I'm now 33, female, and recently got my heart broken all over again, after what started off as one of the most amazing weeks of my life earlier this month.
My landlady has three children; I only knew of the two, and the third is not at home much due to job obligations. He recently came to visit his mother for a week, and I was instantly smitten by this charming, handsome, and polite man, not much older than myself, and quite single according to his unadorned left wedding ring and family of mine who knows him.
He was extremely helpful and nice, fixing things about my apartment that were broken, going out of his way to not inconvenience me as the family did their things around the house. It wasn't even three days into the acquaintanceship that one morning he awkwardly approached me and blurted out how thankful he is for my living here on the premises; his dad passed away two years ago and his mother's mainly been living by herself, with angst-inducing tenant after tenant in the apartment. I may have my issues, but at least I keep to myself, I lock up properly, and I disturb nobody; and that is what he was so thankful for, saying that now his mother doesn't feel as lonely as she used to and can sleep better at night with a reliable person right next door.
I took his number from his mother for when she was not home that week and urgently needed me to relay a message to him. I was sure I could sense a mutual attraction and as I said, he was nothing but charming, considerate, and thankful.
Then he left about two weeks ago and we didn't get the chance for a formal/proper goodbye as I was asleep and he had to leave town very early to avoid heavy traffic. He sent me a text a day or so later again thanking me for being good to his mother and stating that he'll see me in two months. (E.g, May - that's when his next break from work, in a different locale, is.)
He texted a couple times more to ask how things are, and for a few days we texted back and forth mainly about my pets (a cat and a rabbit, which he finds incredibly amusing). And when I had a minor crisis about the apartment, he promised to send his brother, who is a local, to help out as soon as possible, and the matter was cleared up that same afternoon.
And then... *poof* He went silent and seems to have undergone a personality change. I texted him a simple "Hey, just wondering how things are?" after a week of no talking, and his only reply was, "Good, thank you", and since then he's been MIA.
I don't get it. I can recall every word of every text I sent; I said absolutely nothing offensive, and I can't imagine his mother would have complained to him about me in any way (she and I are on good terms and I've not been in trouble once since I've been living here since last December), nor that he would've heard anything off-putting about me. He barely knows me, my past, who my friends are, what I'm up to on a daily basis, etc.
It's really, really hurtful. The person I met and knew for a week and the person he has suddenly changed into = two TOTALLY different personas.
I'm not going to risk compromising my living arrangements by asking him via text if anything's wrong; it's only words on a cellphone screen that could be misinterpreted and possibly lead to a fight, and I'm already hypersensitive enough without having to face a stinging rejection or, worse, even more silence.
My only conclusions can be this: He doesn't want to be ruled by his emotions while he's unable to be here physically, so maybe he'll open up again in May, but in the meantime it's breaking my heart to be ignored and brushed off like I did something awful. Secondly, he actually does have someone in his life already and feels too awkward to tell me outright, "Hey, thanks for everything, but I'm dating someone, so maybe this isn't appropriate". Still, he should have the courage to put me in the clear, right?
Third, maybe I've encountered yet another two-faced jerk, apologies for my language. But yet another guy who's too chicken to act on his feelings or to at least be honest about his lack thereof.
I didn't see this sort of behaviour coming and I'm so hurt that I often cry about it and I wish I'd never met him to begin with. If it was at all within my means - financially, practically, etc - I'd leave this apartment and all these people behind, find a place with the same rent and benefits, and move on. But I'm stuck while waiting for some inheritance money to come loose and a job (been applying all over the place, but nothing.)
I don't know how to deal with this, quite frankly. I do pray, of course, and I shall attend Church tomorrow and listen quietly for answers; but I don't know where in Scripture I can find comfort for this particular situation. Where I was nice and kind and friendly and suddenly the other person is, inexplicably, being a monster.
I already deal with depression and anxiety, unmedicated most of the time due to financial reasons; when this guy came around and seemed so stereotypically "the one", my whole psyche lifted and I felt comforted (I lost both my parents last year and I have no close relatives other than my adoptive sister who's not an empathetic person but will always help out practically). Now I'm back in that dark place that's a struggle to get out of. I have nobody to talk to and SO much sadness and anger to deal with.
Any advice... any prayer... any insight... please.
My landlady has three children; I only knew of the two, and the third is not at home much due to job obligations. He recently came to visit his mother for a week, and I was instantly smitten by this charming, handsome, and polite man, not much older than myself, and quite single according to his unadorned left wedding ring and family of mine who knows him.
He was extremely helpful and nice, fixing things about my apartment that were broken, going out of his way to not inconvenience me as the family did their things around the house. It wasn't even three days into the acquaintanceship that one morning he awkwardly approached me and blurted out how thankful he is for my living here on the premises; his dad passed away two years ago and his mother's mainly been living by herself, with angst-inducing tenant after tenant in the apartment. I may have my issues, but at least I keep to myself, I lock up properly, and I disturb nobody; and that is what he was so thankful for, saying that now his mother doesn't feel as lonely as she used to and can sleep better at night with a reliable person right next door.
I took his number from his mother for when she was not home that week and urgently needed me to relay a message to him. I was sure I could sense a mutual attraction and as I said, he was nothing but charming, considerate, and thankful.
Then he left about two weeks ago and we didn't get the chance for a formal/proper goodbye as I was asleep and he had to leave town very early to avoid heavy traffic. He sent me a text a day or so later again thanking me for being good to his mother and stating that he'll see me in two months. (E.g, May - that's when his next break from work, in a different locale, is.)
He texted a couple times more to ask how things are, and for a few days we texted back and forth mainly about my pets (a cat and a rabbit, which he finds incredibly amusing). And when I had a minor crisis about the apartment, he promised to send his brother, who is a local, to help out as soon as possible, and the matter was cleared up that same afternoon.
And then... *poof* He went silent and seems to have undergone a personality change. I texted him a simple "Hey, just wondering how things are?" after a week of no talking, and his only reply was, "Good, thank you", and since then he's been MIA.
I don't get it. I can recall every word of every text I sent; I said absolutely nothing offensive, and I can't imagine his mother would have complained to him about me in any way (she and I are on good terms and I've not been in trouble once since I've been living here since last December), nor that he would've heard anything off-putting about me. He barely knows me, my past, who my friends are, what I'm up to on a daily basis, etc.
It's really, really hurtful. The person I met and knew for a week and the person he has suddenly changed into = two TOTALLY different personas.
I'm not going to risk compromising my living arrangements by asking him via text if anything's wrong; it's only words on a cellphone screen that could be misinterpreted and possibly lead to a fight, and I'm already hypersensitive enough without having to face a stinging rejection or, worse, even more silence.
My only conclusions can be this: He doesn't want to be ruled by his emotions while he's unable to be here physically, so maybe he'll open up again in May, but in the meantime it's breaking my heart to be ignored and brushed off like I did something awful. Secondly, he actually does have someone in his life already and feels too awkward to tell me outright, "Hey, thanks for everything, but I'm dating someone, so maybe this isn't appropriate". Still, he should have the courage to put me in the clear, right?
Third, maybe I've encountered yet another two-faced jerk, apologies for my language. But yet another guy who's too chicken to act on his feelings or to at least be honest about his lack thereof.
I didn't see this sort of behaviour coming and I'm so hurt that I often cry about it and I wish I'd never met him to begin with. If it was at all within my means - financially, practically, etc - I'd leave this apartment and all these people behind, find a place with the same rent and benefits, and move on. But I'm stuck while waiting for some inheritance money to come loose and a job (been applying all over the place, but nothing.)
I don't know how to deal with this, quite frankly. I do pray, of course, and I shall attend Church tomorrow and listen quietly for answers; but I don't know where in Scripture I can find comfort for this particular situation. Where I was nice and kind and friendly and suddenly the other person is, inexplicably, being a monster.
I already deal with depression and anxiety, unmedicated most of the time due to financial reasons; when this guy came around and seemed so stereotypically "the one", my whole psyche lifted and I felt comforted (I lost both my parents last year and I have no close relatives other than my adoptive sister who's not an empathetic person but will always help out practically). Now I'm back in that dark place that's a struggle to get out of. I have nobody to talk to and SO much sadness and anger to deal with.
Any advice... any prayer... any insight... please.
