How can I salvage this friendship?

Buy her a bouquet of yellow 'friendship' roses and maybe apologize for your part in giving her the wrong impression and tell her how much you value the friendship. That's all you can really do but it will help her heal.

Chris V++ said:

Buy her a bouquet of yellow 'friendship' roses and maybe apologize for your part in giving her the wrong impression and tell her how much you value the friendship. That's all you can really do but it will help her heal.

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I really like that idea.
M-Bob

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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I think that what you wrote is beautiful, that she means the world to you and you don't want to loose her. I feel if you tell her that you fear that what happened between you two has caused distance between you both and that you want to try and heal it, that she will understand. I feel that you can tell her that she means the world to you and you don't want to lose her.

Bluerose31 said:

I think that what you wrote is beautiful, that she means the world to you and you don't want to loose her. I feel if you tell her that you fear that what happened between you two has caused distance between you both and that you want to try and heal it, that she will understand. I feel that you can tell her that she means the world to you and you don't want to lose her.

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I agree. She just needs to feel where your genuineness is within the relationship. Bluerose said it well.

If you would have had sex with her things might be a whole lot worse. Be grateful that you did not.
M-Bob

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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She got her feelings hurt because she has "feelings" for you and thought you had feelings for her. Likely it was the result of you spending the night with her (even though there was no sex). I would suggest you apologize, if you haven't already.

You might even show her your post here on a Christian forum, It shows that you appreciate her so much that you are very concerned about your friendship. Plus we might get a new friend here as well :]

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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See post #7.

(This seems like a familiar pattern with you. I've read your previous posts here in this advice forum.)

Chris V++ said:

Buy her a bouquet of yellow 'friendship' roses and maybe apologize for your part in giving her the wrong impression and tell her how much you value the friendship. That's all you can really do but it will help her heal.

Click to expand...

This is a beautiful recommendation. I love it. Especially the bouquet of yellow friendship roses.

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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You stepped off holy ground with your relationship. The only thing you can do is step back onto holy ground. If she’s not willing, not sure it can be saved?

in Christ, Not me

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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So, the blunt answer is, you can't.

Once you do something like that, sleep in the same bed, and cuddle, you have broken the wall of friendship, and now you are in the wrong field.

It is almost impossible to put that wall of clean safe friendship back up.

I think I only know of maybe 2 or 3 times in the last 30 years, where I knew people who were able to do it. Most of the time, once that wall is breached, you can't make it go back to normal.

I would advise that you never again drink alcohol with a member of the opposite sex, until you are married to them.

I would advice that you never cuddle, or get into the same bed with the member of the opposite sex, until you are married to them.

Keep your friendships, as friendships. Protect them.

Get married, find a wife, and then do all those fun things with that girl for you. Until then, honestly, don't do that. That is a bad plan. It will lead you to where you don't want to go.

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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If you want only friendship and nothing further while the girl wants a romantic relationship, it would be better to let her go for her sake so she can heal and move on. Keeping her around as friend is only beneficial to you, not to her, since that is what you want but not what she wants.

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

Click to expand...

Putting that genie back in the bottle will be all but impossible.

You say she is (or was) your best friend. Apparently you guys are fairly compatible, so maybe you should consider exploring a romantic relationship.

Do you have a good reason NOT to do so?

Ben Collyer said:

Hi all, last saturday I visited my best friends house (female) and we drank a bottle of wine and got drunk and then we slept in the same bed and cuddled (nothing sexual happened) and 2 days later she confessed that she has feelings for me. I essentially told her that im not interested and now things seem very weird between us...its as if the confession of romantic feelings has sunk our friendship and I don't know how to make things go back to normal.

Yes I have already confessed the foolishness that was getting drunk and sleeping in a womans bed, so any chastising replys i will simply ignore, but if anyone has wisdom on how to proceed from here and save the friendship thats amazing, she means the world to me and I dont want to lose her

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Does she read God's Word regularly and pray?

Ben Collyer said:

yes, I have no spark for her

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Sparks can be over rated. They feel good but do not last. What you want is a fire to be kindled.

Do you know what your love language is?

If I were a betting man, i would place my money on "touch" being her language but not yours. Spending a night cuddled together kindled romantic feelings in her but not you. If you can see you two as compatible beyond just "sparks," I would suggest finding what your love language is and having her give you that and see what happens.