Non-Christian circles are getting to me...

frater_domus · Mar 1, 2018

I feel I need to vent a little bit. My patience is currently being tested big time, only God giving me the strength to stay afloat.

Here’s the deal: I am attending a study course. Most people attending are around 20-21. Myself, I am 26. The reason is that I have a finished degree and God showed me a better path.
However, both my age and connection to God causes the biggest disconnect here. There are two pole. On the one hand there are a pair of popular guys, who advocate doing nothing, see their cluelessness as cool and care about little more than getting drunk and the beach (the course is in Spain). On the other hand, there is myself, advocating hard work, study groups and urge people to get to work now, before it is to late and the university admission exams are upon us.
Naturally, even those who have a more adult mind tend to the “cool guys”, because the path I show them is not comfortable.

It is so painful to see people running to the abyss and dragging othets behind them. It is so infuriating to hear about alcohol and party every night during dinner. It is so frustrating to have the course slow to crawl because some do not bother to study.

This is not the first time these things happen. I have no Christian friend I know in person. It feels like being assaulted from all sides. Still, I know the Lord is with me and nothing will be able to break me. Still, if you have any advice or experience in dealing with these sort of situations, I’d like to hear

royal priest · Mar 1, 2018

Where in Spain? Are there no good churches to attend? Do you speak Spanish?

frater_domus · Mar 1, 2018

royal priest said:
Where in Spain? Are there no good churches to attend? Do you speak Spanish?

Hah, unfortunately not a word of Spanish. There are a few local ones around, but those seem to have opening times. The bigger ones are too far away for me to be abe to go there regularly and still keep up with my studies. Luckily, only three weeks to go

St_Worm2 · Mar 1, 2018

frater_domus said:
I have no Christian friend I know in person.

Hi FD, the Lord didn't intend for any of us to live the Christian life alone, which is one of the big reasons that He gave us the church, and by doing so each other .. e.g. Proverbs 27:17; Hebrews 10:24-25. You need us and we need you .. 1 Corinthians 12:14-26.

So my principle advice to you is to find a local body of believers to be a part of.

Yours and His,
David
p.s. - remember too that along with the church, the Lord gave us our pastors (His "underservants") as the ones who are tasked most directly with keeping watch over our souls on this side of Glory .. Hebrews 13:17.

frater_domus · Mar 1, 2018

Aye. That is a good advice. The trouble is that things are so chaotic right now. I hope to find a good church once I know which university I will be attending. Chances are it will be in a place where I do not speak the local language though.

But one step at a time. I must not lose my calm right now. Even though they may resent me for it, I must be an example of work well done. I love your Spurgeon quote in the sig. I feel it applies well here. I'll be praying for the folks here that they may yet come to their senses

1stcenturylady · Mar 1, 2018

frater_domus said:
Aye. That is a good advice. The trouble is that things are so chaotic right now. I hope to find a good church once I know which university I will be attending. Chances are it will be in a place where I do not speak the local language though.

But one step at a time. I must not lose my calm right now. Even though they may resent me for it, I must be an example of work well done. I love your Spurgeon quote in the sig. I feel it applies well here. I'll be praying for the folks here that they may yet come to their senses

If no one else wants to study, that shouldn't affect your own pursuits. Just keep studying and doing the best you know how to. After all, it is only three more weeks. God will direct your paths. There are just some times where we have to just brush the dust off our feet and let them make their own choices.

frater_domus · Mar 1, 2018

Sometimes, when I feel alone and I pray, I feel like His hand is on my shoulder and I am moved to tears. It is moments like these that renew me more than anything else possibly could. It gives me the resolve to stand up again and carry on. Praise the Lord! :bow:

1stcenturylady · Mar 1, 2018

frater_domus said:
Sometimes, when I feel alone and I pray, I feel like His hand is on my shoulder and I am moved to tears. It is moments like these that renew me more than anything else possibly could. It gives me the resolve to stand up again and carry on. Praise the Lord!

This is just one pebble on the path of your life, and it soon will be behind you. Keep your eyes on the prize, and not on those around you.

frater_domus · Mar 1, 2018

But how can I forget those around me? I can not just leave them. I find it hard to describe, but I feel a lot of compassion for them, even though they do of things that irritate me. Turning away feels cruel to me. Is it not better to suffer but have a clear conscience, knowing you did all you could? As long as God is with us, there is always hope.

royal priest · Mar 1, 2018

frater_domus said:
Sometimes, when I feel alone and I pray, I feel like His hand is on my shoulder and I am moved to tears. It is moments like these that renew me more than anything else possibly could. It gives me the resolve to stand up again and carry on. Praise the Lord!

That's a blessed experience indeed. 2 Timothy 4:16-17

frater_domus · Mar 2, 2018

But why is there such a disconnect. Is it because of divergent priorities? Am I just stuck in my own head and not participating in life? I am not sure. Do you guys also have something like this happening?

Kit Sigmon · Mar 2, 2018

frater_domus said:
But how can I forget those around me? I can not just leave them. I find it hard to describe, but I feel a lot of compassion for them, even though they do of things that irritate me. Turning away feels cruel to me. Is it not better to suffer but have a clear conscience, knowing you did all you could? As long as God is with us, there is always hope.

You can always pray for the lost.
It's good to be discerning when it's time to move on, like when others ain't wanting what you keep offering to them.

Matthew 7:6
"Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you."

Matthew 10:14
"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet."

deusartemlux · Mar 3, 2018

frater_domus said:
I feel I need to vent a little bit. My patience is currently being tested big time, only God giving me the strength to stay afloat.

Here’s the deal: I am attending a study course. Most people attending are around 20-21. Myself, I am 26. The reason is that I have a finished degree and God showed me a better path.
However, both my age and connection to God causes the biggest disconnect here. There are two pole. On the one hand there are a pair of popular guys, who advocate doing nothing, see their cluelessness as cool and care about little more than getting drunk and the beach (the course is in Spain). On the other hand, there is myself, advocating hard work, study groups and urge people to get to work now, before it is to late and the university admission exams are upon us.
Naturally, even those who have a more adult mind tend to the “cool guys”, because the path I show them is not comfortable.

It is so painful to see people running to the abyss and dragging othets behind them. It is so infuriating to hear about alcohol and party every night during dinner. It is so frustrating to have the course slow to crawl because some do not bother to study.

This is not the first time these things happen. I have no Christian friend I know in person. It feels like being assaulted from all sides. Still, I know the Lord is with me and nothing will be able to break me. Still, if you have any advice or experience in dealing with these sort of situations, I’d like to hear

I totally understand! I too am often in the latter half of "be cool or be cast out". It seems like you have two options, be a hedonist or a weirdo. Think on this. God guaranteed we'd have persecution in our life. It's good your feeling lonely because it means your not just floating with the rest of the flotsam downstream! However, that lonliness can cause lots of spiritual complications; it can make me feel angry at God, like "Why am I all alone??"
The anecdote? Read God's word. Pray alot. Read good blogs, and talk with folks here on the forums! Also, just be honest with folks. I have found that my relationships with God haters go much better when they know who I am and what I'm about right off the bat (that works better than pretending you're a cool guy too for the sake of conversation and the fear of being akward).
Honestly, it means get ready to be alone a lot of the time. Make being alone fun; get some coffee, some good tunes on, read a psalm, and then get going on homework! The world can do whatever it wants, but you can still do what's right!

Stay strong at uni buddy! I know how it is!

Stay strong buddy, I know how uni can be!

frater_domus · Mar 3, 2018

I was angry at God only once and it lasted a few hours. There are certain mental barriers in my head that prevent this sort of thinking. After all, God is always right

Instead of 'why' I tend to ask 'what can I take away from this' and I always try to first examine my own fault in the matter. After all, the only person I can change is myself. This has the side-effect of me being extremely hard and unforgiving towards myself, which can send me down a spiral of hopelessness. This is where those divine pick-me-ups really help

I just find it regretable that I can not be a good son for the father who gave us everything unconditionally and out of love. It makes me feel like a thankless scumbag at times.

Still, God is doing His thing. I prayed about my own negtive disposition towards the crowd there as well as their priorities and things have levelled out. Even those who appeared to do the least were starting to study and I was reminded that hatred and condemnation is not a godly way of thinking, which caused me to open up. There is no tension left to speak of and we had a good time since then

This is the main point though. Righteous indignation may be allowed, but boy is it a slippery slope. I find that Christians often get caught up in seeing faults in others and ignoring their own ones. We run around condemning everyone, not seeing that we are just like the pharisees. We go to rallies and persecute those we deem unrighteous, not seeing that we are rotten ourselves and only by the grace of God are we saved. Believing in Christ and being saved does not make us entitled or special. But alas, this is often how we think.
Instead of me getting caught up in hating lazy people and drunks, I should've seen that it was not righteousness that drove me but pride and arrogance and that I should've been more humble in my approach. In my zealous pursuit I failed to notice that I was a part of the problem.

Being a worthy representative of Christ is difficult and I am happy to make those mistakes, for they ground me and remind me that I am far from perfect. Always remember, we need to be governed by love, not selfish ambitions. This is something I love to forget...

Tiann Jackson · Mar 3, 2018

I am so sorry to hear how your studies are being affected. I can only imagine how hard it is for you. Is there any way you can connect with other believers? I pray that you continue to stand and be an example. How long do you have to be there?

frater_domus said:
I feel I need to vent a little bit. My patience is currently being tested big time, only God giving me the strength to stay afloat.

Here’s the deal: I am attending a study course. Most people attending are around 20-21. Myself, I am 26. The reason is that I have a finished degree and God showed me a better path.
However, both my age and connection to God causes the biggest disconnect here. There are two pole. On the one hand there are a pair of popular guys, who advocate doing nothing, see their cluelessness as cool and care about little more than getting drunk and the beach (the course is in Spain). On the other hand, there is myself, advocating hard work, study groups and urge people to get to work now, before it is to late and the university admission exams are upon us.
Naturally, even those who have a more adult mind tend to the “cool guys”, because the path I show them is not comfortable.

It is so painful to see people running to the abyss and dragging othets behind them. It is so infuriating to hear about alcohol and party every night during dinner. It is so frustrating to have the course slow to crawl because some do not bother to study.

This is not the first time these things happen. I have no Christian friend I know in person. It feels like being assaulted from all sides. Still, I know the Lord is with me and nothing will be able to break me. Still, if you have any advice or experience in dealing with these sort of situations, I’d like to hear

Sketcher · Mar 4, 2018

frater_domus said:
I feel I need to vent a little bit. My patience is currently being tested big time, only God giving me the strength to stay afloat.

Here’s the deal: I am attending a study course. Most people attending are around 20-21. Myself, I am 26. The reason is that I have a finished degree and God showed me a better path.
However, both my age and connection to God causes the biggest disconnect here. There are two pole. On the one hand there are a pair of popular guys, who advocate doing nothing, see their cluelessness as cool and care about little more than getting drunk and the beach (the course is in Spain). On the other hand, there is myself, advocating hard work, study groups and urge people to get to work now, before it is to late and the university admission exams are upon us.
Naturally, even those who have a more adult mind tend to the “cool guys”, because the path I show them is not comfortable.

It is so painful to see people running to the abyss and dragging othets behind them. It is so infuriating to hear about alcohol and party every night during dinner. It is so frustrating to have the course slow to crawl because some do not bother to study.

How do they slow the course down exactly? What is it about the course that ties their work ethic or lack thereof to your success or failure? Are you all in a group that gets graded as a group for an assignment or something?

frater_domus said:
But why is there such a disconnect. Is it because of divergent priorities? Am I just stuck in my own head and not participating in life? I am not sure. Do you guys also have something like this happening?

Out of curiosity, are there any other Germans in the course? My limited experience with Germans in a school setting is that they tend to take school and studying noticeably more seriously than many Americans. Perhaps the same can be said for Poles and Spaniards in comparison to Germans - in other words, a cultural difference with how education is approached.

frater_domus · Mar 4, 2018

@Tiann Jackson - Nope. I don’t speak Spanish. But no matter, only two weeks to go. As I have written above, things have normalized a bit. It also partially my own fault that a disconnect happened. We like to see the faults in others, but barely notice our own. Praise the Lord for showing me the error of my ways.

@Sketcher - It is supposed to be a preparational course for various med school application exams. Basically, we’re going through all the relevant topics. So no, we are not being graded. However, questions from the teacher are being answered too slowly and few know what topics we need to cover. The teacher wasn’t the best lecturer either, so everything was a bit shaky. Luckily, I prepared well and wasn’t reliant on the biology part. Lest see whether the Chemistry dude can keep order

They are all Germans. However, the whole German neat-und-tidy approach seems to have died out. Teens and young adults are basically the same everywhere now and more worried about short term gain as opposed to long term.
I can testify to that. No amount of German school or university was able to make me move down the path of diligence. Only prayer and faith did.

Though as I said, things are getting better. I took a more open and loving approach and they are starting to study. Prayer helped

Though nothing of it would have been possible if God had not urged me to become more diligent and study hard before the course.
Said discipline has been remarked already, in a positive light, so I hope that I can yet rub off on some of those and make a good example in the name of Christ

Andrew77 · Mar 4, 2018

frater_domus said:
But why is there such a disconnect. Is it because of divergent priorities? Am I just stuck in my own head and not participating in life? I am not sure. Do you guys also have something like this happening?

Yes, sure. I've had that feeling for ages.

One thing that did sort of help, was to simply acknowledge that I have absolutely no power to change other people. So I stopped trying. That made life significantly better. You can't change anyone. Not a co-worker, not a friend, not a spouse. No one. If you stop thinking that if you only did x, or if you only did y, then maybe they would suddenly wake up "Oh! She's right! I'm being dumb!". If you get that thought pattern out of your life, you'll get along better with everyone.

As for not participating in life. I've always assumed that was my fault somehow, that I'm just not good enough to do well in life.

I'd be interested to know if you learn something else. Praying and going to church hasn't fixed that for me.

Heavenhome · Mar 5, 2018

frater_domus said:
I was angry at God only once and it lasted a few hours. There are certain mental barriers in my head that prevent this sort of thinking. After all, God is always right
Instead of 'why' I tend to ask 'what can I take away from this' and I always try to first examine my own fault in the matter. After all, the only person I can change is myself. This has the side-effect of me being extremely hard and unforgiving towards myself, which can send me down a spiral of hopelessness. This is where those divine pick-me-ups really help I just find it regretable that I can not be a good son for the father who gave us everything unconditionally and out of love. It makes me feel like a thankless scumbag at times.

Still, God is doing His thing. I prayed about my own negtive disposition towards the crowd there as well as their priorities and things have levelled out. Even those who appeared to do the least were starting to study and I was reminded that hatred and conademnation is not a godly way of thinking, which caused me to open up. There is no tension left to speak of and we had a good time since then

This is the main point though. Righteous indignation may be allowed, but boy is it a slippery slope. I find that Christians often get caught up in seeing faults in others and ignoring their own ones. We run around condemning everyone, not seeing that we are just like the pharisees. We go to rallies and persecute those we deem unrighteous, not seeing that we are rotten ourselves and only by the grace of God are we saved. Believing in Christ and being saved does not make us entitled or special. But alas, this is often how we think.
Instead of me getting caught up in hating lazy people and drunks, I should've seen that it was not righteousness that drove me but pride and arrogance and that I should've been more humble in my approach. In my zealous pursuit I failed to notice that I was a part of the problem.

Being a worthy representative of Christ is difficult and I am happy to make those mistakes, for they ground me and remind me that I am far from perfect. Always remember, we need to be governed by love, not selfish ambitions. This is something I love to forget...

Having read all your posts I think you are sometimes a bit hard on yourself, but that is good and I really believe that anyone who doesn't struggle may not really be, being honest. It is very hard when you have the heart of Jesus for others and things seem to be going nowhere. There will always be people around you who will be in opposition to your faith, but stay strong and bring it all to God when in prayer. I like your humbleness and remember the opposition Jesus endured, why do we expect anything less for ourselves. As far as having no church as yet or Christian friend (and I have been there) until things change, use this time to draw closer to God in Bible reading, prayer and study- this time may be being used to teach you reliance on Him alone. It was this way for me and even though it is very hard at the time you will find your faith stronger than ever.
I have a sister who says that I have it easy as I don't have children to worry about whether they have faith or not.
It would be true if I didn't feel for others but I do. I long for other family members to love God and my heart breaks for the lost because they don't realise the truth, but having said that how much harder is it for God who does not will that any should perish.
Take heart and remember you are never alone. God Bless

deusartemlux · Mar 5, 2018

*only one sign off.

haha, I've been told I was a repetative essay writer before.

Non-Christian circles are getting to me...

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