You guys ever feel like God has made things worse in your life.

igotgoodnews · Aug 12, 2011

Theres a funny thing about God in my life. As much as I would like to run away from it (And I realllllyyy doo...) I cant... its like that inescapable truth in my
life now. where even if i wanted to not believe, i couldn't.

Ironicly enough I would call myself the thomas of doubters (As im sure a lot of us here on the ocd board could.)

I feel like I never really had OCD like this until i came to the faith.

I really dislike most people at church, even after changing churches.

I NEVER enjoy anything anymore... and im not even exagerating. people come up to me and ask "what do you do on your free time" well i guess i would say now a days i sleep... A LOT. I Pray, i go to work. come back home and sleep. I jump through mental hoops all day.

and by the end of it. im tired. just tired... and nothing seems to be getting any better with this.

I accepted God and Jesus as my savior. but so far thats brought me problems in my life that i havent had to deal with in so long.

-Anxiety(social) even hanging out with my own family...
-loss of ambition for life... Whenever i find something i want to do... its quickly shot down for one reason or another. and the first thing my mind goes to is God.

People tell me that I just need to change my view on God. I know God is loving, he wouldnt have had jesus die for me if he wasnt. but what proof have i got in my life to show that he loves "ME!"

Why cant i just let these thoughts GO. Im so done with it. but he wont let me...

I feel like crying most nights, because i want my life to go back to the way it was.. happier, and more care free.

edit: I know by the end of this it just sounds like i havent accepted God into my life. I do, actually, I do a lot of times. sometimes multiple times throughout the week.

I just found out my brothers Gay.

Im destroyed inside. I'm lost. Its like I dont even care about living anymore.

OCD=Owie · Aug 12, 2011

igotgoodnews said:
Theres a funny thing about God in my life. As much as I would like to run away from it (And I realllllyyy doo...) I cant... its like that inescapable truth in my
life now. where even if i wanted to not believe, i couldn't.

Ironicly enough I would call myself the thomas of doubters (As im sure a lot of us here on the ocd board could.)

I feel like I never really had OCD like this until i came to the faith.

I really dislike most people at church, even after changing churches.

I NEVER enjoy anything anymore... and im not even exagerating. people come up to me and ask "what do you do on your free time" well i guess i would say now a days i sleep... A LOT. I Pray, i go to work. come back home and sleep. I jump through mental hoops all day.

and by the end of it. im tired. just tired... and nothing seems to be getting any better with this.

I accepted God and Jesus as my savior. but so far thats brought me problems in my life that i havent had to deal with in so long.

-Anxiety(social) even hanging out with my own family...
-loss of ambition for life... Whenever i find something i want to do... its quickly shot down for one reason or another. and the first thing my mind goes to is God.

People tell me that I just need to change my view on God. I know God is loving, he wouldnt have had jesus die for me if he wasnt. but what proof have i got in my life to show that he loves "ME!"

Why cant i just let these thoughts GO. Im so done with it. but he wont let me...

I feel like crying most nights, because i want my life to go back to the way it was.. happier, and more care free.

edit: I know by the end of this it just sounds like i havent accepted God into my life. I do, actually, I do a lot of times. sometimes multiple times throughout the week.

I just found out my brothers Gay.

Im destroyed inside. I'm lost. Its like I dont even care about living anymore.

Hey igotgoodnews, sorry you're going through such a rough time.

Jesus didn't promise us that our lives would be easier after accepting Him. There are going to be rough spots. However, it really sounds like you have a severe case of OCD. What you're describing sounds like symptoms of depression to me. You might want to consider seeing a mental health professional or therapist to talk through some of these issues.

Also, I don't completely understand what you're saying about God. You said,
"As much as I would like to run away from it (And I realllllyyy doo...) I cant... its like that inescapable truth in my
life now. where even if i wanted to not believe, i couldn't."
What did you mean by that?

You also said,
"loss of ambition for life... Whenever i find something i want to do... its quickly shot down for one reason or another. and the first thing my mind goes to is God."
Are you saying you think you can't do certain things that you enjoy because God doesn't want you to?

I understand the frustrations of OCD. They suck. But ultimately, they're a challenge that we have to face. That does not mean you're in it alone, however. I prayed for years that God would take away my OCD, and it got to the point where it seemed like it would just last forever. Now though, I have reached a place where my OCD is not the severely debilitating thing that it was. I can function normally in my life now, and am only bugged by it a little bit now and then. I believe that my prayers were answered, they just took awhile. I guess God wnated me to learn some things from my OCD first.

Not to mention, you have this board, and you can seek help from a professional therapist (which I recommend given the way you have described your feelings.)

Another thing you said was,
"I feel like I never really had OCD like this until i came to the faith. "
OCD uses our worst fears against us. Maybe you're getting OCD symptoms related to your faith because it's something that you very much care about now that you have it.

Take care man. You can recover from all of this!

theWaris1 · Aug 12, 2011

I don't have OCD badly or maybe none at all but feel the way you do at times.. I have a son with bad OCD who I try to understand.

My problem is that I passed up opportunities because I felt I was starting a "love for money" the root of all evil.
Now I struggle financially which seems to get worse these days and that makes everything worse.

I often feel I was cursed by my Christian Dad who was not a nice man(Possibly a follower of tradition without a new birth experience) who cursed me to a life of hard ship.
There was no love there and my Christian family was worthless. We all went to church every time the doors were opened and they made my life miserable. I was called out at 7 years old and felt I was the only one hearing the word and trying to live it the best I could with my little knowledge.. My Christian Mum tried to kill me during a PMS fest mingled with her Radical feminist anger towards all men. My sisters could have joined the witches of eastwick and nothing good ever came from their mouths. Non-Typical dysfunctional Christian family I hope. I lived in the twilight zone.
I ran from God for 2 decades because I wanted nothing to do with these evil people in my family or their religion.
I learned my Dad was a bully growing up. His manipulation and nagging were endless and he always supported the others who railed against me always. Only one person in my family ever showed signs of a new birth later in life but she was surrounded by bad influence and the confusion made it hard for her to see straight. While running for years I became unequally yoked.. enough said. I'm still paying for the mistake.

God called me back years later and showed me many and things about some so-called Christians.

I do have one blessing that I can dwell on. It's important to count your blessings or that one special blessing if that's the case and dwell on it.

Igotgoodnews you really do sound depressed and my story could sound that way too.
Get your doctor to do a full blood test on you.
Hypothyroidism can cause you to feel the way you do.

tripletiger1200 · Aug 13, 2011

I've felt that way before. I still sometimes think it, but then I realize, God has been able to use this to teach me a lot and help me lose any faith in myself and place it in Jesus. It's been tough, and I've fought Him every step of the way, but He is patient and He is going to win. Sometimes it looks impossible, and I despair because I realize how bad I am, but it always helps me to remember that Jesus died for sinners, and that I can't sanctify or better myself even without my problems. I realize now that I can't trust my emotions or my thoughts, and although it is hard to put that realization in to practice, it is comforting to know that it is not me who is making that happen anyway. Hang in there

pitseleh · Aug 13, 2011

When my faith got stronger. This started for me. The proverbial crap hit the fan. But, I look at it this way. It's just the old Devil trying to try to point me in the wrong direction. God wants me to get over this!

SoldierOfSoul · Aug 13, 2011

You guys ever feel like God has made things worse in your life.

If it wasn't for God I would have killed myself long ago. So in answer to your question "no".

dabro · Aug 13, 2011

Once you became Born again ur His. There is no changing that! I've been there thats what keeps me grounded. If I truly did not believe I would smoke meth and do drugs but since I know that satan and God first and formost is real I have a leash on me that tells me this is the way to go. Yes life is harder but it doesn't compare to the Glory that will be shown in us who believe.

redeemedbutterfly · Oct 28, 2017

igotgoodnews said:
Theres a funny thing about God in my life. As much as I would like to run away from it (And I realllllyyy doo...) I cant... its like that inescapable truth in my
life now. where even if i wanted to not believe, i couldn't.

Ironicly enough I would call myself the thomas of doubters (As im sure a lot of us here on the ocd board could.)

I feel like I never really had OCD like this until i came to the faith.

I really dislike most people at church, even after changing churches.

I NEVER enjoy anything anymore... and im not even exagerating. people come up to me and ask "what do you do on your free time" well i guess i would say now a days i sleep... A LOT. I Pray, i go to work. come back home and sleep. I jump through mental hoops all day.

and by the end of it. im tired. just tired... and nothing seems to be getting any better with this.

I accepted God and Jesus as my savior. but so far thats brought me problems in my life that i havent had to deal with in so long.

-Anxiety(social) even hanging out with my own family...
-loss of ambition for life... Whenever i find something i want to do... its quickly shot down for one reason or another. and the first thing my mind goes to is God.

People tell me that I just need to change my view on God. I know God is loving, he wouldnt have had jesus die for me if he wasnt. but what proof have i got in my life to show that he loves "ME!"

Why cant i just let these thoughts GO. Im so done with it. but he wont let me...

I feel like crying most nights, because i want my life to go back to the way it was.. happier, and more care free.

edit: I know by the end of this it just sounds like i havent accepted God into my life. I do, actually, I do a lot of times. sometimes multiple times throughout the week.

I just found out my brothers Gay.

Im destroyed inside. I'm lost. Its like I dont even care about living anymore.

I am experiencing everything you listed. I love Christ and I also feel lost as an individual. Many aspects of my life have improved, but in reality A LOT has disappeared, including my personality. I feel like I don't even know myself. Are Christians supposed to feel like this? I feel like I overthink everything and If I don't, I feel like I'm disobeying God by talking to Him first about all matters. I honestly feel slightly trapped, mentally, as a Christian.

christianforumsuser · Oct 28, 2017

Worldly religion of manmade thoughts trying to fulfill the Law on one's own, not realizing the intention of Jesus Christ must seem like such a miserable contradiction. That you boast of strength of flesh and that you're supposed to be thankful...but for what...as you might notice a sin you tend to do or wonder if something is a sin...and pray that you're sorry as if you (your flesh?) won't do it again...while trying to be more thankful for whatever this is supposed to be
Asking for things you see or think you want...or to not want and covet...or for answers or SOMETHING

You need to learn and understand and believe what the Bible says. It might not always be so nice to hear. Actually any truth at this point should be refreshing I'd hope.
If you don't get the remission of sin you have a problem.
Have you met anyone who has the remission of sin and has dedicated their life to it? Or only people saying whatever sounds nice to get social status and money.

Mari17 · Oct 28, 2017

redeemedbutterfly said:
I am experiencing everything you listed. I love Christ and I also feel lost as an individual. Many aspects of my life have improved, but in reality A LOT has disappeared, including my personality. I feel like I don't even know myself. Are Christians supposed to feel like this? I feel like I overthink everything and If I don't, I feel like I'm disobeying God by talking to Him first about all matters. I honestly feel slightly trapped, mentally, as a Christian.

Do you have OCD? Or do you just feel like Christianity is "cramping your style"? Of course there are things we choose to give up, as Christians, in order to please God and make our walk with Him more effective. But Christianity is about a relationship with God, and having Him live in us and give us peace and strength and love and joy. And He helps us to do the things He is asking us to do. It's all about building a beautiful relationship with Him. Of course, if you have OCD, that's a whole other situation, and involves working on your mindset and learning not to be afraid of the things that give you anxiety. It isn't clear from your post whether or not you have OCD, so maybe you could give a couple of specific examples?

Ajoj · Dec 30, 2017

What are things that you want to do but give up to please God?

Antig · Dec 30, 2017

I can see where you are coming from OP. Surprising how many of us feel the same! You are DEFINITELY not alone!

I don't know what is around the next corner myself. All I do know, us that I love God so, so much. Otherwise, life is worthless and painful.

Blessings to you

AprilE · Feb 8, 2018

i get you:

OLD life is fun, we can do everything we want and not care with anyone else as long as we are happy. We have a lot of outlet because we are carefree and free to do everything. Normally some outlet is against God and not pleasing but basically these are the MOST happiest in our lives but when we became one with God, that part that makes us happy with the world should be abandoned. We live in guilt even when we are happy because it is wrong... but you know WE ARE HAPPY at least.

NEW life with God... we are not free to do what we want but we are only free from our sins. And we cannot do things that made us happy before. And now we are limited in our actions because most of the things we want to do is not pleasing to God. I am my worst self living with God... I am miserable with Him. The only difference is that i do not have to be guilty of anything because I DO NOT DO anything anymore. Nothing fun to do, just go home and work... what else can you do and sin on such routine? I do not have much outlet coz most of the things o wanna do, God wont allow so i just keep myself isolated. Its no fun anymore living.

In summary, both hell and heaven for me are the same... its not free.. Hell is where you are free to do everything you want but are not free from sins... and Heaven is you are free from sins but you arent free to do anything you want... so both are slaves just a choice we will make: be a slave to sin or slave to God? In the end, i found both miserable.

Im sorry God, i do love you with all my heart... but you made me a different person from where I was before. God changed and saved me from my vices and wrongdoings but He isolated me to the World... many straight people will tell me that maybe i cannot find anything pleasing in my life now thats why im not happy and i dont need to blame God for it... but really if i want to do what is pleasing to me and not with God, im losing purpose of being born again... but i cannot do as well what i dont want to do. Im tired of being whipped by God for doing the wrong things may it be by repentance or for forgiving myself and I know He always love me inspite of.. but my life now is not as happy as before... my life is just plain nothing. Im not even excited to getup, just plain living waiting for the Lord to come home. I actually I am excited for the time He comes back here so I can cut my sufferings... i live like a dead person... not enjoying life for 4 years of living and following God. Sometimes i do not know myself anymore. Forgive me God for being honest with you... but this is the truth I face everyday of my life when i commit of pleasing you but not pleasing myself and now i am not happy. What is jsut miraculous is that i feel light and not heavy or maybe i numb already for all disappointments and frustrations of not doing what we want in life. Talk about ambition... i understand when you say you dont have one anymore... what is ambition when you cannot control your life? God is in control now, what is the point of ambition. I dream of dying and of the end of the world to end my suffering as i know God wont be happy if i commit suicide and so i pray for natural death. I maybe bery negative with my thoughts but God wants us to be honest with our feelings. I always play the book of Job coz thats the only book i can relate too coz God let Job miserable on purpose... so He is the only one to take us out of our sufferings but I cannot say I am happy when I am not. I am just proud of myself that even if I am not happy, i never done anything that would make me sin again just like my vices before but if God would take against me my frustrations of Him... i do not know anymore what else to do while i live here. If honesty is a sin... i do not know where to go and to believe anymore.

Mari17 · Feb 8, 2018

AprilE said:
i get you:

OLD life is fun, we can do everything we want and not care with anyone else as long as we are happy. We have a lot of outlet because we are carefree and free to do everything. Normally some outlet is against God and not pleasing but basically these are the MOST happiest in our lives but when we became one with God, that part that makes us happy with the world should be abandoned. We live in guilt even when we are happy because it is wrong... but you know WE ARE HAPPY at least.

NEW life with God... we are not free to do what we want but we are only free from our sins. And we cannot do things that made us happy before. And now we are limited in our actions because most of the things we want to do is not pleasing to God. I am my worst self living with God... I am miserable with Him. The only difference is that i do not have to be guilty of anything because I DO NOT DO anything anymore. Nothing fun to do, just go home and work... what else can you do and sin on such routine? I do not have much outlet coz most of the things o wanna do, God wont allow so i just keep myself isolated. Its no fun anymore living.

In summary, both hell and heaven for me are the same... its not free.. Hell is where you are free to do everything you want but are not free from sins... and Heaven is you are free from sins but you arent free to do anything you want... so both are slaves just a choice we will make: be a slave to sin or slave to God? In the end, i found both miserable.

Im sorry God, i do love you with all my heart... but you made me a different person from where I was before. God changed and saved me from my vices and wrongdoings but He isolated me to the World... many straight people will tell me that maybe i cannot find anything pleasing in my life now thats why im not happy and i dont need to blame God for it... but really if i want to do what is pleasing to me and not with God, im losing purpose of being born again... but i cannot do as well what i dont want to do. Im tired of being whipped by God for doing the wrong things may it be by repentance or for forgiving myself and I know He always love me inspite of.. but my life now is not as happy as before... my life is just plain nothing. Im not even excited to getup, just plain living waiting for the Lord to come home. I actually I am excited for the time He comes back here so I can cut my sufferings... i live like a dead person... not enjoying life for 4 years of living and following God. Sometimes i do not know myself anymore. Forgive me God for being honest with you... but this is the truth I face everyday of my life when i commit of pleasing you but not pleasing myself and now i am not happy. What is jsut miraculous is that i feel light and not heavy or maybe i numb already for all disappointments and frustrations of not doing what we want in life. Talk about ambition... i understand when you say you dont have one anymore... what is ambition when you cannot control your life? God is in control now, what is the point of ambition. I dream of dying and of the end of the world to end my suffering as i know God wont be happy if i commit suicide and so i pray for natural death. I maybe bery negative with my thoughts but God wants us to be honest with our feelings. I always play the book of Job coz thats the only book i can relate too coz God let Job miserable on purpose... so He is the only one to take us out of our sufferings but I cannot say I am happy when I am not. I am just proud of myself that even if I am not happy, i never done anything that would make me sin again just like my vices before but if God would take against me my frustrations of Him... i do not know anymore what else to do while i live here. If honesty is a sin... i do not know where to go and to believe anymore.

My first question is, do you have OCD? And my second is, are you taking a legalistic view of God? What is it that you feel you are not allowed to do anymore? There are some things He does not want us to do because they are not healthy for us spiritually, but there are still lots of things we can do that are fun and exciting. What are the things that you used to enjoy doing, that you feel like you can't anymore?

AprilE · Feb 8, 2018

Mari17 said:
My first question is, do you have OCD? And my second is, are you taking a legalistic view of God? What is it that you feel you are not allowed to do anymore? There are some things He does not want us to do because they are not healthy for us spiritually, but there are still lots of things we can do that are fun and exciting. What are the things that you used to enjoy doing, that you feel like you can't anymore?

OCD is also a mental issue, i dont have it but i am diagnosed bipolar in my old and new life. I may not understand the struggle of an OCD but bipolar is also a battle of mental issue.

Ofcourse I know the right or wrong, of what is healthy or not spiritually and as ive said earlier, straight people will eventually say, there are other things we can do to have fun. Go to charity, etc etc... but the intensity of fun in old life is not the same. I may have enjoy now because everything is light since you do not sin anymore. Reading wont make you sin but enjoyable. So i can still do fun.. i know that but there are fun things i still want to do but cant coz its not pleasing to God and i do not need to write it down here one by one.

You love God and when you love someone you want to fo what will make Him happy but sometimes that act will make you worst coz normally its not what you want but you obey. Like with Abraham to kill his only son, who would want that? But you still do it anyway.

I am human, and everytime I have to obey and it is not something I want but need to do, that just put out the fun in my life until such time my bipolar will kick in and do episodes of high and low.

We are still not free, as ive mentioned, i just chose to be slave with God but there still a slave. My human body is suffering but maybe why i feel light is because of Gods grace in my spirit coz i have nothing else more to be guilty about. But if we talk about happiness, no im not happy, for joy, maybe the struggle of being limited took it out. And if you still cannot understand, its all in the book of Job. And yes i am aware its Satan who inflicts me these pains, but the hard part is God allowed it. So i am just honest of the effect it has brought in my life. I am not happy.

Mari17 · Feb 9, 2018

AprilE said:
OCD is also a mental issue, i dont have it but i am diagnosed bipolar in my old and new life. I may not understand the struggle of an OCD but bipolar is also a battle of mental issue.

Ofcourse I know the right or wrong, of what is healthy or not spiritually and as ive said earlier, straight people will eventually say, there are other things we can do to have fun. Go to charity, etc etc... but the intensity of fun in old life is not the same. I may have enjoy now because everything is light since you do not sin anymore. Reading wont make you sin but enjoyable. So i can still do fun.. i know that but there are fun things i still want to do but cant coz its not pleasing to God and i do not need to write it down here one by one.

You love God and when you love someone you want to fo what will make Him happy but sometimes that act will make you worst coz normally its not what you want but you obey. Like with Abraham to kill his only son, who would want that? But you still do it anyway.

I am human, and everytime I have to obey and it is not something I want but need to do, that just put out the fun in my life until such time my bipolar will kick in and do episodes of high and low.

We are still not free, as ive mentioned, i just chose to be slave with God but there still a slave. My human body is suffering but maybe why i feel light is because of Gods grace in my spirit coz i have nothing else more to be guilty about. But if we talk about happiness, no im not happy, for joy, maybe the struggle of being limited took it out. And if you still cannot understand, its all in the book of Job. And yes i am aware its Satan who inflicts me these pains, but the hard part is God allowed it. So i am just honest of the effect it has brought in my life. I am not happy.

I'm sorry you're struggling with unhappiness. The reason I asked if you had OCD was because sometimes people with OCD think things are sins when they're not. It sounds like you know the difference, though. I'm not sure what things you are choosing not to do anymore, but I'm assuming they're actual sins and not just things you think are sinful. Could you find some new activities to replace the old ones with? Reading, watching uplifting movies/shows, sports or hobbies, traveling? Are there places you could make friends to do fun things with? I'm also curious about whether you have, or should get, help for your bipolar disorder. Could that be affecting your mood? I'm sorry, I don't know much about bipolar, so I can't help much there. I hope you are able to find some peace and joy!

AprilE · Feb 9, 2018

Mari17 said:
I'm sorry you're struggling with unhappiness. The reason I asked if you had OCD was because sometimes people with OCD think things are sins when they're not. It sounds like you know the difference, though. I'm not sure what things you are choosing not to do anymore, but I'm assuming they're actual sins and not just things you think are sinful. Could you find some new activities to replace the old ones with? Reading, watching uplifting movies/shows, sports or hobbies, traveling? Are there places you could make friends to do fun things with? I'm also curious about whether you have, or should get, help for your bipolar disorder. Could that be affecting your mood? I'm sorry, I don't know much about bipolar, so I can't help much there. I hope you are able to find some peace and joy!

I see, well OCD would be hard if thats the case then.

Yes, they are actual sins.

I do take medicine for bipolar which is LitCab prescribed by my psychiatrist. Tried psychotheraphy as well. And i even tried exorcism coz as per the priest who checked on me i am oppressed but not possessed so not that major. Ive done most to help myself but ill be back with wanting the things that made me happy in the past but cant for the love of God.

yes, i have Replacement hobbies but insufficient to sustain the kind of intense happiness my old life brings me if not only it is sinful, i would not let it go.

Regarding with friends, i isolate myself because preaching to them or even as simple as sharing my honest thoughts hurt them making them feel judged so i decided to just isolate myself from everyone. Alone protects me, i dont want to preach anymore or share my testimonies coz i hurt my friends with that. I realize people know right from wrong, what is the essence of sharing to them. I dont even want to be righteous, but im honest with them of my journey yet it feels like its no good sharing to anyone. I just want to be alone and not stress myself with them.

Mari17 · Feb 9, 2018

AprilE said:
I see, well OCD would be hard if thats the case then.

Yes, they are actual sins.

I do take medicine for bipolar which is LitCab prescribed by my psychiatrist. Tried psychotheraphy as well. And i even tried exorcism coz as per the priest who checked on me i am oppressed but not possessed so not that major. Ive done most to help myself but ill be back with wanting the things that made me happy in the past but cant for the love of God.

yes, i have Replacement hobbies but insufficient to sustain the kind of intense happiness my old life brings me if not only it is sinful, i would not let it go.

Regarding with friends, i isolate myself because preaching to them or even as simple as sharing my honest thoughts hurt them making them feel judged so i decided to just isolate myself from everyone. Alone protects me, i dont want to preach anymore or share my testimonies coz i hurt my friends with that. I realize people know right from wrong, what is the essence of sharing to them. I dont even want to be righteous, but im honest with them of my journey yet it feels like its no good sharing to anyone. I just want to be alone and not stress myself with them.

Is there a place where you can find Christian friends? Yes, people usually don't like to be preached to. There is a time and a place to talk about Jesus, but in my opinion, if our friends aren't ready to hear our words, sometimes the best way to "preach" is through our actions, by showing love and kindness. It seems like it would be helpful if you had some support from other believers. If you can't find some in person, maybe you can find some online support groups to be a part of? And maybe you could find some things that can encourage you, like listening to Christian music online (e.g. http://www.klove.com/). You can also call pastors at the Klove radio station and have them pray for you. I don't know your entire situation, but even if you had to give up some things, it seems to me like you should still be able to find joy and happiness in life. If you are having trouble doing that, maybe you need to look into getting help. Maybe you could find a Christian counselor? I'm not sure what the effective types of therapy are for bipolar, but I know that for OCD, there are specific types of therapies and strategies that need to be used to have victory over the disorder. I hope you will be able to find some encouragement and joy.

AprilE · Feb 9, 2018

Mari17 said:
Is there a place where you can find Christian friends? Yes, people usually don't like to be preached to. There is a time and a place to talk about Jesus, but in my opinion, if our friends aren't ready to hear our words, sometimes the best way to "preach" is through our actions, by showing love and kindness. It seems like it would be helpful if you had some support from other believers. If you can't find some in person, maybe you can find some online support groups to be a part of? And maybe you could find some things that can encourage you, like listening to Christian music online (e.g. Positive & Encouraging K-LOVE). You can also call pastors at the Klove radio station and have them pray for you. I don't know your entire situation, but even if you had to give up some things, it seems to me like you should still be able to find joy and happiness in life. If you are having trouble doing that, maybe you need to look into getting help. Maybe you could find a Christian counselor? I'm not sure what the effective types of therapy are for bipolar, but I know that for OCD, there are specific types of therapies and strategies that need to be used to have victory over the disorder. I hope you will be able to find some encouragement and joy.

I do not find Christian friends or Pastors helpful too. They are just good to be true and perfect and nice. As ive told you heaven and hell seems to be same to me. It has nothing to do with external already but is inside me. Ive been with Christian friends for 2 years and its just so straight and nice and all. I know what makes me unhappy because i cannot get what i want without sinning. Thats what im looking for, the thin line between heaven or hell and its neither being good or bad. I dont want mingle with either friends may it be those holy or unholy, both of them never satisfied me. So im better off alone... if this is social anxiety as well, im not sure why by being with God ill grow like this... but yeah the bottomline is im unhappy thats all. Something i want but not sinning, i hope i get that... thats the answer to this unhappiness, so i guess a miracle will do, dont know with God. Its up to Him.

Ajoj · Feb 10, 2018

I really dont like any sin, i do some of them because im weak, and some of them are a way that i learned to deal with stress, althought it doesnt work, just leads to more stress.
I would really like to know what sins are pleasing?

You guys ever feel like God has made things worse in your life.

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