Dealing with intense self hatred

Sean Brunson · Jan 31, 2018

Hi, My name is Sean Brunson, and I have an intense self hatred of myself. The thing is I have very few friends, no real social life, no wife, no job, and I feel a failure in life. I wonder why God gave me life. I think about desth often but am too chicken to do it. I am a laughingstock of my community. I have mental illness and I have heard people call me dumb ,retard, and other mean things. I get depressed because I feel I am worthless and that the only thing I am good for is for taking up space. I have tried taking my life in the past, but obviously it did not work out. I feel that I am unlovable and feel that the few who do care for me only do because they have too.

I'm_Sorry · Jan 31, 2018

Sean Brunson said:
Hi, My name is Sean Brunson, and I have an intense self hatred of myself. The thing is I have very few friends, no real social life, no wife, no job, and I feel a failure in life. I wonder why God gave me life. I think about desth often but am too chicken to do it. I am a laughingstock of my community. I have mental illness and I have heard people call me dumb ,retard, and other mean things. I get depressed because I feel I am worthless and that the only thing I am good for is for taking up space. I have tried taking my life in the past, but obviously it did not work out. I feel that I am unlovable and feel that the few who do care for me only do because they have too.

Hi Sean,

Jesus loves you and values so much that He sacrificed everything for you.

He is your strength, your everything.

Remember His example, remember how man treated Him.

God defines you not man, don't look to man and their judgments.

Look to the Word of God, Christ Jesus, who is the way the truth the life!

I'm_Sorry · Jan 31, 2018

Here you go, got this email today from bible gateway.

He Cares for Us, Day 1

Today’s reading is drawn from Nahum 1:7, Matthew 11:28, Isaiah 46:4, and 1 Peter 5:7.

The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Tolworth John · Jan 31, 2018

Sean Brunson said:
I feel that I am unlovable and feel that the few who do care for me only do because they have too.

I am sorry that you feel the way you do.
The statement of yours I've quoted shows that you are not unloved or uncared for.

May I suggest that you talk to your doctor or to your parrents about your self hatred.

This is not a normal feeling and is an indication that you are unwell and need help.

If I may make a second suggestion.
Please make the effort to attend church, to volunteer to help where you can at church, in charity shops, volunteer centres, to attend school even.

Sitting at home thinking of ones problems only makes them seem worse, doing something, anything distracks one from ones worries.

Grace2022 · Jan 31, 2018

Sean Brunson said:
Hi, My name is Sean Brunson, and I have an intense self hatred of myself. The thing is I have very few friends, no real social life, no wife, no job, and I feel a failure in life. I wonder why God gave me life. I think about desth often but am too chicken to do it. I am a laughingstock of my community. I have mental illness and I have heard people call me dumb ,retard, and other mean things. I get depressed because I feel I am worthless and that the only thing I am good for is for taking up space. I have tried taking my life in the past, but obviously it did not work out. I feel that I am unlovable and feel that the few who do care for me only do because they have too.

Hi
Jesus Christ loves you and wants the best for you. Therefore do not fear. Pray for His guidance.
Then help yourself. Go get a job, it will bring dignity. When dealing with other people speak quietly, listen to them and smile. Be yourself, help others. That way you gradually make friends, by being interested in people and caring about them. There is no mystery, care for others and be respectful and they will usually do the same.
Stop hating yourself. Be aware how precious life is. You are as important as everyone else.
As you trust Jesus in constant prayer, He will change your life completely. If you let Him.

Tokono · Jan 31, 2018

Hey Sean,

I'm sad to hear how you're currently feeling, and it sounds like you have a lot of pain behind your words as well. I just wanted you to know, that sometimes things are much better than they seem. Your first step would be to work on your self-image, there is no mystery as to why positivity beckons positivity and the same for the inverse. Instead of focusing on what you perceive as wrong with your life, focus on whats good with it - and set goals for yourself, do things that make you happy and work on areas you feel that you are lacking. All it takes is a little hard work and dedication. I have faith in you!

God Bless
-Tokono

Larry Yoder · Jan 31, 2018

OK; first GOD loves you more than you will ever know. Stop hating your self! Be happy (there is always something that can make you smile). Go places, talk to people, just do not force yourself on anyone. The local grocery store is a place to start, a word or two spoken with another customer, over time could develope into a great friendship. Christian Love!

Larry Yoder · Jan 31, 2018

Just thinking; get yourself a dog. There are lots of deserving dogs available looking for a home at your local shelter. A dog will love you unconditionally, no matter how bad your day is your dog will always be glad to see you. Another plus; you can take your dog to a dog park and meet other dog owners. Just a thought. I have a dog, she is part of the family.

faroukfarouk · Jan 31, 2018

Hi; good to see you.

Little Lantern · Feb 1, 2018

Welcome to CF, Sean! May you find godly encouragement, warm fellowship, and the love of Christ here. Sounds like you could use a break from negative thoughts. You might consider adding a prayer request to the Prayer Wall forum so members can pray for you. Also check out the Recreation Room forum. It's a great place to have some very light interaction in a fun non-threatening way, and it may help you gain some confidence in your ability to relate to others. Both forums are linked below.

Prayer Wall

Recreation Room

look4hope · Feb 6, 2018

You are not worthless under the eyes of God. Same with people that actually care.
You are worthy. Welcome friend! We are all here for each other.

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Dealing with intense self hatred

Sean Brunson

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I'm_Sorry

Taking a break from CF

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I'm_Sorry

Taking a break from CF

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Tolworth John

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Grace2022

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Larry Yoder

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faroukfarouk

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Be encouraged! Christ has overcome the world!

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