the fact that I don’t believe in the group I grew up in makes it harder too.

I do definitely have OCD because I have intrusive thoughts, checking, compulsive phrases and make deals etc.

It’s hard to just write it off though as OCD, and ofcourse I feel like if I don’t go through with it I will go to hell

I understand how you feel. And it is hard, at least when we're being obsessive, to tell what is OCD and what isn't. But when we know we already have OCD, the chances of something being obsessive are a lot higher, right?

Anyway, let's think of this in practical terms and say that you decide that you do need to follow through on this "vow." Do you think that becoming a preacher for something you don't agree with is the right thing to do?

One of my suggestions for dealing with this is to bring your questions before God and ask Him to lead you and show you what to do. Our tendency, when we have OCD, is to try to hammer it all out ourselves, usually with unproductive ruminating. You can worry all you want, but if it doesn't bring you to a decision then it's not doing any good. If there's something you don't know what to do about, take it to God, and try to resist ruminating about it, which when you have OCD only makes it worse because you start over-analyzing.

I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I don't have all the answers, but these are just some of my thoughts...

Amy Cortright · Apr 4, 2018

Subaru17 said:
Hi,

When I was 15, I had bad OCD, intrusive thoughts, fear of being the antichrist etc.

Things got really bad and I was pretty convinced I was the anti-Christ at one point being so tired/(prescription drugged out) that I saw my face change in the mirror.

So I asked God to forgive me for blasphemy and being the anti-Christ and said if he did and got me through the disease I would be an itinerant preacher for the sect I grew up in.

So still struggle with OCD, I’m still alive, but I feel bound by what I said I would do.

Trouble is, I don’t believe into that church anymore, they believe they are the only church going to heaven, or at the least “ the rightest way”

I don’t know what to do.

Please help

Also, still having intrusive blasphemous thoughts etc.

Also also, have had compulsive asking for signs from God, for confirmation.
I.e.

“If I get a text right now, I have to be a preacher for that sect and they are the right way”

Have done stuff like this sometimes 20x a day. A few times 2/3 it happened
Don’t know if that was real or just coincidence.

Seems a little vain to think God will just do signs as asked, also why answer 2-3 and ignore 2-300

Confused

I’m sorry

I am sorry your struggle know that I feel what originally started for me as OCD turned into Schizophrenia later on today i hear voices not to worry you. I am on medication however and doing well on medication. My first symptoms where those of OCD than later on I started hearing voices do to OCD getting the best of my and I feel altering my brain chemicals. Medication is highly effective for me however, and I have a bachelors in psychology and I use to work in a group home, and I am currently looking for work, today i am able to hold a job but struggling to find employment. I was able to finish up my bachelors degree after the unset.

Amy

Amy Cortright · Apr 4, 2018

Amy Cortright said:
I am sorry your struggle know that I feel what originally started for me as OCD turned into Schizophrenia later on today i hear voices not to worry you. I am on medication however and doing well on medication. My first symptoms where those of OCD than later on I started hearing voices do to OCD getting the best of my and I feel altering my brain chemicals. Medication is highly effective for me however, and I have a bachelors in psychology and I use to work in a group home, and I am currently looking for work, today i am able to hold a job but struggling to find employment. I was able to finish up my bachelors degree after the unset.

Amy

Intrusive thoughts I feel may not exactly be OCD in way, yet i am not sure in theory they list them as OCD. Some say that a schizophrenic that realizes they are delusional really has OCD, and someone with OCD who does not realize they are delusional really has schizophrenia. Intrusive thoughts are not obsessions and compulsions they nearly mimic voices and potentially could turn into them later on. I don't want to concern you, but it may pay to consider talking to a doctor more about it and looking into things more.

Amy Cortright · Apr 4, 2018

Amy Cortright said:
Intrusive thoughts I feel may not exactly be OCD in way, yet i am not sure in theory they list them as OCD. Some say that a schizophrenic that realizes they are delusional really has OCD, and someone with OCD who does not realize they are delusional really has schizophrenia. Intrusive thoughts are not obsessions and compulsions they nearly mimic voices and potentially could turn into them later on. I don't want to concern you, but it may pay to consider talking to a doctor more about it and looking into things more.

What you have may technically be OCD yet at the same time it may not be OCD, but it is diagnosably a case of OCD not Schizophrenia so that is what matters or may matter to you.

gloriousday2006 · Apr 26, 2018

Subaru17 said:
Hi,

When I was 15, I had bad OCD, intrusive thoughts, fear of being the antichrist etc.

Things got really bad and I was pretty convinced I was the anti-Christ at one point being so tired/(prescription drugged out) that I saw my face change in the mirror.

So I asked God to forgive me for blasphemy and being the anti-Christ and said if he did and got me through the disease I would be an itinerant preacher for the sect I grew up in.

So still struggle with OCD, I’m still alive, but I feel bound by what I said I would do.

Trouble is, I don’t believe into that church anymore, they believe they are the only church going to heaven, or at the least “ the rightest way”

I don’t know what to do.

Please help

Also, still having intrusive blasphemous thoughts etc.

Also also, have had compulsive asking for signs from God, for confirmation.
I.e.

“If I get a text right now, I have to be a preacher for that sect and they are the right way”

Have done stuff like this sometimes 20x a day. A few times 2/3 it happened
Don’t know if that was real or just coincidence.

Seems a little vain to think God will just do signs as asked, also why answer 2-3 and ignore 2-300

Confused

I’m sorry

I am praying for you dear heart! I understand the troubles you are going through. I too have struggled in this way. I have dealt with the intrusive thoughts. I understand how traumatic those can be. I am so thankful to come to the realization that my salvation is not based on me, but based on my savior Jesus Christ. Jesus took the full payment for my sin, my failures, my weaknesses, and I can rest in the fact that He has overcome. When I start to look at myself, that is when I struggle. If I look at all of my imperfections, my OCD mind which often attacks the thing I love the most, I struggle. I chose to look at the greatness of my savior. My job is to trust in, rely on, and follow the Lord. God knows my weakness, and He has overcome. You can overcome through Jesus. Focus on Him and not on your struggle. Keep your eyes on the Lord. We are riddled with imperfections, but we have an AMAZING God.

I am praying for you! You can get through this with Christ. If you ever need to talk, please feel free to message me! I have been where you are in many regards. Our God is greater!

Blessed Honey · Nov 10, 2018

Hey hun please send me a message concern ur issues . Glorious 2006

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