Advice regarding a senior pastor

Benaiahian Monk

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The Bible talks about this is 3 fold manner . First is
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Matthew 18:20
Pray first that he will direct your mind into the path that you should go.
A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels:
Proverbs 1:5
That is what you are trying to do here.
Thirdly is the hardest part but scriptural and has to be done unformally but directly.
But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
Matthew 18:16
Not a gang up on ,but a prayerful meeting in brotherly love .
Let all your conserns be placed upon the scales of thy brother and if the weight be to great and An unjust weight you must remove yourself and go to the mountain to pray.
((((Prayer))))
Most gracious Heavenly Father weigh this issue on your just scales and let it guide the hearts of men . To Christ be the glory and his most precious name Amen.
 
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Greg J.

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I'm just reading this thread for the first time. So many issues and possibilities come to mind I am overwhelmed. Without a more specific question, my thought is only to relate my understanding of our priorities according to my interpretation of Scripture:

1. God
2. Your spouse
3. Your children
4. Your parents
5. The rest of your immediate family
6. Your extended family, other Christians, and doing the work God has given you to do
7. Strangers, your work
8. You

While it is enormously counter-cultural, submitting to those who have legitimate authority over you is extremely valuable. For one thing, it is the arrangement God wants at this time and he will reward you for enduring. Another reason is because doing so is what grows one's ability to handle increased authority. (It takes a lot longer than the world thinks it does.) Do the best job you can with the responsibilities you already have. It may help to have your responsibilities clearly written down (agreed upon by your senior pastor) and, if possible, prioritized.

“His master replied, ’Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ (Matthew 25:21, 1984 NIV)

Every human we are required to submit to has flaws, sometimes much worse ones that you have described for your senior pastor.

Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. (1 Peter 2:18, 1984 NIV) (Also see 1 Peter 2:13-25.)
 
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ezra932

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I am a young (30’s) associate pastor at a small church with a senior pastor in his mid to late 60’s. Though the church is small, has no other young families or kids, and has shown no interest in growing over the last 3 years, My family has stayed because the community was good and it was a wonderful place to learn the ropes. However, lately the senior pastor will not return my phone calls or texts even when their are things that need to be discussed. It was only a mild annoyance, but recently my wife had surgery and ended up in the ER/hospital for two days. Neither before the surgery, after it, or during the time at the ER did my senior pastor bother to call, text, or visit my wife and I to pray or offer support. In fact I even messaged him several times letting him know how things were going only to get no response. There are several other odd things like his wife only showing up to service once a month an so forth which are cumulatively concerning me. Anyone have any thoughts or advice on this issue and how you would handle it? He was a Navy captain and a bit of a micromanager so he does not handle direct confrontation very well.
pray about it.. could be time to move on .yes it would have been nice to check in.. how does he do the the others in the church when something like this happens? 2. do you not have any Deacons they have a responsibility also
 
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ezra932

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I am really surprised to see this kind of response on here. Prayerfully seeking advice in a discrete manner before going to someone is not childish. Rather, it was my hopes that others may have experienced similar things and could shed some light from their experience. In the future you are free to simply ignore my posts if you don't desire to respon with Christlike charity.

As for the other comments and for clarity purpose. I have no expectations of him that are unreasonable. I am unwilling to buck the system and start out on my own that is divisive and hurtful to the body and to him. Our church has an average attendance of 50, we are not some programmatic megachurch behemoth. We have a plethora of free time...that is why it is so concerning that we did not even receive a text saying "praying for you all". It is not that my feelings are hurt that i was not visited and am demanding to be treated better. It is that I am seeing as a very bad sign of somethign worse involved. One thing a small church should do well is pastoral care.
to be honest with you Bro Davis.. internet forum is the worst place to get advice.. if you have deacons or other spiritual authority go talk to them about this. express your concern as has been listed there are steps to be taken if nothing works could be time move on
 
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Paidiske

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In Anglican polity, deacons don't have that kind of role. If the OP is unable to resolve the situation with his vicar/rector there are people he might talk to - his area dean, or archdeacon, or bishop - but they are outside the local congregation.
 
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ezra932

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In Anglican polity, deacons don't have that kind of role. If the OP is unable to resolve the situation with his vicar/rector there are people he might talk to - his area dean, or archdeacon, or bishop - but they are outside the local congregation.
i am Evangelical myself
 
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brocke

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I'm joining this thread perhaps a bit late, but as a former pastor who dealt a lot with stress and conflict in the church perhaps I can help or at least give you support.

What have you done or tried since your first post?

If I was in a similar position as you I think I'd first try working on the one to one relationship with my senior pastor. Schedule an appointment at their convenience to just meet and talk. Ask how they are doing, how is the church supporting them, what is encouraging them, what is discouraging them. Pray with them not just for them. See if you can develop that into more discussion times.

I would be just trying to reach out and support. Ask specifically what areas in the church or ministry can you help them with, which areas do you see they would like you to be involved in.

Why this approach? Maybe the problem actually has nothing to do with you at all. Perhaps the pastor is burnt out or dealing with a personal family issue, health issue they don't want to let others know, etc..

I'm not comfortable just saying what to do without gathering more information. Such as what has been the relationship between the two of you? Is their behavior a sudden change? Perhaps the two of you are not sharing the same vision? If so you as the associate need to be flexible to what the Senior Pastor is wanting to do, not the other way around.

I would like to hear more.
 
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Andy centek

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I am a young (30’s) associate pastor at a small church with a senior pastor in his mid to late 60’s. Though the church is small, has no other young families or kids, and has shown no interest in growing over the last 3 years, My family has stayed because the community was good and it was a wonderful place to learn the ropes. However, lately the senior pastor will not return my phone calls or texts even when their are things that need to be discussed. It was only a mild annoyance, but recently my wife had surgery and ended up in the ER/hospital for two days. Neither before the surgery, after it, or during the time at the ER did my senior pastor bother to call, text, or visit my wife and I to pray or offer support. In fact I even messaged him several times letting him know how things were going only to get no response. There are several other odd things like his wife only showing up to service once a month an so forth which are cumulatively concerning me. Anyone have any thoughts or advice on this issue and how you would handle it? He was a Navy captain and a bit of a micromanager so he does not handle direct confrontation very well.
 
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lee11

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Hi

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concerns with us.

As the senior shepherd obviously he should have contacted you to enquire about the wellbeing of your yourself and partner.

I would hope that he was engaged in some other crisis, or at least something very important that prevented him from contacting or checking on you.

At some stage when you are free, you will need follow up in person and sit down with him and discuss your concerns, just to ascertain what is going on and is there anything that you can do to help support or resolve things.

If you do have an issue with him personally, as others have already mentioned and you think that is appropriate, then if you wish to follow the bible guidelines that’s up to you.

At the end of the day, if you cannot reach an agreement or resolve things, you may need to follow your churches SOPs, and speak with other leadership management, as to which direction and where you go from here.

They will advise you on what they believe, is a suitable solution.

Peace.
 
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