What ever it takes

look4hope said:

to distract me right now. I don’t want to focus on this f’ing depression. I mean...it feels so darn stupid to think I’ve moved on from this. Telling people I’ve managed while forcing a darn smile.

The worst part is that I seek connection with people. Ironically I tell no one about this. This forum is all I got right now.

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So sorry to hear that. Well, you're in the right place. "Why so downcast within me o' my soul? I will yet put my trust in Him, my God." Psalms is always a good place to contemplate and meditate. David had been through a lot of depressive phases in his life as well. Hope that helps. Peace in Christ .

look4hope said:

to distract me right now. I don’t want to focus on this f’ing depression. I mean...it feels so darn stupid to think I’ve moved on from this. Telling people I’ve managed while forcing a darn smile.

The worst part is that I seek connection with people. Ironically I tell no one about this. This forum is all I got right now.

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I hear you loud and clear. I believe everyone in the body of Christ is feeling this way. I believe there is a lot of spiritual oppression and warfare going on right now tgat it strongly affects us, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The enemy’s job is to literally wear out tje saints. Simetimes listening to Christian music helps to ease to pain and discomfort.

look4hope said:

to distract me right now. I don’t want to focus on this f’ing depression. I mean...it feels so darn stupid to think I’ve moved on from this. Telling people I’ve managed while forcing a darn smile.

The worst part is that I seek connection with people. Ironically I tell no one about this. This forum is all I got right now.

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To let go is all about letting people know the real thing. pour out all your depression to empty yourself. find someone your heart trust just pour the whole thing on him/her. Christ wants to listens to you even when He knows.

look4hope said:

Telling people I’ve managed while forcing a darn smile.

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Sometimes if you're not managing just let people know that you are finding the going tough is all you need to do.
Those who know you and care for you will ask for more information and you can share more details.

Be a trend setter and be open about your problems.

That and talk to your doctor/councellor in case you need more than a hug and prayers.

look4hope said:

Some times all I want and need is their time to listen. A hug. Basic human contact which the world is lacking of at this moment.

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That's one of the simplest and most precious things. Most of us hope for simple comforting embrace. I hope you're feeling better today.

i so know what you mean when i was rock bottom a longed for kind loving contact, a hug, a smile an encouragement but everyone shun me, like i shun everyone. a real catch 22 to be.

a lot of people are used to me suffering and seem often heartless if not judgmental about it. Always blaming the sick person for not keeping contact and doing the right thing excusing themselves their inactivity and often careless demeanor.

Hoping things will improve for you.

look4hope said:

it felt easier to speak up about any negative feelings to people before becoming a parent. Having children puts extra...im not sure what to call it. Pressure, worries, concerns. It is not easy to explain things for me now. I know deep in heart and mind that if my kids ever experience this..I would love for them to let it out and trust me at least to talk about their worries and problems. Yet, I am doing the opposite.

I have done the whole counseling and psychologist thing. It does work for me. I don’t take meds. I don’t believe in them.
Coming here has been the one thing that helps a bit. Is draining having to explain to family why or since when or if there’s anything else going etc...every time I share my emotional battles. Some times all I want and need is their time to listen. A hug. Basic human contact which the world is lacking of at this moment.

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i hear you loud and clear no meds but what about vitamins, minerals and/or supplements? i know you may well find much benefit, i know i did. Maybe something to consider?

Also speaking about your issues is the one and only way to working through them. Sharing some of your pain with your loved ones, without loading them with depressive negativity is fine, it gives perspective to those who know you.

Please understand that those lies you are hurting about your state of being does not need to be there. Depression is bad enough. Best keep lies out of the equation all together.

Pretending and lying about my mental illness made my suffering much worse that is for sure. Unbelievable how different my reality became when everything came out! Sharing and caring are essential to get anywhere with depression i reckon.

It is true that kids can complicate things. i've got 5 kids myself though they have all grown up now, they witnessed my illness first hand. How old are yours? How much does your depressed state interfere with parenting you think? For that would be the overriding reason you might want to take action. For if the kids are negatively effected by your condition but they don't know why this is happening, then you best be honest with them if you can.

Maybe talk with your counselor how best go about doing that.

Blessings

look4hope said:

Hello Jeshu. Thank you for your time.
My kids are under 8yrs. They both have seem me crying. They hug me. It’s their way to make things better. I appreciate that from them.
It interferes lightly in my relationship with them. I have managed to control my emotions and release them when I am alone. No harm to me or others. Coming here and Just let it out has helped me.

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Good that talking about your issues is helping you. i have to admit i learned a lot on this site over the years. A lot of good people coming through passing ideas and knowledge around. Depression is hard to cope with so it is good when we have a support base.

Be blessed