Good guys or bad guys?

MehGuy

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Well, I wonder if it's an issue regarding you being too vanilla. Most women (and men) have varying degrees of masochistic needs in a relationship. Doesn't mean they want to be with abusers, but still they need a little rough love/romance to feel fulfilled. It's probable that you are too vanilla (nice) for this woman and perhaps a good majority of women's tastes.

Of course sadomasochism isn't always as extreme as it's portrayed in the media. Something as simple as playful teasing/flirting counts. Having a rough sense of humor, and not being afraid to show some of your unpleasant emotions also count.

As someone in that scene, we mysteriously don't have a problem with people complaining about good guys and bad guys, lol. Nor things like the friend-zone. Mainly because we know what we want, and keep open and clear communications about such desires. Honestly in the vanilla dating world and PUA tactics.. it seems to be mainly vanilla people grappling with unrealized sadomasochistic desires in their dating/romantic life.

I do agree with what another post said here.. be yourself. If you don't like even things like playful teasing that's cool. Although I think that will turn many women off. That's fine. There are certainly women who will share your worldview/sentiments.
 
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Ajoj

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Lol i was not a saint, i did have some not pleasing emotions, i argued with her, abou stuff i dont agree with, i told her things that bothered me, and i guess its normal to try to be as best as you can in begining, and but unfortunatelly our time together was limited.

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MehGuy

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What's a bad guy and a good guy to you?

Think PUA is more about short flings, than long romantic partnerships. Manipulation sure, although I think part of that manipulation is seeing through and taking advantage of the manipulations women play on men. Lol.
 
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Ajoj

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Good guy is someone who does not use manipulation to get something from people, and that women use manipulation so should you is just great excuse really. The good guy is someone whose intentions have no hidden motives, and who does not manipulate people.
And you or the other guy didnt answer, are you Christians, how does PUA work with being Christian if you are...?
 
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MehGuy

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Good guy is someone who does not use manipulation to get something from people, and that women use manipulation so should you is just great excuse really.
The good guy is someone whose intentions have no hidden motives, and who does not manipulate people.
So you think the woman doesn't want to be with you because you're not manipulative enough?

And you or the other guy didnt answer, are you Christians, how does PUA work with being Christian if you are...?

As for me, I'm an atheist. Nor am I a PUA.. I don't need them. Nor do I think a man needs to manipulate women to get them into them. Many women like rough love, but that doesn't mean one needs to be manipulative about it. Best if you're not. Clean and clear communication is key..

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MehGuy

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First qoute, whaat? I dont understand what are you asking, maybe my english is not good...

You said a good guy is a man who is not manipulative and has no hidden motives. Given this thread, I'm wondering then if the woman left you because you lacked being manipulative?

Or do you have more to add to the bad guy/good guy definitions?
 
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CodyFaith

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I'd rather just be a righteous man, serve God and love others and the church. No manipulation as that is not loving someone, nor is trying to control a woman's mind loving them.

Any other avenue is wrong morally.
 
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Grandpa2390

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I hate sounding like a broken record but...I'm guessing you have no experience in the community and simply read something online, based on your response. There are many facets to it and frankly, it's something you'd have to be a part of to understand fully. its like the news, they never point out the good stories, that's too boring, gotta point out the freaks and bad peoples if you want the good stuff. Don't believe what everyone says, try it yourself.

We must agree to differ on this point. The very definition of Pickup Artist defeats you. Choose another word by which to define yourself if you don't like the image and definition that Pickup Artist carries because you will not succeed in changing it.

getting involved with PUA has nothing to do with being a "good guy" or "bad guy". Just because someone rejects PUA stuff doesn't automatically make them a good person, neither does it make someone a bad person by getting involved. It's probably difficult for you to understand from a distance so I don't blame you. many people see the label and judge it prematurely. not all PUA stuff are manipulative in nature, though there is the darker more manipulative stuff, that's not all there is to it. Its something you have to experience to understand fully. I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't judge a book by its cover.

Not all satanist stuff is evil and so forth. Some of it actually makes sense. Have you read the 10 Satanist commandments, for example?
But just because I agree with some of their beliefs, or the beliefs of islam, or communism, or anything else, doesn't mean I wish to identify myself with them, and defend everything they believe.


edit: 11 commandments of Satanism, not 10
 
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Ajoj

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You said a good guy is a man who is not manipulative and has no hidden motives. Given this thread, I'm wondering then if the woman left you because you lacked being manipulative?

Or do you have more to add to the bad guy/good guy definitions?
No it just wasnt meant to be, we are almost thirty, in those years you got tired of childish stuff, like manipulating someone, although me nor she were never like that.
 
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Senkaku

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The word manipulation is evil in its core, dont know how it can be good...
haha, well, like I said, its hard to understand unless you've been involved in it. Manipulation has to do with the intention of the individual and the level of selfishness in their decisions. Everyone manipulates to some degree, its when you cross the line that makes it evil. don't believe me, try going this whole day without controlling something, you'll fail the moment you use your phone to your advantage, pick up a remote control for a TV set, the moment you are nice to someone to gain their approval, etc. If you pray and attend church and read your bible for God's approval, then you are trying to manipulate his view of you...you see what I'm saying yet? it's the intention that makes manipulation bad. its not what you do, its why you do it that matters. some people just don't know how to talk to the opposite sex and may turn to something like PUA or advice from someone or something like that, I don't think they are manipulative, I just think they are trying to understand something, can you fault them for that? if so, then don't ask for advice or seek anything out, but simply continue doing what you are doing and expect different results. are you understanding what I'm saying yet? everyone manipulates, you can't avoid it, but it comes down to the why, that's what matters. are you getting involved in PUA to manipulate or get people in bed? well then yeah, you are a bad person. are you getting involved because you can't seem to understand the opposite sex or you haven't got a date in years or you can't seem to hold a relationship and you want to better yourself? well, thats different, that means you want a better life for yourself and your future potential partners, I don't think thats bad at all, I think that is a good motive. are you seeing this yet?
 
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Ajoj

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I dont get the phone, or remote, those are devices
I do not manipulate people.
If you are using techniques, then its not from your heart its not you, its not what you said being honest to yourself
i dont pray or go to church so God would have better image of me, he knows my soul, its not like i can fool him, i go to church or pray so i can be closer to Him. You know opening your heart.
Dont get that whole people dont know how to speak to women,
its matter of confidence, its not there is like some way we can all learn,
if you have to learn something thats not you, because if it was you you wouldnt have to learn. And first of all i was and still am in lot of pain because of her, at the moment i asked a question i was in very hard moment, right now i wouldnt write this question, especially for that girl.

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planet_joe

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Do girls really love "bad guys", i always thought this is crap, i acted perfectly with this girl, and it was not to gain something from her, its because she deserved it, and because im wired that way. But after some time and in the end, she said there was no sparks, and that im great guy. Do girls not know that this is not a compliment, if you say that to a guy when you are leaving him.
The feeling of heartbreak is devastating...

Some things just aren't meant to be. It's alright. We're not all meant for each other. It doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Don't worry about trying to be a "bad" boy. If it's companionship you're after, you just be you, express yourself in your own way. (This is confidence. It doesn't mean being an extrovert if you're an introvert, it just means being settled in yourself.) Don't let other people's tastes take precedence over your own identity. Your future partner wants you for you. After a few false starts, you should find her. Seems to take most people a few false starts.
 
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JCFantasy23

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On topic, OP, I'd say that the question of "good" guys or "bad" guys is probably not the most helpful way to look at it. Ask a woman where she wants her life to be in ten years' time. The man she will choose will be the man who helps her be in that place, in ten years' time. You need to work out if you want to be that man with her.
 
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