- Feb 14, 2018
- 15
- 21
- 26
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- In Relationship
- Politics
- US-Republican
Hello, everyone. This is my first post, and as soon as I discovered this forum, my mind went immediately to my brother. Me and my brother were raised Christian, and have been going to church since we were kids, but his faith has been dwindling ever since 2011 or so. Whenever our family has conversations about God, or I talk to him about something Christian-related, it tends to trigger him into feeling bad. He suffers from depression, as well as Asperger's Syndrome, and often feels as though the world is against him, and I am constantly deeply worried about his state.
Sometimes he'll tell me he's scared of what's going to happen when he dies, and about how scared he is that he is going to go to hell when he dies and how he's terrified of it, but, although I've tried explaining to him about God and his commandments, but also his endless grace and that He loves my brother, my brother has told me personally that he feels as though that rule doesn't apply to him, that God is not going to be unconditionally loving and forgiving to him. I have told him sometimes that, even if he feels alone in the world, that God always loves him and cares about him, and will always hear his prayers, but my brother feels as though God hates him, and he also feels like God wants him to suffer (from being alive and going through the depression.)
I have always cared about my brother, but seeing his dwindling belief in God and His love for him has saddened me over the years. I want so strongly that he will find His love again.
Additionally, I have not been able to attend church in.. honestly a few years now, due to family conflict and being afraid to be around my father and also avoiding being around my brother, as our relationship was rocky in the past, but has been possibly stabilizing now, and I miss my church and my wonderful friends there. I am currently unable to drive or get there by myself, so I would always go with my dad, but things are tough with him lately and I try to avoid being around him to avoid becoming hurt, emotionally.
I miss the atmosphere and feeling so covered in God's presence. Every weekend pains me because, I want to be there, but I wish I could go without having to travel there with my father.
Because of the long time I have spent away from my church, sadly, my focus on my faith and Christianity has also dwindled. I still love God very much and pray every night, but I feel like I want His fire and His love back in my life at its strongest, and I want Him to guide me and my life. I am young and still trying to find my job/career path for the future, and perhaps caught up in anxiety from being the age that I am where the future is unsure, but I know He loves me and that He is here for me. I want my focus to be on Him so much more. I feel so bad that my focus dwindles so much sometimes, and I feel so bad for getting distracted and distant from Him and I don't feel right inside from it, because I love Him and want His presence. I am constantly feeling bad for getting distracted by videos/video games/life/relaxing and doing anything that often I don't spend my time delving into important things spiritually, like worship and study. I would love to spend this year, and my future years, focusing more on God and not being so dormant as I have been, spiritually.
I also would like to request prayer for me and my boyfriend, both of us are in a long-distance relationship, and currently, he is not a Christian, but I have talked to him about it in the past, and he is open to becoming one as well. We are very close, and he always listens to me about anything I want to talk about, and I am glad that he is willing, and when we meet, hopefully, we will be able to go to church and grow in Christ further, but I am not sure when we will be able to meet, and I would very much appreciate prayer for helping me find the courage, and most of all, the right words to say to explain to him about Christianity, God, and my faith. I want us to have a healthy physical and spiritual life together, and I also very, very much want for us to be together in Heaven, as the idea of being there without him is heartbreaking to me.
So, I pray for God to direct my path, rekindle his presence into my life, and I want Him to shower love and hope onto my brother, who needs His love so much. My brother needs hope and nothing else has been able to satisfy that need, and I want to see him happy, and I know God's love is the most fulfilling love ever.
Thank you all so much.
Sometimes he'll tell me he's scared of what's going to happen when he dies, and about how scared he is that he is going to go to hell when he dies and how he's terrified of it, but, although I've tried explaining to him about God and his commandments, but also his endless grace and that He loves my brother, my brother has told me personally that he feels as though that rule doesn't apply to him, that God is not going to be unconditionally loving and forgiving to him. I have told him sometimes that, even if he feels alone in the world, that God always loves him and cares about him, and will always hear his prayers, but my brother feels as though God hates him, and he also feels like God wants him to suffer (from being alive and going through the depression.)
I have always cared about my brother, but seeing his dwindling belief in God and His love for him has saddened me over the years. I want so strongly that he will find His love again.
Additionally, I have not been able to attend church in.. honestly a few years now, due to family conflict and being afraid to be around my father and also avoiding being around my brother, as our relationship was rocky in the past, but has been possibly stabilizing now, and I miss my church and my wonderful friends there. I am currently unable to drive or get there by myself, so I would always go with my dad, but things are tough with him lately and I try to avoid being around him to avoid becoming hurt, emotionally.
I miss the atmosphere and feeling so covered in God's presence. Every weekend pains me because, I want to be there, but I wish I could go without having to travel there with my father.
Because of the long time I have spent away from my church, sadly, my focus on my faith and Christianity has also dwindled. I still love God very much and pray every night, but I feel like I want His fire and His love back in my life at its strongest, and I want Him to guide me and my life. I am young and still trying to find my job/career path for the future, and perhaps caught up in anxiety from being the age that I am where the future is unsure, but I know He loves me and that He is here for me. I want my focus to be on Him so much more. I feel so bad that my focus dwindles so much sometimes, and I feel so bad for getting distracted and distant from Him and I don't feel right inside from it, because I love Him and want His presence. I am constantly feeling bad for getting distracted by videos/video games/life/relaxing and doing anything that often I don't spend my time delving into important things spiritually, like worship and study. I would love to spend this year, and my future years, focusing more on God and not being so dormant as I have been, spiritually.
I also would like to request prayer for me and my boyfriend, both of us are in a long-distance relationship, and currently, he is not a Christian, but I have talked to him about it in the past, and he is open to becoming one as well. We are very close, and he always listens to me about anything I want to talk about, and I am glad that he is willing, and when we meet, hopefully, we will be able to go to church and grow in Christ further, but I am not sure when we will be able to meet, and I would very much appreciate prayer for helping me find the courage, and most of all, the right words to say to explain to him about Christianity, God, and my faith. I want us to have a healthy physical and spiritual life together, and I also very, very much want for us to be together in Heaven, as the idea of being there without him is heartbreaking to me.
So, I pray for God to direct my path, rekindle his presence into my life, and I want Him to shower love and hope onto my brother, who needs His love so much. My brother needs hope and nothing else has been able to satisfy that need, and I want to see him happy, and I know God's love is the most fulfilling love ever.
Thank you all so much.
